Crime and Dalliance

Apt.

I'm not a big fan of multiplayer. I always feel incredibly incompetent against a human opponent, knowing that at any moment I will just get knocked over in an instant because I'm not looking in the right direction, or just wasn't quick enough on the draw, or didn't pump enough bullets into them before they pulled one casing from the magazine and threw it at my head just to spite my pathetic skills.

So when I get into a gaming venue with friends, I prefer Cooperative formats. In this case I mean Heists, part of GTA Online's latest big update.

Everyone, their mother, their grandmother, and their decease families have been rolling in their graves wanting to get heists happening in GTA, and the day it came, the servers basically up and died just trying to handle the influx of returning players, myself included.

My Brother in Law and his best friend were excited too. The best friend works odd and long hours so it has been difficult to convene with him. But Bro-In-Law and I kicked it off with Gusto.

Lester lectured us about the ins and outs of Heisting, gushing with innuendo involving the popping cherries and future experiences that everyone will encounter.

It wasn't until we began the second Heist that we encountered a problem that not only we had to deal with: a lack of assistance.

Now the doctor was a small step towards resolving that solution, being the third to the required quartet of criminal masterminds. But we had nobody else to assist us. Our only solution was to turn to the Internet, request the help of complete strangers to help us through this transition. We found a few players who were all too happy to help, but there were others that were deceitful bastards, piking out at the last minute, less than a hundred metres from the destination before leaving a mocking card and pushing the ejection seat button.

So many times it has happened and it frustrates us to no end that nobody could simply help all the way through, to profit with the rest of us. No, they must give us a taste of what victory could be and leave like it was the funniest prank ever played.

The petty spite these internet trolls plague other players, those enthusiastic to complete these missions, is too much, driving everyone into madness.

Let alone playing by yourself with a pickup party.  It's impossible.  I would spend hours just waiting on players to connect, seeing invites go unaccepted, seeing interested players join and bail, either after seeing nobody else or after waiting five minutes before giving up like I want to.

I could just give up.  But I won't.  We will find our Fourth.  And we will call him Fourthy, and we will worship him like a god.