All hail the saviour of Pandora: Kenny Baker

I have stepped off a bus and listened to a god; wrangled a calamari, and his son, both of gargantuan proportions into submission; fire-fought with a medically deranged "twin brother" and his lumbering undead minions; undermined the apocalyptic plans of a lackadaisical General under the orders of his toddling superior; and halted the robotic revolution of the century dead in its tracks.

I have brought a tyrant and his corporation defiantly to their knees, and with great pleasure and satisfaction; stared down and destroyed a molten Kaiju; scoured a pirate filled desert and battled ancient monsters for a Legendary Treasure Trove; cut down to size a steroid pumped Coward and his Prehistoric Robot; observed the tragic and pathetic fall and tumble of a mad attention seeking Scientist and the experimental resurrection of his lunatic boss; and saved a Diamond Queen from a Handsome Evil Wizard and his Dragons.

I have married and subsequently killed dimwitted Psychopaths with rifles that loose rocket propelled bullets; prepared for dinner an unbeatable Monstrous Turkey with Caustic Revolvers; melted Snowmen with a Sub Machine Gun that unleashed a seemingly unending clip of Electricity; and ignited hoards of zombies and Pumpkin Headed Bosses with incendiary rockets utilising strange alien technology.

These are the adventurous highlights of Borderlands.  I have experienced these stories several times over, using unique skills such as dropping Turrets that, while chunking away with it's machine gun, pump rockets into whatever corporate soldiers that happen to be in range; turn invisible and either diluting time or distracting enemies with a hologram before surprising canines with cloaca's for mouths with a surprise attack; punch the ever loving shit out of giant arthropods with hardened exoskeletons, or carve them in half with a buzz axe that I keep hitting myself with; unleash an elementally charged hawk or your very own personal robot to deal with more mindless drone bots; suspend Thieves in a paralytic stasis to await their demise; or simply pulled out a second gun and double fist everything.

This year, I will be following two directions.  The future will take me after Borderlands 2 through episodes of "Tales from the Borderlands."  Two characters, neither of whom are Vault Hunters, a first of the setting, will have an adventure of some sort across the region of Pandora which houses all of our heroes.

Then I will be sent back in time in "Borderlands the Pre-Sequel".  And not only that... I'll be sent to the fucking Moon.

Four new characters will accompany me.  Athena the Gladiator, known for being a powerful Assassin of a now defunct Corporate Military and helping the Vault Hunters in hammering the final stake into that Business' Heart, will be joining the fight using a specially designed Captain America Shield, absorbing attacks and then throwing it back into their face.

Nisha the Lawbringer, very easily described as a Wild West Cowgirl, becomes in Borderlands 2 a Sheriff of a small, somewhat deserted town, called Lynchwood, while dating the Tyrant of Tyrants, Handsome Jack.

Wilhelm the Enforcer, commonly known in Borderlands 2 as the personal Bionic Bodyguard of Handsome Jack, famous for having almost defeated the Original Vault Hunters (Roland, Maya, Mordecai and Brick), who is later defeated amongst the wreckage of a train, brought down by an adorable explosive fetishist.

And, known as the most annoying, noisy, and frustrating character of the series, Claptrap the Fragtrap.  Once a Doorman for anyone stepping off a bus, he brought about an entire army of his own kind, attempting to overpower the subjugation they were all forced to, only to be put back down to size as the only member of his kind, and waiting his vengeance to be fulfilled with the association of more Vault Hunters.

These will be the Soldiers of mass murder on the Moon of Pandora.  They will be freezing everyone with Lasers while utilising their Oxygen tanks for further shenanigans, from double jumping to butt stomping your favourite ice sculpture.

This is going to be a fantastic year of Mass Murder.