The more things stay the same

Master Rahool would look good in a Hawaiian Shirt

Some people think Video Games have come a long way over the few decades they've been around, and its irrefutable, games have gotten more imaginative and clever as time has come and gone. Some things, though, simply remain the same and you don't notice it until you look a bit deeper.

Take Battle Hunter. Its an extremely simple game, literally a board game for your console with a handful of plot points to serve as motivators.  It was fun, if a little tedious and dished out a poor serving of ass whooping unless you were particularly levelled and equipped, but fun none the less.  The gameplay was straight forward, bringing player from Battlefield to Hub and back again for no more reason than to find better gear and earn some dosh along the way.

Doesn't that sound familiar to a Space Shooter that was released about a year ago?  Funny that.

So here I am looking at it and wondering what the bloody difference there is between Destiny and some of the games of the '90s and early '00s and I'm finding it difficult to nail it down aside from the obvious things of "It's 3D and HD."

Frankly, Destiny could easily be recreated as an Indie game.  Get some Pixel Art in there and make it a side-scrolling shooter.  Keep all the same aspects to it and let the players go hogwild.  Then just add Flavour to taste and you're good as gold.

You can keep the Tower, just drop it down to a series of Menu options.  Frankly, it'd make the game more personable, making you feel like you actually have some sort of relationship with the NPCs of the Tower.  Because right now, Zavala is the Head of the FBI from Fringe, Cayde and Ikora are Captain and First Mate of the Firefly Serenity, and Banshee was great in Gears of War and Adventure Time.

To be fair, the DLC's have taken steps in that direction.  Cayde is still... well Nathan Fillon, but hey, I like him.  I'll keep him.

Destiny however, is getting pretty stale.  The marketing is, and probably always will be, a flagrant method of extortion, while the game may expand out and up it still comes back to being a repetitive grind for new gear in the end.

Falling Out from Reality

Damn Straight.

Is it weird that the only connection i have to anything outside of Fallout 4 is my obscure references in my Weapon names?  Like my first weapon in the game was a 10mm Pistol.  Its a good pistol, and I've been using it on and off throughout the game, upgrading it to the best mods...

I named it Mjolnir.  A good solid name.  And from then on, it just got more and more obscure.  I had a Bolt Action Pipe Rifle, a gun that essentially looks like a block of wood with some copper pipes and long bolts sticking out of it.  I called it White Death, to reference the Polish Sniper of WWII.  I gave it a scope though, because Video Games don't care about reflections.

It was at this point that i gave no fucks about what the story was.  I was on Walkabout, going to every length of the map to find whatever there was to look at.  I went south and went past the border of the map, going deep into the glowing sea to see what I could see see see.  I lost many Radaways due to the pure radioactivity there amongst the downs planes and nearly empty military bunkers.

Then once I thought I had reached the end, I moved all the way back up to Sanctuary and started my way East, exploring more and more.  My only rule was to never go onto the island where Diamond City is.  Don't cross that bridge, just keep going on walkabout until everything is found.

Throughout all this I've come across a cavalcade of Legendary Enemies, dropping gear all over the joint, only a handful of which I've been using in regular circulation.  But I've kept them either on myself or in my treasure trove in Sanctuary.

My first legendary weapon was a Pipe Wrench called Big Jim.  Now, everyone can get this leg crippling bastard.  He's not a game breaking weapon by any length, but he does his job the way he should.  By hitting whomever in the head and making their legs fall out from underneath.  Its very straight forward methodology, and very effective to boot.

But I put him to the wayside.  That wasn't my style. I wanted rifles, and to drop every bastard from here to Timbuktu from the pleasure of my couch.  So i was happy when I got my first Legendary drop: a Nocturnal Hunting Rifle.

It was cool, interesting, and along the lines of what I wanted, so I modded the shit out of it and started getting people a little jealous when at one point I showed I was doing double the usual damage when it came to the dead of night.  I was dropping every bastard who thought they were hard enough to sort out a puny fella like me.  Little did they know, they didn't even hear the gunshot before they hit the ground.

Mind, everyone else did.  So began the scramble for headshots and a new hiding hole.

I tried to give it a good name though.  Something badass and thematically appropriate.

Well, you are using it to kill under the guise of darkness.  Why not Grim's Reaper?

Oh yeah, i could sit behind that.  Grim's Reaper coming down and separating you from the mortal coil? Done like Dinner!

I had shared this on Facebook, because that;s a feature I thought I could utilise with all the cool kids playing alongside me.

Is that right?  Would i mean Parallel since they're not in the same game as me?  Or concurrently?

Anyway, someone made a comment about the ability saying it works as a night time solar panel.  It was so true, but something inside me clicked:  a solar panel does what? Lays down in the sun. And what happens when you lay down in the sun? I burn, with the intention of getting a tan. And if you were using the moon yo-u'd BE A MOON TANNER.

And because i do love the Moontanner from the last few times i saw Felafel, it wad the perfect name for my rifle.  Not near as badass as Grim's Reaper, but better i feel.

I got more and more Legendary weapons, usually replacing certain models I had already upgraded and used as alternative Ammo sources, and respectively gave them new names.

Like White Death.  It was a plain bolt action rifle, exceptional in its duty.  So when its replacement dealt additional damage to Super Mutants, it was easy: Green Death.

More weapons came and went.  Grymkin (revolver pipe rifle with additional damage against Robots); Kneecapper (auto pipe rifle with chance to cripple legs); Barking Iron (shotgun with critical: refill action points).  I'm still pretty proud of myself with some of these names.

But the time has come that I have reached my limit.  I've explored every nook and cranny of the wasteland of suburban Boston.  Now it's time to tackle the big city, and to kick ass.  Or die trying, since they may be overequipped compared to me.

Tower Defence with Friends

Hmm.  Not enough Dakka.

Ive made only a few memorable moments in video games, things that made everyone cheer me on for hours afterwards.  Like one time at The Bunker the boys and I were playing Dawn of War.  It was a map designed for an all out brawl over a Relic Point (I think thats right?) in the centre, with everyones base in each corner.  Scoot and Chase were against Aaron and I for the simple reason that Aaron and I played Orks, and Scoot and Chase played Space Morons and Imperial Gumbys.

Aaron was doing his best to fend off both Scoot and Chase, he was calling out to me, saying he was losing ground and needed more help than the one or two units of sluggas I had started the game with. It all changed when I waded into the fight to the immediate cry of "IS THAT A KILLA KAN?!"

The game ended quickly when there were a couple of Rage Quits, so while I may be very proud of my achievement, I didnt get to revelle in it by razing their base to the ground to the chant of ORKS ORKS ORKS!

The other big one I remember is Gears of War 3's Horde 2.0.  The boys and I again, fighting the fight of the century (REALLY), and we reached either wave 30 or 40, i cant remember.  What I can remember was the Lambent Berserker and the Ensuing Carnage.  We had all this gear set up, Scotty had gotten himself a Silverback and was mowing everything down with glee, Grubs were slogging through laser fences, and anyone who wasn't shooting straight into the spread eagled bastards was mounted up on turrets, pummelling everyone else.

Through poor situational awareness, or just picking the wrong guy to fight, everyone died and I was left alone.  Just me... And the big, glowy, tentacled, practically invulnerable, rock monster.

I ran and ran and dodgerolled and cried like a little bitch over the microphone as i took poorly timed, yet specifically planned, potshots at the She-Hulk as the frustration grew and grew on her until through either pure exhaustion, or an invisible health bar that was whittled down to nothing, she fell like a sack of bricks and victory was mine.  I put one foot on that gigantic glowing corpse and waited for the bulbs to flash, commemorating me into history.

Those were the glory days.  Then came Gears of War Judgement, a Spinoff following one of Gear's biggest douchebags, Baird, and the king of the ball game, the locomotive with the most-ive (come on, Meds), Cole Train.

It was a good story, and the gameplay changed a bit and turned it into a much more manic game than what it originally was.  Then there's the multiplayer.  They changed from the base defence style, to a class based survival called Overrun.

I played it a couple of times, running around like a chook with my head cut off, and didn't like it.  I felt it missed that feeling of being an enormous pillar against a torrential storm that I loved in Gears 3.  I'm not one to be against class based characters, but I don't want to rely on a Soldier dropping all the ammunition next to me while I'm scrambling away from some giant centipede nipping around my feet.

So looking ahead, I wonder what Gears 4 will accomplish when it comes to their Coop Survival mode.  Will they go back to the Horde 2.0?  Or will they bring back Overrun with some new Chemistry?  Because I'm really hoping to be able to save the day again.

The Wolf, the Hunter, and the Soldier

It's true!  Red Bull gives you wings!  And Cyberpowers!

I've heard nothing but good things about Wolfenstein: The New Order since it came out.  From great advertising to reviews with little criticisms on it.  But eventually the hype died out and that's usually the time I get my hands on such gems, because like every joke about Australia, I am a few years behind on "the times".

It was one of my Numerous Birthday presents and I was excited to crack it open, but I did what was sensible and said I would play all the other games that are on my Xbox 360 first so that I may one day put that away and focus on my PS4.

So I played a bunch of Terraria, half heartedly since I want to get it on Playstation now, and unwrapped the Nazi killing Bastard from his airtight plastic cage and entered him into the vague, featureless Brick that is apparently called a Playstation 4.

After the initial hazing normally involved with putting a game into your console these days I was finally thrown into the frying pan, or at least a big plane with a Pom and a bunch of other soldiers headed towards a new enemy: General Deathshead.

He's a creepy bastard.  My first encounter with Herr General had me staring at him through wire glass as he closed the walls in on me and my comrades.  I stared into his unflinching, smiling, scarred face as he watched everyone else panic, not even bothering to help them try and get out of this predicament.

I played on, shooting and slashing up Nazi's between avoiding Panzerhunds and pissing off Cyborgs.  It was a good time.  And the more I went on the more I got into the setting, reading news articles about the fall of Britain, the surrender of the United States, and the treatment of citizens and their 'impurities'.

Then, as I was exploring around the secret headquarters of the Resistance, I found a mattress tucked away in a high corner with a little interactive option saying "Nightmare!"

Lo and Behold, I was transported back to Wolfenstein 3D.  I was still Blazkowicz, pistol detailed as ever, but everything else was exactly as it was back in 1992.  It was fun and it made me think how much the game has changed since when ID software first made it.

And every time I think of ID Software, I think about two other games.  Doom and Quake, their two other flagship games.  I have Doom and Wolfenstein 3D on my Xbox 360 and spent so many hours collecting achievements and completing them as a whole.  Especially Doom since as soon as you finished the game you got the Doomguy outfit for your Xbox Avatar which I have accessorised and kept ever since.

"I STUBBED MY TOE ON THE COFFEE TABLE!"

With all the fun I've had with Classic Doom I cant wait for New Doom (TM) coming from Bethesda who, conveniently, had a hand in Wolfenstein: The New Order, something Im reminded of every time I load the game.  And every video I've watched of New Doom (TM) has been a fantastic and entertaining bloodbath of gunfire, action kills, and frantic running about.  Frankly only one step up from Classic Doom, because they didn't have action kills that involve pushing in Imp eyes until the skull explodes.

But Doom isn't my favourite.  And neither is Wolfenstein.  My favourite is Quake II, and I can't really tell you why.  It could be that I feel like a God running around dodging everything and exploring these long, dirty, rusted, grimy corridors shooting down strange Alien Cyborgs on their home planet.  I worked alone, finding comrades driven to madness from experimentation and torture; discovering strange works of art in grandiose cathedral fortresses; destroying strange machinations determined to do one thing: Kill You.

So I am going to really enjoy Wolfenstein: The New Order because not only is it a fun game, it is a deep game.  You find news articles about how the tide remained in the Nazi's favour and they continued the tidal wave across the world, and then fifteen years on they were settled everywhere with an Iron Grip.

And in knowing that I look forward to the possibility of a New Quake whether it continues the war against the Strogg, throwing you straight back into the midst of it, or just creating a whole new story with you forming an entire new front against this horrific enemy.

Inappropriate Kanye is Inappropriate

Blood sin is too explicit for Disney I'm guessing?

When I was doing the Backward Compatibility post the other week I kept thinking back to a game that I come back to occasionally: Vagrant Story.

It's one of the coolest games I've ever played.  The themes, the art, the style, the gameplay... it was all fantastic, and difficult, and complicated.  For the longest time, I couldn't get through it.  Only person I knew who did was my friend Ben, who subsequently played the game until it broke.

Now it's going to be difficult to get back into that because PS4 shenanigans, but the need will find a way.  I can only imagine that I would get a taste of it somehow, like in the biggest crossover game I enjoy: Kingdom Hearts.

The third iteration is coming.  When, I don't know.  I've been waiting patiently for it and though a general date has been released, I'm ignoring it and sticking with the "It'll happen when it happens".

But the main premise of Kingdom Hearts is that it's a crossover of Disney and Final Fantasy characters and themes.  You've got Donald and Goofy fighting alongside Sora, the main character, then Cloud and Sephiroth across the bar waiting for their arena challenges to come on.

Vagrant Story has a loose connection to Final Fantasy XII and Final Fantasy Tactics, buried in amongst the lore with some vague mentions of Lea Monde and Riskbreakers.  So while it's only vague, it would be amazing to see Ashley Riot, the protagonist, the Rood Inverse tattoo'd/scarred into his back and running around with his Fandango, chain attacking enemies while casting dark, evil spells, and generally being the badass I remember him being as I reclaimed the city of Lea Monde.

Still Talking Aesthetics

Please wait; Shader loading

The more I play games, the more I find superfluous features.  Take my latest obsession, Destiny.  There are more Aesthetics than there really needs to be in a Halo MMO that focuses on grinding out your equipment, and the developers saw that.

They looked at it all and said "why dont we actually do something about this junk and give it purpose?"  Or, more likely, the players said that and Bungie said "Oh, yeah, alright."

Ghosts will be getting a bunch of Shelłs that will provide subtle bonuses, for example.  Thats pretty huge on its own, especially if youre getting a bit more dosh as you pound your way through the cut and past characters you repeatedly mow down day after day.

Same witth Class Marks, usually only having the purpose of looking pretty, or showing your faction allegiance as you gain reputation with them.

But what will never change is shaders.  They will always be as simple as they sound, only changing by being removed as an Inventory Item and placed in a Kiosk for you to select at your choice.  What would be cool though is having a random option.  I mean that every time your character loads into a game, they are wearing a different shader.  One stroll through Venus will have you working for the Future War Cult, and then when you reach Mars you'll be Dead Orbit's personal mascot.

But why stop there?  That's not the only thing you have that serves little purpose no matter how different it is.  You also have your Ships and Sparrows!  So why not throw them in the random mix?!

I don't know if they'll be removed as an inventory Item like the Shaders, but damnit I don't see why they shouldn't be.  One doesn't find any difference in Ships, and sparrows have little differences in them in any case, so shove them all in the Kiosk, I say!  Let the shit sort itself out, and let me transmat onto any vehicle that the vendor decides!

Just like the Matrix it's all digital anyway, right?

Additional: I found that there is a new function called Emotes in Destiny.  Tack that on the list of random things when triggered. 

Dear Playstation

Seems Legit.

Guess who's back.
Back again.
B.C.'s Back.
Tell a Friend.

It's the age old romance, spanning generations of consoles and leading up to the E3 conference in June, the month of my birth, where I got a surprise present of Backwards Compati-fucking-bility.

That's right, bitches.  It's back on the Xbox One!

Well, mostly.

Apparently their method of "place disc A into tray B and allow download C to play disc A on console D" demands the rights from different publishers/developers before they can just go batshit letting everyone get all the games.  Which is a shame because I would like to immediately be able to fob off my Xbox 360 for the upgrade knowing full well that any of the Games For Gold I downloaded over the past year would be perfectly fine for play.

Sadly, I missed the opportunity to trade in my 360 for $150 credit and get an extremely cheap Xbone because of my insecurities.

That, and money.  Who has $200 sitting in their bank when they're saving for 5k tickets across some water?!

But fingers crossed the offer will come again when the list has expanded and I can know at least the Majority of my games will be freely playable.  That and that the console will get a bigger harddrive than a single Terabyte.

My history with Xbox has been short though.  I've only been around for a single generation, and while I've enjoyed the hell out of it I've got a longer history with Playstation.

That is what irks me.  While I like the fact that I have a Playstation 4, and that the games coming for it will be fucking phenomenal, I can't help but wish that I could have a throwback week when I load up a PSOne game that I wanted to revive.

Like Vagrant Story.  I've spent days playing through that, finding new things that I had overlooked before, or just did not know about.  Even just levelling up my Halberd (My favourite weapon in the game) was spent over the course of a day or two just whacking dummies until all stats were at 100.

I can only wonder what that game would look like if they remade it, boosted it up to the visual effects of todays games.

I guess we could use Final Fantasy VII Remake as a standard of excellence once it's finished up and shipped out.  I might actually finish that game after all.

I still have my problem though.  I have a console that is capable of so much more, but nobody will let it.

I may never get to play some downloadable games that I have had my eye on because of it.

All I ever wish is for a console to replace its predecessor, and be interactable with it's siblings.  Is that so much to ask?  To get a Playstation to play everything?  From PSOne to PSP?  Maybe to PSVita?

Please Sony Playstation.  Give me the all father.  Or All Son.  Fob off the PSTV, and just let me play my Games.

I fixed Destiny

There are many things i would like to see more of in Destiny 2. But I got to thinking today as I was playing the demo on my PS4 (Still debating on getting The Taken King) was how I would have liked things different.

And I don't just mean like minor differences, I mean a completely different game. Destiny: the Playstation/Xbox Editions. Have their similarities, like fighting on Earth and Chad (Commonly known as Moon) and Mars and Venus, Etc etc, but have completely different locations. The Cabal Landed on Venus in the Playstation version; the Hive have an entire fortress hidden on Mars for the Xbox Version; The Vex and Fallen have been fighting at another Space Station on one or the other. Either way, really mix up the different games.

Then there's the classes. You have 3 classes, so why not give them unique stories? A different set of missions you can play exclusively for them? And the only way you can have others play with you is if you're leading the Fireteam! You can have the same team three times, hopping between Fireteam leaders, and have differing experiences altogether. Or better yet, those who have all three classes can go around and play through whatever story missions on their own! That adds story to the game by threefold! Each character doing their own thing and all culminating into Strikes that anyone can attend!

And then double that again for the differing consoles!

I fixed Destiny. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Why i miss Demolition: EU

"You did what to Gary?"

I remember the first time I played Demolition. It was about June and I was starting to get the ball rolling at the base with everything running quite smoothly, all my little ant people running around assigned their jobs of researching one thing or another, or building satellites and constructing work rooms deeper in the base.

Suddenly, Aliens were detected in Russia, China and Argentina. So I loaded up the Skyranger and flew in to Russia because SCIENTS was available there. And i needed whatever the goddamn research was.

My four soldiers, one of each Class because thats how I always roll, were deployed with their Lasers and Carapace Armour, and were ready for a fight as they climbed out of our favourite VTOL and waited for orders outside the gated demolition site.

I made my moves sensibly, moving to either side of the lanes leading into the workspace, down both sides of the digger. Then i threw my Support forward, his additional move making him the perfect scout, and found more than i expected with two pods of Three Mutons, outfitted pretty typically with their Plasma Rifles and Grenades. I was in strife, but fuck me if i didnt want to give em the raw prawn.

Back my scout came and took position for an ambush. Surely, waiting a turn or two in overwatch would result in them walking face first into laser pointers and dropping like a sack of potatoes.

We waited a turn, everyone in overwatch, ready to drop the first spud as he saunters. The anticipation was riveting.

Another turn passed.

Huh. I know theyre there, i can see the little noise marker go off in that direction. Why are they just repositioning? Damnit, are they waiting to ambush me? Well im no fool, i can beat them at my own game! Everyone on Overwatch, and i want to see cataracts when they reveal themselves!

And there he was, the sacrificial Lamb. He padded his way down into my line of sight, triggering my sniper and heavy, who with a PEW-PEW-PEW-FREEM (thats what their weapons sound like) he fell over.

Ah, one down and five to go. See? I knew this would work. Give it time and theyll just walk into the disco lights and do the job for us! Oh, whats this? A muton is... Flanking... Everyone. Shit.

That was when with a thunk-thunk-thunksss (plasma rifle, that is) my poor little legman flew through the air and landed dead on the floor, with nothing but a 12 and a yellow star rising from his place.

I have never seen a group of flies scarper so quickly, let alone people. We fell back behind the high rise fence, and recouped our losses, reloading and hoping the panic doesn't set in quite yet.

But i said to myself "Fuckit. Let's turn the tables" and took the offensive, careening around the corner with my assault soldier, and getting into kissing distance before pumping his disco shotgun straight into his face. A hillbillys kiss goodbye, if you will.

Then there were the remaining mutons to sort out. Four of them faffing around out of sight, trying to think about what is going to happen.

I went on the hunt, prowling around corners, soldiers aiming down their sights for their next kill.

I found a pair cowering behind walls at the very end of the map. I laughed at their futility as I lobbed a grenade and watched their cover disintegrate, giving free aim to my heavy and sniper.

It was the last two that gave me strife. I followed the noises, I checked every room, every level, and I even blew out a wall to check out the closed in room therein.

There was only one place left and it was behind the outside walls. So i formulate a plan. The ol' Pincer strike! If they were going to put themselves into a spot where they almost literally can't escape, then they're going to get what's coming to them. Cheeky devils, probably trying to outflank me when I was parked near the entrance.

So Heavy down the bottom, Sniper up the top, and Assault in Reserve since he was a higher rank, and we found those last two mutons and just ploughed into them from both sides like some sort of Pornographic innuendo.

Commander Bradford thanked me for a job pretty well done, sad that not everyone will be able to come back to base, but all well. Things happen.

But that was Demolition: EU for me. I had fun. It was close quarters and you just can't cover every angle easily. Except those outside walls, of course, that's where you just get screwed.

Telltale Games Meets XCOM

A scene from my Volunteer Audition Tape

A while ago I was farting around and playing some old Gameboy Advance games, trying to get into Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis again and looking around at other Tactical RPG games when I came across Rebelstar.

By the same guy who created XCOM/UFO, Rebelstar tells a story how a bunch of kids and a handful of adults have begun their fight against their alien overlords, the variety of whom take away anybody over the age of thirty for some unknown reason. The story itself is pretty good and the system, while a little convoluted, was pretty schmick. But lord did it make me want that corner looking feature that XCOM 2012 has.

The other thing I've been thinking about lately is Borderlands 2.5, aka Tales From The Borderlands, by Telltale Games.

The premise of it is that it's like a Choose your own Adventure book, where you're offered prompts and your options can dictate how the story can go. I've played the demo and had some laughs out of it.

So, with my love of XCOM, and the fun of a good story game, I would love to see XCOM 1.5: The Volunteer. obviously this is inspired by the designers saying that everyone's volunteers are alive, and they disappeared before the ship imploded.

So I can only wonder what happened? Did he travel to another temple ship? Or another alien base? Or has he just landed in the middle of the ocean and makes his way to the closest shore to find himself exhausted and amongst an EXALT cell?

How about rollover? I had a pretty tanked out Volunteer, with Gene Mods, armour, medals for his bravery... its hard to imagine that he would suddenly forget all those effects. Sure, lose his gear, they can be replaced. His armour would be near impossible to tear off. So what would be the go? He rolls up on the beach, radiation poisoning starting its crippling effect due to long exposure to plasma, and he has nothing but the PSI Armour on his back. His mind still reeling from the effect of teleportation, he sees others and hides, not knowing who they are or what their intentions may be. Military outfits, not too strange for the coast of... well anywhere at that time.

But hey, maybe they're secretly part of EXALT! He receives their help and passes out, and next thing you know you're forced to go track down your old commander in his living room while he's drinking mountain dew in his trackky dacks. OOOHHH OMINOUS!

But a little story could be fun! Then let that roll over to XCOM 2, why not.A while ago I was farting around and playing some old Gameboy Advance games, trying to get into Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis again and looking around at other Tactical RPG games when I came across Rebelstar.

By the same guy who created XCOM/UFO, Rebelstar tells a story how a bunch of kids and a handful of adults have begun their fight against their alien overlords, the variety of whom take away anybody over the age of thirty for some unknown reason. The story itself is pretty good and the system, while a little convoluted, was pretty schmick. But lord did it make me want that corner looking feature that XCOM 2012 has.

The other thing I've been thinking about lately is Borderlands 2.5, aka Tales From The Borderlands, by Telltale Games.  Well actually, Telltale Games' games in General.

The premise of it is that it's like a Choose your own Adventure book, where you're offered prompts and your options can dictate how the story can go. I've played the demo and had some laughs out of Tales from the Borderlands.

So with my love of XCOM, and the fun of a good story game, I would love to see XCOM 1.5: The Volunteer, inspired by the designers saying that everyone's volunteers are alive.

So I can only wonder what happened? Did he travel to another temple ship? Or another alien base? Or has he just landed in the middle of the ocean and makes his way to the closest shore to find himself exhausted and out of the frying pan and into the fire?

How about rollover? I had a pretty tanked out Volunteer, with Gene Mods, armour, medals for his bravery... its hard to imagine that he would suddenly forget all those effects. Sure, lose his gear, they can be replaced. His armour would be near impossible to tear off, I assume. So what would be the go? He rolls up on the beach, radiation poisoning starting its crippling effect due to long exposure to plasma (THAT SHOULD HAPPEN), and he has nothing but the PSI Armour on his back. His mind still reeling from the effect of teleportation, he sees others and hides, not knowing who they are or what their intentions may be. Military outfits, not too strange for the coast of... well anywhere at that time.

But hey, maybe they're secretly part of EXALT! He receives their help and passes out, and next thing you know you're forced to go track down your old commander in his living room while he's drinking mountain dew in his trackky dacks. OOOHHH OMINOUS!

Crime and Dalliance

Apt.

I'm not a big fan of multiplayer. I always feel incredibly incompetent against a human opponent, knowing that at any moment I will just get knocked over in an instant because I'm not looking in the right direction, or just wasn't quick enough on the draw, or didn't pump enough bullets into them before they pulled one casing from the magazine and threw it at my head just to spite my pathetic skills.

So when I get into a gaming venue with friends, I prefer Cooperative formats. In this case I mean Heists, part of GTA Online's latest big update.

Everyone, their mother, their grandmother, and their decease families have been rolling in their graves wanting to get heists happening in GTA, and the day it came, the servers basically up and died just trying to handle the influx of returning players, myself included.

My Brother in Law and his best friend were excited too. The best friend works odd and long hours so it has been difficult to convene with him. But Bro-In-Law and I kicked it off with Gusto.

Lester lectured us about the ins and outs of Heisting, gushing with innuendo involving the popping cherries and future experiences that everyone will encounter.

It wasn't until we began the second Heist that we encountered a problem that not only we had to deal with: a lack of assistance.

Now the doctor was a small step towards resolving that solution, being the third to the required quartet of criminal masterminds. But we had nobody else to assist us. Our only solution was to turn to the Internet, request the help of complete strangers to help us through this transition. We found a few players who were all too happy to help, but there were others that were deceitful bastards, piking out at the last minute, less than a hundred metres from the destination before leaving a mocking card and pushing the ejection seat button.

So many times it has happened and it frustrates us to no end that nobody could simply help all the way through, to profit with the rest of us. No, they must give us a taste of what victory could be and leave like it was the funniest prank ever played.

The petty spite these internet trolls plague other players, those enthusiastic to complete these missions, is too much, driving everyone into madness.

Let alone playing by yourself with a pickup party.  It's impossible.  I would spend hours just waiting on players to connect, seeing invites go unaccepted, seeing interested players join and bail, either after seeing nobody else or after waiting five minutes before giving up like I want to.

I could just give up.  But I won't.  We will find our Fourth.  And we will call him Fourthy, and we will worship him like a god.

Air vents should be in Xcom

I'm pretty obsessed with Xcom, and I keep thinking of other ways that would improve upon it.  Xcom Long War goes a long way towards that, but I do feel it misses a point when each class is basically recycled abilities with a handful of unique ones to make sure there is still definition between them.

But other things I think about are the covert missions, and how sub classing would be a fun addition to that.  Sure you have your gene mods and can use them to their advantage in mission, but I would like to play out some part of that covert mission using a unique set of skills.  This is pretty much inspired by Splinter Cell, which I have been obsessively watching videos of lately, and wondered what a single character moving about the secret EXALT facilities would've been like, directly controlling their infiltration and their actions, possibly changing the effect of the eventual battle with EXALT in the end by sabotaging communications or the reinforcements themselves, maybe collecting further intel on their whereabouts or striking at further hidden bases.

And you would have your subclass abilities providing bonuses like "sneak peek: cannot be seen at corners unless theyve shot or are on overwatch," or "Monkey Grip: able to hand over ledges or on certain wall surfaces", or "Execution: able to melee kill living enemies with less than 8/14 health instantly."  Maybe that's a bit much, but it's an idea.

Minecraft for my Mega Drive

Free games are great, aren't they? Its a good thing Xbox have their Games for Gold members, which increases my stockpile of unplayed games fortnightly.

So come the month of April, I'm prepped to download a pair of games that I probably won't get around to for months. One of them I look at and all I are is this poor sod about to get smushed by a giant eyeball that must have fallen off of the rotten corpse of a giant, and a big title saying TERRARIA wrapped in moss and other assorted flora.

alright, I should give it a few minutes at the very least.

I load up the new game and generate my character, making him the closest to a sonic the hedgehog cosplayer as possible, and I was dropped onto Grass Hill Zone, with the world choice of "Small".

Oh yeah, this looks good. Nice colours, and a fella walking around with some boring name. Let's just call him "Knobstar."

I have a chat with him and its pretty suggestive, telling me that building him a house would be oh so very nice. Well that's great, but you've got two arms, two legs, and a digital heartbeat. Do it your friggin self. But apparently Pixelplegia is a natural state for all the NPCs in todays world.

So with a mumbke and a grumble, I said fuck you and built myself a box from the trees I cut down. I listened to Knobstar as he subtly barked orders at me, a "You should build this and that" with undertones of superiority.

Justified it was, when the final thunk of a torch was placed, the fucker moved right on in, putting his portrait in the corner and making himself very comfy as the night rolled in.

My characters protests were silent as I found myself suddenly surrounded by the undead growling at my Door, a metronome of taps from each zombie; children with open skulls, hookers in fishnets, fishermen in raincoats. All knocking at my door as I glared at Knob star in his deadpan, pixelated bastard eyes.

The days went past. I dug down, exploring and finding treasures and beast alike.  I reached the bottom and panicked more and more as demons and fire imps and worms began swarming me while I raided the obsidian towers standing amongst the lava until I eventually died from heat exhaustion...  also known as melting in lava after being pushed into it.

After resurrecting at the surface, I found the map, showing where I have and haven't explored.  What were merely moments going from one side to the other meant so many more minutes traversing that same region.  After a little bit of thought, I worked out that through all the hours of time that I had spent exploring and killing and dying and everything... It was less than 10% of the actual map.

That's when I reeled back in horror.  It had literally been a couple of days since I started the fuggin game, and I had dug and searched and built and died and though I knew there was more... I didn't think that taking five, maybe ten, minutes just to walk to one side of what's called a "small" map.

But... I trundled on until I thought to myself... I should build a Castle.  Somewhere all my NPC's would be happy to live in.  I laid out the plan and dug into the mountain nearby and laid out the stone, the walls and some platforms so I could go up and down.

Then a message popped up.

"An Evil Presence is watching you..."

Well that's unnerving.  But I plodded on, thinking all would be fine.  I finished the lining the walls of my castle, and was ready to start annexing all the rooms when another message appeared.

"The eye of Cthulhu has Awoken!"

And that's when the aforementioned giant Eyeball from the cover came crashing down on my parade (Thankfully not destroying any of my walls). The panic was real. A giant flailing pixelated eyeball was throwing itself at me, or sitting by while it shot minions at me. It took a little bit before I figured out how to dodge his charges and attack when he's not. It all worked well.

Until his retina fell off.  It dropped off and suddenly rather than staring into the blue rimmed soul of Cthulhu, I was staring into the many fanged maw of Cthulhu.  Then the fight started again, jumping and running and striking until it reached the motions and the whites of his eyes plopped down in defeat.

That's the life and times of someone playing Terraria.  And yet there is still more for me to do.  So much more...

Now to figure out how to kill Knobstar...

Are you, or are you not alone?

I laughed WAY too hard

A few months ago, Jygg made a pretty straightforward facebook post.

"Its 2015. Suppose i should get around to watching Evangelion."

Knowing that Jygg is much like our mutual Blokenstein friends, in that they can rarely pass up giant monstrosities beating the snot out of each other, i was a little surprised that he had waited this long.  Then again, everyone and their mother would warn against Whingy- Sorry, Shinji- and that can turn everyones nose up at it like spoilt milk.  Not that i can blame them.

Worse yet, the last couple of episodes were a train wreck, so the first thing i said to him was to find a way to dodge those and get the End of Evangelion film, since that gives a proper ending.

It got me to thinking though.  A few years ago, there was a reboot that richard had in his collection.  Now forgiving its shitco- sorry, shortcomings- i really quite like Evangelion so I gave it a crack.  I wasnt really disappointed.  In a movie length time, it covered all the basics and changed things up enough to make it feel fresh, rather than just the same old guff.  New visual touchups put it into a darker, and smoother, light; and it really hastened the pace from the original show.

It left me excited to see the next movie, but alas it was a long time away before they would release it.  Since then, i kept a stray thought to the show and delved through online wiki pages to learn more about the Angels and the other behind-the-scene characters and events.

Naturally, Jygg posting about watching it for the first time, and i figured i might see what i can get from Netflix or Hulu.  Sadly the show isnt available through the Apps, but the DVDs are in Netflix.

Just quickly: Netflix is a godsend.

So i put my request in for the first and second DVDs and now im waiting for the third to be available, and now i can see where it really changes up the story.

I had started from 1.11 and plagued through it a few times so that I could pick up on all the nuances that cropped up.  Then one time for the fan service, which was surprisingly not that flagrant.

Then I got 2.22 (or whatever it is, fuck knows why they're doing like that) and immediately began with a story as far off from Tokyo-3 to the tune of a bat shit crazy girl singing along lile sjes goong to school while in a quadrapedal Eva with a lance.

Immediately I sat up wondering where the show was going to deviate and I was happy to find that aside from the overlying tone of deceit from the higher ups and the naivety of the kids, it was practically unfamiliar territory. A new show even, providing information that I didn't know before.

Like, did you know that the entire southern hemisphere is uninhabited, and flooded with blood?  Cos the oceans all turned to blood from the impact on Antarctica.  That completely went over my head in the original, if that was a thing that came up.

The end of the mini movie left things up in the air for me. While there are elements from the original show used in the leadup, I really want to know what's going to happen.  I just have to wait for episode 3.fkn-whatever-it-is to come out for Netflix DVD collection.

I expect this to be part of the next episode.

GTA VI: London? Could be cool

Four was in Liberty City. Five was in Los Santos. Six could be anywhere, and I vote for London.
London hasnt been mentioned in years in GTA, only one game in the series and it was the old 2D series, and with a long history of mobsters and underworld crime, it would be a shame not to play with it, especially in a parody sense.

But given the chemistry of GTAV with the very cool SWITCH system I don't see why they couldn't bring it back with some new characters. But who would fit the profile for the cast? I have a few ideas of who they could base them on.

Ace (Dr Who)
Ace is one of the best companions in the shows history. Pretty much prepared for anything, she was game to do just about anything. Especially if it involved explosives. As one of the first female lead characters of the series (GTAO characters don't count) the potential could start a new era for the HD series.

Rick or Vyvyan (The Young Ones)
Anarchists at heart, and in life, these guys cause chaos wherever they go. Why not take a more offensive and proactive role by giving them guns and a target to run down?

Bacon or Big Chris (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels)
This seems like an obvious choice, getting any Jason Statham or Vinnie Jones character out as the street wise gangster to level out the extremities of the other characters.

Then there's the Online Component. Sure, you could probably keep using the same toon you levelled up from when you were in Los Santos, have them fly in for one reason or another, but as GTA Online stands, it has the variety that some games lack, but falls short in depth. You get all these different missions, unlocked as you gain ranks, but no motivation to do them aside from different ways to get money, or different ways to be competitive.

So I propose adding some history to your favourite mute. Have him roll up and do his missions with some actual purpose and motivation, not some thinly veiled favour for Trevor or Martin "Mad Mex" Madrazo.

And how about some collectables? I would like a spot in my GTAO garage reserved for a Space Docker, or the various new stock cars that are up for grabs.

In your face and off your arse

Jenny got a FitBit for her birthday and she has continued to be very diligent with it.  Im rather proud of her. At one point I decided to try and join her, even though I didn't have my own Fitbit.  I downloaded the app and began putting in my details.

On top of that I found a companion app called FitRPG, a very simple app that turns your exercise habits into an RPG game, converting your exercise into health points and equipment.  You could take on encounters, fighting bosses and stuff in a numbers game that you don't really get to see.

Its really basic though.  No interaction or interface, more like one of those strategy games that are a series of countdown timers.

Then I had a thought.  They're doing it around the wrong way for me.  Don't turn the exercise into a game, that just means you have to find motivation to exercise so you can continue with this simple game. Turn the game into an exercise.

Say you're playing a big game, like Fallout 3, or Skyrim.  You'll be spending a good few hours sloughing through levels and missions and such.  But generally, you wont be moving much.  But then you turn on a function, and now every half hour the game stops and wont continue playing until you, i dunno, do ten pushups or situps, or do twenty star jumps.  Or if you've walked for too long, like taken 1000 steps, you have to run in place for two minutes.

I've thought of doing this myself, without forced prompt but thinking I would do it between missions, but I'm incredibly lazy.  So forcing the subject would be much more effective.  I want to play the game, and if I cant play it unless I close this popup and do my ten situps.

Borderlands the... Post Sequel?

S

Randy Pitchford.  Charming; Handsome; Fun Loving.  A pittance of pleasurable features on his business card.

He's also the head of one of my favourite Shooter series, Borderlands.  So I was rather happy to hear that they are prepared to make their third iteration, and are eager to hire people on.

So I sent in my email and simply said "I'm not an industry badass, I have no technical qualifications, but if you need anything, AND I MEAN ANYTHING, from this dislodged Australian, then please give me a bell."

It won't amount to anything, but you can't say I didn't put my 2 cent in.  But thats what this blog is for, to turn that copper into a shiny gold dollar coin.  So here we go for a list of things I want to see in Borderlands 3.

Random Setting for Skins and Heads 
Ive talked about this before, and i want to talk about it again. Because aesthetics is a null point for me, especially if they dont serve a purpose aside from the matter of collecting them.  So i would happily like a random setting for them so I can show off my collection without scrolling through and picking how i should be tarted up today.

Rare Currency Auto-Collection
This is the most frustrating thing ever. Toddling around and searching for purple bricks or Lunar rocks only to have realised I've left something in the oven and have to plod on with the little niggling feeling that I've left something behind, specifically the respective currency.

Background Downloads
Just last night, i fired up BL1.5 and had to download a couple of things, namely the first of the four upcoming DLC, Lady Hammerlock, and a Compatibility Pack.  It took the better part of an hour to download the lot of them, leaving me there to twiddle my thumbs at 2:30 in the morning.  So some background effort would be nice.

Shared World Shooter, ala Destiny
Destiny is a good game, right?  But it has obviously been wasted.  So why not show them how to fuggin do it properly.  Get your massive areas, new regions and everything, and go have a blast runnig around like mad with a couple of guys and gals you pick up along the way.  Throw in random encounters, and periodic world special events that you dont have to fuggin pay for (thank you, Destiny DLC) and you'll have a beauty of a game.

Divergent Stories
Every character you make will go through the same story.  But that can get stale very easily.  So why not encourage different characters not just with different play styles and a few unique callouts in dialog, but with unique experiences and encounters! Have their ulterior motives a bit more proactive and go off on their own!

Events

Have your daily events. Have weekly events. Have monthly events. Have Quarterly Major Events.  Just dont charge for every single one of them.

Companion Game
A lot of games have a Companion App now, and they usually serve little purpose than to make up a resume to show how hardcore you are about whatever game you're playing.  So how about giving it a purpose by making a side game that can influence the main game?  Do some base building, sending associates out on missions, and playing out another story on top of that using side characters that you dont normally get to play.  I admit i would like a TRPG, but whatever.

Thats my Dollar.  Dont spend it all in one place.