What if Blizzard made a Cow Clicker?

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I came across the term Cow Clicker a few years back when someone explained what it actually is, which turned out to be simply a joke from a guy about Social Games like Farmville by making a Social game where all you do is Click a Cow every six hours.  Ironically, it became quite popular.

I've been playing a handful of Cow Clickers similar to Farmville the last few years, starting with Tiny Village, a Stone Age themed town builder where the aim of the game is to build and build and keep going until there just isn't anything else.
After that I found Skylanders: Lost Islands.  Same idea, but with the added feature of being able to use my Skylander Figures to throw into the game.  I would send them on adventures, which were simply just countdowns with rewards of Gold after I had farmed for Energy, which I would then use for buildings that would either give me more money, energy, Kingdom Experience, or Gems which offered exclusive stuff.

I had left it in the capable hands of my mother, who to my knowledge has continued to build upon the villages and islands since.
Since I've moved to USA I hadn't even had an inkling of thought towards such Cow Clickers until one night at my Brother-in-law's house the TV was rambling off in the background while we played Cards Against Humanity with our respective spouses, and an ad came up for Clash of Clans.

It was a bit cute watching a skeleton run and run, dodging explosions and arrows while carrying a comical bomb in it's claws until it reached a rock wall, sat back with a sigh, and let the fuse go out.

Then there was something about Archers and Mr T on a Hog asking if he could join in...  It got me curious, so I downloaded it.  It's for free, so why not?

Only a few weeks have passed and I've levelled myself up a fair bit, thrown troops at enemy fortresses to attain whatever resources I can from them, while keeping my own resources and defences in check, trying out numerous combinations to optimise efficency while I wait for the countdown of structure upgrades allowing me to build more or better units and/or structures.

And from the same company I found Boom Beach, which all the same premises except using modern features and everyone placed on islands, attacked from a Gun Boat and Landing Craft, all of which you upgrade over time while defending your own base from the occasional attack, and so on and so forth.

It's a little fun, for a Cow Clicker, because you can be more interactive.  It's fun seeing AI bases and figuring out how to get around the defences while minimising casualties.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I'm a fan of Blizzard's Warcraft and Starcraft.  And I sit here looking at the games and wondering "What would an X-craft game be like if they reskinned this?"

Could it be as story intensive as either the Starcraft or Warcraft series?  Heck no, it would probably have someone going "Damn you meddling kids" and that's about it.

But the real drawback on this is that the game won't have the same strategy to it as the computer game normally would.  Though I'm sure there are ways around that.

Bloody DevilBowl

"Boss, wots dat Skwid doin?"

I am currently in my first Blood Bowl League, playing through the Video game with a few American friends and friends of friends that I met through Warmachine.  I don't expect to be able to get like "top player" in this.  In fact, I had my eye on the Wooden Spoon until I won the other night, but in losing out on that, I'm going to have as much fun as possible in the mean time.

My team?  Orks.  Because I love Orks.  Anyone who knows me well enough would say "Medway?  Ork Player."

So here I am, playing my Orks and since I'm playing with American friends, I wanted to exploit the fact that I'm Australian.  So after a bit of thinking, and I only mean a bit, I came up with the Orkstrayans. (STRAYA! WOO!  ORKY ORKY ORKY, OI OI OI!)

Two Black Orks: Ridgy Didge and Aunty Jack.  Aunty Jack is literally my best player.  At the moment of this typing, she has 10 spp all from Badly Hurting people. That's right, she's ripping their bloody arms off

I feel a bit of pride from that lucky coincidence.

I am very excited in playing this, pretty much every week I rock up on a monday night and game on!  I've laughed playing against Khorne while having my arse handed against me.  I cringed playing against Nurgle (He had really unlucky rolls.  Like so bad, he lost his tough fkn monster this game, and the next from me singling it out...).  And I still have a bunch of matches to go which I'm excited to play.

It's a frustrating game.  It's a game that you get so fucking angry at dice rolls.  Like blowing your sneakers, you know it could fucking happen when you really need it the most.  Or just spending a minute trying to figure out what your first move will be when you have no rerolls and are under the very real impression that you could roll one or more Skulls, knocking you on your arse before you even start doing anything.

But that's the charm of the game.  You rage at those fucking dice.  You jump up and down as you fail to pick up a ball, with a reroll, but you just can't lift that slippery fucker because looking at Nurgle Warriors is like hammering a nail through your scrotum, and because it's raining.  Two very big negatives.  But you rage at your tiny chances and carry on like a twit on Facebook about it because that's what you do between games.

I can't wait for more games, I want to see the lads back home set up the Blokenstein League, and I am just happy I'm getting some fun gaming on.

Is there anything I don't like?  It would have to be the post game.  I don't like having to log into the game just to assign abilities and change my lineup.  It's all stuff that could easily be done through a Web Page, or even a tablet app.  It's a simple thing that i hope Blood Bowl 2 will apply.

Month One

My bags were packed with the Essentials. Clothes, Xbox, Miniatures, IKRPG Rulebook, and then all the bits and bobs I was gifting to Jenny.  Mostly various Australian Chocolates,
I left my place in a shambles.  My room was a mess, shit all around, particularly my clothes that I didn't want any more, and the dishes were left on the shelves... I wasn't going to get my bond back.
Luckily I lived with Mum, and she has a dishwasher and kids to help her drop shit off at the lifeline bin.
(I'm a terrible son.  She still loves me though.)
But I went to work, the fifth shift of the week working at the bar Cloudland, and had a nice farewell from the boys.  They said they'd miss me, and they would put the new Glassy Supervisor through the Prison Trials.
The Man, The Legend, the God, Super Dave, drove me back to mine and then to the Airport.  He's going to be in Canada in the next few years, so he's going to make a trip down to the 'Zoo one day and we're going to go out and celebrate.
Stepping onto the plane felt... emotional.  It possibly could have been from the fact that it was hitting me that I was leaving my home that I know well and love, or that everything is finally happening, that I will finally be with Jenny.  Or it could have been that I had one too many hugs with Dave as he dropped me off.
But I was leaving home to finally be with Jenny.  The first leg in a series of hours in reaching my new home, a place called Kalamazoo.
Still, after four years, it still sounds like a town from out west from Brisbane.
The flight itself was long and uncomfortable.  14 hours from Brisneyland to LAX to wait six hours before going to Chicago, a four hour flight, and a few more hours before the embarking on the final 25 minute flight to Kalamazoo.
It's still a strange sensation though to leave Monday morning at 10:30 and arrive 10:30 that night.
There she was though.  Waiting for me with a massive grin on her face.

Censorship at it's subtlest.

The month has been quite a holiday. Playing/Teaching with Taz, catching up with Mum over skype, and visiting people while making myself comfortable here in 'Murica.
The bad news?  I need a Social Security number.  For Everything.  And to get a SIN- I mean SSN - I need to get a Green Card.  Whereas Jenny and I were under the preconception that I would be able to walk off the plane and go straight into working at a Bar that'll appreciate my accent.  Sadly, the situation is not that simple.
But we're working on that.  The paperwork is going in today and I should be all sorted.
The biggest thing that everyone continues to as about is the Wedding.
The plan was simple: Wedding on the beach on St Paddys day.  We would get what we want, which was getting married on the Beach, an Australian-esque setting, and it would end up being at the closest beach we had, South Haven on Lake Michigan.  Then, instead of a normal reception, we would just go on a Pub Crawl.  And because it was St Paddys day, there would be plenty of people drinking with us, probably buying for us because we were just married.
But whenever anyone asks how the wedding was, the first thing I say is "Cold."  Y'see, the winter hadn't quite left yet.  So the beach was frozen over still, and the wind chill could force a Grolar to pack its bags and head back home.

The lead up was fun, getting me clothed and prepared for the day ahead.  My biggest contribution was my choice of tie, something that was outrageous enough to match my attitude, without completely ruining the ensemble.  And I believe I achieved that.
The lunch on the day was nice, we drove back from South Haven and dined at a lovely Italian restaurant in town, down the road from the Hotel Jenny and I would be staying at that night.
It's about now that I will say before I forget that this was all gifted from Jennys Parents, excessively generous people, if you haven't already guessed.  I can't even begin...
But the Lunch/Dinner (Lunner?) did both Jenny and I in.  We immediately were overwhelmed by that comfortable tired feeling that a pasta does when you devour it, so sadly the idea of a Pub Crawl failed to be attended by the guests of honour.
It was a good day none the less.
But now I sit here, somewhat bored by cooking, cleaning, dog sitting and playing GTAV, and wondering what kind of job I can get once I'm allowed to, while also playing in an online Bloodbowl League led by an old Warmachine Buddy, going out to have fun with Jenny and her Family, and posting funny Memes of Ron Swanson onto Facebook.
That'll change sooner or later.

An Army of Four? No problem

That's right, I can use big words too

I started Xcom Enemy Within again with the sole purpose of gaining this achievement, and I was terrified that I would be in deep shit by mid-late game when the big guns began coming out.
Turns out... No. Not at all. The hardest part of the game with only four soldiers is picking what classes you don't want in your standard setup.  And quite frankly, it's the heavy.

Every other class gives you everything you need, whereas the heavy... well he gives you rockets.  Which i don't use anyway.  I probably should, but I don't.

Everything else though?  Fantastic.  Support class for the obvious healing of 10-12 damage depending on who has what medal; Assault Class for the excessive amounts of damage you can pump away, at a guaranteed chance because of either proximity or aim bonuses from medals; Sniper because of "In the Zone" which will deal with those pesky low health enemies that don't take cover and die to a gust of wind; and the MEC Trooper because of the extreme damage output with the Kinetic Fist and it's heavy weapon, the speed at which it crosses the battlefield, and the awesome Robocop voice.

And that's how I ran through Xcom: Enemy Within on Classic without purchasing a Squad Size upgrade.

No, the game did not adjust to my squad size, I still fought about 40 enemies when the HQ was assaulted, including 3 sectopods. No, I did not get overrun every time I went and did an EXALT Mission, because they just aren't that dangerous. No, I did not have any Second Wave features active.  And Yes I was reckless with my troops, especially with my MEC who was always in the middle of the enemies because his damage resistance is the best when within 4 tiles of a target... That is, if they have survived that long.

I have to be honest

I've actually been down in Venezuela saving the local populous from aliens while holding back military organizations with volunteers from Britain, Poland, and several planets with a convergent evolution to Earth that high ranking officials have the privilege of knowing.

The devastation has been largely covered up by a group effort including a hacking system to covering satellites, and generation of word and mouth stories coupled with local media setups.

The reason I'm telling you this is that you may not hear from me again as I am entering a cybernetics program to improve my battle potential, while continuing an extravaganza of social media information for everyone to continue their belief that I am still well.

I don't have long, so I'll make this quick.

This is a terrible April fools joke. I love you jenny. I'll never do this again.