Gaming for Charity

About 18 months ago, an event called Gencon Oz appeared on my social radar, an event where neck-bearded gamers and hot little cosplayers attended to enjoy the fun and excitement of social gaming and nerdly eccentricities.

I attended in excitement, planning to wage Warmachine (haha, you see what I did there?) across the two days of B.O. and Geekly Pop Culture jokes.

Quite a few people attended, many of whom I enjoy seeing to this day, and I have made plans to attend again this year.

One particular fellow stood himself out a little bit earlier.  His name is Spenny, and he Games for Charity.  Well, his name isn't actually Spenny, but it's what I work with.
His foundation of choice is Heartkids, a group devoted to research into Congenital Heart Disease, an affliction his daughter was unfortunate enough to recieve.  So last year he made an offer to some friends and a few of the guys attending to make donations depending on his play.
25c per victory point; $5 per state resident/pressganger he defeated; $5 for placing best in faction or in the top 4.
Throughout the weekend he was also recieving random donations of $20 or more, gifted to him for being such a good sport.
Overall he made about $800 (Is that right?) and donated it very proudly to the foundation.
Since then, he has kept it up with the large events that he has made attendance and earnt quite a bit for the charity over the past year and a half.

This year, Gencon Oz is turning up again and with his attendance, he has started up the charity run again.
I've opted in for the 25c per victory again, because frankly I'm a bit of a stinge, but I've also roped in my workmates.  I sent the email around describing his ventures and how the setup works and recieved emails asking how it works because I apparently didn't make sense, or asking if they have to attend or play themselves, (And one asking if this was actually from me and not forwarded on) but eventually when everything was made clear about a half dozen people have said they would donate, half of whom have declared flat donations, and the remainder making pledges based on his play.

So that's what I'm doing for Gencon Oz for Spenny.

As for playing myself, well... I haven't done anything since the night at Kel's.  So I'm bringing my stuff to work on monday and painting during lunch!
It'll be good.  Just have to get my arse into gear.

It's Leech! Not Leach!

Leeches are well known for sucking the lifeblood from their victims, eventually bloating and detaching, leaving a anticoagulant that prevents the wound from healing properly unless treated.

Leach appears as an "Advantage" in Monsterpocalypse. "If a unit hits a monster with an attack, restore +1 health to this monster".
In another post I mentioned how confronting this ability is to its opponents with Yasheth, a monster who lives entirely on Vampiric Tendencies.
In the current expansion, All Your Base, the ability has expanded onto two more monsters: Mega Ancient Osheroth and Mega Vorgax.

Yasheth and Mega Ancient Osheroth both have differing playstyles. Yasheth is a Brawler and has Vampirism on his Brawl so he doesn't waste his time spending a-die on removing a unit from play, but spends it toward beating a monsters defence.
Mega Ancient Osheroth becomes a Blaster and trades his Sacrifice Action for Leach. An interesting trade. From Annihilate and Radial Attack to Multishot and Feeding Frenzy.
Its quite a change.
Now he can waddle around within his own units and survive by denying contact, while his units run up and attack the opponents monster and restoring any health taken away by said opponent. And if the units are set correctly, retaliation by monster will result in Super damage.

But he can no longer heal during his own turn. Is that important?
A very different ball game for Ancient Osheroth, for sure. But not a very big change. In my experience, most monsters seem to take a massive hit when first blood is drawn. Most monsters are placed on the back foot because of it. Healing for one damage doesn't change the end result. Granted, Ancient Osheroth has 6 health, but in personal experience it hasn't made that much of a difference. So no, it isn't that important.
However, having traded for Leach is. With Leach, it is two damage restored most unit turns. One for a meat slave and another for a slug salvo. It restores two health for the turn you expect to be dangerous with no loss of units.

Now to derail from the usual propaganda of "Cthul is awesome", I want to have a quick word about Vorgax on behalf of a friend of mine, Richard.
He's not convinced that Vorgax is any good on his Ultra form. However, he has been playing a uphill battle against me as I continually beat-back him into something that causes alot more damage than he'd like to suffer (Such as his own Harbinger Comet Shards).
So he sent off the box-tops for Mega Vorgax, originally for the sake of collection.
Only the other day have we found out what Mega Vorgax actually does. And I haven't told him yet.
Unless Scoot has already told him. Or he has been checking the forums.
I aim to think of ways to help Richard become extremely aggrivating through this post.
To begin, lets consider his style of play. His list of abilities are Thusly

Leach (Advantage): If a friendly agenda unit hits a monster, restore +1 health to this monster.
Lightning Attack (Brawl): Make another attack using the dice in play.
Flight (Skill)
Fission (Action): Move two action dice into your monster pool.

For Planet eaters, they don't have many actions available. In their unit phase they have Attraction from the Harbinger Comet Shards, and actions from the Monument Buildings and Privateer Press Building (R&D, Beacon, Business Centre, etc).
The only monster with Actions available to Planet Eaters is Vorgax and his Morphers.
His morphers have Summon, and I'm yet to find someone who has a problem with Summon. Because they're morphers, he can place a unit somewhere to keep a building secure while he runs off to brawl one or two things. Heck, brawl a monster then brawl a building.
Or even surround a monster, place a chomper between them and make a couple of brawl attacks, dealing Super damage each time. Nice.
As for Mega Vorgax he has a Dice Efficient Action, where you effectively gain an action die for nothing. So if he rolls one action die for his power up roll and fails it's not a waste since he can gain that back.

We move onto the subject of Lightning Attack. It's a simple trigger: re-roll the same dice as if you made another attack. It's on his Brawl, which is useful since it's useless on a Power Attack and he no longer has a Blast attack.
Because of this, I consider him to have a similar playstyle to Yasheth, only with more damage output than healing.

We will Ignore Flight. Everyone and their second cousins have Flight.

Lastly is Leach, the spark that engulfed this topic with flames.
I'd like to point out that this is the only Monster within Planet Eaters that has the ability to Heal. The rest work from Endurance.
With the way Leach works, an opponent monster must be hit with units of the same agenda. So lets consider their units.

• Belchers are the first unit that come to mind. Long range and not bad blast stats give good reason for fielding them. Radar adds an additional two spaces giving them Extra Long Range.
  The only place they fall short is with Boost Die. Leadership bonus puts them at 1 B-die each. So to add onto this, they can secure a Bank Headquarters and take advantage of "High Security" to add another B-die to each unit. With three Belchers, that giving use of 3-6 A-die and 6 B-die, making anywhere between 58-84% chance of hitting a Defence 7 Monster.
• Scorchers are the same deal but trade long range for high speed and maneuverability. However, I stand that the Belchers do the job better due to not having to move and can use those action dice to boost their attacks.
• Explodohawks are a very good choice, with their high brawl stat they have a good chance to hit someone and as history has shown us, they usually hit out of Spite.
• Chompers, Constrictors and Destructomites have the same problem that most brawlers have: Reaching their targets.
  Destructomites and Constrictors have the speed and all terrain/burrow to reach targets with relative ease, and Flank and Penetrator to help with their attack, however lack much boost die and nothing else to help with adding more without adding a second monster. So with three Destructomites, they have 3-9 A-die and 3 boost die, ranging a ~27-88% chance of hitting Defence 6. Considering that most of the dice in a pool will be used for advancing I see that percentile ranging in the lower end when the chance arrives.
  Chompers are where all the boost die are at for a massive attack. The downside is their lack of manuverability and speed. With an average speed of 5 and nothing to ignore rough terrain or buildings, they have can't reach their target very easily.
  However, if they all reach a monster the chance to hit is ~54-84% using 3-6 A-die and 6 B-die.
• Explodomites are a good choice as well. Being cheap, manuverable with average speed and a good brawl stat, they make good choices for brawlers regardless of their self destruction (which only accounts for the lead figure, I might add). So attacks from 3 Explodomites range from 3-9 A-die and 6 B-die give a percentile of ~54-95% against Defence 7.
  With no Elites of their kind, they may be able to take advantage of a nearby Harbinger Comet Shard and add another B-die to their attacks and saving action die for the attack itself.

So there are plenty of ways to deal a point of damage to benefit from Leach when fighting a Def 7 Monster. Mixing and matching is a good choice too.
Spawn 1 Destructomite, 1 Elite Constrictor and 1 Explodohawk. 4 A-die.
Advance all three into position, putting the monster into Flank range. 3 A-die.
One attack of 3 A-die, 3 B-die against a Defence 5 figure? ~49% chance to hit.

So there's my Theory-pocalypse for Vorgax and Leach. Some of the Maths may be a little off, but Brain Storming can be taxing on the mind.
Now all Richard has to watch out for is being thrown into buildings.

The Crotch of it all

Thats right ladies and gentlemen. This is a post for one of the Lords of Cthul's most useful units: The Meat Slave.
These rolling testicles of tenacity are capable of some of the most aggravating feats of Cthul playstyle through simple denial, respectively from each of their special abilities.
The first on the list is

Incubator - if this unit is hit, crush it and replace it with a faction unit without Incubator from your reserves.

Anything from the Lords of Cthul you can fill in its place, simply for the sake of denial. A taskmaster is a prime choice. With its high defence removal from a prime position, such as a power zone, is made harder. Making things harder again would be a figure with cloak, requiring figures to get closer.

If you're ready to make an assault on your next unit phase, replace it with anything from a corruptor to a Cthulubite and mangle your opponents units, or even monster.
The best part of it all is that you brought a figure out, a possibly expensive figure too, for nothing. That is fantastic in anyones eyes.

The next ability on this miniature Mr Creosote is the action:

Bleed - restore one heath to an adjacent monster then crush this figure.

This is half the source of endurance to a Lord of Cthul.
The other half is the abilities on the monster itself.

• Cthugrosh and Ancient Osheroth both have Sacrifice.
• Ancient Osheroth's Morpher form and Yasheth have Vampirism.
• Yasheth also has Leech.
• Ulgoth and Mogroth are the only ones that lack self preservation abilities. Mind you, Ulgoth doesn't really need it.

The ability to restore health is invaluable in a faction.
There are only two factions that cannot heal: Shadow Sun Syndicate and Planet Eaters.
Terrasaurs eat apartment buildings.
Martians eat Nuclear Power plants.
Guard have a repair vehicle, which is also employed by Tyrranix's Morpher form (Since Trucks need fixing sometimes too).
This is one of the things that makes Lords of Cthul unique: the ability to take whatever and then come out with more, if not the same, amount of health as he went in with. The Meat Slave delivers this in a small, rotund and fleshy sack of goo and it would be a waste to see it missing from any list.

Tactics!
Securing Buildings and holding Zones is a huge part of the game, but sometimes your opponent will get in your face and eliminate your units before you have your first Power Up roll.
Meat slaves can take these roles with some tenacious results. Utilizing their Incubator ability, any attack made against them will be countered into your favour.
Taskmasters, Corruptors and Tanglix make a prime choice for holding their positions with their average to high defence, and then cover if they are Securing Buildings, a second assault requires more in the attack than before.

Tanglix, Spitters, Snatchers, Squix and Cthulubites are good choices for a Retaliation. Tanglix and Spitters as they can continue to hold the point while retaliating with their Blast attacks. Squix and Cthulubites to return fire with their blast attacks as well, however with flight they won't be holding any zones except for the sake of denial. Snatchers are good for a running assault, when you can benefit more from disrupting their units than holding the point or building.

If any shadow units are available, feel free to place them as well. Because they're brought in for free, Shadow Taskmasters are a good choice as they can hold the point without a problem but Tanglix or Snatchers are better for the retaliation.

The other 'tactic' I can think of isn't so much a tactic as something to consider. Because meat slaves suffer from low speed, getting them in to use Bleed is a somewhat difficult.
If you're playing a monster that relies on getting into an opposing monsters face, try to consider your spawn points or even teleporters on the map so that you know you can get your Meat Slaves adjacent to you. If you need some help with movement, place a Taskmaster next to the spawn point to take advantage of Motivator and make sure you're securing an Oil Refinery to have the impregnated sacks move six spaces across the field.

Some monsters don't need to worry about this, however. Mega Cthugrosh and Mogroth are both good blasters and tend to stay back from the fight. In turn, they stand among their secured buildings and Meatslaves surrounding them. Unless the opposing monster has beatback, they remain rather secure and healthy.

Well that's where I stand with the Meatslave. As mentioned, it would be an utter shame to see a list without one.

The Salivating Slug Squad

Since the beginning of the game, units have been made special in their own little ways.
Even the Carnidon, who is special in a Short Bus way.

Today I would like to speak of an interesting unit of the Lords of Cthul: The Spitter.
At first glance, it's a bit of a crap unit.
Short Range Blast with 1 A-die and 1 B-die, so they won't exactly be killing much except those with low Def scores and have managed to put themselves into range.
And they won't be securing much either, as with low Spd and Def scores they will be taken out before the have a chance to get into good positions unless your opponent is playing conservatively.
They also have a special action: Extinguish - Flip an adjacent hazard tile to a rubble tile.
This is cool. It saves your monsters from a lot of damage in the long run as hazards are a massive game motivator in the long term game.
To save your monster some health by destroying a building which you can get to, have one adjacent to it and when the building is destroyed, remove the hazard it creates. Completely eliminates a threat.

But these are the Grunts. The Elite is where it is at.
Adding to their list of abilties is Officer, a regular feature of most Elite figures. This gives an additional B-die to their version of Grunts within 2 spaces, sending Grunt Spitters to 2 B-die on their blast attacks making them rather formidable.
The Elite also has, and this is the kicker, Red Radar.
For those who are unaware, a Red ability gives the same ability to adjacent figures of the same Agenda.
Radar gives blast attacks an additional two spaces to their Range, turning those short range blasters to long range, and long range into extra long range.
This works well with the majority of figures across the board.

• Elite Spitters that have surged ahead on the board can't recieve many Spitter reinforcements. Squix, however, can easily fly ahead and catch up. With a semi decent blast attack on Squix, they can help eliminate units within their newly established Blast Range.
• Tanglix are slightly better at Blasting than Squix, however don't have the same maneuverability. But flaunt them if you have them. An extra A-die or two never hurt.
• Cthulubites recieve the best benefit from this. Not only are they as good at Blasting as Tanglix and have the same maneuverability as Squix, they also have Multishot which bases itself around the figures current range. With Cthulubites leading a combined attack with Spitters, enemy units within five spaces of said Cthulubite should be worried.
• The Tower of Corruption benefits easily by using its Summon Ability to bring an Elite Spitter into play for 1 and then Blasting off at a unit with a maximum of 4 A-die and 3 B-die only to turn the target into another unit!

But that's not all. Monsters can also take advantage of this nifty salivating slug!

• Ultra Ancient Osheroth and Ultra Ulgoth take advantage of Radar with their blast attacks. Since both of them have Annihilate their attacks will deal 2 points of damage, unless the target has an Immunity to Super Damage. If the target is on their last legs, there's little they can do to save themselves!
• Mega Mogroth adores the Radar. Given an extra long range he can Blast something from 7 Spaces, halfway across the board, to Beat-back them into a building!
• Cthugrosh likes Radar to really aggitate an enemy from 10 spaces away with his Blast trigger Fling. With Radar on Cthugrosh, he can blast up to Five spaces away. Fling triggers on a unit and tosses the figure into a monster another five spaces away! And with his Mega form, he can deal super damage against the target with the Overload ability!
• I'm using Exclamation marks much more than expected!!1ELEVENTY!!

Yasheth recieves the most aggitating benefit from Spitters, however. Before anyone picks up on it, I'll clarify that Yasheth does not have a Blast attack. The Blast is missing. He has a blank space where a Blast should be. So he cannot Blast someone with some Blasty eyebeam that can Blast something to Blastereens.
But he does have:

Leech - When a friendly faction unit hits a monster with an attack, restore 1 health to this monster.

If it wasn't bad enough that he heals from Meat Slaves and with his Vampirism Brawl Trigger, he heals from his units shooting a monster! A semi-prepared unit turn can restore 2 health to Yasheth during his turn. An Elite Spitter, two Grunts and a Meat Slave spends your entire unit turn frustrating your opponent, simply over two health, one of which was inadvertantly donated to Yasheth.
A little more preparation and you can double that, adding to more frustration.
The Throw into a nuclear hazard you performed last turn Deimos-9? Well you've lost all profit there.
The Smash into an Apartment building you were so proud of Gorghadra? Stop your little victory dance and turn around, Bucko, because I'm getting back up and feeling a little nasty.

So what are the downsides to Spitters? They do seem quite Superriffic.
Well to start, they have a Low Defence score. These guys die from a gentle breeze, so to speak. So they appreciate taking advantage of Defence increasing effects, such as cover from buildings or the Elite Squix Red Force Field. Unfortunately, this only affects blast attacks. If anything were to run into their face, they are in a bit of strife.
Another thing is Low Speed. It's not much of an immediate problem considering their range, but it is more of a long term problem. Moving costs dice. So if you want to move Spitters, you want to make it really worth the effort of moving, somewhere you suspect you can take advantage of later on in the game. Unfortunately, it's only a little bit of a problem because of their slow speed and lack fo maneuverability.
There are only a couple of things to counter this, to my knowledge. The first that comes to mind is securing an Oil Refinery. With a +1 Spd across the board, it's a great idea to start off your offensive with everything available.
The next is Taskmasters. Taskmasters have an ability called Motivator, where if a unit starts adjacent to him, they may advance an additional space. This combined with the Oil Refinery makes for good long term positioning. If you don't get shot down, mind you.

So whether to aggrivate your opponent with healing your monster, or simply supporting other units to annihilate their power base, Spitters are an interesting unit for the Lords of Cthul.

Simpsons Reference... Check

When I started Monsterpocalypse, I wasn't sure what I wanted to play. All of them were cool but didn't really peak my interest. So everyone chose their own factions.

Chase for Terrasaurs
Rich for Planet Eaters
Biggins for Martians
Scoot for Guard

Shadow Sun Syndicate was tossed around between everyone, so that left me with one choice: The Lords of Cthul. I picked them up and stuck with them, perfectly fine with the scores of innuendo and bad hentai jokes that were to come.

Ten months later I have become proud (Mostly) to be the representing Lords of Cthul player at my local Haunt, with little rituals to follow per series and season.
For example, every Series I represent with monster released that Series.
In Series 1, I swapped between Yasheth and Cthugroth.
In Series 2, I played Ulgoth.
In Series 3, I will be representing with Ancient Osheroth.

But this is where I come to a Dilemma.
Next Series is the start of a new Season in Monsterpocalypse by introducing Six new factions, one for each Agenda. If I am to represent through Agenda, I will not be able to play Lords of Cthul as they will not be expanding this season.
So, I will be expanding into a new faction.

Following the spoilers from Gencon, I found out what faction I would be playing were I to stick to Agenda.

Thats right. Molemen.
They call themselves the Subterran Uprising, rising from the ground to reign terror upon the populace.
I'm a little excited the more I think about them.

With that said, I will still be continuing this Blog of Monsterpocalyptic catastrophe following the Molefolk and their earthly antics.
The only derailment from this will be Voltron, due to release next year, and a few posts regarding Voltron and his antics will be posted in due time.

In the mean time, I shall be continuing with Unit-by-Unit descriptive posts.

And on the third series, the Dark Lords smiled

Yes, this is a post about the ever aggitating Cthulubite, how most opponents find it so difficult to deal with such a unit.
For quite a while, Lords of Cthul players have suffered a little when it comes to blast attacks. Yes we have Spitters, with an elite that has a magnificently useful ability. Yes they have an awesome ranged attack, at a decent range.
But we don't have explosion
You don't?
We don't have chain reaction
You don't say!
We don't have spotter!
And THEN!?

And then along came Cthulubite...
High flyin' Cthulubite
Slow flyin' Cthulubite
Doom Bringin' Cthulubite
along came big, scary Cthulubite

I'd like to credit George Jones for not having a choice in the use of his song "Along came Jones". Ah, what a classic.

Returning to the story. We now have the Cthulubite. This creature creates disaster to anyone within range.

To start, he's a flier. Flight is about as useful as it is dextremental, as the amount of anti-air effects are increasing now adays. The Cthulubite makes up for that with a very high Def Stat of 4. Only one other unit in the Lords of Cthul has a Def stat that high: The Taskmaster.
But we won't go onto that subject here.
Flight allows a great amount of maneuverability. Move over buildings, stop on hazards and impassable terrain, etc etc etc. Granted, it won't gain cover, but in my style of play it hasn't needed to.

The next ability on the sidebar is "Distract". I'm not a fan of this ability, but I won't deny it's usefulness.
For example, I had a game against UncleBiggins the other day. He started off pretty bad, and I was mauling his martians something chronic.
Somewhere nearing the end of the game, his power base was torn apart by an Elite Snatcher, a Shadow Snatcher and a Cthulubite in that order along a straight line.
His retaliation was reasonable: Spawn a Marauder and try to take out all three at once by combining with a couple of Vanguard. The only problem was the Shadow Snatcher in the middle. Cloak requires figures to be within two spaces to be able to target them with blast attacks. Within two spaces of the Shadow Snatcher means you have to be within two spaces of the Cthulubite. Within two spaces of the Cthulubite means you lose a b-die on your attacks.
He put in the effort anyway, throwing his four A-die into the attack. With a roll of three strikes, he eliminated the snatchers but not the Cthulubite.
Good times.

The next ability on the list is "Weaken". I made mention before that I don't have Spotter, and since I make quite a lot of blast attacks, it's good to have an ability to lower someone's Def for ranged attacks.
Weaken kicks that up a notch by allowing weaken to lower a figures Def for ALL attacks. This makes him a great choice for Summon from Cthugrosh or Ancient Osheroths Morphers when they have an action to use and want to go for another activation.
Obviously, it also gives units a boost to their attacks. Another game with UncleBiggins, I was playing against his Tharsis-5. Tharsis-5 had two damage left to drop him out of form.
So, I sent a massive Spitter Slug Squad at him. Two Grunts and Two elites teleported through to the other side of the map with a Cthulubite in Tow. A Def 4 Monster targetted by Two attacks of 2 A-die and 4 B-die each? ~75% chance of hitting.
To boot, the Cthulubite added into an attack as well, increasing the second attack to a 83% chance along with taking out two more units within range.

Which leads us to the Cthulubites final ability: Multi-shot.
Multi-shot: When a target figure is hit, compare the roll to the Def of two units within range. If the roll is equal or higher, those units suffer a point of damage.
This ability was around last season. Two Monsters had it before it was Erratta'd, when you could choose two enemy figures within range. "Enemy Figures" was why it was Erratta'd. Not only could you target units, but you could target Monsters with the additional attacks.
UncleBiggins again, has Multi-shot on Phobos-7. He would always be firing off a shot at a low Def unit with quite a lot of dice and then when he has made sure he has rolled high enough to hit my monster, he would deal the point of damage. If not, then he would choose another unit to destroy.
Risk? Obviously none what-so-ever. Always a profit with multi-shot.
The Nerfing? Oh yes. Well that came about when Series 3 brought forth Morphers. With the previous Multi-shot wording, you could target Three Morpher Figures and deal 3 points of damage. The only requirement was that they were within range of the attacking figure.
Phobos-7 and Nova ESR were devastated to hear that their advantage had been taken away from them. Phobos-7 with his seven space range and Nova with her Weapon Master Multi-shot which deals four damage without trying.
So the Erratta came and it was brought down to units only.
I was happy. Not only would Morphers become more viable, but I finally have a way of attacking multiple units with a single attack. Other factions have Explosion, or Chain Attack, or even Flak.
I have Multi-shot. And I use it well.

UncleBiggins is making a regular mention here, and well deserved too. He's become a victim to some of the biggest points I've made here.
On the last game we had, we were playing Danger Lake. Not a particular favourite map of mine, but following a ritual of mine of "pick a map, any map" and spreading them out like a deck of cards, we submitted to the scene. It's better than the other side, a widely despised map in my group.
To my right were the smaller group of buildings, while to my left were the five buildings that "mark the spot".
UncleBiggins had placed an Imperial State building on his side of the Node Row, and I opposed with a Government Building.
His first turn involved a Despoiler and a Saucer moving up to the Node Row and securing the two structures. Good move. A Saucer on the Negative Zone, a Power Pod on a Power Zone and a Despoiler to help secure the two.
Good start.
My retaliation came only to fuel UncleBiggins' hatred for my Flying Terror.
An elite Spitter and a Cthulubite advanced into Blast range of the Saucer and weaken distance of the Despoiler. Two action and Two boost made for a great denial of Power Dice, as I needed only Two strikes to Eliminate them all.

That is the fear and aggitation that spreads from Cthulubites.
Tough as Nails and hits like a Brick Outhouse.
He's a handyman that can rebuild that Outhouse too, just so you can hit something else with it.

What more could you want?

And it came from nowhere to speak from the Eye

Ah, Bruno.
Not what I was expecting. I was expecting him to simply parade around in his leather lederhosen and make gay jokes at everyone.
The gay jokes were plentiful, from Anal Retention to Seducing Christians.
The dick jokes were long, hard, erect and in your face, like a reinactment from Big Brother.
The jokes were outrageous.

Michelle and I saw this last night and she was mortified from the beginning.
It started out alright, disguising itself as a standard fashion show with an extremely gay host. Then it went to the closet where he tried on some new outfits.
The snowball rolled its steady roll down the slope and it just became more and more outrageous, just as a Sasha Baron Cohen film has been.

After almost pissing ourselves into a fit, we retired to Irish Murphys down the road and drank and laughed and chatted until the early morning so I could return home for some slumber before work.

There is no more news, to be honest. I have been pretty slack.

I HAVE, however, decided to do another blog based on my Monpoc thoughts, since I seem to be exposing too much of my inner self to the girls for them to really handle.

So for the Nerdy Lads that are even slightly interested, please head on over to I HATE MOGROTH where you can enjoy more pleasant rants about the game as they come to mind.
Heck, I might even have some tactical advice.
Mind you I'm not the most tactically minded, so I would take any advice you attain with a saltshaker.