Bloody DevilBowl

"Boss, wots dat Skwid doin?"

I am currently in my first Blood Bowl League, playing through the Video game with a few American friends and friends of friends that I met through Warmachine.  I don't expect to be able to get like "top player" in this.  In fact, I had my eye on the Wooden Spoon until I won the other night, but in losing out on that, I'm going to have as much fun as possible in the mean time.

My team?  Orks.  Because I love Orks.  Anyone who knows me well enough would say "Medway?  Ork Player."

So here I am, playing my Orks and since I'm playing with American friends, I wanted to exploit the fact that I'm Australian.  So after a bit of thinking, and I only mean a bit, I came up with the Orkstrayans. (STRAYA! WOO!  ORKY ORKY ORKY, OI OI OI!)

Two Black Orks: Ridgy Didge and Aunty Jack.  Aunty Jack is literally my best player.  At the moment of this typing, she has 10 spp all from Badly Hurting people. That's right, she's ripping their bloody arms off

I feel a bit of pride from that lucky coincidence.

I am very excited in playing this, pretty much every week I rock up on a monday night and game on!  I've laughed playing against Khorne while having my arse handed against me.  I cringed playing against Nurgle (He had really unlucky rolls.  Like so bad, he lost his tough fkn monster this game, and the next from me singling it out...).  And I still have a bunch of matches to go which I'm excited to play.

It's a frustrating game.  It's a game that you get so fucking angry at dice rolls.  Like blowing your sneakers, you know it could fucking happen when you really need it the most.  Or just spending a minute trying to figure out what your first move will be when you have no rerolls and are under the very real impression that you could roll one or more Skulls, knocking you on your arse before you even start doing anything.

But that's the charm of the game.  You rage at those fucking dice.  You jump up and down as you fail to pick up a ball, with a reroll, but you just can't lift that slippery fucker because looking at Nurgle Warriors is like hammering a nail through your scrotum, and because it's raining.  Two very big negatives.  But you rage at your tiny chances and carry on like a twit on Facebook about it because that's what you do between games.

I can't wait for more games, I want to see the lads back home set up the Blokenstein League, and I am just happy I'm getting some fun gaming on.

Is there anything I don't like?  It would have to be the post game.  I don't like having to log into the game just to assign abilities and change my lineup.  It's all stuff that could easily be done through a Web Page, or even a tablet app.  It's a simple thing that i hope Blood Bowl 2 will apply.

Musings of being Bored

"Where'z da Any Key, Boss?"

Thinking is my biggest thing lately.  What with being unemployed and spending most of my time applying for jobs that don't have the decency to respond with an email saying I had been declined for an interview, I spend the rest of my time playing video games and considering my move to the 'zoo.

I've been making room for my video games for the big move by Min-maxing my stuff.  I'll be taking two consoles with me, my PSP and my Xbox, and working around taking them.  Like getting a CD Wallet and filling it with my Xbox games and favourite movies and TV shows. (Firefly was first in line)

When I chose my Xbox, I thought about how I wanted to continue interacting with my friends at home as The Boys all have Xbox's, so that was an easy choice.  But The Lads, they're a different kettle of fish.  They're mostly PC players, and the biggest game we have in common is Bloodbowl (though a few do stand out of that particular group).

I hope that'll be easy to sort out, because I have Blood Bowl on my PC and so do most of The Lads (I'm pretty sure).  So I would love to see the Blokenstein League start sometime not long after the move, but we'll see.

Though it brought me back to my Xbox because I remember when I was living with Richard, he had a copy of Blood Bowl for Xbox and then it went on to Cross-Platform compatibility, and while it does come down to nobody fighting fair, it's still a thought I indulge.

Playing Blood Bowl in the loungeroom, playing in a League with my friends in Australia, relaxing while I move my pieces around (only to get thwarted, naturally).  However that wouldn't be possible even the Cross-Platform compatibility was possible simply because the Xbox version is still behind by about 3 updates.  It has gone completely unsupported.  It would be easy to sort out, what with Downloadable Content being a large factor in the development of games today, but it comes down to what the developers can and can't do.

Downloading games is a massive thing now.  The availability, the range, the variety.  I just spent the Australia day long weekend downloading entire games for my nephew's Xbox because I promised them to him.  And conveniently, he had vouchers for a free copy of Skyrim and a Free month on Xbox Live.

I remember going through the Playstation Network Store months ago, just having a browse, and found that I could get the Monster World series.  I didn't purchase it, because I had it on my computer as part of an Emulator, but it still made me think how so many games from the past are still available.

Though I still resent the fact that I still have Playstation 2 games that I can't play on my Playstation 3, unless I want to buy them again.  Which I do not.  Backwards compatibility, in my opinion, still remains to be a standard feature.  But I would also like to see the option for the same game on multiple systems.

Playstation have that, with the PS Mini's, games that are playable on both their portable and home systems.  The games aren't complicated, they aren't fit to max the system of the Playstation 3, but they're there for the fun.  The way I look at it, PSP games are much the same.  They're not graphically able to max out the PS3, and they're really good fun.

So what's the harm in letting them play them on the Big Screen?  Heck, I would love to play Patapon on my TV.  I'd play while my nephews watch and order me around, or I could feel like i'm playing the original Final Fantasy Tactics like some of my friends have.

Same goes with other Companies, like Nintendo.  They offered Gameboy Advance games on your TV through an attachment on your Gamecube.  And they still offer many Gameboy games on the online store.  And with the release of the WII U, how difficult would it be to play a DS game through it?  If you can download it onto your system, you could easily play it without a hassle.

Though I wouldn't get myself a WII U, simply because I just don't have any inclination to, I do think about what I'm missing out on.  I have a Gameboy Advance emulator with a large set of games, and I've thought how nice it would be to play these on the big screen.  Especially Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis, one of my favourite games, which I would like to see as a DLC for the PSP game.

But once again, I bring around the point that these are simply musings of a Gamer who wants the world.  If we ever see any of these in the future, I'll be happy.

Oh wait, the Steambox is coming.  It's a Console that allows you to play games from your Steam Library.

Close enough.

Heck, I may even be able to play World of Warcraft through it too.  Though I don't want to pay for it any more.  I think about when the game will actually die, and how much of a waste it will be to have a game like that closed up, and how cool it would be to have Blizzard make a stand alone RPG in it, covering all the significant events that cropped up, from clearing out the training grounds of enemies, to finding out what happened to Magni Bronzebeard after Arthur took Frostmorne, to the Cataclysm.

That or do a storyline on specific character combos.  Like the Orc Warrior, the Night Elf Hunter, the Human Mage, the Goblin Engineer, etc etc etc. But that'll have to wait for WoW to die out first.  I'm still waiting for Starcraft Ghost, regardless of it's Indefinite hold.

Blood Bowl Advert

Yep. I approve.

Home Pitch

Y'know, i'm going to have to start designing my Bloodbowl table because I want it to look cool. The pitch, the Dugouts, a parking spot for the Squiggoth, a Dice Tower... It'll be a pretty awesome table because I damn well want it to be.

We have to get down the basics, such as the pitch itself. Kel has his own pitch that he made, using a 60x90cm board, then gotten a GW Grass Mat and laid it over. Then he marked out the lines, drill on a handle and Bob Biffords your Uncle: he has a portable table.

Now I like that idea, it's simple and it works out well. If I want a Blood Bowl Game, I can just whip out that baby and Game On. Nice and Cheap. Not to mention reliable.

But for the one day that I get to make my Nerd Hold, I will want a couple of tables that are permanent looking. So one of which will be the Blood Bowl table, because nothing changes on that table except the models that play on it.

So I'm going to think about the Skarboyz Home Field. How would I build it? W hat would I put on it? What would be cool to have in it?

Well I'll need dugouts. That should be easy enough. When I do the main table, cut out some squares in the board and cut the grass out after that. The get some Tack Nails and some glue and secure it underneath with a thinner board.

There's a parking spot for the Touring Squiggoth “Skarboyz Biggest Fan”. He'll want to see the game, so he'll need a front on view. I may put him at the Away Teams end, so that they feel a little threatened when they go to make a touchdown.

The Enemy of my Friend gets Eaten – The touring squiggoth is well aware that he shouldn't eat enemy players. However, occasionally he just gets so mad he can't help himself. After an enemy player makes a successful touchdown, the squiggoth rolls a D6. On a roll of a 1, the squiggoth eats the player that just made a touchdown. The player is not dead, however it cannot be retrieved unti the end of the half. The player has -2 to anything to do with the ball (intercept, catch, pass, pickup) as their hands are slippery, and they gain the Foul Appearance mutation until the end of the match.

I also want to make a Dice Tower. I've had a look at a couple of different internal designs for dice towers (the standard 3 ramps; the entropy tower where there's loads of sticks in the way of the tunnel; spiral tower) and I think they're all very cool, and different which is the best part.

But there's the problem of outer design because I don't know what to do with it. I could cover it in Blood Bowl Adverts; I could put on a rockin stage for the Skarboyz Cheerleading Band; I could make a commentators box for Bob Bifford and Jim Johnson. Those are three (rather cool) options. And this will be up the Home Team end so that it's not in the way of players.

Then I'll have to have grandstands. And the only image in my head for the grandstands is a bunch of cartoon fantasy characters jumping and cheering on a long strip of paper which is stuck onto a set of paddlepop seats.

I dunno. May as well figure out what to do with the first set, though before I head anywhere.

A Band of Orcs

Okay. This is very cool. This is what I call a Blood Bowl "Cheerleader" Band.

I could make a stage for them on top of the Touring Squiggoth's Tusks. Nah, that'd be stupid.

http://abandoforcs.com

"MAKE WAY FOR DA DEFFROLLA!"

So I had a long hard thought about what to do about a Promobike. I couldn't figure it out. Though I got the idea from it, I didn't like the idea of a Motorbike with a trolley on the back. Not even a pushbike looked cool.

I thought about using the standard 40k Ork bikes, but didn't see much room to 'advertise'. If I covered up the sides, or put something over the top, it would look pretty weird. More like a float than anything else. Or a boat. That could float...

I thought about Sand Surfer, you know the surf boards with sails but given a set of wheels so they can just go across sand? Yeah, but it just didn't make... sense.

What about a Buggy? Okay, probably a bit better, but where do I advertise? Maybe make him like a Sprint Car, and give him room to advertise there.

Then today, I thought about these fan factor models and said to myself “These guys could be honorary members of the team. Especially the Squiggoth. He'd be #17.”

Somehow my mind rolled over to the thought of a team member actually Dying, and subbing in the player with an honorary member. Such as the Squiggoth.

“What about the bike?” I said to myself. “How would we play him?”
“Well,” I responded “We'd just play him as if he had a Deathroller.”

Then it struck me. A deathroller bike? That'd be AWESOME! Make it a giant Blood Ball with extra spikes, put a sweet engine on the back and maybe the Sprint Car roof on top and Bob's your uncle.

It'd be pretty hard to put on a 25mm base, but I'll give it a go. I'd probably have to make it like a Monocycle in that case.

"WAAAGH IF YA HORNY" or How to build Fan Factor

First thing I thought of when I got home was “How will I mount a Scoreboard onto this Sucker?” Naturally it'll be on a Howdah just behind the drivers seat. And I'd make it a scorecard sort and have Orks behind it changing the cards to keep track.

Next is where will I put the Promokopta? I'd have to give it somewhere to park while it's not being used. How about on the Squiggoth? The main howdah is for people to travel in, so why not build a landing pad on top of it? Instead of having a H in a circle, do the Ork Blood Bowl team logo.

Otherwise, paint the side of the Howdah with the Blood Bowl Logo and “SKARBOYZ BIGGIST FAN” on the other. Up the back, an Ork Yelling out behind and holding a banner saying “WAAAGH IF YA HORNY!”

The Promokopta is going to be mostly custom made. I have a Garlic and Horseradish tablet bottle. Turn it on it's side, add Helicopter Rotors and skis, use the open top as a Jet engine, add a cockpit to the front (bottom of bottle) and if I want twinlink Rokkit Launchers, I have a pair of PS2-USB adaptors.

If I were talented enough, I'd open up the sides of the bottle to make extended platforms for Orks to sit/shoot from. The Rokkit launchers would have to be filled with actual rockets, so I'm thinking having one filled to the brim with rockets, and the other firing a piglet. Kel gave me that idea when we saw the Farrow Razorback, a rocket launcher held by pig men. I reckon it'd be awesome for the commentators.

“The crowd goes into a frenzy and pours into the pitch! What's this? The Kopta is getting into it too and... He's porked some poor sod in the head with a flying piglet!”

"Skarboyz Biggest Fan"

So I've wanted to make Ork Vehicles for ages. Nothing too significant, something small and entertaining. I already have an old Space Marine or Imperial Guard Tank sitting about waiting to get Looted.

But it came to me in a flash of lightning. How the hell do teams get across the country? By Tour Bus. What's better than a Tour Bus? A Tour Squiggoth. And what do I have? A Squiggoth!


To boot, when the thought hit me, the image in my head had a little helicopter in the background with one of those streaming banners with “Blood Bowl” trailing behind. So Why not make a mobile of a Deffkotpa with a trailing banner?

I also keep seeing those scooters with trailers on the back with advertisements on them. So an Orc bike with a Blood Bowl Trailer? Game on!

Yes I know that they're both the wrong time period, but you know what? It's cool! I could scrounge up a few bits and bobs from Aarons old Orks bits, like his Trukks and whatnot and maybe buy a box or two of Deffkoptas from the GW shop and convert one of the Deffkoptas into a bike! Or just buy an Ork Bike, but that wouldn't be as cool.

That'd give me an excuse to make a Squiggoth Side Car with a Bike Slingshot, and a landing pad on top of the howdah.

And it's all Justified as Fan Factor.

Model Delivery

So I received my Bloodbowl team in the mail. The poor bag got wet and the packaging was falling apart in Adams hands as he handed it to me, but luckily the pewter was fine in their own plastic sealed bags.

Twelve models, with the only two doubles being my linemen, sit in front of me wanting to be cleared of flash. And they're not little bits of flash either, they're actually kinda chunky.

But they're here and they're ready. I've figured out a few names for them too. Few'shor O'brikk'hows is going to be my Fat Ork Blocker, Galgutz Eat'ch'ya is going to be the mucleclad Black Orc Runner. I call him a Black Orc Runner because the name comes from the Video game which Automatically generates names. And Galgutz, through his Career, has scored about 7 touchdowns before I upgraded to the Legendary Edition (And pretty much lost that team).

I also had Dubb'lin and Glaz'gow Eddbutz, the Blitzer brothers, and I figured the easiest way to tell them apart was to paint their faces in their respective countries flags (Green, white, Gold vertical stripes; blue with white cross). The two figures I've picked both look similar, and the other two don't look like them at all. One is raising his arm as if to catch something, and the other has a pair of sharp implements on.

All in all, it's a good day for Bloodbowl and in celebration I think I'm going to try and play that Dwarf Team again.

Fkn Deathroller with a ST of 7.

Blood Bowl - Of Teamwork and Cheerleaders

So I've been playing Blood Bowl on the computer for almost a week now, and I think I'm figuring out Orcs. I think.

I've been fairly lucky too in most cases, though playing the campaign has limited my opponents to about 3 or 4 teams. Goblins are easy. The funny thing about them is that if anything actually hits them, they either get knocked out or suffer damage. Though I do have to watch out for the little bugger with the ball and chain. Bastard Hurts.

But they're fairly easy. Block them with two or more dudes and they'll be down or out, or better yet Dead, and then just get a Blitzer to bolt across the field. Tie up anyone who could catch up to him, and hope that they get knocked down leaving the tackle zone.

The team that it doesn't work on 9/10 times is fkn Wood Elves. They fkn dance about your players and they have enough speed to be able to do a passing game really well. Which is really annoying, but I think I figured out how to get around them. It's crude, but get a cage set up around the ball and just let a Blitzer fly up around the side. The elves will eventually regret it as the computer tends to prioritize the ball.

The last team is the Chaos Team. They like to play a cage game, which isn't too much of a hassle. I can slow down the cage with no worries. If I get the ball, then game on. Pass it across the field to a stray Blitzer and... well Blitz the finish line. The Chaos team are as quick as Orcs so they can't catch up with someone across the field easily.

Now I've mentioned Blitzers a few times in this, and thats because they're Freaking Awesome. To boot, one of my Blitzers has levelled up twice and he got a point of strength and I gave him Break Tackle, where he uses his strength instead of Agility when moving out of tackle zones. That's fkn nice.

On top of that, my Black Orc Blocker levelled up from smacking the crap out of everyone he was in front of, so I gave him Block. Cos that's what you do, give a guy who's role is to Block people the Block Skill. Just to add insult to injury.

So far that's what I've faced, though I have plenty of work ahead of me.

The one thing that really bugs me about the game is that the teams I began facing weren't on the same par as me. They had earnt their own special abilities each, but I guess that's how it works.

The worst part is that I'm playing it on easy. And it's not an easy game, though once you figure it out, the computer can be exploited. Eventually if the League with the Lads starts up, I'll have a hard fight ahead of me.

One thing I really like about the Video game is that the models for the Orcs look Awesome. I'd take those models if they looked like that. The ones that are in the GeeDubb gallery look a little lame. And the Cheerleader is just terrifying. She's one of those girls who wears a skirt, and only a skirt, to work, and only if you're lucky. Otherwise, she spends her time practising seaknots with herself.

*Shudder*

That's one thing the game has got right. If there's a monsterous team that have an unsettling cheerleader squad, then they give them something more appropriate. For Orcs, it's a bunch of male Orcs wearing robes and banging drums.

So that makes me think of a cool cheerleader squad of a Band playing various instruments, like one fellow screaming out while waving a noisemaker around. It's not a Cheerleader Squad, but damnit it's easy on the eyes.

That's one thing I forgot to mention. I changed my team a bit. Now there's 5 Lineorks, 1 Thrower, 1 Black Orc and 4 Blitzers. Then after a few games, I had money to buy another Lineork just to cover an injury or a send off.

So that's Blood Bowl for me. Now to actually get the figures and paint em up. After that, might do a Nordic Team. And after that, with two Trolls in hand, I'll make a Goblin Team.

For Trolls, I don't want to use the standard GW ones. I want to use Warmachine Trolls. Troll Bomber for one, just drop the kegs. Or maybe one of the elemental trolls?

Hmm... Nordic Team made up of Doomreavers and Nihilators. That'll be fun.

Something I think I may be doing wrong with my Team is that I'm raising my value too high? Other teams are getting more inducements, whereas I'm getting nothing. I wouldn't mind bribing the ref more often. I'm already at max cheerleaders, my fan factor was 9 from the start (though it's dropped down to 8 after losing a few games) and I have my own apothecary. I'm just gonna start hoarding my money now and only buy a new player on occasion.

---

Hello. I think I found myself some Miniatures.

---

And on top of that, after playing the Video game for 2 hours, I got my Black Orc to make three touchdowns. Good stuff.

Foot-the-ball

I'm a fan of Terry Pratchett, and recently I have been reading Unseen Academicals. The story is about the wizards of the Unseen University having to play the Poor Boys Fun, or Football. Because Terry is a Pom, he's meaning Soccer. And because I don't like using the word Football, I use their alternative names.

Rugby, Aussie Rules, Gridiron, Soccer, etc etc etc. That's just my thing to prevent confusion. Just don't use the word Football.

Anyway, I had an epiphany last night which had nothing to do with Unseen Academicals at first, but blossomed into it.

I was looking at Bloodbowl last night, the Fantasy Gridiron Board Game. I want to do Orcs because... well I like Orcs. I want to make a team because of 2 reasons. 1: Because some of my mates really like Bloodbowl, and 2: Because it's funny.

Then I thought I should make a Human team, a fairly even sort of team that one can make in Bloodbowl.

Now I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

So a Bloodbowl Team of Wizards. Conveniently enough, there are some Discworld Figures that one can purchase to add to the team, like Rincewind who would be a Catcher because he can run, but fingers crossed in the right direction. Should just put a potato at the goal area.

I'm not sure how many other Wizard Figures there are, but chances are there's Ridcully in there. I know that the Librarian is available, and he just HAS to be in the game. He can take the role of Ogre because he's as strong as one.

Cheerleaders I'd like to say are the Witches, but all I see are Granny Weatherwax looking on disapprovingly with her Pom Poms on the floor, and Nanny Ogg dancing on a table singing the hedgehog song.

The Apothecary HAS to be Ironic so it's a position given to Death.

I can't think of anyone else off the top of my head, so I'll leave it at that for characters. But modelwise, there's a few funny ones I can think of.

Blitzers or Blockers would be Wizards with the biggest guts, big round bellys . One of the catchers would be a take from the Female Human Uncertain Receiver, but instead of opening his top he'll just lift his robe to make a net.

That's my idea for a Male Human Bloodbowl team. Once I get the details down, I'll probably look into it and then see how far the Unseen Academicals can get.

-----

I damn Blarkon for giving me the idea for "Shirtless Chaos" - a Chaos Bloodbowl team that is made up of Warmachine Figures. Doomreaver Linemen and Nihilator Blitzers. I don't know what else to use, because there's nothing else that's really shirtless, but damn this is fkn ridiculous.