+8d10 and he's knocked prone

One day this year I'm going to move to America.  I'll be living the dream of actually living with my partner, doing the dirty all the time between fun things.

But I'm going to want to continue playing games with my friends from Home.  And naturally that's going to be difficult.  I can't really fly over just to roll some dice every weekend.  I won't be earning that much money, and I won't be spending upwards of 30 hours of planeflight every week. I'm getting a headache just thinking about that.

We've been working on an online setup for a long time now, ever since Richard moved to Townsville actually, and it's just been us placing our laminated grid sheet down in front of a webcam and clarifying anything Richard has been unclear about.

It has been very hit and miss.  Either Richard drops out, or we drop out, or, as has happened, Scotts main computer will not detect that he has a USB Webcam attached and refuse to work.

And it's gotten worse with the new addition of Casey, one of Richard's workmates, whom Aaron has accepted with open arms.

Now we have to make two connections.  Any setup we had became immediately negated because it doesn't allow any of those shenanigans.  Three way conversations are for people with money.

So we began searching for alternatives.  Do we have a cheap and easy source for three way conversations?  Turned out we did, but that died in the arse enough times to finally move on to our eventual choice for Online D&D: Roll20.net.

It's still being worked on, so we excuse it on many accounts, but we still had software complications.  We logged in, we had a faff around, but we could hardly hear anyone.  The Audio/Video chat was terrible.

The website had prepared for that, and it uses the Google+ Hangout. Easy to implement so long as we all register with Google+.

It works. It works well. And we're doing well. Until I get capped.

Mum has a very good deal with Telstra. $10 for her 2gb allowance. The problem with that is how quickly it's chewed through. Mum won't change what she's got, which is fair enough. She'll lose the discount if she does change it, and i won't be here forever so she won't pay more for Excess Internet she won't be using.

Fair enough. So in the mean time if I am to keep connected to DnD, I have to find another computer. So who better than Scotty? He lives across the suburb, he's doing the same thing (at least when he's not playing The Old Republic), so easy peasy!

And now, since we've levelled up and improved our gear, I'm doing anywhere between 51 and 169 damage on a critical hit. And knocking them on their arse. Now to make Aaron threaten me. Cos I'm not worried about anything Aaron throws at me. Even slightly.

Changing Methods

My D&D group is getting a little difficult as of late, mostly because we're starting to really spread apart.  Aaron is on the Southside of Brisbane, Scott and I are still in one place, and Richard is up in Townsville.  In the past, we've made do by having our D&D set placed down in front of a Webcam to allow Richard to join in.  We haven't had a problem, except for Richard not listening too often and Aaron finding it really difficult to get motivated to cross town since he's the only driver out of the three of us in Brisbane.  (Which shall soon change, but still)

Aaron has been pushing for an alternative by playing over the internet through D&D Insider, which provides a program that gives us everything we need in computerised form.  Health tracking, a playing grid, player graphics, etc etc etc.  It's all well and good until I have to fork out money for it, which I would rather not do because I'm saving for Jenny.

My suggestion was rather than using D&D Insider, use Vassal.  Eventually we want to play the Iron Kingdoms RPG system, which is significantly different to D&D itself and more like the Warmachine/Hordes game, and I think Vassal will be perfect for it since the Module already supports the majority of the game, the Module developer just needs to apply a few things once the books come out and it'll be ready for play.  Hopefully.

The only other thing we have to worry about is voice command.  Because rather than having to type it out, it's simply easier to just say what you're doing.  There are a few options with that, the first of which Aaron suggested was Skype.  I've got Skype, he has Skype, I don't think Richard has Skype, and Scott Definitely doesn't.  The alternative to that is MSN messenger, which I'm fine to use, but whether Aaron is even able to we may never know.

Though I do remember last time I used MSN Messenger, I kept getting messages from Bot Spammers saying "Come visit my webcam".  Hmm.

I am keen to do Vassal for the IK RPG so we can fight something mad, such as a Dire Troll or a Juggernaut.  If we can build up ourselves enough, we could even try and take on a Colossal or a Gargantuan, which would be awesome.

Time for Plan B

D&D for the boys and I always has the potential to become a rather uneventful gathering. Aaron, our Dungeon Master, is a sparky and works some odd jobs, sometimes out at Gympie until late at night on a saturday, or maybe he'll be down at Melbourne.

So whilst awaiting our conductors arrival one night, trying to occupy ourselves by playing Xbox, or DS, or Laptop, we came to a decision for a Contingency Plan, something to play if he calls in late. We threw a few impotent ideas around until I suggested a Board game.

We didn't really know many board games, so I threw out the Starcraft or Warcraft board games since I had the two games on the brain. But a few weeks later, Scott and I were at Fastbreak and thought now was a good time to pick a board game to play, something that could accept 3 players and take a fair while to actually play.

Talisman is one we knew about since Scotty and I played that when we attended Cancon a few years ago. Disco and some of his friends we were staying with had Talisman and so we played into the wee hours of the morning having Death chase us all around the board. Sadly, we saw Talisman there, but it was only an expansion which doesn't double as a stand-alone.

After I suggesting a few other choices, such at Settlers and Robo-rally, Paul suggested Castle Ravenloft and gave us a Demo of it. To put it simply, it's a Random Dungeon Generator where your heros (there's up to 5 heros) are sent through to complete a quest, such as retrieve an item from an Alter or defeat certain monsters.

It's cool. It's playing D&D when we can't Play D&D! To boot, they have an expansion coming out next year, so we won't get bored with this very quickly. And we can swap between 5 heros as well: Dragonborn Fighter, Eladrin Wizard, Human Ranger, Dwarf Cleric and Tiefling Rogue (I think I actually have this wrong).

Now all I have to do is find/make a Barbarian and I'm set...

I may be obsessed with D&D

Twas the night of 29th,
And the boys were all well;
Stuffed with cheesy pizzas,
Pasta sauce and chicken wings,
And encapsulated by their Nerdy spell.

The night began with a simple situation with Skarburn the Orc, Azure the Dragonborn and Saphira the Teifling stand along a beach with Skarburns incorporeal guardians, staring out at an island floating in the sea.

Thundul, its name was, and it was a legendary island, peeking over the horizon as a sign of peace and neutrality to those passing by. Skarburn was famous for taking on this island to prove his strength, and tearing off a scale of the turtle that keeps the Island afloat.

Skarburns task was to take on Thundel to prove that Skarburn was worthy of his Fathers Heritage. Thundel knew his place and coasted the waves towards them.

And initiative was rolled.

Azure began first. With a bump on the chest from Skarburn, a finger pointing and a gentle order of “Fetch”, he charged into the waves towards the creature and bonked him a couple of times to get his point across. What he was saying in the crashing waves and the threatening roar, we may never know.

Skarburn charged forth, his athletic prowess bounding over the ocean to fall just in reach of his Halberd, thrusting in between the creatures shell to it’s exposed flesh and dealing an aggravating amount of damage.

The turtle enraged by his the headache made from Azures incoherency, and the sword smacked across its snout, he decided to make his rebuttal with his own intellectual motives. With his mind on the job, he surged forward and head butted Azure.

Saphira waddled up from behind the dune, her fear of being captures quite prominent as she stared at the turtle and the gentle swirling whirlpools caused by the turtles failing waterwings, and considered how easily she could float out to sea. With her fears and paranoia overwhelming her, once again, she reached into the turtles mind and attempted to give the turtle a bigger headache with a Mind Thrust. In hindsight, she reconsidered her knowledge of bestial anatomy and figured that the turtle’s brain might be a little lower and to the left.

Azure was enjoying this state of debate. The creature was of similar state of mind and his eloquence was just as phenomenal. This would be a great moment for the Dragonborn courts, were they there. With noticeable evidence, he thrust forward the next subject of argument with solid confidence.

Skarburn knew his objective. He was a cowboy, and he needed a good ride. He must mount this creature and wrangle this beastie into submission. But climbing a turtles shell is much more difficult than expected.

Thundul considered this interruption of Skarburns to be out of order in his court of the seas, but although Azure defended the case and attempted to keep Thunduls attention on himself, Skarburn was still affected by the harsh actions and fell off Thunduls back.

The Turtles was confused, and stomped down to re-evaluate his situation. Azure stood firm to keep his fervor and his state of mind keen, however Skarburn was lost to the words and thrown deeper into the waters.

Back in the real world, I wanted Skarburn to charge. He floated in deep water and all had to stop for a moment.
“I really don’t want you to charge,” Aaron said with disgust in his throat like the frog that changed into a toad. “So I’m not going to let you.”
“Okay. But I want to reach him,” I stated, a simple request to my own credit. I was only six spaces away and swimming isn’t hard.
“Okay, make an athletics check and I’ll –“ My dice rolls across the laminated board. “BWAHAHAHAHA.”
20 stared back up at us with a gleaming smile that only a spiteful bastard could offend with.

Being a Mind Rapist that she is, Saphira knew Skarburns motives. She didn’t need to roll for that. With knowing that Skarburn floated in extreme danger of being caught within the current, she threw him on top of the Turtles back with a wave of her hand and sat contently on the beachside to watch the kiddies in the pool as the turtle debated with Azure in the greatest meeting of minds to date, while attempting to throw the monkey named Skarburn from his back.

Skarburn brought his halberd down again and again, cracking the shell more and more with each of his powerful blows. Thundul had kept his greatest counterpoint until now and felt that it should be taken advantage of. He surged forward and Azure was thrown back to the shores as he followed up, Skarburn hanging ten atop, and expelled a jury for the court.

"They're what?"
"Koopas."
Laughter ensued and Aaron punctuates it with "And they're all taking on Scotty."

Saphira, the content form of mental trauma of anybody that looks at her funny, seated peacefully on the beach was suddenly surrounded by Bowser--- Sorry, Thunduls minions -- trying to start a debate of minds with her as well but with little avail.

Saphira knew what had to be done. She had to brave the waters. See to the Sea and take her chances against the drowning liquid, because that's where Skarburn and Azure were. They're handy men. Surely they could show some plumbers crack and scare them off.

Waving her arms and telekinetically tossing the shelled minions out of her way, her toe dipped into the water and realised that it really isn't that cold, and purely by judging how Azure stood knee deep she probably won't get her knickers wet, hence saving her from embarrassment later on in the day.

The minions flooded around, as hoped, and notice Azure attacking their Master Debater *Snicker* and attempt to help him by flanking Azure. As Azure was slightly distracted, fending off the mini-Thundul, the Turtle lord himself decided to take the moment to attempt to shake off his monkey again.

Tumbling forward and landing with an eye bulging crunch, Skarburn became saddled on the back of Thundul's neck where he retained a level of advantage. "This is a good position," he thought to himself before Thundul reached up with his mandibles and attempted to tear Skarburn from his shoulders.

With the tiny titans dispatched, Skarburn still on Thundul's shell, and Azure still chewing the beef, she re-evaluated her choice in attack against the mammoth creature and weaved one of her more effective spells. With a burst of Psionic energy, the weakening creature slowed down more, its defences lowered to an extremity, and Azure and Skarburn began their final attacks.

Richard had his turn planned. He started by using Strength from Pain to increase his damage, where he is instantly considered bloodied and whatever health he had above his bloodied score instantly becomes temporary HP, and being a Dragonborn he has +2 to damage. He used fighter recovery, a daily on his sword to get back his Daily Power "Dance of Steel".

He then used his action point for another action, which triggered an instantly refreshed Dragons Breath, and used Dance of Steel to deal his damage before ending his turn.

This all amounted to about 100 damage, considering he dealt a good amount of damage through each attack.

I had a simple plan. Barbarians have an ability called Rage Strike, where you sacrifice a Daily Power to make a massive hit against a target that adjusts in damage depending on what level the daily ability is. I had adjusted my powers (A long overdue choice) and replaced a useless daily with a daily closer to my level, level 15 to be exact.

We have also been recording damage, one thing in particular is the highest damage in one hit. My record was 79 damage on a critical. It was a good critical too.

I considered this for a moment and began to laugh.
"Why are you giggling for over there?" Aaron demanded.
"Oh, just considering this rage strike. If I critical, it instantly beats my old critical record."
"Oh yes, your 22 damage plus 6d10 damage."
"That's right, so that makes 82 plus 2d10 plus 3d6," I laughed. "But the likelihood of that is---" I rolled my dice. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

105 damage in one hit, leaving the poor sap on 487 health out of 500.
The best part? When a Barbarian Criticals with a Barbarian Power, he make immediately make a Basic Melee Attack.

Thunduls head slunk forward and his body dropped to the ground, Skarburn standing triumphant atop it's shell. He had completed his mission and he was very proud of it.

We have been track of our overall encounter damage for these games for a few months now. The pattern we see is that Skarburn has the highest damage output per hit ratio, however Azure retains consistency throughout, while Saphira lingers in the rear with about half as much damage on a good day.

Tonight's encounter rose with Richard/Azure came out on top with 380 something damage, while Skarburn came out with 307 and Scotty/Saphira with a total of 88.

Game on.

D&D Skarburn

I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons for about 5 years now. It began with a few of my mates who introduced me into it and we have continued as such starting off in the realms of 3.0 and 3.5.

From the beginning, I played the Barbarian named Skarburn. Skarburn was originally a gaming alias that I began a few moons beforehand and it has stuck ever since.

Skarburn the Barbarian has been on a perpetual search for information on his father. His only memory of him is the Halberd that he wields. He keeps strange company and usually helps others along as they come and go, but he eventually gets back around to his original plan.

Back when I started, Skarburn was a glorious power to behold that struck down any enemy that disagreed with him or stood in his way. The damage he dealt was great, and even better when he rolled a critical hit.

But that was not to last. As the party grew levels they became more and more bizarre, such as a flying, gun wielding maniac tiefling that had visions of power, and a world collapsing psion that had be tortured to the brink of death, and a fire wielding, battle plated, sword flourishing Warmage.

Then there was Skarburn. Big, strong, and a hard hitter. His problem? He had trouble hitting, whether from failing to roll above AC, or because the enemy was practically impossible to reach. I was having to find environmental ways to catch an enemy, such as climbing a nearby building and hoping that my jump score would be able to reach the blighter so I could get one hit (that would subsequently miss) against the target. It was that or use my alternative weapon, the Short Spear, which dealt half as much damage when thrown.

Anyone who has played D&D will wonder “Why is he dealing half as much damage? Wouldn't he be dealing less damage based on the weapon damage?”
Well a small vice that I made for Skarburn is that he is constantly using the feat Power Attack, where you deal additional damage by sacrificing your attack bonus. Now I wouldn't sacrifice much for this, usually only about -2 which equates to 4 damage for using a 2-handed weapon, and when I attained the Improved Power Attack feat the limit to the bonus was allowed to go past a -5 to attack.

I still remember seeing the Frenzied Berserker Prestige Class and thinking “Sweet mother of pearl, I'll be able to tear through anything and everything with this!”
An ability called Improved Power attack multiplied the bonus damage by 1.5, and later it was changed to an ability called Supreme Power Attack, that doubled the bonus, allowing me to deal 8 bonus damage at -2 to attack. So much gain at so little to lose.

A prerequisite for the prestige class was to have a feat called Cleave, where once per turn if you kill an enemy you may make another attack against someone within your melee range. The feat Improved Cleave allowed you to continue to make attacks so long as you killed an enemy. The Frenzied Berserker topped this off with an Ability called “Supreme Cleave”: If you kill an enemy, you may move 10ft (Effectively two squares) and make another attack. You may continue this as long as you kill enemies. So were Skarburn to kill enemies in single hits, provided he hits as well, he would make his way across the board before anyone else could have their turn.

However, that was not to be. We were all in the level 10-12 region, and nothing was working out very well for me, as mentioned. Although it was still terrifying to Aaron, our DM, to let me hit. Ever. I was dealing about 26+1d10+2d6 damage before rage, which increased it by another bucketload of damage.

Then D&D 4.0 was released. We looked it over and came to the summation that D&D 4.0 is the simple players game. The books were pretty much entirely based around the combat system, with chapters drawn towards character background and development.

But it was the combat system that excited us. It was simple and easy to figure out and had some pretty entertaining aspects. Aaron could scratch build characters with a decent reference because it followed a reasonable pattern.

The first players handbook was released and, a little to my dismay, it didn't have the Barbarian class. So Aaron scratch built the Barbarian in his image. What he didn't quite count on was the Feat Layout that I proceeded to apply.

Most feats have a flat bonus, such as +2 to a skill, or a situational ability. Quick Draw was improved from simply “Draw your weapon as a minor action” to include “+2 to your initiative roll”. Some old abilities became a feat themselves, with a simple prerequisite. Uncanny Dodge was an ability for the Barbarian that prevented him from being caught “Flat Footed”, unaware of an upcoming attack and such. This prevented a large variety of situations for Aaron to generate as I would never be caught unaware of something, or be sneak attacked. Which frustrated Aaron when he was on a Ninja binge, who would try and Sneak Attack but be unable to because Sneak Attack requires the target to be “Flat Footed”.

“Flat Footed” is no longer available in 4.0 and instead has been translated to a flat +2 Bonus to Attack and is called “Combat Advantage”. Uncanny Dodge has been adjusted to negate the +2 bonus to attack while still granting Combat Advantage for those asking for it, such as Sneak Attack.

Other feats have translated over and have either changed somewhat, or adjusted to be a beneficial ability throughout the characters career. Weapon Focus is an example of both of these. Originally it stood as a +1 bonus to attack rolls. Nothing special about it otherwise. D&D 4.0 changed it to damage and as a character progressed, the damage would increase. +1 at levels 1-10, +2 at levels 11-20, +3 at levels 21-30.

Power Attack also translated well. Previously it was +1 to damage (+2 for using a 2-handed weapon) for each -1 to your attack, to a maximum of -5 to your attack. Now it was a flat -2 to attack, but the bonus to damage is set at +2 at levels 1-10, +4 at levels 11-20 and etc. The bonus increases to +3/+6/etc if using a 2-handed weapon.

A good feat that I picked up, because it is simply hilarious, was Polearm Gamble: Once per initiative, when an enemy moves into your melee range you may make a basic melee attack against them. Doing so grants combat advantage to everyone for a turn.
I have never regretted using this ability. Point one, the bonus to attack against me is negated by uncanny dodge. Point two, I deal plenty of damage. Point Three, the more attacks I make, the more chance I might friggin hit something.

So I had prepared myself and I was dealing damage far above the Damage Curve that was been planned by the developers, and a little above Aarons expectations. The counter to that is the attack was just below the curve. While the others required a 10 or better to hit I was having trouble hitting at 12, mostly because of unlucky rolls. But when I hit, the 10-tonne sack of shit that was on the end of my weapon would make up for it.

The encounters themselves were much more in my favour as well. Many more enemies are becoming ground based, and therefore reachable, and the Attack to Armour Class Curve is much more favourable to me so now I can kill indiscriminately without looking like an idiot with a stick. The only problem remaining is my luck with D20's. Some nights, I just have trouble rolling above an 8. Other times, like the other week, I roll enough 20's to overpower an otherwise extremely difficult encounter.

Eventually after a few months of Home Brew D&D Characters, Wizards of the Coast (The developers of D&D) brought out a Beta test copy of the barbarian up to level 20 with the Frenzied Berserker Paragon path.
Rages were explained and it makes them a Daily Power, much like the 3.* version which was a set amount of times per day. Instead of the standard bonus to Strength and Constitution, it changes between what rages you use and gives you a bonus that stays until the end of the encounter.

Bloodhunt rage gives you a bonus to your damage equal to your Constitution modifier if you or your opponent are bloodied (Half health or below). Swift Panther Rage allows you to shift two spaces instead of one, and gives you a bonus +2 to your Speed.

But the best one I found was Stone Bear Rage: Gain resistance equal to your Constitution modifier +3. This lowered damage from all attacks by a total of 8 for me, which at the time halved almost all of my enemies attacks, and negated almost all damage from Minions.

Aaron would get so frustrated, he would fire a volley of about 20 arrows into Skarburn and then turn to me and say “that's sixteen hits, d6+3 damage and you suffer (Rolls d6's)... two damage”. I knew that it was ridiculous, but it was so good to simply not be able to die.

To top it off, one of the regular attacks was called “Recuperating Strike” which gave me Temporary HP, health outside my normal health. So I would suffer about 18 less damage from an attack to my actual health, which numbered in the hundreds.

That was the beta copy, however. So it wasn't surprising that that particular Rage was toned down to “resistance equal to your Constitution Modifier”.

Looking over my gear though, I realised that I had still planned to be nigh impossible to kill. Equipment has changed as well to have abilities that a player can activate too. Because Aaron gave us free will to adjust our equipment, giving us a credit limit and allowing us to choose from the gear available in the Players Handbook, I chose a few things that I would find to be most likely choices. Berserker weapon, Braces of Damage, and Troll Skin Armour.

Troll Skin Armour gives the wearer a Regeneration value equal to the wearers Constitution Modifier. The wearer doesn't regenerate health if it suffered a Fire or Acid based attack the turn beforehand. So after all is said and done, I regenerate 5 health at the beginning of my turn. If I'm fighting multiple enemies, the regeneration is hardly a worry. If I'm fighting one person, they either have to have a fire or acid based attack on themselves, or deal plenty of damage, to have a chance of killing me. Or be a Solo. In which case, I should be pretty screwed.

Should be. We'll find out in the future.

The class is designed to be rather difficult to defeat, too. The class has a power that prevents me from initially falling unconscious, called Deathless Frenzy. When I drop below 0 hp, I can remain conscious until I reach death (Half your heath in negative) or fail a death saving roll. When a character drops below 0 hp normally, they fall unconscious and the player makes a Death Saving Roll each turn. If they roll 10 or above, they remain unconscious but don't get worse. If they roll below 10, a player marks a strike. Once you reach 3 strikes, the character dies. A way to get past this is if friendly character or NPC reaches the character and stabilises them, preventing the dying character from reaching death and hence not needing to make Death Saving Rolls. Another way is to heal them, which brings them back to consciousness and regain the healing value as if they were on 0 hp. (E.g.: If they were on -5 hp and regained 5hp, they would bump up to 5hp).

If a player rolls a 20, the character instantly regains consciousness and jumps back up to a quarter of their health and expend a healing surge. So far, in Skarburns Career, I've done this two or three times. Every time, it has been a magnificent sight to behold.

Game on.

D&D Endurance

A heads up, this is actually a very long post. So unless you have time underneath your belt, you may want to return to this later.

---

Tonights game of Dungeons and Dragons (4.0) was several levels of FUCKING EPIC.

Our D&D Group consists of 3 characters at the level 15 region.

Azure, the Blue Dragonborn Fighter, runs around with two swords and tanks quite well. On top of that, he has a rather impressive D&D Figure. Too bad his roleplay isn't as impressive.

Saphira (I probably spelt that wrong), the horny crazy girl with wonky boobs with psychotic powers. By horny, I mean that she has horns. She's a tiefling after all. And psychotic... well she's a Psion. She's a little bit home brew as well, but mostly plays a disruptive role by denial and such.

Skarburn-slash-Gretchalina, the Jamaicanesque Ex-Male-Orc, Ex-"What IS their gender"-Elf, Now-Female-Goblin, Bisexual Barbarian with Uncertain Accent Syndrome. There's storey behind all of that, and it comes down to experimental reincarnation can kick back some karma. To his luck though, he has a very heightened sense of smell that he keeps all the way through.

Skarburn and Azure were separated from Saphira after trying to locate some information on an invading force of strange ogres who last attacked several years ago and have begun again. So far, the only information we gathered was a rumour of similar ogres appearing in a town north of the city we were in.

At the point where everyone was meant to gather, the usual "Meet back here in an hour" situation, we find Saphira is missing, in which case Skarburn begins to worry, since Azure can't tell the difference between a Bargaining Gigolo and his Elbow and trying to figure out the difference occupies his mental capacity.

So going for a search for the poor girl who could be anywhere from just a little bit lost and stuck in the labyrinth of the slums, to slaughtering hapless hostile people and simply drenching herself in their blood, to being arrested and she's playing along to see where it leads.

Skarburns amazing sense of smell leads her to a small crowd outside a slightly dilapidated church which is well guarded.

Seems suspicious enough, and the scent of Saphira was a sure sign that she was around at some stage. But to get in? That was a tricky part.

The church had a second storey. After a little bit of searching and climbing, she leapt from a nearby building unseen onto the second storey. Looking about, a window was broken open and two 'craters' were punched into the floor of the second storey. Odd, but I move on.

She climbs into the window and finds herself in a small study room, and suddenly pause at the sound of a conversation behind the door.

"You move ahead and ready the cage. We'll organise a craftsman to board up the broken window and repair the roofing."

Peeking out the door, trying to be sneaky, Skarburn looks and finds an elderly priest walking towards the room she stood in. Quickly reacting, she hide behind the door--

This is where we got a little silly.
Me: "I hide behind the door... Not behind the actual door."
Aaron: "Yeah yeah, I got you. I can see it now, you stand behind the door and hold it shut. The old man will be trying to push it open and can't budge it because you're this small mass of muscle that works as the immovable doorstop that doesn't notice anyone trying to open it."

For those who may understand, I have a Strength of 22. For a Goblin, you'd think that sort of strength would make it look like a Midget Michelin man packed with muscle.

The old man enters and surveys the room. Skarburn takes this as a moment to keep being sneaky and duck out the door. Being a Barbarian, she's not exactly sneaky. Even so, the old man noticed that someone left and called out to them to stop, but there was nobody blocking the way to the exit of the back door and she legged it.

Probably about an hour later, and a poor dice roll on behalf of Myself and Richard (Both rolled Fours on a d20), Skarburn and Azure were wandering around town searching for clues by calling out Saphira's name and hoping someone would come up to us and say "I saw her get carted off to the place and I suspect it's for the thing so that someone can get the stuff!"

Or something indistinct like that. Aaron usually gets pretty... expansive with the way he tells you where the milk is.

They were of luck! A large authoritative man with two standard grunts came up to them and inquired whether their identities were of Skarburn and Azure. With a vague confirmation, he demanded that Skarburn and Azure join him regarding the missing party member, Saphira.

Skarburn and Azure are not of the sort to be demanded of, so they played the bastard. "I might know who you're talking about. Why would I want to know? What makes you think I'll play sheep and come along?" The authority raises his hand, preparing to click his fingers. The two guards weren't really a worry to Azure and Skarburn, one knowing that they could handle the three of them easily, the other still trying to figure out their location. But to add a little spite, Skarburn lean forward and say to him "I hope you're not going to ruin your manicure doing that."

With a click of his fingers, a gust of wind flows past us and two large thuds come from 'about 10 feet behind' (Aaron's words). Large, heavily armoured figures had dropped from three metres to the ground and left indentations in the ground, and both were prepared to start a fight.

Eventually, to get things moving on, Azure said he'll join them. The pair were lead out of the city, through one of the city gates (I'm still not sure which way we are on a compass) and to a small clearing at the bend of a road where farmland had been abandoned and had long since overgrown.

There stood Saphira (High Five for unsuccessful search checks!) standing with another odd fellow (that we eventually called "Wayne Kerr Anderson" as his actual name). He was there to convince the party into a deal. They do a job for him and he won't charge them with false allegations. He knew of some of their history, but he was threatening to put everyone up on charges for things like starting a sandstorm (Which none of us can do) and consorting with an old NPC character that Skarburn has actually had dealings with, and Saphira has had a minor interaction with. Azure has never heard of the character before, but he didn't say anything as he was wondering where his hand went as he reached for the sky. His is blue after all, so I can't blame him entirely.

Naturally, with these false allegations, everyone were very uncooperative. But then he tried a very current threat.

"With but a motion with my eyes, I can summon forces that will convince you."
"Oh really? How do you do it? Do you wiggle your eyebrows? I'm going to call you eyebrows now."

So he started a countdown where he was mocked between mississippis. "How will he do it? Wiggle his eyebrows? Ooo! He blinks funny, that'll be it. Real sneaky like. At least he's not ruining his manicure."

And then we rolled for Initiative. The Encounter began as follows.

4 Blockers: The big bastards that air dropped in the middle of the city.
4 Interceptors: Dodgy bastards that appeared from nowhere along with -
4 Psions: Telepathetic bastards that deny a heap of shit to you, such as attack bonuses and your standard pairing of actions.

So there the party were, innocently being accused of a heap of shit that had nothing to do with them, and suddenly Mr Eyebrows sets a third of his contingent on us. Fair enough, there was no cooperation, but that might be a little extreme, don't you think? Meh, screw the rules. I play Dungeons and Dragons.

So the party, Skarburn, Azure and Saphira are in a semi-circle around Mr Eyebrows. Two interceptors and a Blocker appear a few spaces behind Skarburn, Psions a half dozen spaces behind them. Behind Azure were two more Psions about 10 spaces away and two more blockers. Behind Eyebrows are two more interceptors. Behind Saphira is the last blocker and Psion.
Hiding in the overgrown field is the last interceptor.

It starts off alright. Skarburn turns to attack the interceptors and perform her Daily "Blood hunt Rage", along with activate the Troll Skin Armour which grants health regeneration every turn equal to her Constitution Modifier. Azure turns to his blockers and begins marking them as he goes. Saphira realises "holy crap I might die" here and goes into her usual position of "Hide and Pick them off!" headed for the overgrown field.

Skarburn stood where she was for the next 5 turns using the Paragon Encounter Power: Persistent Frenzy, which allows her to attack all enemies adjacent, and w hile raging, roll a d20 at the end of the turn and if the roll is 10 or higher she doesn't lose the Encounter Power. The Psions kept slowing her down, dropping my attack bonus, and generally preventing me from actually getting anywhere. But Persistent Frenzy remained. By the fifth turn, and about two or three criticals, skarburn finally got out of that combat.

When I critical, I start off at 32 (Base 20 +2 for Raging +10 for d10 weapon damage) and then add another 2d10 and 3d6. This usually results in a fairly substantial damage output. I believe our record so far is 78 or 79 damage in a single swing during a Rage Power that added more dice into the attack.

On top of that if I was using a Barbarian Power, which I usually am, I get to make an additional attack. A little excessive, but it got me out of combat.

So my next turn, Skarburn turned around to the Psions and said "I have a headache now. If you don't have any Panadol, you're in a world of hurt." Needless to say, they didn't have any Panadol.

This is where Eyebrows returned in a poof of smoke, flourishing his brow with a gleam. He was losing rather substantial people and thought he should join the fray so that his contingent doesn't fall further than it should.

Just quickly, I'd like to clarify something. All of the other dudes are standard enemies. The Blockers, Interceptors and Psions have 110, 100 and 80 health respectively. Mr Eyebrows is an 'Elite' with 250 health and decent stats and abilities that allow him to survive longer than his cousins. With the Psions floating about, it kept him from being hit more often. To counter, with my regenerating health it made me that little bit more difficult to kill.

But the Psions barrage was slowly becoming more and more painful. Skarburn had already used the healing surge from the second wind, bringing back 32 of the 119 health, and Azure used his cloak allowing her to use another healing surge. With most healing options now lost, safety precaution was taken.

With a Roar, she caved down on another enemy with her Stone Bear Rage. Stone Bear Rage gives the user Resistance 5, preventing 5 damage from each attack. Stacked with the 5 health regenerated every turn, survivability becomes quite phenomenal and ignoring Skarburn for a turn or two can be greatly regretted.

For the rest of the encounter, Azure fended off Blockers and Interceptors, Saphira led off the poor bastards into death traps, and Skarburn stood toe to toe with Mr Eyebrows. Azure was suffering substantial damage, and he didn't have any further health regenerating abilities and the tower that was the Blue Dragon finally fell. With a glorious burst of blinding breath, he fell to the ground, with a kill count of about 5 or 6.

So it was girl time, Skarburn and Saphira, left to take on the rest of this squad. Unfortunately, Skarburn was the poor sap who made such a terrifying scene that all three of the remaining Psions, the two interceptors and Mr Eyebrows turned their attention on her. You wouldn't think that I'd be able to survive.

Saphira gained the attention of two of the interceptors from her, which was very helpful. She was slowly tearing away at them with a crystalline arm, throwing them around and denying them the ability to attack Skarburn. She tore him apart and went to disrupt the Psions from attacking her, putting one into a stranglehold and the other one simply being annoyed at her being there.

So that left Skarburn sitting there between an Interceptor and Mr Wayne "Eyebrows" Kerr. My Persistent Frenzy remained persistent, and she gained more temporary hit points through the use of a few abilities and powers. The Interceptor was quickly mauled and it was me and Mr Eyebrows. I attack and stepped back, allowing him to enter my melee range.

Now I use a Halberd, a type of polearm. I also gained a feat that I have never regretted taking up, which is Polearm Gambit: Once per initiative, if an enemy moves adjacent to you, you may make a basic melee attack against them.

So I attack, step back. He enters melee range, I attack, he attacks. Rinse and Repeat. Slowly we worked our way around Saphira and her battle with the Psions was becoming more and more of an uphill battle. Repeatedly being tied up between two people, it was obvious what was going to happen to her.

Then Saphira snapped. Through the entire encounter, she used up her last 5 healing surges for the day through various abilities she has available to keep her alive while luring poor sods into their demise. But when she loses all of her Healing Surges for the day, she becomes psychotic. Her arms become spinier, her fists become massive shards, and she simply goes on a blood lusted craze. She takes a constant damage and receives temporary hit points based on her damage up to a maximum of 20.

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to help her. She eliminated her enemies except for an interceptor and one lucky Psion who hadn't been touched all Encounter. Eyebrows knew that she was on the verge of death and decided to take out his secret weapon: A SWORD LAZER!

BOOM! She fell to the ground convulsing leaving me to take on Mr Eyebrows, a Psion called Lucky, and an Interceptor. You would think that Skarburn would be in trouble, but in the turn or two that Eyebrows had missed or not attacked her, Skarburn was still healing. When Eyebrows turned back to Skarburn, she was already on a third of her total health.

He was on about a quarter health of his 250 hp and already used his healing surge to try and survive the onslaught of Skarburn.

This is where Skarburn was in trouble. Three opponents, one of which is more powerful than the others, one that denies stuff like bonus to attack and standard turns, and one who simply attacks and damages.

Slowly Skarburns health wavered down and down, damage increasing constantly as she Persistently Frenzied, over and over again. Eventually the Interceptor was down, re-capping my temporary HP and preventing me from dying from one more hit.

But it wasn't enough. The next few attacks put me under 0 HP, leaving me on -5.

We reached an ambiguous point. I have a Utility power, Deathless Frenzy, which allows me to stay Conscious until I reach death or fail a death saving roll. The problem was that when someone regains health, such as the Regeneration from the Troll skin armour, I regain that health as if I were at 0 hp, putting me up on 5 instead of a flat 0 and Deathless Frenzy expires.

If I didn't heal, then I continue to make death saving rolls at the end of my turn until I die at -60 hit points.

We opted for the latter of the two and Aaron allowed me to turn off the regeneration. I had my turn and hoped for a critical, the massive hit that would end this so much earlier than expected. Unfortunately, I rolled a 3. My bonus of 18 does not allow me to surpass his Armour Class of 30.

I dropped the dice and I began to express my dismay at not getting the eighth critical that I was absolutely desiring when Aaron pointed to me and said
"Did you just roll that?"
"What?" I peer down and there it was. The highest number available on a 20 sided dice glared up at me like a smug little child.
"Yeah, Medway did roll that," piped in Scotty and Richard.
"Medway, do you know what this means?"

Now when someone is 'dying', they make a Death Saving Roll. When you roll a 1-9 you mark a strike and when you get to 3 strikes, you die. When you roll a 10-19, you don't mark a strike. When you roll a 20, you use a healing surge and regain hit points as if you were on 0 hp and regain consciousness.

While I was already conscious, I do regain the 32 hit points from my healing surge.

So with a blaze in Skarburns eyes and a Rage Blood Vigour coursing through his veins, the Female Goblin raised its halberd and struck down the man standing twice his size and with funnier eyebrows than her.

With the towering figure falling, Skarburn turned to the remaining Psion and said "Fuck off."

"Medway?" Aaron looked at the board confused.
"Yes Aaron?" I say with a cheeky smile.
"You beat the encounter."
"That's right," I reply.
"YOU CAN'T DIE," he says in stark realisation.
"NO I CAN'T," I affirm with a grin almost so wide that my head could fall off from a gust of wind.
"With your many Criticals and efforts this game, you are turning back into an Orc next D&D."
"Game on."
"You know this was meant to be an extremely difficult battle, unlikely for you to win."
"Yeah. I figured that by being outnumbered about... four to one? Without Eyebrows?"
"But you beat it," he said with a little bit of pride. "And the scary thing is... is that you're not home brew."

Skarburn (The Figure), turned away from Mr Eyebrows (The Brown Square Stone), with the convulsing body of Saphira (Black Round Stone), and the remaining Psion that will carry my message to the remainder of the forces (Blue Square Stone).