Cribbage Ribbage

Lately Ive been interested in Roguetype games.  Games which have no set structure, where items, levels, enemies, and anything else you might think of, may be randomised for your experience.  All of them have the same goal of "start from the beginning and reach the end."  Run the Race.  Conquer the marathon.  If you fail, you start again.

    Generally Roguetypes come in two genres: Rogue Like, and Rogue Lite.

    Rogue Like games start your character with the same basic setup, like a Sword and Shield.  Generally like you've made no progress at all when you start again.  Often games like this will expand on itself, letting you find unlocks through the game which vary your play and style every time you start a new run, sometimes even offering up a different starting weapon if you want.

    Rogue Lite games don't just expand, but improve.  Every run can gather you resources or improvements that can roll over onto subsequent runs, improving stats or equipment, forming a sense of progress into your character.

The only Roguetype game I ever played before the genre boom was Dragon Crystal, a Sega Master System game about someone who found a dragons egg that follows them up thirty randomised floors to the top of a tower.  You progress slowly but surely, collecting potions and scrolls, cursing yourself with unknown armour and jewellery, fighting the wildest enemies like a flaming tree that chucks fire at you from across the room while a floating blinking eyeball... just... kinda... blinks more furiously at you.

Since the boom there are hundreds of Roguetype games, harkening their own genre tags on Steam, streamers with the ability to chat away during their runs able to gain popularity, and something of a cult following causing hundreds more of clones with interesting spins.

One of which that has gained popularity over the last year is Balatro, a Roguelike game based off the idea of Poker.  You face a target Chip score that you have to reach using a standard deck of cards and playing different hands that give you different or better scores and bonuses based on the hand.  A two pair might give you 100 chips, but a Ace High straight might give you 150 chips.  You draw 8 random cards from your deck and form your plays from there.  Simple.

Between each hand you stop by the shop where things get interesting.  The game from then on works as a Deckbuilding game allowing you to improve your standing using Card Collecting tropes, offering card packs with consumables, some of which come in the form of Tarot Cards, or special Joker Cards that add to your play style.  The Joker cards are gorgeous, especially in that they all look like the effect they apply.  The Vagrant Joker looks like a Vagrant Clown; the Misprint joker is misaligned and cut wrong; The Credit Card is exactly what it sounds like for "Bank Gold"; The Loyalty Card for Jokers Deli offers you bonuses for every 6th Hand; The Business Card, the Golden Ticket, the Ride the Bus, the Hanging Chad, the Drivers License, the Certificate, the To-Do List... I think you get the idea.

Jokers will often give you mulitipliers for what you play, turning that 100 for a pair by putting a x2 on the end, upped to x4 because theyre both diamonds, up to x6 because it's the first hand and you have a face card in there, oh make it x10 because they're all evens, oh and get a tarot card because you have less than $4 in your pocket.   Multiply and improve and now you have over 1,000 chips

I've been watching a lot of Balatro get played since the new Demo came out and all I can think is "Why doesn't Cribbage have this?"

I've been playing a lot of Cribbage lately, just passively on my phone when I'm feeling dissociative and fidgety, and while I've learnt a few things playing it over and over, I've reasserted something in my head: Computers tend to cheat.  And I will believe that even through a wealth of evidence countering that belief, and my biggest cheating opponent is the game of Cribbage.

It's one thing if I'm having my arse handed to me by an actual opponent like my Mum, seeing how she reached her points and choices for the flop, but you cant read computers so there's always a chance that they just happen to have the right cards hiding up their metaphorical sleeve.

I want to see is some variety.  The app I play with mum is just the standard rules but one day I'd like to change things up and play things like Negative Crib where you aim to get the least number of points, or maybe even Crib Wars where you try and get to 363 points through what I can only assume is a Snakes and Ladders gauntlet.

Balatro has gotten me into extra mind, trying to think about how it would go in that style.  You get similar hand plays, your Pairs, Three and Four-of-a-kinds, but you also get to count 15's, and Straights can start at 3 cards but get more points if you can combo it out.

I.e. a 3, 4, 5 will get three points, but a 3, 4, 4, 5 will net eight because you can form two straights and a pair.  A 3, 4, 4, 4, 5 will net fifteen because of 3 runs of 3, and a 3-of-a-kind which is 3 pairs making six points.  If you consider the chance of getting 15's in there then your points start to skyrocket.

Thinking more about it, it would probably be easy to implement it.  You still get your 8 cards, you just draw an extra card that has to be in hand.  You play up to four cards to add to it and garner your chips from a slightly different pool that accounts for 15's and combo straights.  Bonus if the turn is a Jack, and/or if a Jack being played is the same suit as the turn.  Plus a special 19 Joker that gives you a multiplier if you play a hand that doesn't score any points.

Might have to see if I can't doodle up a 19 Joker.  Or not, it could just be a blank card.

Aside: There was a Truck at the shop that was Truck 19.  It was a dreadful vehicle.  But it was a big Red Chevy truck, and now I want to get a classic Red Chevy Truck and put a Ace and 9 of Diamonds on it and call it my Truck 19.

Additional Aside: I also learnt some new obsolete terms going down a small wiki hole.  A Prial is a Three of a Kind, and a Mournival is a Four of a Kind.  The Elder is the person who is first after the dealer.

Also, any excuse to use this gorgeous board that I got for my Birthday.

"What do we want?" "MONSTERPOCALYPSE!"

I miss Monsterpocalypse.  It has been such a long time since I've played it.  Years even, and I found my collection before I came to the US and it brought back memories.

I shared it amongst five of my friends, all taking an alignment each and chipping in on a box and splitting it six ways. Then games went wild, buildings destroyed and Carnidons screaming in terror and pain from the sidelines as they wish they were being played.

But the game kinda... ceased.  It finished off the fifth wave, and that was all since, apart from the occasional special figure at an event.

There were a few problems with the business model that a couple of my friends found were a problem. Whether they contributed to it, I don't know, but the fact that it acted like a collectible game at such a high price rubbed most of us the wrong way.

Its been a good two years since, and I've had some jonesing for Monsterpocalypse since I got here.  I left my stuff at home, and honestly I do not want to go about collecting it again since I do not have the income for it.  But I've been playing a lot of our tablet lately and it got me to thinking.

Why not make a video game out of it?  Privateer Press are already doing the Warmachine Video Game, so why not do a Kickstarter of a Monpoc game?  Earn your Hyper forms by attaining goals, form up your units and organise them on the battlefield, create animations of a Carnidon exploding from a Tank Cannon.  Form up online leagues and conquer countries from coast to coast, and giving buildings their own skins based on the current country too.

It'd be fantastic.  But alas, just another pipe dream, and something that I came up with while playing an iPad and thinking of cool games that would be played by streaming through Apple TV.  Or on a WiiU.

Bloody DevilBowl

"Boss, wots dat Skwid doin?"

I am currently in my first Blood Bowl League, playing through the Video game with a few American friends and friends of friends that I met through Warmachine.  I don't expect to be able to get like "top player" in this.  In fact, I had my eye on the Wooden Spoon until I won the other night, but in losing out on that, I'm going to have as much fun as possible in the mean time.

My team?  Orks.  Because I love Orks.  Anyone who knows me well enough would say "Medway?  Ork Player."

So here I am, playing my Orks and since I'm playing with American friends, I wanted to exploit the fact that I'm Australian.  So after a bit of thinking, and I only mean a bit, I came up with the Orkstrayans. (STRAYA! WOO!  ORKY ORKY ORKY, OI OI OI!)

Two Black Orks: Ridgy Didge and Aunty Jack.  Aunty Jack is literally my best player.  At the moment of this typing, she has 10 spp all from Badly Hurting people. That's right, she's ripping their bloody arms off

I feel a bit of pride from that lucky coincidence.

I am very excited in playing this, pretty much every week I rock up on a monday night and game on!  I've laughed playing against Khorne while having my arse handed against me.  I cringed playing against Nurgle (He had really unlucky rolls.  Like so bad, he lost his tough fkn monster this game, and the next from me singling it out...).  And I still have a bunch of matches to go which I'm excited to play.

It's a frustrating game.  It's a game that you get so fucking angry at dice rolls.  Like blowing your sneakers, you know it could fucking happen when you really need it the most.  Or just spending a minute trying to figure out what your first move will be when you have no rerolls and are under the very real impression that you could roll one or more Skulls, knocking you on your arse before you even start doing anything.

But that's the charm of the game.  You rage at those fucking dice.  You jump up and down as you fail to pick up a ball, with a reroll, but you just can't lift that slippery fucker because looking at Nurgle Warriors is like hammering a nail through your scrotum, and because it's raining.  Two very big negatives.  But you rage at your tiny chances and carry on like a twit on Facebook about it because that's what you do between games.

I can't wait for more games, I want to see the lads back home set up the Blokenstein League, and I am just happy I'm getting some fun gaming on.

Is there anything I don't like?  It would have to be the post game.  I don't like having to log into the game just to assign abilities and change my lineup.  It's all stuff that could easily be done through a Web Page, or even a tablet app.  It's a simple thing that i hope Blood Bowl 2 will apply.

Another exercise in literary spewing

Happy Birthday Scott 2011

I've been staring at this blank page for about 2 hours now and I originally planned to write about how I wanted to go to scotts birthday, well I'm going but what i wanted to do like get a keg of cider but couldn't find anything but one keg which disappoints me because even though Pear and Strawberry sounds like a good cider, it's the lack of options that disappoint me, and that's a big thing too because sometimes I just want to get just 5L of Bulmers Pear Cider because it's a nice cheap cider, and I like the pear flavour better though Kel says he doesn't like pear cider because it's too sweet, but I just find it easier to drink, but anyway, Scott's birthday is this weekend and it's going all weekend so with my other plans of going to Kel and Tash's to see Alex on friday and then my nephews birthday on saturday (it's a lunch/dinner at sizzler) I can work it all together very well so long as I can get back to my house before mum heads off to sizzler, then I can get back to Scotts to play Warmachine, or Dystopian Wars, or Talisman and all the various expansions scotty has for it which will be crazy fun though I reckon we'll have to make an effort to do something about getting to the top because it can be very easy to just circle around the centre and level up and then climb your way to the top, so we might try and get a relic from each end of the three corner expansions and then climb up the middle, whether it's the normal version or the alternate dragon options, but that's something to sort out when we get there, otherwise we can play our xbox's like Borderlands and maybe even Halo 4 though I think I'll have to share with scott because i don't have a copy of Halo 4 and naturally that makes things difficult, but we'll find other games to play I'm sure because there are plenty of games out there, heck we might even play Gears of War 3 and finally get me to that level 50 of Horde Mode, and hopefully take on a goddamn lambent berserker and have her chase me while I Torque Bow her to death and, well, that'll be fun all in it's entirety, and now I'm really starting to run out of things to talk about even with this mindless ramble that I have because it's all I've been thinking about except for my arcade cabinet which I really want to do but can't because without a job i haven't any money and also if I leave it here it'll probably just rot away because it'll be made of wood and the dust might even set fire inside the playstation 2 that I would have inside it and Mum wouldn't appreciate me burning the house down while i'm living with Jenny, so I have to put that on hold until I move back and get my own place with jenny, and having my own man cave with a sonic the hedgehog arcade machine in the corner.

Board to Video Translations

Every Tuesday Night, I go to a Local Game Store (LGS) and play a board game of whatever sort crops up.

I also like to play Video games, and there have been a good history of board games translating over to Video games quite well. Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, Carcassone, Risk: Factions and even Blood Bowl are good examples. They all have their own special features but they can still be played as the Base Board Game, with the added feature of playing across the internet.

One game that I would like to see a translation of is Talisman. Talisman is a massive board game, with many different characters and encounters, and variants as well! While it's all well and good to play it on a clear table, with drinks and food afoot, the same can be said for those mentioned before.

The thing about Talisman is that one can't be happy with just a basic set. You wouldn't necessarily want to play the same game again and again, which is why Fantasy Flight Games creates expansions for it, to provide a refreshing and expanded experience.

So can the same be said about the Video Games above? I own a copy of Risk: factions and Catan on my Xbox, both of which are very entertaining for what they're worth. They provide a handful of options, for example Risk: Factions allows you to play with objectives, or just World Domination, ala base Risk.

There are more options to Risk than what are provided though. And one feature I would like to see in Risk Factions is a long term Campaign, ala: Risk Legacy. Why? Because it has gotten a bit stale playing the various unique levels over and over again, no matter how much we mix it up, and a proper campaign setting, where you can influence your future actions, rather than play a new game on a larger map with more players, up to a total of 5 games.

But is there anything in sight?  Only if you're playing on Facebook.  And I feel that's unfair.  I bought Risk: Factions on my Playstation thinking it'd be hours of fun.  But I was disappointed to find that it wasn't.  I've hardly played it in months simply because I've gotten over the novelty and the lack of expansion in it.  And the Facebook game is nothing more than a town building game that I can spend money on if I had a diarrhetic stream of cash if I wanted to get anywhere quickly, or just sit there waiting for my Marching Grounds to refresh so I can get more troops.

However I can always just play one of the variants of Board Game, from various video game licenses to even their own variations that include conquering the moon.  They're all interesting and change the same in their own ways.  And that's what I would like to see in Board Game Translations.  Expansions and Variation.

If I wanted to play Settlers of Catan, I could play with the River, or with Seafarers, or I could even jump off into the future with Starfarers of Catan.  But I don't see the Video game providing such a variance.

So it saddens me to see interesting games like these going unappreciated as they are.  I hope that one day, just one day, a developer will translate to a Video game and expand on it just as any other Board Game developer would.

Expanding Horizons

I spent just last Saturday playing Talisman with Scott and Dick. Normally it would have been a session of D&D, the last for the story arc until Aaron figured out what he wants to go with the main Arc, however Aaron didn't even turn up.

But sitting down for Talisman also included some excitment, as we had one of the expansions available, "The Highlands" which adds an additional corner piece to the game. Scott and I will be getting more and more expansions as we go, because the game builds that way, with regular fresh new experiences.

Today I looked up Crysis 3, a game coming out in the future, probably next year, and something Occurred to me: They wasted an opportunity with Crysis 2.

I liked Crysis 2, it was a fun game that only faulted when you got quick Energy Regeneration and Extended Stealth. The combat was exciting and can swing in either way, though I do admit it was quite fun sneaking around everyone and occasionally dropping mines onto the backs of Ceph Devastators.

Aside from the single player, there is the Multiplayer which offers a good set of features for someone who is into that sort of thing, along with DLC's to support it, providing extra features and new maps.

Sadly, there aren't any DLC's for the Single Player, and I find that to be a waste.

Crysis 2 has a lot going for it. It has a good story, it's graphically wonderful (Even on the PS3 version, plug that sucker into 3D Telly and it gets pretty fkn awesome), and it plays really well. But there isn't just one story to follow. Even in Crysis 1 there were two stories, following Nomad and everyones favourite englishman, Psycho.

The story of Crysis 2 follows Alcatraz who takes over Prophet's mission, to a successful point too. Now while that story may be wrapped up rather well, surely there is more to the entire thing? Who is left of the Squad? What of Nomad and Psycho? Had they fought similar battles in different places? What about the lead up to Prophet today? What was he doing and how did he get a Nanosuit 2?

Now as someone who isn't a developer I can only imagine how much it would be worth putting in effort into making and providing expansions, but shouldn't it be one of those things thought of in advance? I hope they have with Crysis 3.

That and 4 Player Cooperative. That'd make it an Xbox sale for me.

Madness?

I came across a game that I didn't expect, tonight. Risk: Legacy. It's a Campaigning for Risk. Which is cool. However, I find that it's a bit wasteful. Why? Because the rules themselves literally say "DESTROY".

What makes this game unique is that when powers are chosen, players must choose one of their faction's two powers, affix that power's sticker to their faction card, then destroy the card that has the other rule on it – and by destroy, the rules mean what they say: "If a card is DESTROYED, it is removed from the game permanently. Rip it up. Throw it in the trash."
- Board Game Geek

The game itself provide a large number of features that are very VERY permanent. So for instance, if one player wins a game they can create a city where they would like. They can name it whatever they like. They write the name on a sticker and place said sticker onto the preferred territory.

Your deck of territory cards have a number of circles on them which you can place up to about 6 or 8 gold stickers onto each of them. It's a feature that you can upgrade the value of a territory when it comes about again in future games. Same thing with other effects, such as biohazards in certain territories.

Now I like the idea. The idea of campaigning in Risk with rules and strategies that expand and continue to do so is very cool. I've thought about it for ages, just a way to make a consistant campaign for Risk, and frankly this has it available to play over 15 games. With a regular weekly set of sessions, that makes 15 weeks of an exciting campaign of domination.

However, I don't want to deface my stuff just for the satisfaction of one game. I feel that's ripping myself off for future games. Yes, I can play a normal game of Risk on it by just ignoring the stickers and such, but what I would rather have is another Campaign.

As I said, I like the idea of playing a campaign, but I would rather play multiple campaigns with my friends than just the one, because while the one campaign is cool, more is that little bit better.

I'm going to figure out a better way around keeping that maintained if I get this game.

---

Oh and another thing that I forgot to mention: The game doesn't really provide rules for the Basic Game! So any new players, which amounted to everyone last night except for two of us who weren't really being listened to, were getting really confused through the one rulebook.

---

Risk Legacy was never meant to play Classic Risk on it.
However, if the person is trying to get a count of stars on cards in the current Risk, the answer is: 30 territories have one star, 12 territories have two stars.

The response from the higher ups of Hasbro, which successfully provides me, and anyone else who wants/needs it, the ability to play using star cards rules. I'm going to make a page on this too.

Of Trolls and Talismans

Talisman: The Magical Quest Game, is a Board Game that many a nerd who has played it GROANS at the very mention of it. "It takes so long!" They cry, "It will take us late into the night!" Which is a lie, we started at 6:30 or 7pm and the three of us finished at 9! We being Scotty, Corey, Paul and I.

Last week we pulled out Talisman to play. I'm not sure what edition it is, but I imagine its old since the dust on the cover of the box is so thick that you need to chisel it off. We followed one house rule which was that players chose a random character. The character cards were shuffled and they draw from a random spot, or it's just drawn from the top of the deck.

Last week we drew random cards and came up thusly.

• Medway - Assassin
• Paul - Prophetess
• Corey - Sorceress
• Scott - Priest

I had absolutely horrible luck, with my stuff being stolen by bandits, and being kicked seven ways from sunday from the least likely of all things, the Wild Boar, the Weakest monster in the game. The worst part is that it happened twice. It's more humiliating than Corey who had his arse kicked by the Farmer every time he landed on the Tavern. Every. Time.

This week, we all ran through the character cards and as soon as I saw him, I had to play him. The Troll. He's the strongest character, but he's about as bright as those glow in the dark constellation stickers you put on your ceiling (or want to, if you haven't done so already). Actually, that might be giving him a little bit of credit.

The other special feature of him is that he is always safe in the Crags. Normally, you can get lost or you can fight a terrible spirit that found you, or you can gain a Strength when a Barbarian leads you out, and any of these can happen depending on what you roll on a d6. But not the Troll!

So he's a very VERY straight forward character. Later revisions allowed him to gain a Life if he rolls a 6, but that's unlikely since he isn't interested in anything except "bashing sum wun wiff his stikk".

Which he did. He bashed quite a few things that most others wouldn't have normally bashed, and benefitted from it. The poor fella did draw a Craft 10 Demon, which is impossible for him to beat with his Craft 1... But I had a cross. "So I'z got da kross and smished da demon." Then I immediately doubled my craft.

"I have now found that the reason the apple fell on my head is because the tree is actually attacking me."

I picked up a few different things, one of the biggest things that brought me some of the POWER I held was the Amulet, which meant I couldn't cast spells but I couldn't be targetted by them.

Except for a Witch. Who cursed me and turned me into a Toad. Goddamn witch. So that meant I dropped all my items, including the Amulet, the Cross and the Flask of Water, and all my Gold (I think i was on like 5 at that point) and then I just hopped about just like a toad does. There was a font of Wisdom, luckily, and so I doubled my craft again. A Toad with a Craft of 2 is pretty impressive. Especially when it goes up against a Craft 4 Monster and Ties with it. But when I turned back into a Troll the extra craft didn't roll over, so didn't quadruple my Craft, sadly.

Sidenote - To fight someone, you get the relative stat (Strength or Craft) and roll a d6. If you equal, you tie. If you roll higher, they suffer lose a Life. If you roll lower, you lose a Life.

Now as I mentioned, when you get turned into a Toad you drop all your Gold and Objects on the spot that you get turned into a Toad. So that means it's available for other players to pick up stuff. So during the 3 turns that I am a Toad, my stuff is up for grabs. I'm also easily killable, but nobody was in the habit of trying to kill anyone.

Except me. And I had incentive too. Paul, who was playing the Elf, found a way to sneak over and pick up my stuff by telepoting through Woods Spaces. And when he got there, he convinced the fucking Witch to Pay him to take my stuff of her hands, the greedy bastard . But luckily for me, he hadn't had a good run. He was down to 1 Life, so all I needed to do was conk him on the noggin and that's the end of that. So as a vengeful Troll with about 8 or 9 Strength to his name, he hunted down that Fucking Elf and got back his Objects, his Gold plus Interest (Paul had a significant amount of luck with regards to Gold) and then trundled off satisfied with himself that there was one more squished Elf in the world.

After that, I was a train of havoc going all the way up to the Crown of Command to "Kill da little peeple". It was funny though, I drew the Hermit just before I went into the inner level, and conveniently enough he was on the tile I landed on and he gave me a Talisman to let me get to the Crown of Command.

"Choo Choo! Take Dat, Dwarf! Take Dat, Warrior! I got da Powah!"

Board games and Pandora's Box

I've been getting more and more into board games and of a Tuesday I've been indulging in board games with a couple of the other regulars. Last week was "Wrath of Ashardalon", a D&D board game which worked out pretty well to play, and then last night was "The Order of the Stick Adventure Game".

The Order of the Stick is a parody of the classical Dungeons and Dragons game, following a mismatch band of player characters. The Board game follows one of the first dungeons that the party run through to fight the Boss at the end.

Now you follow through the dungeon and it's pretty cruisy. You explore rooms and attack the monsters that appear, grab the subsequent loot, and then move on. As you go deeper, you fight more monsters per room, based on the floor you're on. So floor 1 is 1 monster. Floor 2 is 2 monsters, etc etc.

Then occasionally there'll be a Leader monster which will increase the size of the monster fight. So instead of one monster, you get 2. Larger fights with bigger pay offs, but more risk. You're only rolling D12's and your friends can either be nice or they can be a complete bastard. I copped that once or twice from Cory.

There's also Support abilities, where if you have a monster of a type listed on the monster card somewhere on the same floor, they gain a special rule or bonus. Such as +2 to defence and attack. Or the Horde Ability.

Horde means that for each monster of the same type on the same floor, you add another monster. So if you have a Goblin Warlock with Horde, and you draw three goblins, you have to add another 3 monsters. And if they're more goblins, you have to draw more monsters per goblin.

We came against the fight for Lord Xykon, who has Horde for Goblins and Undead in his army, and we opened up Pandoras Box. We drew the Kobold King and two of the Goblin Characters, who also have Horde. We also drew about 5 Demon Roaches, who count towards Kobolds, Goblins and Undead. Basically, the battle Exponentialized until we got to 23 and said "Nope. That's it. We're leaving it at that."

After we got through the fight, I sat down and did the calculations. I ran out of cards after taking them from the top of the Battle Deck, and Recycling the discarded battle deck cards.

At least it was Fun! I got to put my Great Cleavage to good use.

Gridlock

Last night we played a hilarious Monsterpocalypse game made up by rules on the spot. The new guy we have playing wanted to play a Four Player game, as there were enough of us playing that night.

So we started making up rules. Monsters only with no units, to start. We figured it would be too easy to play a game where we could just access each other. So we said we had to choose a map littered with buildings. But we also figured there was a problem with figures being able to jump over buildings and get to each other quicker than others.

Doesn't seem particularly fair. So we figured you couldn't move through buildings. They were infinitely high, and infinitely deep and you couldn't jump off or climb them.

Then I piped up with "All Buildings Have NO FLY ZONE". Which does exactly what we wanted. Choosing the map was surprisingly easy.

Earlier on we were talking about a particular map that scotty and I disliked using. He doesn't like it because people could easily disrupt his power base, and he could easily disrupt his opponents. But I remember looking at it ages ago and realised that there's no easy way to move a monster that doesn't have any skills that allow him to move around buildings across the map. So we played Killer Canals.



For those who aren't in the know: The squares with Yellow and Green borders are where you place your buildings. The dotted red and blue borders are where monsters are placed. The rest isn't important. Those are for units.

As an added silliness, we included Mega Armodax into the mix who has a ranged attack which will randomly shoot someone and shunt figures into nearby fires and buildings. we had a few reasons why he was present, my favourite was that he was strapped to an orbiting satellite and he's roaring down angrily at everyone on the map.

We also put the Privateer Press Building in the middle of the map covering 9 squares instead of 4 because the map is an odd number of sides. Since it's indestructable, and that Armodax strapped to a satellite was a bit too silly (pfft, whatever) we put Armodax on top of the building. And we can stop him from attacking next turn by attacking the PP Building. But in turn, for each building that was destroyed outside of his turn, he gained a Power Die. That was probably a bit excessive, but it was funny none the less. It added Tactics, according to Scotty.

So we had a Lord of Cthul, a Planet eater, a Guard Robot and a Shadow Sun Syndicate Ninja, being shot at by an angry Anklosaurus on a building. I think out of the large number of foundations we had, there was 1 building left not including the PP Building.

It was a good game and we may play it again.

Monpoc Irk

Monday morning I get a call from my LGS asking me to come in Tuesday Night for a Demo Game of Monsterpocalypse. Sounds good, I say. I haven't played Monpoc in quite a long time, but I'm keen to start up again. Just not against Scott.

So I rocked up there, and met the bloke. He was keen to learn and he was happy to have many things taught to him, such as explaining how rules fully interact, and I was prepared to give him that.

Now I'm a lazy person. I also have a large collection of Monpoc Stuff. So the idea of having to carry my stuff to work and then to the LGS is a trustrating one. There's at least two green bags involved in the delivery going to the only place I play it at.

So I put up the suggestion to the owner a long time ago, “Can I leave my Monpoc here? In return you can use it for the Free For All games days that I can't attend.” “Sure thing” he said. We all win, really. I don't have to cart about all my Monpoc stuff and he gets a chance to introduce more people to it.

The other day however, the store was shifted about. Stuff that he didn't need was thrown away. But the owner made sure that what didn't belong to him, namely my Monpoc, was stored away so that it could be found. The Owner isn't a dull lad, he knows his responsibilities.

But come last night, I pull out my Monpoc stuff and even tip it out of the Greenbag and look at it before thinking “... I'm missing something.”

I looked out across the vast field of green, purple, grey and tan plastic monstrosities, only to find I'm missing something just as crucial as the monsters: Units. A small white box, with the Privateer Press Stamp on the front, filled almost to the Brim with Monsterpocalypse Units. Of Tentacled Slugs, of Drill-nosed Brawlers, of Subterran Tanks and Lovecraft-ian Flyers.

Nowhere to be found.

And it's been irking me ever since. Not at the LGS owner, he was looking after them as best he can which was leaving them where they were and putting them in a safe place when he had to move them. He was extremely apologetic as well and offered to replace everything once I figure out how much it all cost, and I'm going to try and work something out with him regarding his Monpoc Stock as well.

No, what I'm annoyed at is that it's gone. All that collecting is just gone. Now, when I wanted to get back into Monpoc, I can't play using my units. I have everything else, but I just don't have any units.

On top of that, my Voltron Box is gone too. Though I think I may have that at home. I'm going to have to check on that one.

Still. Annoying. Especially when it's possible that someone may have tossed it thinking it was something else, or someone may have thought they deserved a five finger discount. I'll give em five fingers alright.

Board Games

Collaborating with other Companies is not unfamiliar for Game Developers. Tokens and Measuring tapes are very popular. Games Cases are magnificent things to pick up, and the case I have for my Warmachine stuff is the best investment that I never made (Friend bought it for me). I'm even considering getting an expansion bay to pack some of my other games.

While browsing the Mercs Minis forums, the developers announced products for their game. A game Bag developed by Battle Foam, the same guys who made the Warmachine/Hordes Case, and Tokens and 2D game maps by Gale Force 9. Made of Super Durable, Wet Erasable, Full Color Vinyl, the single sided maps look absolutely fantastic.

I had an Epiphany though.

I thought back to board games, which had thick cardboard with similar Vinyl stuck on over the top. Then the cardboard would fold over a few times in a particular pattern very nicely to fit back into the box without a complaint.

I've seen it happen a few times, not just into halves, but into Quarters. And I bet, if done right, one could fold them up into sixths. Which would be convenient for Mercs because their boards are 2x3 feet. Easy to pack, and you can make it double sided so instead of selling two individual maps you can sell one map with individual sides.

That's one thing one could say that Monsterpocalypse got right. They got double sided maps, with different maps each side, but they aren't cardboard. I think they're probably the same material as the Mercs Maps.

But that's just my opinion though. Packaged like a Board Game would be cool and would make travelling a little easier.

Lets make the Quantum Leap

So it's almost been a year and I've been pretty slack here. But keeping with a (mostly) Fiendish theme, and pretty much nothing happening with Monsterpocalyse until recently, I just haven't had anything to blather on about until now.

What I assume, to catch up with the times they're releasing Quantum Figures! One of whom is our very own Poster Child: Cthugrosh. I would have left this article until there was a Quantum Mechathugrosh, but I don't know how long I'd be waiting for it. And I'd have to think of a vaguely disturbing title too.

Now the way Quantum figures work is interesting. Along your stat bar you have stats highlighted in Red. This doesn't mean that the stat is shared to figures adjacent to you - Can you Imagine a Spitter with 7*1 Brawl attack? - What it does mean is that you increase those stats by your Hyper Cost.

That's pretty sweet. You get a bonus to whatever stats are highlighted and you can take names AND chew bubblegum! Cos with stats like these, who would stop you? Quantum Cthugrosh has a stat bar that is almost completely Red. Sweet! 6 Move is pretty good; 5 Defence is not too bad considering he still has 6 health; 7*2 Brawl? An extra Boost die certainly doesn't hurt at all; Same goes for his 5*1 Blast Attack, and his 6*2 Power Attack.

Now his Range is a special case. He starts off at Short range, so 2-3 spaces away from him. That's a pretty short attack. But any long time player of the Lords of Cthul will know that there should always be an Elite Spitter nearby. Or any general player will know to field a Radar Array. So that'll extend it to long range, making it 2-5 spaces away. Quantum then extends the range by the number of spaces equal to the Hyper Stat! Sweet!

So pretty much, his stat line does not change from his Alpha form. Now lets look at his hyper stat! Drum Roll please, Trumpets, streamers and confetti cascade around a small podium with a Khadoran Anvil with a number in the middle, and that number is... 1! Woo! We're Number One! We're Number One! We're Number...

Wait a minute. One? Okay, okay. So the stat increases aren't significant, except in the case of boost die. Any Boost Die are good Boost Die, as I always say. But there's one other condition that I haven't mentioned yet. And that's how to keep the Quantum Effect Active.

You would think that if you had stats that were increased by the hyper stat, you would just make it a permanent thing, and just get rid of these Red highlights. No, the purpose of the Red Highlights is that you gain the benefits to X Stat on the condition that you have more than 5 Power Dice in your pool.

So while it's not a significant effect the Quantum is applying, it can still change the way you play when you're at full P-die whether it's to conserve your P-die by using that extra B-die or A-die to your attacks, or to make a massive attack. But in saying that, a cost of 1 for going into hyper? It's unheard of!

Speaking of attacks, lets see what Quantum Cthugrosh has on offer ability-wise. He has his regular features for a hyper form, Flight and Terrify. Not bad abilities, with their own drawbacks. Though I don't think Terrify has a drawback. Flight certainly does, because factions like GUARD have a massive prejudice against Figures with Flight. So that's probably why his other forms have Jump, because he learnt his lesson before. Hmm...

His last skill is Reach, the ability to attack something 2 squares away. Experience with this ability has never failed me. There have been moments I put myself adjacent to a figure, but the options that Reach presents can change the game. The best part though? It's Blue.

So all figures in your army gain the ability to not only attack something from 2 spaces away, but also figures with Flight. So while Spitters don't have any use for it, figures like the Task master, the Tanglix, the Snatcher, even the Mollok Brutes and Berserkers, can take advantage of it. The number of times I've been one space away from being within range sometimes frustrates me. So now I get to Frustrate my opponent by being that one space within Reach.

Back to the Principal of Fiend High, we look at his Attacks. So Alpha Cthugrosh has a habit of multiplying his units. He'd just spend an action die and place a unit next to himself. It was a great Army producer and given a few turns, you'd outnumber your opponent in no time.

His Blast Attack would help too. Fling targets a unit and chucks it 5 squares into another figure. That makes for a potential range of about 10 squares for a Blast Attack.

That's better than Mogroth! Funny that.

But Quantum Cthugrosh deviates from the Norm. He still remains a Blastard, but he doesn't Fling anyone. He definitely doesn't make anyone Overload. He has taken lessons in Evolution at the Tower of Corruption College, and learnt Transmutation.

Now I've talked about Transmutation before with the Tower of Corruption. You shoot an enemy unit and replace it with one of your own units so long as it can legally be placed there. It takes up the Summon action from Alpha Cthugrosh and combines it with his Blast Attack!

That's not enough though. Alpha Cthugrosh usually Summons and makes an attack, two actions in one turn. That sort of thing should not be abolished, else the figure would be unappealing. So that's why the lucky bugger has Blitz.

Blitz: Once each turn, advance this figure up to 2 spaces even if it has advanced this turn. You can roll another attack of the same type against a different target with Dice in play.

So two attacks, both of which Transmutate enemy units into friendly units.

So double the Firepower. Double the Unit Generation. And then add another third to his Movement. This guy is working all on the up and up. So where does he faulter? Well, aside from the downside of having the same stat line as Alpha Cthugrosh until he gets more than 5 P-die, he doesn't do much else. His 5 skills and triggers are all he has. No Actions, No Reactions, No Advantages. That's all she wrote.

Gameplay wise, he's still as good as Alpha Cthugrosh. He moves, he blasts, he brings out a new unit, and then uses his second attack to either Shoot a Monster, or Transmutate another unit. As the old saying goes, “The More the Merrier!”

Gears of War Board game

[link]

I like Gears of War. The game is fun, and the story is fantastic. And to have a Board Game based on it is just too cool.

There's about 30 figures in the set, so that's a bunch of Locust and a handful of player characters. I hope there's a Carmine in there. Then again, he'll die so quickly.

If I got Aaron into playing it, then he'll run up to every enemy and try to chainsaw them in half.

Judging from the setup, I'm imagining that the game plays much like the D&D Board Games. You have a set of square tiles with various designs on them which the players pull out and place at random to create your ever growing map. With each tile placed, place down Locust determined by a deck of monster cards. As you kill each locust you gain a reward based on the rewards deck of cards.

Then depending on the scenario, particularly designed tiles are set within the randomly organised pile. So you will reach your destination, but at a randomly determined time. With each character having their own special abilities, it can either extend or reduce the time it takes, or change how easily they kill something, or how the enemy can retaliate.

It looks fun and I'm pretty excited about it. Though I still need to play the D&D board games with the fellas...

"MAKE WAY FOR DA DEFFROLLA!"

So I had a long hard thought about what to do about a Promobike. I couldn't figure it out. Though I got the idea from it, I didn't like the idea of a Motorbike with a trolley on the back. Not even a pushbike looked cool.

I thought about using the standard 40k Ork bikes, but didn't see much room to 'advertise'. If I covered up the sides, or put something over the top, it would look pretty weird. More like a float than anything else. Or a boat. That could float...

I thought about Sand Surfer, you know the surf boards with sails but given a set of wheels so they can just go across sand? Yeah, but it just didn't make... sense.

What about a Buggy? Okay, probably a bit better, but where do I advertise? Maybe make him like a Sprint Car, and give him room to advertise there.

Then today, I thought about these fan factor models and said to myself “These guys could be honorary members of the team. Especially the Squiggoth. He'd be #17.”

Somehow my mind rolled over to the thought of a team member actually Dying, and subbing in the player with an honorary member. Such as the Squiggoth.

“What about the bike?” I said to myself. “How would we play him?”
“Well,” I responded “We'd just play him as if he had a Deathroller.”

Then it struck me. A deathroller bike? That'd be AWESOME! Make it a giant Blood Ball with extra spikes, put a sweet engine on the back and maybe the Sprint Car roof on top and Bob's your uncle.

It'd be pretty hard to put on a 25mm base, but I'll give it a go. I'd probably have to make it like a Monocycle in that case.

"WAAAGH IF YA HORNY" or How to build Fan Factor

First thing I thought of when I got home was “How will I mount a Scoreboard onto this Sucker?” Naturally it'll be on a Howdah just behind the drivers seat. And I'd make it a scorecard sort and have Orks behind it changing the cards to keep track.

Next is where will I put the Promokopta? I'd have to give it somewhere to park while it's not being used. How about on the Squiggoth? The main howdah is for people to travel in, so why not build a landing pad on top of it? Instead of having a H in a circle, do the Ork Blood Bowl team logo.

Otherwise, paint the side of the Howdah with the Blood Bowl Logo and “SKARBOYZ BIGGIST FAN” on the other. Up the back, an Ork Yelling out behind and holding a banner saying “WAAAGH IF YA HORNY!”

The Promokopta is going to be mostly custom made. I have a Garlic and Horseradish tablet bottle. Turn it on it's side, add Helicopter Rotors and skis, use the open top as a Jet engine, add a cockpit to the front (bottom of bottle) and if I want twinlink Rokkit Launchers, I have a pair of PS2-USB adaptors.

If I were talented enough, I'd open up the sides of the bottle to make extended platforms for Orks to sit/shoot from. The Rokkit launchers would have to be filled with actual rockets, so I'm thinking having one filled to the brim with rockets, and the other firing a piglet. Kel gave me that idea when we saw the Farrow Razorback, a rocket launcher held by pig men. I reckon it'd be awesome for the commentators.

“The crowd goes into a frenzy and pours into the pitch! What's this? The Kopta is getting into it too and... He's porked some poor sod in the head with a flying piglet!”

"Skarboyz Biggest Fan"

So I've wanted to make Ork Vehicles for ages. Nothing too significant, something small and entertaining. I already have an old Space Marine or Imperial Guard Tank sitting about waiting to get Looted.

But it came to me in a flash of lightning. How the hell do teams get across the country? By Tour Bus. What's better than a Tour Bus? A Tour Squiggoth. And what do I have? A Squiggoth!


To boot, when the thought hit me, the image in my head had a little helicopter in the background with one of those streaming banners with “Blood Bowl” trailing behind. So Why not make a mobile of a Deffkotpa with a trailing banner?

I also keep seeing those scooters with trailers on the back with advertisements on them. So an Orc bike with a Blood Bowl Trailer? Game on!

Yes I know that they're both the wrong time period, but you know what? It's cool! I could scrounge up a few bits and bobs from Aarons old Orks bits, like his Trukks and whatnot and maybe buy a box or two of Deffkoptas from the GW shop and convert one of the Deffkoptas into a bike! Or just buy an Ork Bike, but that wouldn't be as cool.

That'd give me an excuse to make a Squiggoth Side Car with a Bike Slingshot, and a landing pad on top of the howdah.

And it's all Justified as Fan Factor.

Model Delivery

So I received my Bloodbowl team in the mail. The poor bag got wet and the packaging was falling apart in Adams hands as he handed it to me, but luckily the pewter was fine in their own plastic sealed bags.

Twelve models, with the only two doubles being my linemen, sit in front of me wanting to be cleared of flash. And they're not little bits of flash either, they're actually kinda chunky.

But they're here and they're ready. I've figured out a few names for them too. Few'shor O'brikk'hows is going to be my Fat Ork Blocker, Galgutz Eat'ch'ya is going to be the mucleclad Black Orc Runner. I call him a Black Orc Runner because the name comes from the Video game which Automatically generates names. And Galgutz, through his Career, has scored about 7 touchdowns before I upgraded to the Legendary Edition (And pretty much lost that team).

I also had Dubb'lin and Glaz'gow Eddbutz, the Blitzer brothers, and I figured the easiest way to tell them apart was to paint their faces in their respective countries flags (Green, white, Gold vertical stripes; blue with white cross). The two figures I've picked both look similar, and the other two don't look like them at all. One is raising his arm as if to catch something, and the other has a pair of sharp implements on.

All in all, it's a good day for Bloodbowl and in celebration I think I'm going to try and play that Dwarf Team again.

Fkn Deathroller with a ST of 7.

Blood Bowl - Of Teamwork and Cheerleaders

So I've been playing Blood Bowl on the computer for almost a week now, and I think I'm figuring out Orcs. I think.

I've been fairly lucky too in most cases, though playing the campaign has limited my opponents to about 3 or 4 teams. Goblins are easy. The funny thing about them is that if anything actually hits them, they either get knocked out or suffer damage. Though I do have to watch out for the little bugger with the ball and chain. Bastard Hurts.

But they're fairly easy. Block them with two or more dudes and they'll be down or out, or better yet Dead, and then just get a Blitzer to bolt across the field. Tie up anyone who could catch up to him, and hope that they get knocked down leaving the tackle zone.

The team that it doesn't work on 9/10 times is fkn Wood Elves. They fkn dance about your players and they have enough speed to be able to do a passing game really well. Which is really annoying, but I think I figured out how to get around them. It's crude, but get a cage set up around the ball and just let a Blitzer fly up around the side. The elves will eventually regret it as the computer tends to prioritize the ball.

The last team is the Chaos Team. They like to play a cage game, which isn't too much of a hassle. I can slow down the cage with no worries. If I get the ball, then game on. Pass it across the field to a stray Blitzer and... well Blitz the finish line. The Chaos team are as quick as Orcs so they can't catch up with someone across the field easily.

Now I've mentioned Blitzers a few times in this, and thats because they're Freaking Awesome. To boot, one of my Blitzers has levelled up twice and he got a point of strength and I gave him Break Tackle, where he uses his strength instead of Agility when moving out of tackle zones. That's fkn nice.

On top of that, my Black Orc Blocker levelled up from smacking the crap out of everyone he was in front of, so I gave him Block. Cos that's what you do, give a guy who's role is to Block people the Block Skill. Just to add insult to injury.

So far that's what I've faced, though I have plenty of work ahead of me.

The one thing that really bugs me about the game is that the teams I began facing weren't on the same par as me. They had earnt their own special abilities each, but I guess that's how it works.

The worst part is that I'm playing it on easy. And it's not an easy game, though once you figure it out, the computer can be exploited. Eventually if the League with the Lads starts up, I'll have a hard fight ahead of me.

One thing I really like about the Video game is that the models for the Orcs look Awesome. I'd take those models if they looked like that. The ones that are in the GeeDubb gallery look a little lame. And the Cheerleader is just terrifying. She's one of those girls who wears a skirt, and only a skirt, to work, and only if you're lucky. Otherwise, she spends her time practising seaknots with herself.

*Shudder*

That's one thing the game has got right. If there's a monsterous team that have an unsettling cheerleader squad, then they give them something more appropriate. For Orcs, it's a bunch of male Orcs wearing robes and banging drums.

So that makes me think of a cool cheerleader squad of a Band playing various instruments, like one fellow screaming out while waving a noisemaker around. It's not a Cheerleader Squad, but damnit it's easy on the eyes.

That's one thing I forgot to mention. I changed my team a bit. Now there's 5 Lineorks, 1 Thrower, 1 Black Orc and 4 Blitzers. Then after a few games, I had money to buy another Lineork just to cover an injury or a send off.

So that's Blood Bowl for me. Now to actually get the figures and paint em up. After that, might do a Nordic Team. And after that, with two Trolls in hand, I'll make a Goblin Team.

For Trolls, I don't want to use the standard GW ones. I want to use Warmachine Trolls. Troll Bomber for one, just drop the kegs. Or maybe one of the elemental trolls?

Hmm... Nordic Team made up of Doomreavers and Nihilators. That'll be fun.

Something I think I may be doing wrong with my Team is that I'm raising my value too high? Other teams are getting more inducements, whereas I'm getting nothing. I wouldn't mind bribing the ref more often. I'm already at max cheerleaders, my fan factor was 9 from the start (though it's dropped down to 8 after losing a few games) and I have my own apothecary. I'm just gonna start hoarding my money now and only buy a new player on occasion.

---

Hello. I think I found myself some Miniatures.

---

And on top of that, after playing the Video game for 2 hours, I got my Black Orc to make three touchdowns. Good stuff.

Foot-the-ball

I'm a fan of Terry Pratchett, and recently I have been reading Unseen Academicals. The story is about the wizards of the Unseen University having to play the Poor Boys Fun, or Football. Because Terry is a Pom, he's meaning Soccer. And because I don't like using the word Football, I use their alternative names.

Rugby, Aussie Rules, Gridiron, Soccer, etc etc etc. That's just my thing to prevent confusion. Just don't use the word Football.

Anyway, I had an epiphany last night which had nothing to do with Unseen Academicals at first, but blossomed into it.

I was looking at Bloodbowl last night, the Fantasy Gridiron Board Game. I want to do Orcs because... well I like Orcs. I want to make a team because of 2 reasons. 1: Because some of my mates really like Bloodbowl, and 2: Because it's funny.

Then I thought I should make a Human team, a fairly even sort of team that one can make in Bloodbowl.

Now I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

So a Bloodbowl Team of Wizards. Conveniently enough, there are some Discworld Figures that one can purchase to add to the team, like Rincewind who would be a Catcher because he can run, but fingers crossed in the right direction. Should just put a potato at the goal area.

I'm not sure how many other Wizard Figures there are, but chances are there's Ridcully in there. I know that the Librarian is available, and he just HAS to be in the game. He can take the role of Ogre because he's as strong as one.

Cheerleaders I'd like to say are the Witches, but all I see are Granny Weatherwax looking on disapprovingly with her Pom Poms on the floor, and Nanny Ogg dancing on a table singing the hedgehog song.

The Apothecary HAS to be Ironic so it's a position given to Death.

I can't think of anyone else off the top of my head, so I'll leave it at that for characters. But modelwise, there's a few funny ones I can think of.

Blitzers or Blockers would be Wizards with the biggest guts, big round bellys . One of the catchers would be a take from the Female Human Uncertain Receiver, but instead of opening his top he'll just lift his robe to make a net.

That's my idea for a Male Human Bloodbowl team. Once I get the details down, I'll probably look into it and then see how far the Unseen Academicals can get.

-----

I damn Blarkon for giving me the idea for "Shirtless Chaos" - a Chaos Bloodbowl team that is made up of Warmachine Figures. Doomreaver Linemen and Nihilator Blitzers. I don't know what else to use, because there's nothing else that's really shirtless, but damn this is fkn ridiculous.