I have to be honest

I've actually been down in Venezuela saving the local populous from aliens while holding back military organizations with volunteers from Britain, Poland, and several planets with a convergent evolution to Earth that high ranking officials have the privilege of knowing.

The devastation has been largely covered up by a group effort including a hacking system to covering satellites, and generation of word and mouth stories coupled with local media setups.

The reason I'm telling you this is that you may not hear from me again as I am entering a cybernetics program to improve my battle potential, while continuing an extravaganza of social media information for everyone to continue their belief that I am still well.

I don't have long, so I'll make this quick.

This is a terrible April fools joke. I love you jenny. I'll never do this again.