Hand Held, eh?

Project Cafe is the next console in the Nintendo range and mockups of it's controller seems pretty awesome, though ugly. But with the rising generation of Touch screens coming everywhere, making the world a little more intimate with technology, it makes me wonder whether putting a touch screen into a controller is a good idea.

I do approve of the idea. Game developers everywhere will have a Blast giving the players those additional features. Cursors you'd expect to move about using your thumbstick? Use the touchpad instead. Need to assign multiple buttons to get a mid game feature? Use the touchpad. Want to minimalise the players HUD? Use the touchpad! Want to include a minigame for Player 2 to complete while player 1 does something else? Use the touchpad! Want to change songs while in the middle of a game? Use the touchpad!

And there's more where that came from, and developers will take full advantage of the fact. Just ask Sega.

However, what about the consumer? When I buy a console I get a second controller then and there, in case I want to play 2 player or if one controller runs out of battery, or it breaks. I got another controller for my PS3 when I got it, and that put me out of pocket about $75. And that's with discount. While Touchscreens are getting cheaper, the price of a controller will be phenomenal.

I will admit I'm not the most careful person in the world with my controller. I throw it about, I get my greasy pizza fingers over it, etc etc etc. I put this Touchpad controller on a similar level as a PSP, which regrettably has a massive crack in the corner of the screen. So were I to get a controller such as the suspected Project Cafe's, I'd have to take care of it like I do my Game Discs (Which I actually get a little protective of if they're left to collect dust).

Then there's the Rechargeable batteries. Wii and Xbox 360 controllers don't come with this feature, whereas PS3 do. So if you need to buy yourself rechargeable batteries, then that'll increase my budget by like $25.

So I'd wager about $200, including discounts for bulk buying with a console, just to get a preferable controller setup. Seems a bit rich to me, but Nintendo try and do something different with every console. It's an endearing fact, and I do approve of the idea. I just hope the execution works out better than on paper.

Alternative Image?

904USD and losing value each day

Shit.

Scale of the Game

I was thinking about it today. There are a large variety of games that I've looked at, and they all go from varying scales. Not just in model size, but in description of the size of game, though they do go hand in hand. But what would it be like in the minds eye to combine the lot?

Here's an example. 40k Standard at 1:60 scale, a skirmish game with Orks and Space Marines fighting over a communications array. A way down the way, an Epic 40 at 1:600 scale fights to control an area of land. A few hundred miles straight up, there's a Battlefleet Gothic game at it's own scale fighting to stop either fleets from landing more troops.

See what I mean? It's not just a skirmish, but it's one big massive battle.

Dystopian wars has a similar thing but at a wider scale rather than a focal scale. Dystopian wars covers Air, Land and Naval. It doesn't get smaller and it doesn't get into space, but it's still impressive. Though if you cross it over with Firestorm, armada and invasion, you get pretty much all varieties of table top games. Small Skirmish, Large Battle across all territories, and a space battle up above.

So what would you do with this? Personally, i'd try and figure out a way to put it into a role play game. The players would be in control of the situation. They'd have their scenario with their own characters they made, and then situation would arise that they'd have to control a series of boats down a river so they can reach a fortress they're going to defend from a contingent of tanks making their way along. then word comes you have to fly yourselves to the space port to help with the battle in orbit. Maybe give the battleship or dreadnaught some extra stats to give the players an advantage, but nothing majorly significant. Maybe like extra health, or extra weapons.

Perfect reason to do a Dystopian Role Play game. The players are a group of privates who work their way up to take full control of every situation that arrives, from performing artillery strikes to escorting a naval fleet across the sea to their new destination. Then after dealing with the situation there, they fly off to the mountains in a carrier plane and fend off enemies in fighter planes, or heavy bombers.

This is sounding cooler and cooler every moment.

Has it been Six months already?!

Apparently it has. And as of 16th April, I have 1 month to get my arse out of dodge.

Okay, so saying it like that makes it sound like this is a horrible place to live. It really isn't, it's a pretty sweet place. Not far from public transport, particularly a public transport that drops me a few hundred metres away from the front door of the office, rather than about a kilometre.

But relationships take priority, and the landlady is in a pretty good relationship. So good that when the beau asked to move in together, she laughed in his face. Then when he assured her he was serious, she got into a reverie of excitement and panic.

The condition though, and I'm not sure who put up this condition, was that they live together Alone.

So the landlady sat us down and told us the situation and said that she'd sign us up for monthly contracts until we found a new place, and we wouldn't have to worry about the “breaking contract” hassle.

After that I had to think about what I would do about moving. I never really thought I'd be thinking about moving again so soon. Six months legs it faster than a busted meth addict. So I had a quick thought about it and then jumped onto Facebook and asked if anyone was looking for a Roomie.

A little while after, I'd received offers from Penang and Ottawa, even with a home office and access to conventions and girlfriend respectively. But I was also told to move back in with Mum.

This confused me at the time because I thought Dad was moving back from Townsville. The Old Coot moved up there for work because he had disagreements with the mob he was with down here. So he put in a transfer and moved far up the coast.

But over the past year, probably longer, his age and health have really tackled him to the floor and started pummelling him. He's losing his mind because his cholesterol is apparently clogging up the veins to his brain, so he's made mistakes at work such as banging up cars, or driving off down the road with a half loaded trailer of unchained cars and the ramps still down and sparking on the ground.

On top of that he's apparently been having mini strokes, so now his face is half sloped and he's barely comprehensible. At least that's what his sister said when she called me up after visiting the old boy.

Eventually it was decided that Dad was to return to Brisbane so that we can take care of him. Dad said he wanted to drive down himself, but after being told No several times over mum organised to have him come down with one of the trucks.

Dad has other plans. He doesn't want to move back down apparently, so he's coming down just to sign a few docos before going back up on the next truck up.

So that leaves me an open bed to park myself in. Now 6 months ago, I was hesitant to move back in with Mum for a few reasons. But thinking about it again, it's not too big a deal. It's mostly the money I'd be concerned about, and I think I might be able to save a few dollars living with mum again. Nothing too substantial, but still its better than nothing.

And I have to get Jenny over here, so extra dosh is good dosh. Now I have to wait about 4 weeks before I can move in with Mum because my eldest sister is moving house and parking her gear in mums place as well, then one of Mums friends wants to have a night down at the pub and crash at mums place, especially convenient since she's about 400m down the road from it.

I'm not the only one who has the bright idea of moving in with parents, because Dick'n'Mel are doing much the same but for different reasons.

About a month or two ago, Richard was finally given his final notice at work and has since sustained himself on his payout figure and Mel's income. That didn't last long though, as Mel left her job a week or two ago because she was sick of it.

So now they're moving in with Mels parents because they can't afford to live where they are, and Richards parents have no room. And to boot, Mels parents currently reside in Townsville. So they're moving across the country. Their plan is to move in with Mels parents who are trying to sell their house and move down to Toowoomba, so Dick'n'Mel will be going down with them. Mel will find a job there and Richard will start study again.

I feel they've given up and taken the easy way out. But, it's their choice so I'm leaving them to it and helping where I can.

So that's the latest happenings. It's fun and games after that, so game on.

Wolves of Winter

Khador as an empire have a very simple mentality to them which can be aptly described as such: “Place Weapon into Enemy Figure at High Velocity”. There is an abbreviation to this but it's not PWEFHV, because that's just too silly to put into conversation, let alone pronounce. It's simply “Axe to Face”, and even though only a relative few figures in Khador actually hold an axe, many of them can be used in an Axe like fashion including the Spriggan Lance, which can put a nasty bop on the noggin when used as such.

The thing about “Axe to Face” is that it's occasionally a little too simple and can leave little room to move. You can run around knocking peoples teeth out with a sharpened lump of metal secured to a stick, or you can stand there and bop someone on the noggin with a sharpened lump of metal secured to a stick. This isn't always reliable, and in Warmachine this really comes down to Maths where one figure has better stats than the other and your figure may get shot before he can reach them, stabbed because he got charged first, or generally can't hit their high Defence.

And so this is where we come to the subject at hand which focuses on a different approach with night classes of “Axe to Face”, which is called “Utility”. A unit with utility can do more than just Axe to Face and can do things such as Provide Cover, increasing Axe to Face success, or making a Ice Blocks.

You'd think that last one wouldn't apply to Warmachine, or even Hordes, however that is not the case. The Greylords are a very capable unit and can certainly make Ice Blocks, and they make them out of enemy targets. Not over several targets, but they save themselves a little effort and make it in bulk by targeting a heavy target such as an enemy Warjack.

This is a spell called Ice cage, featured on the Greylord Ternion. It starts off as a simple cumulative negative to a targets defence, described as a cold wind that the target is huddling against, until the target becomes stationary. Which means the target has stopped moving because it's suddenly frozen up from the cold wind getting a bit too spiteful.

As soon as the Greylords have finished making their ice block, they call out to whatever is nearby, particularly a heavy hitting unit or warjack, and order it to dig in. With Axe To Face being a large proficiency in Khador, they dig in really deep and nine times out of ten will destroy the poor warjack that couldn't stand the cold. If anything is left it stands impotent until the end of it's turn unless it's controlling Warcaster decides to throw a cup of cement at it and order it to harden up.

Being the spellcasters they are, they aren't limited to the one spell. They can also defend their Komrades from the terrible effects of ranged combat and those nasty spells that want to cause trouble to the disciples of Axe to Face. So they create a murky cloud to follow someone around and obscure their opponents aim. A large warjack coming at you a little foggily is definitely something to worry about, especially when you can't seem to hit the broad side of it's barn.

But life isn't complete when you're just dropping smoke around and turning people into giant icicles all the time. Sometimes you have to just wave your hand a bit funny and make all the bad people go away, and that's something the Greylords are able to do with relative ease with their spell Frost Bite, AKA: the Magic Shotgun.

The Magic Shotgun is strong as the Greylord Ternion have a high Magic ability, and coupled with the effects of making a Spray attack, there isn't much that can gain defensive benefits from the magic shotgun. Not even being a fiendish ghost that haunts the battlefield shooting the snot out of people because it likes to.

So with this array of options, the Greylords are a good choice to support your army against the fiends of of the world. Kept well behind friendly forces, they can just cause shenanigan after shenanigan while everyone takes advantage of them over and over again,

Then there's someone travelling along with them skipping along to "Anything you can do, I can make better". This is the Koldun Lord, AKA: Bad Santa. He's not really that bad. But he's an angry looking man who deserves a reindeer with a red nose. Instead, he can marshal a pair of Warjacks.

But what a strange song to be singing? What would he mean by that?

Well ladies and gentlemen, the Koldun Lord has an ability called Elite Cadre. Elite Cadre gives particular units in the army a special effect. This effect is called "Battle Wizard". A Koldun Lord is a rank or two above the leader of a Greylord Ternion. In the time to get to this point, he spends his time going back to school learning the tried and true methods of Khador, while not forgetting his roots, and this is something he teaches Greylord Ternions that are out in the field with him.

So his roots were Spellcasting, flinging clouds and Magical Shotguns everywhere, along with blowing a cold wind someone's way; Khadors tried and True method is called Axe to face, which is rather self explanatory. The connection: Battle Wizard. It's pretty simple. If a Koldun Lord, or a Greylord Ternion fielded with him, are in an Infantryman’s face and aren't dead from either old age, a heart attack, or a hammer to the noggin, he can attack that infantryman. If the infantryman is destroyed, he may freely cast a spell.

Now a magical shotgun straight into the middle of unit is very possible. The thing about spells is that you may cast them straight into their face, regardless of whether you're engaged or not. So with a swing of the axe you remove one fellow, and with a wave of the other you make another few disappear into the afterlife. Or they can put a gloomy cloud over someone’s life. Or they can turn the wind vicious and freeze someone to the bones.

The Koldun Lord is probably not the only person who thinks it's rude to cloud up someone's day. He also frowns upon Warjacks being Disrupted because certain wire heads can't keep their fingers out of power sockets, and they keep sending their stupid static electricity to the local warjacks.

So with a little bit of concentration, and a little magic, the Koldun Lord waves his magic hand and removes the Disruption that the poor warjack is suffering and then gives it a point of Focus, so it may cause some shenanigans that it wasn't meant to do before.

Lastly, because the Koldun Lord loves his warjacks so much, his Warjacks love him. And one must always protect the ones you love. So, in turn, while the Koldun Lord is nice and close to his warjacks, safely tucked away under their wings, he gains increased armour from the nasty people that are trying to get at him for causing so many shenanigans. Having warjacks get back up to scratch after a nasty headache from static electricity? Making Greylord Ternions charge more often with their axes and magic shotguns? Spreading the Influenza Virus? It's just not on, says everyone else. Not on indeed.

Koldun Lords come in all shapes and sizes though, and all of them love their Warjacks. And as a particular tradition of various games, it's the female that tends to stand out. This is where Koldun Kommander Alexandra Zerkova comes into the picture. A warcaster with a flavour of Greylords.

Now Zerkova isn't the same as other Warcasters. Other Warcasters are very head on, and to win a game they'll be looking into the whites of their opponents eyes. Zerkova is what's known as a Spellcaster and instead takes her place at the back of the lines throwing spells at everyone.

This is a shock to the system for Khador. With an Axe to Face methodology, they haven't prepared themselves for spellcasting, whereas other factions have an Arc Node to help them fling spells across a battlefield without the hassle of having to get anywhere near the pointy bits of their enemy.

To help seal the deal as a proficient Spellcaster, she has enlisted the help of various Orgoth Artefacts, six in total, which she carries about on her being to seal the deal. To start are her weapons, the Rod of Whispers, and her sword Quietus.

The Rod of Whispers isn't too fancy. It's a short range with decent power behind it, mostly due to it being so creepy that most warriors will get such a bad case of the heeby jeebies, they kick the bucket right then and there. Quietus however is a different case. Being a sword, it has a harder time giving the heeby jeebies to warriors, but makes a Warjack drop the rear engine when it gets conked. It'll instantly have a mechanikal seizure and freeze up for a round.

Her other Orgoth Artefacts aren't as simple as these two. They don't deal damage but they help her in her role of being a Spellcaster, and one helps her defensively. This is the Orgoth Seal, and I don't mean 'of approval'. It actually denies by lowering the range of spells targeting her, and if they do hit the opposing spellcaster suffers damage. Just a smidgen of spite there.

The spellcasting artefacts are all very nifty. While Zerkova can only use one per spell, they change the way she decides to cast spells. Whether it's throwing a Razor Wind at a stealthy solo sneaking up behind you, using the Ghost Stone; casting a Twister towards a unit that was just that little bit too faraway, using the Lens of Tarvodh; or influencing a grunt to attack it's own standard bearer at less spell cost, thanks to the Focus Sphere.

These are just a few spells she has access to, and what she hasn't forgotten is her Greylord Training but with her own twist of lime. Razor Wind, a standard spell which is as close as she can get to Frostbite. It's cheap, it's got the same Power with a little extra range, but the loss of being a spray is a downer. That's how the dice rolls when you're a Warcaster.

Twister is her version of Blizzard, but instead of clouding a friends day, it gives enemies a foggy outlook on life. It even causes damage! It's a piddly amount, but it's still damage!

Influence however is not a standard Greylord sort of spell. If she hits, which is likely, the target has a spasm and hits the guy next to him.

"Oh sorry mate. You can stop playing dead now. Hey where did you get all the tomato sauce?"

There's still more from her Greylord Ranks that is still well appreciated, including her own twist on the Ice Cage spell. It's not Warjack Flavoured Ice Block, but it makes for chilly units that are much easier to hit for everyone. On top of that, the unit can't double time or pull one of their fancy moves that they're always showing off.

Speaking of Fancy moves, she has a few of her own. Being a warcaster, she has to have a few signature moves and one of them is Banishing Ward. While Zerkova isn't the happiest person in the Iron Kingdoms, she doesn't like her forces being all "Doom and Gloom" on her. So why not remove the problem and prevent it from happening again. No more spells being cast on you, lads. She could even cast it on her Warjacks whom, like the Koldun Lord, she has a bit of an affinity for as well with a pair of her spells.

One of the problems facing Warjacks these days is units. They block routes, and tie them up to no end. It's always frustrating having a warjack perfectly capable warjack surrounded by an opponents Kossite Woodsmen, and able to do Pot with it all.

Zerkova knows this and designed her own spell, Force Blast, which shunts enemies straight away from the aforementioned warjack, untying it from being targeted by free strikes and not tied down by silly little girly men who stand in it's way.

The other is a reactive spell. Because Zerkova isn't the toughest of Warcasters, she needs a little bit of help. And when someone gets that little bit too close, she chooses a Warjack to go ahead and offer a massive king hit to the silly bugger who thought they'd try and get a good look at her. It'll only happen once every so often, but sometimes it'll be just enough to keep someone at bay. Heck, it might even destroy a Warcaster or a Warlock.

Now you know her shenanigans. She's absolutely full of them, especially her feat "Howling Wind". You can't shoot; you can't double time; you can't sprint at someone; you can't hear your commanding officer yelling profanities; you can't even pull off those fancy moves you learnt in boot camp. You're stuck with the basics: Waddle up to someone and hit them.

Sometimes that's just enough, but you may cop a warjack to the face, or you'll stand there looking silly. I'm sure quite a lot of warriors would prefer to stand there looking silly rather than cop that warjack with the platter of Massive Axe to Face.

So while Zerkova is wandering around, entertained with the thick foliage which she simply prances through, ignoring the bitter cold that is cast her way, there is a great knowledge that she's not the only one putting in the effort to help her Komrades, and that her training will never fail her, nor will it fail the Greylord Ternions and Koldun Lords that are speckled across the borders of Khador.

Character Warjacks

When I think of a Character Warjack, I think of a Warjack that is devastating, a Warjack that can change the game, and just gets better with a Warcaster they were raised with. A Warjack that is an Epic Incarnation of an older Warjack.

Beast-09 is a perfect example of this. A Juggernaut with more abilities than Critical Freeze. On top of that, it gained the ability to move when damaged, Reach and Thresher on its Axe which kept Critical Freeze. On top of that, it spends a focus and gains a bonus to attacks against living warrior models. On top of that, the ability to reroll charge and slam attacks when fielded alongside it's desired Warcaster, Sorscha. On top of that, Epic Sorscha can bond with him to provide her Freezing Aura.

Drago is just the same, where it's a powerful Berserker with extra features that evade my mind at the moment, and gets an extra dice on it's attack while with Vlad. Considering the other benefits both Vlads provide, Drago becomes pretty amazing.

Behemoth is the Character Jack for everyone. He has no preference and gains the same benefits any other warjack would get, but has his own unique layout of weapons and features that no other Warjack has. So he pretty much gets exempt from this discussion.

Same goes for the Scrapjack, not because he doesn't get better with his preferred Warcaster, the Old Witch, but because he can't be placed with any other Warcaster.

So that leaves us with Torch, our very own Assault Kommando Warjack. He has his own layout of weapons, including a Buzzsaw and an Open Fist with a mounted Flame thrower. He has additional features, such as Smoke Bombs and an immunity to Corrosion and Fire, he charges through rough terrain without hassle, and he can bond with Strakhov.

That's about it. He's about as special as the Behemoth in that instance, except that he can be bonded to a particular Warcaster. In fact, that's about all the benefits he gets. Beast-09 and Drago have affinities which gives them the bonuses for fielding them with their Warcaster. I feel Torch was ripped off on this aspect, but I live and let live. Torch is still awesome, and I'll use him with Strakhov when I play him.

But coming up over the horizon is Harkevich and his own character Warjack: Black Ivan. I don't know anything about them except that they look cool. And I mean freaking cool. Even Imperial might look less cool! _*cough*

Either way, I'm going to have a Fourth Destroyer Warjack. But the lucky Bastard will have special rules.

Now as a Character Warjack, will he get benefits like Beast-09, or will he be pretty static like Torch?

Deviating from the Norm

For many years I've played Warmachine and throughout those years I've played Gurvaldt Irusk. I was there during the invasion of Llael, the Battle of Thornwood, right up to the destruction of Fort Rathborne. (I am fairly sure that's not what it's called, but I'm running with it until I get Legends in hand again)

He's served me well for many, many years. But I think it's about time I shelved him for a little while.

The problem with playing with a single Warcaster regularly is that he gets too familiar with my opponents. So they know how to play against my army. And they know how annoying he is too.

Kommandant Irusk is well known to be annoying through his feat which gave a 50% “Tough Roll” to all Warrior Models that didn't cause Knockdown if passed, which also went on top of your standard “33% Tough Roll that caused Knock Down if passed”. This was MK1.

MK2 gave a slight tap on the head with the Nerf Bat so that it still gives Tough to models that don't have it, but it overlaps the tough that other models have with the 50% chance. On top of that, all warrior models don't get Knocked Down. It's a very nifty feat and trying to get past it can be near impossible.

In turn, Irusk can hit back hard. Not necessarily himself, but the Warrior Models around him, because of Battle Lust. Fearless and an Additional Damage Die on melee attacks? Oh what fun has been had. I killed a Behemoth in one turn from my unit of Great Bears. Three attacks and it was destroyed, I believe. So with 2d6 for normal attacks, 1d6 for Charging, 1d6 for Battle Lust, and 1d6 for Weapon Master, then minus 9 from the result, then rolling really high...

Even on Ironfangs, with their P+S 13+2d6 attacks can ultimately annihilate most light Warjacks and Warbeasts on a couple of charge attacks with Battle Lust. If they hit of course.

Lastly is Superiority and Iron Flesh. I love seeing a Berserker running around with the same stats as a Slayer Warjack (SPD 6, MAT 7, DEF 13) before exploding. Oh how I love when he explodes.

As for Iron Flesh, well, placing it on a unit of Ironfangs or Great Bears can make them nigh untouchable with the defence of a Warcaster.

Those are this most commonly used spells I find on Kommandant Irusk. Inhospitable Ground is regularly ignored, and I can find better use of 3 Focus than to cast Grind or Airburst. While I appreciate that Airburst is now worth it's focus cost (rather than 4 in MK1), I don't find many uses for it at most times, which is sad for a spell that ignores almost everything.

But the same goes for Supreme Kommandant Irusk. Battle Lust remains in the same position, Tactical Supremacy for those units that would like the extra boost in positioning, and Fire For Effect for the Long Range Bombardier, such as a Destroyer or a Winterguard Mortar Crew.

Actually, one day I want to use Koldun Kapitan Valachev to attach to Herne and Jonne so as to have a Fully Boosted Scatter Shot.

Anyway, it's still the same Deal. All too familiar to my opponents. So I'm going to change what Warcasters I play.

While the list isn't limited, I still cut out who I didn't want to play. Orsus Zoktavir was the first to go as my friend Uncle Biggins adores him and played both Incarnations as if he were a God. Next to go were the remainder of the Big Three, Vlad and Sorscha. Both are rather powerful, and I've never really had much appeal in playing them. While their Epic Incarnations aren't as powerful, I know others who have a similar stance with them as Uncle Biggins does his Butcher.

So that left about 4 Warcasters. Alexander Karchev the Terrible; Zevhanna Agha,The Old Witch of Khador and Scrapjack; Koldun Kommander Alexandra Zerkova; Kommander Oleg Strakhov.

I've played Karchev before today and I don't find too much appeal in him. I like what he stands for, but his style of play just doesn't appeal to me. So that leaves Three.

I don't have anything against these Warcasters. I've hardly played any of them, and they're all very different from the other warcasters in the faction. On top of that, Kommander Harkevich is also coming later in the year with his character Destroyer “Black Ivan”. More on that in another very excited post.

So now I'm going to make up lists using what I have and these Warcasters. Old Witch will be first to be played, but I do have to get some glue and find her Gnarled Staff, before assembling Strakhov and Zerkova.

Now to cogitate on how they play. Maybe I should pull out some of the old posts I hid about Zerkova and Strakhov. I'm no Legendary Tactician, but I have the medal to prove it.

Remastering the Remastered

If you're going to do something, you gotta do it right. So when Sony had announced that they were doing a series of High Definition Remasters of games, I jumped for joy, and again when I saw the list of planned games. I didn't mind that they were in collection discs, in fact it was awesome because some of the games on there I hadn't had the chance to play.

For example, there's the ICO and Shadows of the Colossus games. I own Shadows of the Colossus, and I love it. It's a fun game, where you climb over giant Golems to find various weakspots on them and stab them. It's entertaining and can get really hard, but there aren't a lot of Colossi to fight, I think there's 16 in all, and after that it's effectively the end of the game. There isn't much to deviate from after that, though a player can go through again where the Colossi are more difficult to climb over and kill.

So when I bought it, it wasn't worth the $110 that I paid for it, but I still liked it. Reaching the vulnerable points was always different because they came in various shapes and sizes, from a general Humanoid, to a small flying bat, to a water serpent, to a flying serpent (These colossi are made of stone and fur btw), to a sand serpent, to a goat, to a paraplegic... And then there's more, some more aggressive than others.

So when it comes out with Ico, a similar game where you guide a princess through a ruined temple (This is all I know about the game), I'm going to trade in my PS2 copy to get it at a lower price.

on top of that, it's one less game I have to worry about from my PSTwo library.

Another collection coming is the Splinter Cell Trilogy. I love Splinter Cell. They're just awesome. I haven't played them in a very long time and have never owned them. So to have all three in hand, and looking awesome at the same time, I'm getting a bit excited. The last Splinter Cell game I'd played was Conviction, where after so many years of working for a Secret Organisation, Sam Fisher is basically working for himself, and gets to do what he likes. The loses the majority of his gadgets and gets to go all badarse on everyone.

So much fun. And one less game to my PSTwo Library, since I own Chaos Theory (Splinter Cell 3).

One series of games I'd hoped they would remaster though would be the Ratchet and Clank Series. Not only because it takes a considerable chunk out of my Library (three cases to be exact) but because they would just be that little more awesome with a boost to the visuals. Ratchet and Clank "Tools of Destruction" and "Crack in Time" both look fantastic, so the first couple of games given a visual reboot would be simply stunning!

I would like to see all Four rebooted (R&C; Locked and Loaded; Up Your Arsenel; Gladiator), but I'm not sure if Gladiator will get put into the collection. But we'll see if they even consider the collection anyway.

I also wonder if they'll do a Final Fantasy HD reboot, for 10, 10-2 and 12. Doubt it, but hey, you never know. Same thing with Kingdom Hearts. A compilation disc of all the Kingdom Hearts games. That'd be nice.

Toilet Humour

There is a question that is as old as time and I feel it has, and it never will, have a proper answer.

The Courtesy of the Toilet seat.

It's a weird thing and any responses as to why always come out with some vapid excuse as to why it is the way it is. Just today through 'discussion' the best excuse brought up was “We don't want to touch the dirty seats.”

Well that's just not fair. I wouldn't want to touch the toilet seat, not when your arse has been on it. I don't know what you've been sitting on, let alone what its been exhaling.

So what alternative do we have? Should we just leave it down? That is where they tried to turn it around. “Why don't you just pee with it down? It's like an inch less diameter, can't you aim? You've been doing it long enough!”

I didn't have a response that didn't involve getting graphic about what I do, so I left it at “I'd rather not take the risk, lest I get bludgeoned to death with blame from a paranoid suspicion that the white seat looked a little yellow somewhere.”

Besides, if we were to swish the basketball hoop rather than lift and leak, then why was the seat not designed into the actual porcelain anyway?

Better yet, why weren't we just taught to sit down and pee?

Eventually the 'discussion' ended and the subject stuck with me a little so I googled it. I found a better argument.

“If you get a cup out of the cupboard, do you leave the cupboard open?”

Fair enough, the argument not only causes to include the seat, but the lid as well. Fair enough, I can deal with that. It's not enough to really change my ways, but that's because none of the girls I know do the same thing.

I've heard other weird excuses, one of the biggest was “Oh we do it for your sake. If we go to pee in the middle of the night, we don't want to wake you so we tip toe in there, leave the light off, undress which takes forever, then when we go to sit down we fall in.”

That sort of response makes me worry about our generation. If you're silly enough not to look before you leap, then I'm not going to hold your hand as you try to revert to the natural order of Lemmings.

Clothing is not an issue unless you're wearing a terribly large dress, or a Wedding Gown. In which case, you're wearing it for the better part of a day, and not worrying about toilet courtesy because 1: You're segregated from all the Men; 2: You're at the reception which 9 times of 10 is at a restaurant; and 3: while it took four or five girls to help you get into the dress, it only takes a wink of your partner to get it off again.

And just to cover all bases, 4: It's not night time.

This is only a rather thin view on the world though, a family only consisting of spouses. There is still the rest of the household to consider. Small children certainly don't find it convenient, but with small children come pets.

Now not many households feel complete without a pet. Particularly a dog. Dogs are just as effective as a cardboard box with kids, but are longer lasting and more fun for the whole family. Half the hassle is having to give them food and water.

Not water is never a guarantee, in the life of a dog. You get a bowl that you can drink out of, but it empties quickly in a day, and so the rest of the territory is scoured for more sources. Because the 'average house' has an indoor dog, the toilet becomes an easy access source of fresh water.

Well, it's not quite fresh, pup, I can tell you that. I know what goes into that fountain, and it ain't fluoride.

That is the best reason I can find to putting the seat down. I wouldn't shit in my dogs mouth, so why would I let him drink out of the toilet? Better stop that quickly by putting the toilet seat, and lid, down. Unless the bugger is quick to learn, and most dogs I know are, it's a Rubicks cube with a quenching treat at the end.

So while I have found a valid reason, I'm not changing my ways until the situation comes, but what other interesting reasons do you have/have you heard?

Blood Bowl - Of Teamwork and Cheerleaders

So I've been playing Blood Bowl on the computer for almost a week now, and I think I'm figuring out Orcs. I think.

I've been fairly lucky too in most cases, though playing the campaign has limited my opponents to about 3 or 4 teams. Goblins are easy. The funny thing about them is that if anything actually hits them, they either get knocked out or suffer damage. Though I do have to watch out for the little bugger with the ball and chain. Bastard Hurts.

But they're fairly easy. Block them with two or more dudes and they'll be down or out, or better yet Dead, and then just get a Blitzer to bolt across the field. Tie up anyone who could catch up to him, and hope that they get knocked down leaving the tackle zone.

The team that it doesn't work on 9/10 times is fkn Wood Elves. They fkn dance about your players and they have enough speed to be able to do a passing game really well. Which is really annoying, but I think I figured out how to get around them. It's crude, but get a cage set up around the ball and just let a Blitzer fly up around the side. The elves will eventually regret it as the computer tends to prioritize the ball.

The last team is the Chaos Team. They like to play a cage game, which isn't too much of a hassle. I can slow down the cage with no worries. If I get the ball, then game on. Pass it across the field to a stray Blitzer and... well Blitz the finish line. The Chaos team are as quick as Orcs so they can't catch up with someone across the field easily.

Now I've mentioned Blitzers a few times in this, and thats because they're Freaking Awesome. To boot, one of my Blitzers has levelled up twice and he got a point of strength and I gave him Break Tackle, where he uses his strength instead of Agility when moving out of tackle zones. That's fkn nice.

On top of that, my Black Orc Blocker levelled up from smacking the crap out of everyone he was in front of, so I gave him Block. Cos that's what you do, give a guy who's role is to Block people the Block Skill. Just to add insult to injury.

So far that's what I've faced, though I have plenty of work ahead of me.

The one thing that really bugs me about the game is that the teams I began facing weren't on the same par as me. They had earnt their own special abilities each, but I guess that's how it works.

The worst part is that I'm playing it on easy. And it's not an easy game, though once you figure it out, the computer can be exploited. Eventually if the League with the Lads starts up, I'll have a hard fight ahead of me.

One thing I really like about the Video game is that the models for the Orcs look Awesome. I'd take those models if they looked like that. The ones that are in the GeeDubb gallery look a little lame. And the Cheerleader is just terrifying. She's one of those girls who wears a skirt, and only a skirt, to work, and only if you're lucky. Otherwise, she spends her time practising seaknots with herself.

*Shudder*

That's one thing the game has got right. If there's a monsterous team that have an unsettling cheerleader squad, then they give them something more appropriate. For Orcs, it's a bunch of male Orcs wearing robes and banging drums.

So that makes me think of a cool cheerleader squad of a Band playing various instruments, like one fellow screaming out while waving a noisemaker around. It's not a Cheerleader Squad, but damnit it's easy on the eyes.

That's one thing I forgot to mention. I changed my team a bit. Now there's 5 Lineorks, 1 Thrower, 1 Black Orc and 4 Blitzers. Then after a few games, I had money to buy another Lineork just to cover an injury or a send off.

So that's Blood Bowl for me. Now to actually get the figures and paint em up. After that, might do a Nordic Team. And after that, with two Trolls in hand, I'll make a Goblin Team.

For Trolls, I don't want to use the standard GW ones. I want to use Warmachine Trolls. Troll Bomber for one, just drop the kegs. Or maybe one of the elemental trolls?

Hmm... Nordic Team made up of Doomreavers and Nihilators. That'll be fun.

Something I think I may be doing wrong with my Team is that I'm raising my value too high? Other teams are getting more inducements, whereas I'm getting nothing. I wouldn't mind bribing the ref more often. I'm already at max cheerleaders, my fan factor was 9 from the start (though it's dropped down to 8 after losing a few games) and I have my own apothecary. I'm just gonna start hoarding my money now and only buy a new player on occasion.

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Hello. I think I found myself some Miniatures.

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And on top of that, after playing the Video game for 2 hours, I got my Black Orc to make three touchdowns. Good stuff.