I married a Gal from Kalamazoo five years ago

Having an accent throws people, leaving them gawk at me as they ascertain my speech.
"What are you doing in Kalamazoo?" they say, the taste of a confusion cocktail with a splash of bile.
That drink suddenly rots teeth when they hear the sweet response of "I met a gal from Kalamazoo" and flash the golden band around my finger.

I like it here.  The people are nice and homely, keeping everyone as comfortable as they keep themselves, almost to extremes.

They are curious, making jokes about themselves and quoting films as old as time itself, while enamoured with stories about my home, of wildlife and of culture.

But every morning, I wake up and find my gorgeous wife, sleeping like an angel.

And I always breathe a sigh of relief.  That after five years, I am finally with her.  No more waiting to text her at 8pm.  No more digital kisses.  No more stressing out when I haven't gotten a message from her.

I can finally talk to her. I can touch her. I can kiss her. I can hold her.

I can love her.

For four years, we were apart.  All we wanted was to be together.  And we did it.  Thousands of dollars and close to twelve months, we did the process.  We filed the paperwork. I went through the exams.  I answered the questions.  We both stretched our patience to the very limit.

But I got here.

It was March, and Michigan was still colder than a witches teat.  The plane flew over Chicago in the middle of the day and I just saw homes covered in thin blankets of white snow, streets glistening in the light as the ice froze over and the dark slush piled up to the side.

It was winter like I had never seen it, and in the wrong time of year.

Our wedding was simple, something we both wanted. Family and friends down on the beach on St Paddy Day, something we will recreate one anniversary in Aus, if we're not elbow deep in alcohol already.

If there was one flaw that day, it was the cold.  Icebergs meandered along the beach as the wind pummelled us with what felt like Liquid Nitrogen.

But it all melted when I saw her.  I knew I loved her, but that moment was like I was back at that airport in 2010, seeing her beaming after eight months of wanting to meet, and seeing the exact same beam that made my heart skip a track.

We've had a rocky nine months.  Adjusting to everything, from paying for items at the store, to having a small dog, to avoiding faux pars in conversation.  I've been trying to take notes of how different things are from home, but it doesn't feel very different.  Sure, everyone drives on the wrong side; money is made of paper and is always green; And everyone will ask me or Jenny to translate.

But at its heart, this is home.  Jenny is my home.  And I am glad I am finally there.

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... This would be funnier if this was conveniently on the fourth of April.  But I just waste my 404th post!  Wooo!

Radio killed Independence Day

Our Hero was confused what
his Rock Out song should be

It was my first proper Independence Day, and I was smack bang in the middle of Seppoland to enjoy it.  Jenny had built me up for it, only warning that I would have to look after Taz while every 'Murican across the country was shooting fireworks during the day and night, constantly and almost dangerously closely.

I was disappointed in that respect.  Hardly a peep until Thursday.

But it was going to be fine, there was at least going to be a fireworks show over at South Haven on Thursday.  Jenny offered to go earlier in the week, taking Taz with us because he freaks out and forces himself back into the closet to hide from the cacophony.

Naturally I accepted.  I wanted to see a fireworks show.  It'd been a long time since I'd seen one, and with a country that ejaculates at the thought of something blowing up I would hope they'd do a good job of it.

And they did.  But one thing confused me.  We had the radio going because they were doing a live broadcast and we began the drive home pretty quickly after the finale.

Now, just quickly, after years of watching American movies, I had an understanding that Independence Day was their separation from the Tyranny of the English.

So why the fuck were they playing The Beatles during and after the Finale?  If that wasn't bad enough, for the next couple of days we also heard The Who and Adelle singing that Skyfall song.

We did hear the Monty Python Theme, but it turns out that is an American Tune.

Now credit where credit is due, they're good songs.  But come on.  I was expecting Kid Rock and Bruce Springsteen to be blaring from every home along the way home as peoples hands were combusting as they clutched those colourful explosives.

But no.  I had the Beatles under the occasional light of M-80's being flung into the sky.  I got more 'Murica from GTA who made available a Monster Truck that looks like George Washington had ejactulated all over it.

Maybe next year.

It's ma birfday, happy birfday

Swap that Jack with the 5 of Hearts, and you got 28!
You'd understand if you played Cribbage.

It was this time last year that I'd began working at Cloudland as a Glassy.  I was feeble and green, making mistakes with whether a table was done with a bottle, or if a customer had abandoned their drink.  It was a new learning experience and I needed it after such a long time in my last job.

Only a couple of months beforehand Jenny and I had put in for my deportat- sorry, Immigration to the USA so that after four long and hard years, we could finally be together.  We were consulted by wonderful friends of ours who had been through similar ordeals, and also a wonderful Lawyer who alleviated the majority of our concerns and prepared us for the trials that lay ahead.  Mostly.

But we persevered...  Up until around about Jennys Birthday.  We were going stark, raving mad.  So I concocted a plan!  I would visit for Xmas!  And we would be able to calm ourselves down by being together while we wait for the VISA to process.

So since the internet at home had capped, slowing it down to a snails pace, I went up to my sisters place and organised a new ticket.  $2k it cost mum's visa card for a return trip, and that was about what I was expecting for a return trip around Xmas time.

But about a month later, that plan came to a grinding halt.  We were basically told that while I was going through the VISA process, if I tried to enter the country I would be given a complete service and sent back to Aus.  THEN, the process would get cancelled and we would have wasted our money and time.

Didn't I feel like a right fuck knuckle.

So I got credit back on my plane tickets and kept the receipt for when I do actually go over there.  At least I wouldn't have to buy another ticket, right?

Time was making things... difficult.  We just wanted to be together and there was much despair from both of us and we were just absolutely sick to death of waiting.  We felt like the most patient people in the world finally reaching breaking point.

Come November, we got word.  Homeland Security said "Guess what, your only crime in America is being Australian."  And I assume that's fine because they haven't stamped a "Return To Sender" mark on my forehead and put me in the post since I got here.

My instructions were straightforward.  Get your stuff together.  Get a Medical Check done.  Get a Police Certificate.  Send it down to Sydney.  Then come down for your interview.  Fair cop.

Police Certificate was easy.  Go in, give details, and bam, it'll be in the mail.

On the same day, I went for my Medical.  Now, there's a shortlist of doctors that you can attend that qualify for their standards, and luckily it was just near the train station.  It began with a urine sample.  Sadly, they didn't have their own toilets.  So I had to go upstairs to the hotel and use their publicly available bathrooms.  That was awkward, just because... well why go somewhere and use their facilities without buying something?

* - May not have ACTUALLY
been Dick Van Dyke.
** - True Story

So I went back down and handed it in with a form I had to fill out, and waited.  That was when Dick Van Dyke* came out and invited me in to the doctors office.

He was a lovely fella, telling me interesting things about his family and how he has more grandkids coming, between asking me about my medical history.

Then he had to do the physical stuff.  He asked me to strip down to my undies and then stand against the wall for my height.  Then he told me to take a seat, and he tested my respiration and prodded me here and there to test my reactions.

Then he laid me down and asked me to pull down my underwear.  He then proceeded to fondle my testicles.  I'm sure that's a test of testicular cancer, or any deformities that I may not have known about, but I still lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking "Dick Van Dyke is fondling my plums.  Don't get an erection.  Don't get an erection.  Don't get an erection.**"  We concluded and I walked home, starstruck, and continuing the mantra until I got home and spoke to my soon-to-be wife and said I loved her and kept her spirits high until I told her what had happened.

Which only raised her spirits so high that she fell off the bed laughing.

Time went and we waited longer and longer, our patience as thin as possible as it could have gone without doing a loud snap that would wake up every sleeping person in and against the Pacific Ocean.  We had gotten a taste of victory and needed more like a crack addict in a... crack house.

*ahem*  I'll just let that run away on me.

But we had waited a little too long waiting for my Police Certificate, so I sent in a request for an extension, a one time effect, and surprisingly we found that they approved it!  Relieved as we were, we had to find out where the Police Certificate was.

So I made call after call, asking straight forward questions to no avail.  It wasn't until I looked through the White Pages that I called a number to the Police HQ and found that the Certificate had already been sent down to the Embassy.

I chucked quite the spack attack as I hulked out after I hung up the phone.  I didn't know it was going straight there!  And it had apparently been there for weeks!  So all I had to do was send down the rest of my stuff and organise the fuggin interview.

All quickly organised, I got my date: 18th February.  Flights were organised as was accommodation with my fantastic cousin, Trent, and his wonderful wife, Michelle (Who cooks a cracker of a dinner), and directions were also gathered to actually get me to the MLC Centre.

I faffed about on the train, carrying my little bag, enjoying the scenery and thinking about all the interesting stuff that Jenny would splooge over, namely the buildings that are all a bit different to what she's used to.  Jennys a big fan of architecture, so much that she even dreams about it.

So I take note of some interesting sights that Jenny would enjoy on the train from Flemington Station, and meander my way down to the MLC Centre for my interview, waiting in a rather arbitrary waiting room with a television tuned to an American channel, noting the stars and stripes adorning the nearest wall, and wondering what the security will do with my stuff down on level 10 now that I was on level 47.

But sooner than later, the lovely lady who was to interview me called me over and asked a few questions about our history.  "Where did you two meet", "How long have you been together", "How often have you two visited each other", "Can you pull that pen out of your nose".

Nerves, you know?

But I was left with one bit of advice.  By midnight that night, I had to sign up to an Embassy Website so that I was able to get my stuff back.  Which included my Passport.  Which I had to leave there with them.

I wasn't going to leave the country any time soon.

But in the mean time I had the city of Sydney to faff about in.  I wandered about, taking a couple of photos for Jenny before my phone died, such as the park right near the train station, and wandering down to near the river to stop at a pub for a couple of lonely pints of cider until my flight home was due.

Funny enough, the wedding ring is on the left.
... I went big early.

The last leg laid ahead of us.  All we had to do wait for the final word to say "You have our good graces, please enjoy the trip."

A little while later, we had word.  And I began figuring out what I was going to take, and how I was going to take it.  I packed up all the essentials, Clothes, my Xbox, a few books, my PSP, my IKRPG core rulebook, then minimize what Warmachine models I wanted to leave with and fill the rest of that bag with the goodies I had to take for Jenny.  There were so many Tim Tams, I tell ya.

Then there was work. I attended every shift available and had a five day stretch right up until my flight on March 10, a Monday morning.  It was a good plan. I would naturally be super exhausted as soon as I step onto that 14 hour flight to LAX, on an aisle seat too so I would just nod off as soon as I stake my seat.

And that's pretty much what happened.  And I suffered for that, because for a better part of the month after I arrived, I was quite dehydrated.  I would be drinking water half a dozen bottles at a time, mostly because the tap water looks far too suspicious when it is full of sedentary and it slowly, and I mean slowly, floats up to the top.

But I was there... Or here, as the case may be.  My partner of four fucking years was finally standing in front of me.  And there would be no time limit to being together.

Well, so long as we got married, of course.

We were well prepared, some clothes were needed for me, but otherwise everything was prepared. The only problem?  It was still very evidently Winter.

St Paddys day.  On the beach at South Haven.  Where the wind was so lazy that it didn't bother going around you, it just went straight through you and chilled you to the bone.

But that didn't stop us.  We declared our love and made a stand by throwing a rock each into the sea. Mine got stuck in the ice.  But Crikey we were happy to finally get into Jenny's parents car with the heat blasting.  I've never been so happy to get into heat.

The next plan was to get me a job, but that was after adding a few amenities, such as adding me to Jenny's bank account, to which we discovered that I need a social security number.  We were under the assumption that I would walk right off the plane into a job.  We were wrong.

Since then, it's been more waiting for the Government to send me the approval so I can finally get some income.

In the mean time, I have a small dog that I have to take care of, and a wife to feed, and an apartment to maintain.  Things could be much worse.  I could still be in Australia and not finally living with my partner of 4 and a half years.

Month One

My bags were packed with the Essentials. Clothes, Xbox, Miniatures, IKRPG Rulebook, and then all the bits and bobs I was gifting to Jenny.  Mostly various Australian Chocolates,
I left my place in a shambles.  My room was a mess, shit all around, particularly my clothes that I didn't want any more, and the dishes were left on the shelves... I wasn't going to get my bond back.
Luckily I lived with Mum, and she has a dishwasher and kids to help her drop shit off at the lifeline bin.
(I'm a terrible son.  She still loves me though.)
But I went to work, the fifth shift of the week working at the bar Cloudland, and had a nice farewell from the boys.  They said they'd miss me, and they would put the new Glassy Supervisor through the Prison Trials.
The Man, The Legend, the God, Super Dave, drove me back to mine and then to the Airport.  He's going to be in Canada in the next few years, so he's going to make a trip down to the 'Zoo one day and we're going to go out and celebrate.
Stepping onto the plane felt... emotional.  It possibly could have been from the fact that it was hitting me that I was leaving my home that I know well and love, or that everything is finally happening, that I will finally be with Jenny.  Or it could have been that I had one too many hugs with Dave as he dropped me off.
But I was leaving home to finally be with Jenny.  The first leg in a series of hours in reaching my new home, a place called Kalamazoo.
Still, after four years, it still sounds like a town from out west from Brisbane.
The flight itself was long and uncomfortable.  14 hours from Brisneyland to LAX to wait six hours before going to Chicago, a four hour flight, and a few more hours before the embarking on the final 25 minute flight to Kalamazoo.
It's still a strange sensation though to leave Monday morning at 10:30 and arrive 10:30 that night.
There she was though.  Waiting for me with a massive grin on her face.

Censorship at it's subtlest.

The month has been quite a holiday. Playing/Teaching with Taz, catching up with Mum over skype, and visiting people while making myself comfortable here in 'Murica.
The bad news?  I need a Social Security number.  For Everything.  And to get a SIN- I mean SSN - I need to get a Green Card.  Whereas Jenny and I were under the preconception that I would be able to walk off the plane and go straight into working at a Bar that'll appreciate my accent.  Sadly, the situation is not that simple.
But we're working on that.  The paperwork is going in today and I should be all sorted.
The biggest thing that everyone continues to as about is the Wedding.
The plan was simple: Wedding on the beach on St Paddys day.  We would get what we want, which was getting married on the Beach, an Australian-esque setting, and it would end up being at the closest beach we had, South Haven on Lake Michigan.  Then, instead of a normal reception, we would just go on a Pub Crawl.  And because it was St Paddys day, there would be plenty of people drinking with us, probably buying for us because we were just married.
But whenever anyone asks how the wedding was, the first thing I say is "Cold."  Y'see, the winter hadn't quite left yet.  So the beach was frozen over still, and the wind chill could force a Grolar to pack its bags and head back home.

The lead up was fun, getting me clothed and prepared for the day ahead.  My biggest contribution was my choice of tie, something that was outrageous enough to match my attitude, without completely ruining the ensemble.  And I believe I achieved that.
The lunch on the day was nice, we drove back from South Haven and dined at a lovely Italian restaurant in town, down the road from the Hotel Jenny and I would be staying at that night.
It's about now that I will say before I forget that this was all gifted from Jennys Parents, excessively generous people, if you haven't already guessed.  I can't even begin...
But the Lunch/Dinner (Lunner?) did both Jenny and I in.  We immediately were overwhelmed by that comfortable tired feeling that a pasta does when you devour it, so sadly the idea of a Pub Crawl failed to be attended by the guests of honour.
It was a good day none the less.
But now I sit here, somewhat bored by cooking, cleaning, dog sitting and playing GTAV, and wondering what kind of job I can get once I'm allowed to, while also playing in an online Bloodbowl League led by an old Warmachine Buddy, going out to have fun with Jenny and her Family, and posting funny Memes of Ron Swanson onto Facebook.
That'll change sooner or later.

I have to be honest

I've actually been down in Venezuela saving the local populous from aliens while holding back military organizations with volunteers from Britain, Poland, and several planets with a convergent evolution to Earth that high ranking officials have the privilege of knowing.

The devastation has been largely covered up by a group effort including a hacking system to covering satellites, and generation of word and mouth stories coupled with local media setups.

The reason I'm telling you this is that you may not hear from me again as I am entering a cybernetics program to improve my battle potential, while continuing an extravaganza of social media information for everyone to continue their belief that I am still well.

I don't have long, so I'll make this quick.

This is a terrible April fools joke. I love you jenny. I'll never do this again.

Farewell, Adieu, Auf Wiedersehen, and Goodbye, Australia

Today is the day I move. I leave Australia for an a long time to live with the love of my life. At the time of this post, I should be boarding onto my plane from Brisbane if I haven't already left the tarmac.
I'm going to miss Brisneyland.  The familiar rolling hills, the smell of eucalyptus that occasionally wafts through me when I'm outside, and the general comfort of knowing that I am surrounded by people I know and care for.
But time for comfort is over.  I am uprooting myself for the greater good, for a greater future for myself and Jennifer.  I have spent the last few weeks, excited and panicky, about going to the US. Getting my stuff together, doubly making sure everything is correct, and answering everyone's questions about how excited I am to see her.  That, and working my arse off over the past week. I worked right up until this morning!  I may actually be a little drunk too.  My work mates are good to me, getting me ready to sleep on that plane.
But then all my mates are good to me.  And I love that.  That they're all happy that I'm going to the US to be with Jenny, and that they'll be keeping track of everything through Facebook and Twitter.  Especially when Jenny and I get Hitched on St Paddys day.
For those who wonder what the long term goal is, it will be to return to Australia. I do love it here and, frankly, I feel much safer and I want Jenny to have that feeling too.

Until then guys, thank you for looking after me and I hope to see you all soon, whether through internet or in person.

HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS JENNIFER! FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Guys.  Four years.  FOUR FUCKING YEARS.  Can you fucking believe it?  It's fucking MADNESS!

I'm still trying to fucking absorb it. And we're so fucking close to actually being in the same fucking place too.  I have the fucking Medical Docs ($555 fucking dollars later) and the fucking Police Certificate is in the fucking mail.  Then there's sending down the fucking documents and fuckingprinting everything in fucking triplicate to prepare for the fucking interview.

It's fucking blowing my mind that we're so FUCKING CLOSE!

I'm sick of this fucking waiting game, but I'm fucking waiting some fucking more because for fuck sake it's fucking worth it.

I'm working my fucking arse off, and fucking enjoying it because being a Glassy is fun as fuck. Fucking simple, easy and since I started in June I've lost about 10 fucking kilos.  It's all water weight, but fuck it, that's 10 kgs that have fucked off!

Fucking Great!  I fucking love you Jennifer.  Here's to another four fucking years.

2013

The other day I had a chat with a mutual friend of mine and Jenny's. he messages me out of the blue to say how he gets a warm fuzzy feeling from the deeply buried hopeless romantic in him when he sees the two of us on Facebook.

He said that though all the fugly news in the world makes him question those certain choices he made, he looks at the two of us and feels a difference in his world, how our existence together from all the miles and across our different cultures is a tribute to the fragile sweetness of a human existence.

I was stunned. And I really didn't know what to say, but I bumbled out some sort of conversation with him. But it really hit my own romantic side. Thinking about how Jenny and I met, what adventures we've had, the adventures to be.

I'm going to move there this year. It's taking longer than expected, and technically there is a chance I won't be accepted into the country as a resident, but I remain hopelessly optimistic. Because I want more adventures with Jenny.

It's been three and a half years since I took a risk on meeting new people, oblivious to the idea of finding the woman I would be spending my life with, and spending the rest of my Christmas talking to a beautiful foreign girl not only for our six weeks of holiday, but every day since.

Telling stories, mixing cultures, learning new things about each other and our day to day lives. Something we still do to this day.

Its been a little less than three years since we first actually met. Stepping out and seeing her across the rotunda, smiling and waiting for me. That slight awkwardness of not knowing what to do. Then trying our best not to run to her car, and speed down the highway to her apartment.

So I could sleep, that is. It's a bitch of a flight.

It's been less than two years since I visited again. Celebrating her birthday. Spending time with her and her family and friends. Keeping our time together simple, but meaningful.

It's been almost a year since I last saw Jenny. She came to Australia and we packed in as much as possible into the two weeks she was here. Australia zoo; movie world and sea world; trying new foods she never had before; seeing her friends and mine, and my family.

Today marks a year since I proposed to Jenny. The love of my life. My soulmate. My fiancé. My soon to be wife.

I love you Jennifer. Forever and always.

Anniversary, Not Mensiversary

You know, there is a story that I have that I have told over and over again.  It's succinct, but the meaning behind that story has been a pivotal source of my life.

And three years to the day, that still applies.  I have been up, I have been down.  I have been across the world, and I have been host to an amazing woman.

I love you Jennifer.  I am happy that you have stayed with me for so long, and I can't wait to see more of our years together.

TAFE is Over

Its been 12 days of fun.  Over the last six weeks I've been learning how to operate a bar, how to make coffee's using the machine, how I should serve drinks, and identifying the correct glasses for what drinks, and now Mum's nagging me about making her some Fluffy Ducks.

Which I found has quite a few different variants.  Mum and I are going to try Cointreau, Advocaat, and Lemonade in the near future.  Should be fun.  Or terrible.  I'll report the results on facebook sooner or later.  At worst, I'm sure we can figure out other things to do with Cointreau and Advocaat.

The funniest part is that we've got some Highball glasses, but they're Sesame Street glasses.  So they'll be cute Fluffy Ducks.

But today we came across something interesting.  Our Teacher brought in some Junkmail, a thing for Dan Murphys, and it had a particularly expensive range of drinks.  One of which was particulary special.

The picture to the side is of the Johnnie Walker Queens Jubilee Scotch.  It's only a small, but gorgeous, bottle, containing a 60 year old Scotch.  And the price?  $200,000.  There are only 60 bottles in the world.

I wish I could get a whiff of that.

Where I'm headed

There have been some changes in my life of late, and I haven't told many people about them because some are a bit embarrassing, and others just aren't set in stone so I just don't want to get people excited until they are, but I just want to let it out what I want to do.

We'll start off back in July where I left my work.  The reason behind it was pretty straight forward: I was tired of it.  It was the same thing that I was doing 6 years ago, and it was very evident that I was burnt out.  So it was high time that I left.

Now it wasn't quite a dead end job.  Granted, there wasn't any different work for me to do because all positions in the 15-man company were filled up.  They literally couldn't give me any work.

Though they did give me the opportunity to advance myself a long time ago.  I was told I could ask the directors to pay for school if I went back to TAFE, and when I asked they happily said "Bring in the doco's and we'll organise your timetable."

Where I stopped was a lack of direction.  I didn't know what I wanted to do, and I didn't know where to look.  So I basically didn't bother.  I've been writing on here for quite a few years and it's all a bunch of crap in my opinion, very misdirected and loses momentum quickly and drops off without making any real point.  I'm aware of that and I put that down to my memory as I get halfway through an analogy and forget what my point was going to be, half of which I have trouble putting into words in the first place.

I'm working on that.  I've got drafts here and there with little notes about what I want to talk about, narrowing down subjects so I can elaborate on them throughout some big post that I want to make for when I get the motivation to write it up.  Not to mention I have a drawerful of writing pads and art pads that aren't being used, so what better way to use them than to put a pen in the ring spine, carry it with me and write up whenever I get an idea.

But back when I had the opportunity to go to TAFE, funded by my employers, I didn't take it up.  Cos I was silly and unmotivated to really get myself anywhere.

Now it's been six years and I'm unemployed, looking for work, and finally getting my finger out for TAFE.  But I'm not doing a writing course.  I've signed up for a Bar and Gaming course so I could get an RSA.  I chose to do this because 1: It's a Practical Skill that can be used anywhere.  If I were to go to America and stay with Jenny, I could easily get a job in a pub or bar.  I'm also looking at doing a MYOB course as well, but I need to wait a bit before I can actually afford it.

And 2: I am going to try and go to the 'Zoo to live with Jenny.  It's been almost 3 years we've been in a relationship, and we've spent almost 2 months together.  And it's getting harder and harder every day.

With my lack of job, it seemed the best opportunity for me to start somewhat afresh and look into going there until such time that we can return here.  I'm still not sure what all the little details are, like who I have to see, what documents I have to get and where to get them from, and finances are a big thing too.  Centrelink is a modest income, and it's getting me by, but it's not going to fund me all the way there.  So I will be pulling a few favours here and there from close friends and family.

That's where I am at the moment.  Aside from rambling about the games that I've been playing lately, and trying to apply for Temp Jobs, that's been about it for the past three months.  I'll be contacted by a Job Placement agency soon, I bet, to discuss Temp Work options, which would be nice.

I may also see about getting a second hand pushbike.  Start riding around the area and do some actual exercise aside from cleaning up around the house.  Its been ages since I've actually ridden a pushbike.  I still remember the last time I did though, I got out of breath so quickly surprised me immensely.  I also went through about 3 Bikes because they kept breaking on me.  Very frustrating, and luckily I got my money back.

But yeah.  That's my story to date.

Jennicki in Brissy - Day 4 - 30 May

It pretty much explains itself

Australia Zoo Day.  This is the day that Jenny had been waiting for all her life, to indulge in their cuddlyness and cuteness of Koalas.  Anything else was just a bonus.  She knew what she was there for.

Y'see, Jenny has had a fondness for our little eucalypt monsters since she was a kiddilywink, and there wasn't a day that went by, in the time coming up to the trip, that she didn't mention how excited she was to finally cuddle a koala.  It seemed like I was just a formality.

Naturally we had to get there first, which was really quite easy.  First we get a bus out to the most available train station, Zillmere, take the train to Caboolture, then take the bus out to the Zoo.

Sounds simple, no?  Too bad it takes about 2 hours in total to get out there.  It's a good thing that there was a lot for Jenny to look at on the way, especially on the bus ride from Caboolture.  It was annoying though, because Jenny had her camera with her and we were passing the Glass House Mountains, but every time we saw them, they were gone just as quick.  Which is annoying when we were trying to take a photo of old Monkey Face.

Later, a lady on the bus gave us a tap on the shoulder and said that Jenny could get a good photo as we were coming up to a particular bridge going over a road that I wanted to call the Bruce Highway, but it wasn't.

Then we arrived.  It took one blink of the eye to see Jenny get off the bus and pull out the camera and take photos of just signs and trees and one of the Australia Zoo Staff who drive a minibus to one of the nearby stations.

Again, I was feeling like a bit of a third wheel while she drooled over the man in khaki.

Once I passed her a towel to wipe her chin, we began the walk into the Zoo itself.  I retrieved our tickets and we quickly had a wander over to the Gift Shop so Jenny could pick things out for gifts, and then tick them off if we found anything better later on.  Naturally I played silly buggers to recoup my place as the charming and funny boyfriend.

After such success, we began our walk through the brush and aimed for the one thing we really needed: Breakfast.  It was lunchtime by now, but damnit we were hungry.  But not so hungry to not stare at the leather skinned Alligators we walked past on the bridge.  We sat there for a good 10 or 15 minutes, taking photos, and wondering how quickly a feral Bush Turkey, a bird wandering around the grounds freely, would change its tune if it were dangled above the pit.

We were happily walking along, enjoying the foliage and more of me being eaten by creatures, until we were stopped and I was dropped like a bad habit because, you guessed it, she saw a Koala.

It's the most exciting moment of Jennys life

Reports from friends and certain family members about them being feral and terrifying and annoying and just downright unappealing.  But then you get a bit jaded when you've had them in your life from a young age.

But horror stories of any kind never put Jenny off at all.  She wanted to take him home and hug him and kiss him and squeeze him with all her heart.  Myself, three croc handlers and an Elephant Tranquiliser later, she was settled down and reassured that she would get to cuddle one later, after we had a walk around and especially after we had something to eat.

That wasn't so easy a plan to accomplish.  You see, Australia Zoo tries to be as stereotypical as can be imagined.  Not quite Paul Hogan level, but with enough -isms floating about on signs and such, it's hard to get the camera away from Jenny's face.

There was good that came out of it.  Jenny caught children in Uniform and remarked on their school hats; two girls holding a baby croc posed for her; and the fella holding a large snake offered her a hold which she giggled and shied away from, naturally.  And more of me playing silly buggers, of course.

Eventually she decided she was more hungry than photographer, and we made our way upstairs to the food court.  This was a new opportunity to get Jenny to try an Aussie Burger.

Sadly, she didn't go for it today.  I did and was only a little disappointed that there wasn't any pineapple.

We spent lunch fending off dumpster ducks and bush turkeys while admiring the large wood slice tables they had in the court.  They were very cool, and I kinda wished I could have one for my own home one day.  It'd be cool to have an office in that style.  I'm sure I've ranted about that before today.

Then we had to fill in time.  Jenny was getting desperate to hold a Koala, and we found the area where we were allowed to let Jenny hold one.  Under strict supervision, of course.  So we just had to faff around for about an hour and a bit.

Happily, there's plenty to do at Aus Zoo.  Like seeing the sheep mowing an area of lawn, and the petting zoo.  Jenny was delighted to see all the Goats just climbing the small platforms and staring at her blankly, while I enjoyed the piglets who were all too excited to just run around and round and squeal incessantly in their pen.  It was about this time that we found out about the croc show which was soon.

We wandered a little further away and saw the Camels gnawing away at a rather naked tree before returning to the Food Court and taking our seat to the croc show, where we laughed at the small flock of ducks waddling around the pool which hid an interesting white croc.  As we learnt, he wasn't albino, he was actually a white croc.

Then it was time.  Time to finally hold a Koala.  Jenny is a great smiler.  And if you saw the photos, you'd never see a smile bigger except in caricatures.

It took her a while to let go, but her life was now complete, fulfilled to the brim.  And to top it off, a few of the Dingo's were being walked about and Jenny whispered a few baby eating jokes.

Now it was time to really begin the excursion.  With camera in hand, she took photos of everything.  From encased spiders and creepy crawlies, to the long walls of tributes and memorials to Steve Irwin.  She was practically in tears at how much people loved him.

Then came one of the biggest surprises of the day for Jenny.

"It was heaven"

Jenny wasn't expecting Roo Heaven.  Sure, she was expecting Kangaroos, but not in an open enclosure where you could walk up to them and pet them and feed them.

The excitement was palpable.  She didn't know what to do with herself.  We spent a good few minutes disappointing a hungry kangaroo so we could take photos of Jenny with it while it looked around with someone with feed in their hands.

We let it move on and moved on to watch the short beaked Echidna's do laps around their enclosure; the wallabies stare at us from atop it's rock; and watch more Kangaroo's laze about while the bush turkeys wandered about doing whatever it is they do.  Aside from poop everywhere.

Our travels moved on to The Wetlands, where the Jabiru's plotted against us, Bruce Brolga (real name) remained adamant in keeping himself parked in the wrong area while he cleaned himself, the one Emu we saw refused to look at us, and I pointed out a few bottle brushes here and there.

Once we circled around, we were on to the Koala Walk.  Jenny was calm and collected as we walked around the Koalas in the trees and saw more Kangaroo's jumping about the open seating area that led into the Aviary, where i pointed out as many different birds as were flapping about.  Even saw a very silent and still Kookaburra.  It wouldn't be a few days until Jenny finally got to hear a Kookaburra making his morning laugh.

Then it would be my favourite area: The Wallabies.  And quite frankly, it was because we saw one scratching its arse on a wall.  Life's simple pleasures, y'know.

After was life's simple squirms.  Namely Snakes.  They were behind glass and I don't think any of them were moving, but Jenny was still feeling nervious watching them.  They're snakes after all.  The coolest thing I found about it was the snake skeleton wrapped around a tree and attacking a small pig (I think it was a pig).

By this time, we had finally circled the Zoo.  We had completely left out the Africa area, because Jenny said "Well, I can see african animals at home, so why see them here".  I looked at the map, and found there was a maze of small enclosures that we had completely missed filled with Taz Devils, more Dingos and a Cassowary.  Crimeny that's a weird bird.  No wonder it's so vicious.

After a few more photos of Koalas and a few pickups at the gift shop, we began the trip home.  I was clever enough to call mum and have her pick us up on the way.  And get Pizza on the way home.  It was too good an opportunity.

Jennicki in Brissy - Day 3 - 29 May

"My first Go Card."

Oh Tuesday.  It's a day after that wretched bastard Monday, and a day before the lady lumps of Wednesday.  And where I started showing off my sexy girlfriend.

Again, we rose late, but not too late.  It wasn't quite midday when we got out of bed, but it wasn't far off, and we planned on making the long bus ride over to Windsor for Lunch.

Now normally for me to get to my work, I have to take two busses.  First to the Royal Brisbane Women's Hospital, then another one around the corner which drops me practically on the door front of work.

Rather than take a second bus and risk stirring up Jennys motion sickness, I suggested we walk.  It's not a far distance, probably about ten minutes saunter, and it showed off some of the more interesting side of Windsor.  Like the Organic Nursery just around the corner from Hungry Jacks, and the nice houses along the street we walked up.  She was in awe at how if given a bit of elevation, you can see some of the Hills of Brisbane, and even the mountains in the distance.  Even with the rather muggy weather.

But we were getting hungry, and Harrys Diner was just around the corner.  And right outside my work, too.

Jenny has laughed at Harrys Diner before today, and she still laughs at it now just a little, but she was excited to see it.  "An American Themed Restaurant?  This will be hilarious!" she cried.  "I must laugh at their attempts at impersonating my own dear restaurants!"  That opinion changed very quickly.  I had a Rib Fillet Burger, an old favourite, but Jenny ordered a signature dish: The Harry Dog.

"Omg, this hot dog was amazing!
It even had bacon on it."

Jenny loves her hot dogs, she even got excited when I asked to get some hot dogs and root beer from that little place across the 'Zoo (I forgot the name of it, sorry dear).  And frankly, they weren't quite what I was expecting.  They were smaller, to start.  Compact, even.  Onion was diced, which was nice.  The cheese was a sauce, which boggled my mind.  And there was a bit of tomato sauce in there too.

Hot Dogs at Harrys were different.  The buns and sausages were larger; the onion wasn't dice, it was also fried; the cheese wasn't like a sauce, and it was warm and melted over the hot dog itself; and it had bacon bits in it too, to top it off; And naturally it had a lovely zig zag of tomato sauce and mustard.

By the end of lunch Jenny had to say to James, the owner, that it reminded her of home.  Needless to say, James is very happy to have Jenny back.

Then it was time to introduce her to my Work.  I was a bit nervous, as I wasn't sure what kind of questions they'd ask.  But really, what were they going to ask?  Whether I was any good in bed?

But no, we plowed through the questions they had, and Jenny told how excited she was to be there and everything.  A few weird questions were asked, like something about "Nightmare before Xmas", but otherwise it was great and we began our walk to Windsor Station for our last couple of stops at Toombul and Nundah.

Now surely Jenny wasn't going to get sick taking the Train.  There aren't any hills, pot holes, or even round-abouts to get thrown about in.  So luckily that's not what happened!  It wasn't until we reached Toombul that she pulled out the camera again to take a happy snappy of a bunch of kids who had just finished school.  "It's like Hogwarts!" she said.

Now today was the day that Jenny was going to see an Australian Target.  A long walk around and check it out, we would catch up with one of my friends "Del", who requested we see her Target store rather than the despicable Chermside store, before continuing on to browse the rest of Toombul.

To summarise, Jenny popped her Target Cherry with my friend.  Now where's that Rimshot.

As we enjoyed the afterglow, Jenny and I did a hunt for DVD's.  Jenny has wanted to see Australian shows for ages, and the only thing she has been able to get her hands on is Outrageous Fortune which I procured and provided to her.  So this was her best chance at getting something.

We hunted for what seemed like minutes to find names to remember until a time closer to Jennys departure.  But we settled on Underbelly, one recommended to her by many friends, and Packed to the Rafters, a show I thought she might like.  I had seen an episode or two and thought it was something she would enjoy.  So why not.

After our somewhat poor attempt at hunting, we moved on to our next destination in the next suburb over: Nundah Village.  I have a friend there, Paul, and on Tuesday Nights I go to visit Paul at his shop and play Board games and Card games.  Tonight was no exception, but had the inclusion of Jenny.  But before that, we had to have dinner.  And I knew just the thing to have.

Jenny laughed at me when I first said Kebab.  Then she asked me to say it again and she laughed harder.

"What?  What's so funny?"
"It's Kabob"
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"Wait, hold the phone.  We might be talking about something completely different."

Turns out we were.  And it's a good thing too, because Jenny had never had a Kebab before.  So just a small chicken one sufficed her for this new experience.  Twas good, was her response.  And I smiled, because if we ever go out on a bar crawl, I can know that she will enjoy a kebab with me, along with sexy kebab kisses afterwards.

Twas after that we caught up with one of my workmates and moved over to Fastbreak, aka: Paul's Shop.

Even the greatest super heros
have trouble with hygiene.

Jenny knows of this place as a Nerd Hole, a place where nerdy things happen.  And it's true.  I can't deny that.  Because we were going to play strange board games and card games for the night.  She was entertained at our eclectic group as well, ranging from an 8 year old boy with Arthritis in his ankle, to a sixty year old ex-army man, and everything in between.  Including a Pseuper Hero.  _{(That's me trying to be clever.)}

I had asked Mentos man to attend tonight because... Well you can't get the real impact of him until you see him in person.  And crimeny Jenny enjoyed it.  Mentos man even brought along a few new additions, such as the belt buckle and the bandolier pictured, and a wrist launcher which he fashioned out of tubes, springs and a gauntlet from somewhere within Bargain City.

Jenny couldn't stop laughing.  Except for when a tube of Mentos were shot across the room at me.  That was when she got shocked before laughing again.

By nine O'clock, Jenny had had enough.  We had gamed the night away, with a few board games and a many rounds of Viewpoint, Jenny was starting to loll her head around from exhaustion, and we made a break for home.

And we had to go home early anyway.  Tomorrow was Australia Zoo day.

Jennicki in Brissy - Day 2 - 28 May

"See how the light shines on the mall?
Like heaven shining down on consumerism"

It was a crisp Monday Morning, Sparrows farting until the the birds began yelling away at whatever the hell was rising over the horizon, and the gentle whisper of "Matt, Matt".

Up goes my head and there's mum whispering around the corner of the door.

"Can you come out here please?"

I clamber over a very sleepy Jenny to Mum in a bit of a panic. Her GoCard, that little card that holds her journey from home to work, was AWOL. And Mum didn't have any cash.

Jenny climbed out in a sleepy haze and helped with the search around the house for the elusive device, but to no avail. Lifting and searching and furrowing through everything that we could to find my necklace half hiding under the couch.

Luckily, we had an alternative. Kel and Tash happily provided Jenny and I a spare GoCard so Jenny could get around relatively cheaply. Works out to be about $2 a trip.

So to allow Mum to get to work we gave mum the card so she could get to work, while Jenny used the Pretty Money she collected yesterday on her way through the Duty Free section.

In the mean time, Jenny and I went back to bed and slept in until about Midday.  Because that's what you do the morning after your first bloody long overseas plane trip.

The day was taken easy too.  We were slow to rise from the warm envelope of the bed sheets, but we struggled our way to getting ready for our excursion to Chermside for lunch and a Movie.

Now, the thought of introducing my partner to a Shopping Centre seems a weird thing to do.  And that's a fair first thought since America is lauded for it's Shopping Malls as the popular teenage hangout.  Upon visiting one of the larger Malls of the 'Zoo, I was surprised to find it a little vacant.  Though that had something to do with the time period we attended.

Chermside was relatively vacant since it was a Monday day and children weren't allowed out of class except those who decided to wag.  But that was convenient since we didn't want to wade through the throngs of shoppers, and have Jennys various photos disrupted by the head of an oblivious passerby, giving us a strange looks as if we were some sort of spectacle to behold.

This was summarised by a friend: "They were looking because you're the first non-asian they've seen taking photos of a shopping centre"

But lunch was to be had.  We hadn't eaten anything for breakfast since we simply prepared ourselves and ran to the bus stop, had a crash course in Pretty Money, and Bussed our way through Jennys Motion sickness to our destination, where she quickly took a happy snap of the Police Beat placed out the front.

Little did she know it was primarily for one of the local franchise swill holes: Gilhooleys.

"We totally had to have lunch at the Irish Pub"

Now, I've never really heard a good thing about a Gilhooleys.  But Jenny wanted to go to an Australian-Irish Pub.  So fair enough, we went there and had our Lunch.

For Jenny a Chicken Caesar Salad, a food I could hardly see wrapped around the head of a Roman Dictator.  And a Fettucine Carbonara for myself.  Italian is kinda like Irish, right?

Our friend was disappointed. "you guys managed to order the two things I despise... plus why are you eating at gilhoolies if your not ordering a braised beef guiness pie FFS... Medway... this is all your fault"

Yep.  I'll cop that on the chin.  I didn't even think that the menu at Gilhooleys had even looked at an Irishman before, let alone had any food cooked to the theme.

But we enjoyed our overpriced meal as best we could.  Jenny didn't quite get through her whole salad so I finished it off well after my own Pasta was licked clean off the plate. Note: I didn't actually lick the plate, but damn if it wasn't tempting.

After lunch, our excursion through the shopping centre began, along with the gawking of what few strangers there were.  While we didn't get very far, we did take in the two sights that Jenny was very keen to see: Wendys and Target.  The 'Zoo has these establishments, however Wendys is actually a franchise Burger Restaurant, rather than an Ice Cream and Hotdog shop, and Target... well it's Target.

But she was most impressed by the hanging advertisement screen above the Cold Rock Ice Creamery.  It's nothing particularly special to myself, so I'll leave the description of awe to Jenny herself, while I move onto our Cinema experience.

"The movie theater! They actually give you an
assigned seat when you buy a ticket."

Jenny was undoubtably impressed by the size and design of the outside.  Then shocked and appalled when she saw the prices.  I assured her that the price gouging isn't the same everywhere, and that next time we would make a plan to go to the Imax Cinema at South Bank, where the prices are more reasonable and the screens are enormous.

The movie of choice though was the new Sasha Baron Cohen film, "The Dictator".  I can assure Mother Michelle* that while it's no Meatspin, it's still shocking where he loses his phone.

* Note: Must get Michelle a Habit for her Birthday.

The evening ended a little later than we had expected and we got home to a laughing Mum.  She was a little embarrassed at herself, but she was always one to laugh at the silliest things.

Such as where she left her GoCard, of which the realisation came to her during the day.  Through all our hard work early this morning, we missed the one spot that Mum had actually sworn she had already checked:  Between the envelopes she pulled out of the letter box yesterday.

We forgave her.  Especially since she made dinner.

Jennicki In Brissy - Day 1 - 27 May

In the two years and seven months that I have known Jenny, I have never seen a smile as big as hers. And I can remember the smile from when I first met her in person. She was smiling ear to ear. This time, her head was close to falling off.

That's what you get when you spend 12 days in a country you have been dreaming of since you were a kid. And I feel like AM the luckiest guy in the world to be part of her motivation to follow through on the act, and to escort her around Brisbane with the help of many of our friends.

I'll never forget waking up at Sparrows Fart o'clock on Sunday and getting myself dressed to pick up Jenny from the Airport with Mum. The trip was entertaining in itself. Mum and I driving down the highway, little idea what we should be looking out for, when suddenly I looked ahead and said to Mum "The Gateway Bridge, it's a bit close isn't it?"

Sure enough, it was. So over we went, and down the other side, through the e-toll gate and over the overpass, and back through the e-toll gate and then back down Southern Cross way, which Mum actually recognises.

That was when I started to Panic. Jenny was going to be at the airport, wasn't she. She was going to be waiting around looking for me and starting to think "He has forgotten about me and abandoned me" or something like that. She's going to be freaking out.

But no, it was half seven when Mum and I arrived. I bolted straight to the gate while Mum waited in the loading bay, the both of us thinking she will be fine waiting for a half hour or something.

A few minutes later, Mum calls me. "I can't wait in the loading bay, what should I do?"
"Go park, Mum"
"I don't know where it is!"
"There are signs, Mum. Should be one just as you leave the loading bay, or just as you come back in."

Sure enough, she quickly got her parking spot and joined me at the gate. Jenny hadn't come out yet, and it was past 8. I was panicking again. Have I missed her? Did she come out and I can't find her in the throng of people here? Or is she still in there and is lost since it's a very different place to America?

Turns out, her and the rest of the plane were held back, Quarantined, so to speak, because someone was Ill on the entire 14 hour flight from LAX. (One could not blame them. The smog will take your childrens lives, given the chance.)

Clever old me decided to make the announcement on Facebook that Jenny was finally here, and that she was Quarantined for a little bit.

Little did I know, that offhand comment caused a flurry of laughter and, more stressfully, worry. Jennys Mom and her Brother didn't quite understand the little joke, but luckily were easy to relieve after I told them what had actually happened.

It was a nice Sunday, and Jenny had about 3 hours sleep over the past 24+ hours. I had only had about 5 hours myself, which usually puts me into Zombie mode if it weren't for my excitement. But Jenny and I got to mine, I introduced her to the house we would (mostly) be staying at, and we crawled into bed for a couple hours of nap.

She couldn't sleep though. Why? Because she thought that someone was whistling outside the window.

"What?"
"Can you hear it? Someone's whistling!"
"I don't know wha-"
*Bird Whistle* (I'll get back to you on what bird it is)
"Ohhhh, that's a bird, babe."
"REALLY?!"

Back in the 'Zoo, you don't get that sort of background noise. I always knew something was off when I visited there, just something niggling in the back of my mind that something was missing that made Kalamazoo different, but little did I suspect that it would be the bloody birds.

Little did I realise before that day was that there was a festival on at Mcpherson Park. Every fourth Sunday of the Month the Miniature Steam Trains start running on the rails that were set back in '94, and the B-Ridge Central Lions Club run them along with a bunch of stalls and, much to my surprise, a concert stage. I thought it was perfect for such a nice day to go for a walk and get some lunch, since it was about 1pm before Jenny and I got up from our Nap.

It was an easy choice: Go to the Fish and Chip shop. Jenny wanted to try more fish, and she hasn't really had something like Fish and Chips before. Luckily, the shop around the corner from my mums place has the BEST fish and chips I've ever come across. And Jenny Agreed, between nibbling on her Crumbed Cod and taking photos of the Steam Trains as they circled around us.

She also took photos of all the unfamiliar birds, such as the Dumpster Ducks and the Willie Wagtails, to the Butcher Bird and even the Pigeons.

"Cool Tree!"

But on top of increasing her knowledge in Ornithology, she also dabbled in Botany starting with our own local plantlife. Gum Trees, Paper Bark trees and this one tree that I just couldn't Identify, though I think it's a small Paperbark with a bush that started growing at the base of its trunk. Cool though, and it's been there since I were a lad.

The sun beating down, Jenny was getting hot and cooling down when the wind blew her way, while I got a little chilly but braved it as best I could. We continued walking around, finding more interesting trees, houses and even got a few shots of Lorikeets as we followed the footpath around my old Primary School.

Now I wasn't sure if we were allowed, I don't think we were, but I stopped her for a moment to ask if she wanted to have a walk through the School. She was very keen, and very surprised.

"Why's that babe?"
"Well school at home is very enclosed, we have everything inside a building and it's not often that we go outside."
"Is that because only about 6 months of that time it's safe to go outside, and three of those months are School Holidays?"
"Exactly, so seeing your - What is it? Tuckshop? - and everything so open and in the sun, it's really amazing."

There you go, kiddilywinks. Appreciate the sunlight.

Mum gave us a mission before we had left. She wanted me to get ingredients for Dinner: A stuffed potato. I told her to write down the list of things we need because I'm either A: Bound to forget something, or B: get everything.

We slowly weaved through the aisles as she took photos of interesting things, and we discovered something as she took a photo of me holding a packet of Meat Pies.

"Matt holding his meat...pie. Meat pie."

*Jenny makes sound*
*I look up at her*
*She takes photo and starts laughing*
"Oh my god, I'm sorry!"
"For what babe?" I'm a little clueless
"I make that sound at Taz too when i want to take a photo of him."

She assured me that I'm not a puppy dog (though I do like a good petting) and she promised not to do it again. (She still did it though)

After that funny little episode at Woolworths, we got home and I gave Mum the groceries for her to start dinner. So she started it all off, and look at everything in front of her and thought 'There's something Missing'.

"Matt?"
"Yeah, mum?"
"Did you remember everything?"
"Pretty sure I did"
"What about Potatos?"
"..."
"Matt?"
"I'll be back in a few minutes, Mum."

I got a Gal from Kalamazoo to Visit Brisbane

Jenny's first Crocodile

Okay, I'm a bit late (three weeks) with writing up my post about Jennys arrival to Australia.  Frankly, it's been difficult to really get it down.  Even Jenny is having similar problems, worrying that she might not be able to express how amazing and fulfilling the experience was, even though some (if not all) have had a similar experience attaining your life-long dream.

That's what Jenny did and I feel proud that we got in as much as we did in the two weeks that we had.  By the end of it we were basically running on empty, but we had fun meeting people and showing her some cool things here in Brisneyland.

I would like to thank everyone for their help and support.  Mum for cooking for Jenny and I, Monster Yuppy and Birmo for chauffeuring us around some of Brisbane's hotspots and giving both of us a History lesson, Kel and Tash for joining us for Dinner, Erin for showing us an awesome Thai restaurant, James and Adam for the tour around Surfers Paradise, Stacey and Kenny for housing us and helping me entertain Jenny, Girl Clumsy and Dan Beeston for joining us at Movie World and having us giggle our heads off at Impro Mafia...

And to everyone who turned up to the Lock'n'Load Bistro on the Saturday night, Thank you so much.  Jenny was extremely humbled to have met so many people who were there to see her, especially the half dozen or so who came interstate for the night.

There hasn't been a day that I haven't heard my Fiance say "I miss Australia" since she returned to the 'Zoo.  Thank you all again.

Ups and Downs

I must say, the highlight of my month has got to be seeing my pseudo-nephew running up to his mum, arms out in his little jacket and hoodie and giggling his little head off.

That tops off the long and exhausting month I've had.

Twas the first tuesday of the month and I'm on my way to work.  I hadn't had a good start to the week, just from work, but I receive a considerably long message.

It started off with "If you are receiving this text it's because I consider you a close friend".  That's a nice thing to say.  While I have hardly seen Stacey in months, and much the same beforehand, it's nice to know that she considers me a close friend.

The message then goes on to tell about how she was admitted into hospital on the saturday beforehand on Severe Anemia, contrary to the double dose medication she was taking ("I came in with a [Red Blood Cell] count of 57 when it should be about 120") and after a few tests, she found she had Cancer.  By the end of the week, we knew it was Stage 4 Lymphoma.

Happily when I went to see her, we had a few minutes to ourselves and she explained it out to me and said that given the various cancers there are, this would be the one you'd settle for because there is a finish line.  It just takes time to get to.

But the fact that a good friend has gone to hospital?  That's a fucking shock to the system.  And it happened not long earlier too in march, because another close friend was hospitalised with Arrhythmia, an irregular heartbeat condition.  And the other day, I found out that she has to continue to take medication for the rest of her life in case it causes some more significant damage.  I haven't seen her yet, but it has always been difficult to get a meeting together with her.

And slowly, but obviously surely, it has really burrowed itself into my head, and thrown a wrench into my work which has its own vicious cycle.

It hasn't all been bad this month.  As of the time of this writing, Jenny will be here in 4 weeks, and we've been getting our shit into gear.  I'm going for my provisional license on Monday, which was a wonderful day of flipping out on myself.

I had gotten my finger out and checked out when the closest booking was.  However, I had left it a bit late.  Turns out all all the driving instructors in North Brisbane were booked out until the 4th June.  So I'm panicking, and figure "Lets try South Brisbane".  Nope, their earliest was the 7th.

I'm panicking more, because I'm a little embarrassed that I don't already have it, (I've had my learners for 5+ years) but I was more flipping out because I've left it too late, I wouldn't be able to get my license before Jenny gets here because there aren't any available bookings and I wouldn't be able to drive her around, it'll all be Public Transport and favours. (Which costs an arm and a leg)

So I looked further out.  The earliest I could get was at Currumbin on the 15th May.

First question I asked myself was "How the FUCK am I going to get to Currumbin?"  I checked.  It's not easy.  But it's available, so I filed it away and searched for the next best thing.

Which turned out to be Caloundra on the 18th.  I checked the public transport, and it's easy enough: Take a train to Landsborough Train Station, and there's a bus going up "Steve Irwin Way" which would plant me right in front of the Transport Depot.  Done.  It's a 2 hour trip, 3 if you include the walk from my place to Bald Hills station, but it was possible.

But heeding advice from the customer service lady of the QLD Transport Dept, I checked the monday afterwards for any cancellations.  "There are always loads of cancellations, so be sure to check like twice a day."  Luckily, there she was: 30th April, Caboolture.  Very easy to get to, closer to me, and all I have to do is get there and take the test.

It's going to be hard fought, because after today and yesterday, it's going to be a rainy day on that Monday.  Goody.  I'll just take things slower than usual and get through the day.  Hopefully without Hypothermia since I'll be walking through the rain on getting to and from there.  And trains never fail to have the Air Conditioning blasting.

So that's my personal life up until now.  Otherwise, Tuesdays have been booming with people coming in and having fun, then Friday nights are getting much clearer with the game Champions (I really should read the rulebook for that) and D&D... I've already blogged about.

Then there's Jenny.  Fuck I can't wait for her to get here.  We're in the process of sorting out the Schedule.  Jenny made a list of things we plan to do in the 10 days she's here, and now we just have to organise it.  The only thing that unchangable is the Saturday Night Dinner.  So far, we're up around 50 people so she is feeling a bit humbled, especially by those coming interstate to see her. 

Thank you everyone.  I really appreciate it.

Maggies

Now I don't hate them. I did a long time ago when I was riding my bike to school, since they'd swoop me as I passed their nests, but now I don't have that problem. (Though I'd like to start riding again, but I'll have to get back to that another day) Now a-days, I usually see Magpies when I'm mowing Mums lawn.


Every time I go out there, they'd stand by and occasionally jump down to grab at the worms and jump back up into any of the trees we have in the yard. (I'd have to ask Mum what they are, I've forgotten) This time, mowing out the front yard, a little magpie just sat there and watched. I even got so close that he could reach out and peck my head as I pushed on by.

I thought that was entertaining. I would've reached out to give him a scratch if I weren't afraid he'd either bite me, or I'd pick up something like Fleas.

It's true, he never keeps his shirt on

This past weekend was pretty good. After two days of fucking around and trying to help my manager with some computer security problems, which was like banging my head against a brick wall before giving up and waiting for it to erode*, the weekend rocked up and first thing on order was to get home, finish off the bottle of Scrumpys I had, (which isn't the best cider I've had) and go to the INCUBUS concert at the Convention Centre with Shaz-Mattaz.

I haven't seen Shez in a Looong time. We've gotten a little distant for multiple reasons, but it was really good to see her and make her laugh. She definitely needed it, I reckon. She had a great big laugh when I said that Incubus played my song, Anna Molly, because they knew I was at their concert here in Brisbane. Shez reckons they don't know I exist, BUT THEY DO! OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN'T PLAY MY SONG!

"Yes they would, it's one of their most popular songs!"
"BULLSHIT!"

It was a good night. It was good to have fun with Shaz-Mattaz. Hope I get to see her again. And next time, in the Mosh Pit where I can fkn dance like a maniac. Got so energetic sitting in that seat, I think I began to annoy the guy next to me.

Let see, what else happened. Saturday I spent the majority of the day sleeping. Woke up at around 9 to play Skylanders with my Nephew. He brought around a purchasable level. And by purchasable level, I don't mean you can download it. You have to unlock it by placing a figure of the level entrance, such as a Crypt Door, an Ice Cave, a Pirate Ship or a Dragon Temple, and that gets coupled with a character and items you can use in the game. Such as a Healing Potion. Or random skeletons to come and help you fight for a period of time.

I tell you, "Toys for Bob" are onto a fkn good thing here. They even announced their sequel, Skylanders: GIANTS. Yes, GIANTS.
I'm curious whether you can use the new Giant Figs in the first game. Because you can use the old figs in the new game, and it would be COOL.

After we solved the level and he headed off home with his Mum, I went back to sleep for a few hours, woke up, played some Gears of War 3 and levelled up my Horde Stuff, went back to sleep at 6, woke up at about 12:30am, talked with Jenny for a few hours, went back to sleep and woke up to head off to Spring Hill for Warmachine.

Twas a good day. The store is running a league, and while I'm not particularly interested in competing in the League, I'm following the general rule of "you choose 2 warcasters to play with and keep playing with them throughout the league". I chose two casters that I really wanted to play, whom I hadn't really played: Zerkova and Strakhov. I had the two assembled at the time, and put them forward as my choice.

So Sunday, I played 3 Games. Two games were against Aiden (AKA: Callum, I'm pretty sure I confused him before today). First game was using Zerkova versus Karchev.

This would happen to be one of the tougher match ups for Zerkova. Very High Armour with a Very High Damage output if he came into contact with her. So after being dropped to 2 HP after a couple of good hits from something... I can't quite remember what it was, it was probably Karchev's Fissure. But anyway, she was on the backfoot after that. The Kodiak was dealing with the Devastator by throwing him away constantly, with a Unit of Greylords freezing him one time (to which Aiden forgot to shake off earlier), and a Berserker taken down by Great Bears and a Juggernaut. It was a pretty good steam roll on one side.

The other side was an even better steamroll. Rorsh and Brine along with a Marauder just tore through a Full unit of Man-O-War Shocktroopers, a Min Unit of Bombardiers, and a unit of Greylords. I had a unit of Winterguard with Kovnik Joe too, but they were too far out on a flank to be any trouble, really. Kovnik Joe was helpful since he got to the other side of the centre piece, a circular ruin with 3 entry ways, decided to cut through the ruins after going around it, and ended up rolling box-cars on an open Devastator to Destroy him. (After the sod tore apart my Marauder)

Kovnik Joe! Kovnik Joe! Kovnik Joe! HOO-RAH!

This saved Zerkova, only for her, Rorsh and Kovnik Joe to continue to try and take down a 1hp Karchev.

Eventually I lost. A Focus Hoarding Karchev at ARM 23/24 cannot be taken down by a Pig with a Rifle, a Bearded Man with a Handcannon, and a Lady pelting Ice Cream Cones filled with Liquid Nitrogen. No they cannot.

The funniest thing though was later on in the day, I realised something. I pulled my army out based on a list I had printed out for Cancon. The average army list is about 35pts here at Spring Hill. The list was 50pts. I deserve to lose a little bit, but still it was a Fun game.

Second game was against Aiden again, and I made a list using iBodger at 35pts for Strakhov. This game was against Epic Butcher, the madman of Khador, and was over a little quicker than it probably should have been. Y'see, he was so excited about being able to go on a murderous rampage through a field of Winterguard, so he went ahead and did that. Though he did end up in front of Black Ivan. Who was more than ready to go ahead and Destroy him. Greylords advanced and luckily dropped his DEF by 2, Superiority cast on Black ivan for the +2 Mat (didn't need the SPD) and after one or two hits (no crits, sadly) Epic Butcher was removed from the table.

He learnt his lesson: Don't throw your warcaster out so recklessly.

Last game was against a fairly new guy. His game with me was his Fourth game ever, and he was playing with Epic Sorscha. He was slowly learning the ways of Sorscha Assassination. And he pulled it off on me, he had a wall of Winterguard, which I shut down and trampled over with a Juggernaut and walled off with a Marauder and Kodiak (Vent Steam Rocks, by the way). But after clearing them out with Zerkova, that left a very Obvious lane for him to Charge me with.

So fair enough, he Cyclone'd and Charged me. I would've done the same, the Math is all for him to win. The poor fella wasn't lucky enough though. He hit me once and dropped me down to 6 HP, and he even hit me with his Mortar Crew (who had boosted attack dice), and hit me a second or third time but rolled snake eyes, dealing no damage. Naturally, on my turn, I ordered the nearby Kodiak to move over and pound away at him which won me the game, but it was a hollow win. He has earnt the Moral Assassination. He should have gotten it, he really should've. Next time I see him, I'm gonna recommend to check his Orders of Operations. He threw a Mortar shot after he had engaged Zerkova which caused it to miss, and probably would have won him the game.

All in all, it was a very good weekend. I got home on Sunday and played some more Gears of War 3 (Levelling up Decoys can be a bitch), watched Castle and talked to Jenny before going to bed. Jeez I can't wait for her to get here.