"And in Second Place, because I like calling him by what's on the card..."

"... The Medway!"
"What??"



I rewind to day 2.
After a wonderful night of laughs at the Pancake house and a stomach full of pork, cider and dairy, I retired.
The morning arose at 9:30. I figured I was late already, so I dressed and zipped across to the Convention Centre.
I arrived to find that my opponent was absent. He had forgotten his cards and was running back to get them from his room.
As I relaxed and awaited for my opponent to return, a random person in a long jacket began running up to me and poked her head into the corner of my eye.
Sam! A rare sight to see. I promised her a birthday present: A Print of Eiryss. To which I forgot to bring it that day, but I asked Richard to bring it tomorrow since she will there for the Steamroller 500.
Soon my opponent returned and we gamed.
The day was long and punctuated with pervs on an absolutely GORGEOUS brunette girl in a Team Fortress 2 costume (with Papier-mâché Chaingun), and over 5 matches, I stepped out with 1 win against Disco.

The situation had was Bartolo standing rather openly for my Drakhun to charge and annihilate Bartolo. To which I did after casting Battle Lust on the Drakhun.
I rolled a 4 for Flying Steel (2 Attacks) and wiped out his health in one attack. He made his tough roll and came up with a 4.
"KILL!" I roared in excitement.
"Uh, dude? Doc is within range. He has 4+ tough rolls."
"What."
13 minutes, 40-something seconds. I would have walked away with the Mage Hunter medal. Ed and one of the other organisers (I've completely forgotten his name, but I know I annihilated his Behemoth) were surrounding my desk and watching the game.
"SECOND ATTACK!"
I rolled against him. I hit. I dealt the 1 point of damage I needed to kill him.
He made his Tough Roll.
6.
"DAMNIT! FUCKIN PIRATES!"
Slipped through the slits of my fingers, the mage hunter medal was taken from my grasp. We played on and I ended up shooting him in the face next turn and forcing him to fail his tough roll, but it was a good game otherwise.
Fuckin Pirates.

Night came around and I went to the apartment a little early. I needed a snooze. A long day of mental exhaustion really kicks the crap out of you.
Eventually I got back out and went to the Convenience Store and got myself some lemonade. I planned to drink. And I planned to drink well.
I got to the store and my phone rang
"Medway! Where are you?"
"Just left the apartment."
"Okay, sherrie and them are going back to the apartment now."
"Cool. I'll be back in a few minutes."
I arrived back with everyone looking at me in shock, Sherrie with a suspiciously big grin on her face.
"What."
"Oh nothing."
"Good. I'm drinking."
The night was spent joking around, Chris and Andy playing Yugioh and testing their decks and the rest of us watching Kung Fu Hustle.
Afterwards, we watched a tv show of a series of short films. Between each short film was an episode of "Errorism: A comedy of terrors". Simple cartoons of a sillouette man, with only his eyes and mouth visible, wearing a bandolier, and planning to take over the world with bombs or acid. But they always go wrong and he dies.
One of the notable short films was "Even Pigeons go to Heaven". It was amazing, as chris would put it.
And then we went to bed.

Last day.
I awoke early as we had to vacate early and apologised to Ed for arriving as such.
The day started off pretty well. Nothing overly distracting, except for a blonde girl in a Red outfit (think flight attendant in red and really short shorts).
First game was against Circle Orboros, Kruegar, on the Moshpit Scenario. He was annihilating my army and I ended up with my warcaster, Irusk, walking out of combat with a Wolfrider, standing in a Gobber Cloud (-2 to his attack) shooting at Kruegar twice. And he was shot twice in the face. dead. First win of the day.
Second game was against Deneghra, on territories (Vertical Running Territories and claim points for holding a territory with no enemies in it, first person to 5 points. I knew it was over when he cast Crippling Grasp on the Greatbears. They were running through a forest, so with practically no movement they didn't help.
Eventually he got through and killed Irusk with Bane Knights.
Third game was against Haley, a specially built list from a friend of his (Who is quite a good player). I won out of scenario, but it was a little disheartening playing him. He knew he sucked, and he would repeat it over and over again.
"I know I suck."
I ignored it throughout the game, and was a little glad that the game ended.
Fourth game was against Aaron, my old friend. Throughout the day, he repeated a line that I threw out on Friday because he said it was insightful and even inspiring.

"I've lost nothing but a game of Warmachine."

I still don't understand the hype, but it has made him happy.
The game went very well for myself. He made his way to one side to accept a charge, but didn't expect me to absolutely annihilate four of his five Trollblood Champions with Greatbears and a Demo Corps member.
His retaliation came slowly and unsuccessfully. All my Great Bears? Passed their Tough rolls and remained standing on 1 health.
To which they turned around and made Grim Angus Stew.
Aaron ended up having killed 1 Demo Corp model. Everyone else? Survived on Tough Rolls.

With the three games won out of four, I wasn't expecting to be very high on the rankings. But much to my surprise, and to quote...

"And in Second Place, because I like calling him by what's on the card... The Medway!"
"What??"

"Where's my Short Stack with Bacon?!"

"Who knew that STD's were collectable?"

Day One.
The morning started with feeling exhausted for no reason. Plenty of tossing and turning kept punctuating of sleep.
Eventually, after laying in bed for about an hour, I gave up and exited my room. A quick shower and a change of clothes and I was prepared for the day ahead.
My phone rings, Scoot is demanding my attention. "Where are you, Medway?"
"I'm across the road."
"Well you better get over here because we're just about ready."
The clocks declare 9am and I'm out faster than you can say "Happy Birthday Sherrie."
After losing track of my position, I quickly get to the centre by quarter past and collect my tags.
What a beginning.
I saw a couple of the guys on the way in and continued my way to the gaming area only to be thanked by Ed for being late.
So it was a simple series of games. Random scenario, and you can choose between two different Army Compositions. I only had one, one list mostly made for the entirety of the weekend.
First through Fourth Rounds. No wins. Two loss by scenarion, Two by Warcaster [Commander, if you will] Kill. A fifth round was played, but my opponent disappeared by that round giving me a "Buy", an automatic win.
It was fair enough, he was in crutches and most of us were getting a little tired and cranky by the end of the day.
Halfway through the day, Kel came up to me with a Proposition.
"What do you think of that, mate?" he asked, handing me a privateer press coin.
"That's pretty cool," i replied. It is a pretty cool coin. Hefty too.
"So what do you think of becoming a Press Ganger?"
It surprised me.
For those at home wondering "What is a Press Ganger? Is it News Reporters who put horses in peoples beds because they stayed up late watching the Godfather?"
Not quite, but that's a silly idea that it might work.
No, it's a representative for Privateer Press who runs Tournaments and Demos for games that PP have made.
I like these games. So I said "Sure".
Kel and Rob are apparently the few Press Gangers in Brisbane. Kel has a NIT [Nerd In Training] and Rob is disappearing for a while for some reason that remains a mystery to me insofar, they thought I'd be all for it.
And I am. I got myself a couple of Battle Boxes and will have to paint them. Cygnar, Menoth and TrollBloods, and I have Skorne figures at home that I can paint. So I'm pretty much all set.
Otherwise, a couple of Starter boxes for Monsterpocalypse and that is that sorted out.
After the 12 hours of gaming, spending and waiting, it was time to celebrate Sherries birthday. Everyone was a little cranky, but the 8 of us from fastbreak walked over to the Pancake House across the river. The wait was a bit arduous but I desperately needed to pee.
I was led to the Bar, something I didn't expect at a pancake manor, and relieved myself before attaining a Strongbow while awaiting a table.
The night carried on with giggles and jokes galore before we taxi'd back to the apartment where I now lay, thinking of getting a cup of water.

Attendance: Success

Saturday the 12 September: "STILL KICKIN!" monpoc tournament event. Due to the absence of our usual organiser, I volounteered to run it in his Stead.
It went off with only a few hitches.
For one, there were only 5 people that attended. Rethy and Severeddog didn't appear which was sad. I like Rethy. We flirt in our games. Meatshield was missing his attendance due to work, which was fair enough.
But that was alright.
The next hitch relates to the prize kit. We didn't know where the heck it was. Couldn't find it at all. Ended up having to call the shop owner to find it. At the same time, I bought 2 unit boosters of monpoc to spread out as prize kits!
We ended up with a Harbinger Comet Shard, a Sun Industries Building, 2 Tanglix (Grunt and Elite), 2 Anti-Air tanks (Grunt and Elite), and some other stuff that I have long since forgotten.
Meatshield should feel so jealous. He loves his anti-air tanks as much as I love Mogroth.

Speaking of Mogroth, I played Mogroth for a game that day. Because I stepped out (I don't know why), I was playing the people with the Buy. First game was against Josem and I was playing Mogroth/Ultra, just for the sake of it, against her Zor-Magna/Mega on Crossroad Crunch.
With a fairly good set of positioning of Towers of Corruption, I kept myself clear of blast and brawl/power attacks until she finally approached and power attacked me from behind.
Lost my form in one go, but made a pretty good comeback and ended up winning...
I'm still trying to peel the dirty away from my skin. It's just not natural that he won!

Anyway, the second game was with Mega Ancient Osheroth against Tyrranix. It was a practice run for Doc and his Tyrranix. It was the first game he had, fresh out of the wrapping too.
Doc has first turn. When it came to his monster turn, he tried to take advantage of some... precarious positioning of my behalf.
What would have been 3/4 damage on the first round ended up being 3 damage to him, thanks to a disappointing miss. You'd think an Egg Beating would make me suffer, especially an Egg that can Penetrate you.
Wait... What?

I ended up with a victory, thanks to a Meatslave and a Cthulubite standing next to Ultra Tyrranix, who swatted them straight at Ancient Osheroth while being shot by Osheroth and his "Feeding Frenzy" ability on his blast. That's Super, thanks for asking. The same thing was said about Tyrannix's swats with the Crunch ability.

All in all, they were both good games. I learnt that Mogroth can win sometimes, and Tyrannix is still just plain cool. Especially when doing an air banjo duet with your opponent.
Dukes of Hazzard driving Trucks, crossed with a giant Triceratops? Heck yeah. And they can all be surrounded by Mystery Machines too!

Here's a question: How does an Egg summon a Mystery Machine? And just as curious: How does a Brontox summon a Mystery Machine?
It's a Riddle, wrapped in an Enigma, floating in a Mystery Machine.

So with that, the day came out pretty well.
But it put me in the mood for more competitions.
The store owner wants more people to play monpoc, and wants more people to buy stuff so that he can lose some of the stock he has piled up.
But what to do? We have tournaments with prize kits occur every couple of months, but nothing more than that.
So what's the answer?
More Unofficial Tournaments, less prize kits and pre-registration. There will still be a $5 fee to put towards a small prize pool. So all I really have to do is organise with old mate a regular schedule to play. Every second sunday? Sure. Should be easy enough to organise.

I'm not sure what to call it.
But maybe add in a few faction specific bonuses for the next event, or maybe even just general bonuses.
Like: If you destroy/crush one or more units in a turn, you gain a power-die at the end of your turn.
Or: If you destroy an opponent's form from full health in one attack, they lose power die equal to the amount of buildings/hazards they collided with.

I like it.

It's Sackboy me with his Best Friend!

Rainbow + Ming the Merciless = Gay Ming?

To get the whole joke: dueling analogs

So last week I bought a PS3. Anyone attached to my Facebook account would know that I'm quite giddy at my purchase.
It makes me happy that I can play a game by myself without having to worry about stupid bullshit such as hardware requirements or needing a particular operating system (Damn you Stormrise and your ridiculously stupid necessity for Windows Vista or Better).

Having the console for less than a week, I have purchased myself a total of 6 games.

Resistance: Fall of Man
Resistance 2
inFamous
Killzone 2
Sega Mega Drive Ultimate Collection (It's really not that ultimate)
Little Big Planet

Ah the joys of income.
Anyway, I have already completed Resistance 2 (one of the very first purchases) and enjoyed it quite alot. Sci-fi alien invasion set in 1951? Yes please.
Although the storyline was completed in 2 nights (About 10 hours gameplay), I felt a little unfulfilled but satisfied that it was still an entertaining game.

Then I moved on to the Sega Mega Drive Ultimate Collection (Try saying that five times fast and hope that it'll lose meaning. It really is a stupid name for a compilation). Naturally I dove straight into Sonic 3, a personal favourite of mine from when I was but a boy.
Because I was out in the lounge room, seeing the 320 × 224 resolution in HIGH DEFINITION was absolutely astounding. At least, it was easy on the eyes.

And that concluded my Thursday and Friday Nights.
Saturday did not consist of me playing Playstation 3 all day. In fact, I spent most of the day sleeping until 11:30.
At which point, I went and saw Dee at her salon for lunch. She has been down recently because her other half is being a dicknose, and through friday night I was keeping in touch with her and listening to her rant about him and his asshattery.
By the end of lunch, we established that for me to get a girl I must create a highly secured cage (that has about 3 layers name "Riddle", "Mystery" and "Enigma") to sit in my Nerd Hole (Acredit: Erinintheskywithdiamonds) and trap her in to show her my figurines and play video games with.
If people see it and ask, I just say that it doesn't exist and that the government has hacked into their brains because they haven't been wearing their aluminium foil wigs like I have.
Dee knows it all because she eats aluminium, so not only is she safe from the government, but she has to stay away from metal detectors.

Returning home, I decided to try out the internet connection features on my PS3 and find out what PSOne classics are available to download. I had checked it out at work last friday to see what was available, but I wasn't sure what region the Australia Playstation Store would base their releases on. Turns out it's Europe, the one with the least available.
So having connected to the net, I got a little excited. While our internet was capped at the time, and downloading is about as ponderous as a snail making its way through a salt maze, it still allows me to view the store itself.

System update version 3.0 is available. Download?
Yes - No

Well this is a little bit of a surprise.
Okay, I'll download it. Shouldn't take too long. I look at the time, and it says 2pm.
After awaiting a half hour and finding it only 3% through, I gave up on waiting and went for a nap.

Five thirty rolled around and I prepared myself for Dungeons and Dragons. While attendance is usually of a friday night, Aaron had a birthday party with family and thusly, the Dungeons and Dragons was moved to Saturday night where he continued to sport a blue ribbon saying "Birthday Boy".

Aaron has been our Dungeon Master for the better part of 5 years, pretty much since we began playing D&D. He's a crazy DM, and a little wasted on the talents of myself and Richard who have become so numb to role playing that we're really just in it for the Dice Rolls.
This year, he made a pledge to us that he will DM every fortnight for his campaign and someone else can DM the other nights. Scooty has taken up the opportunity (since my Wonderboy campaign is far from complete) and has gotten everything organised.
There's just one snag.
Chase.
Scooty is still in regular contact with Chase, and has offered him a seat in his D&D.
After being informed about this I had a debate with myself.
I don't want to associate with Chase again. Can I be civil about it? Can I really put up with him again?
Turns out I can't. So I have forgone D&D for Scoots campaign.
I even had an interesting character lined up. A Dragonborn Warlord or Thaneborn Barbarian (hadn't picked at the time) who bases alot of his characteristics from Samuel Vimes. A difficult task, but possible.
C'est la vie.

As I returned home, the update on the PS3 had finished downloading the update. I turned off the device and delved into slumber.

Sunday rolls around and plans with mother dearest had been made with our rituals, breakfast, movie and afternoon relaxation.
The movie of choice was UP. Very entertaining and well recommended. It's a pixar film in every essence that has shone through in the past. It is a family movie which everyone will enjoy.

A few purchases were made afterwards. Mother was looking for a particular pair of shoes at Harris Scarfe, I attained some more Terry Pratchett novels from Borders, the rest of my current collection of PS3 games, a browse through Target (and a keen ear to hear if Shawday was being called on the overhead) discovered how vomit inducingly lame some of the young girls shirts can be: "Inside every little girl is a princess".
Ugh. Illness was feeling abundant.

Stealing away from target, we made our way to the small restaurant outside Harris Scarfe to enjoy lunch.
About 45 minutes later, our lunch was brought out. A Toasted Bacon sandwich with dried out Bacon (and possibly salted as well) and a toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwich which apparently wasn't very nice at all.

On the way home, we retrieved my PS3. I wanted to make some downloads and because mothers computer is on the blink (it's just killed itself somehow) she is paying for internet that she can't use. Because the PS3 has wireless access, she offered me to use it to download some things and I could show her some of the features of the PS3.
After downloading Final Fantasy VII (A game I am yet to complete) and Future Cop LAPD (A game I haven't played in YEARS), and being disappointed in not seeing some particular favourites (like Vagrant Story) I placed in LittleBigPlanet.

I've heard nothing but good things about LittleBigPlanet. And loading up the game is a game in itself. Literally. It begins as a quick tutorial displaying the Sackman and the Narrator, the hilarious Mr Stephen Fry, explaining things overhead. A wonderful voice to instruct, I attest. He would be the only person to make a Terry Pratchett Novel Funnier, in my opinion.
Thusly, LittleBigPlanet is one of the most adorable games that I have had the pleasure of being entertained by.

That night when I eventually got home after Dinner at my sisters house, I spent the rest of the night playing Solitaire and talking on the net, arguing with Sherrie in the playful way that we usually do, and then delving back into slumber.

Monday night, I played More Resistance: Fall of man (the first game... I began it within the allotted time of the weekend, I'm sure) and eventually put it down to play inFamous.
Think Gran Theft Auto with the Super Power of Electricity, crossed with "Escape from LA". They have all been segregated from the mainland not because they're criminals, but because there is a plague that has stricken the city (which is already a trio of Islands, conveniently) and it is considered an entire quarantine.
The cut-scenes are very cool, taking on a comic-book style apparently "to extend the superhero motif". It worked, I reckon.
I would be a happy man if I could play this on my Monitor, or on the TV in the loungeroom. The HD would make it look super-mega-awesome.
Another aspect of the game is "Karma". If you do something bad, you gain Bad Karma. If you do something good, you gain Good Karma. I learnt a few unexpected lessons about Bad Karma.

1. Head Shocks (Headshots, even) are bad Karma. As per usual with a game that has 'shooting' as a basic attack, you can shoot someone in the head and it will instantly kill them. Headshock is a play on words, since the main character uses electricity.
2. Shooting a car that bad guys are hiding behind, and taking them down by blowing up said car, is bad Karma. Fair enough.
   It's not your property. It's not like anyone is using it, though?
   You might hit a nearby civilian! What were they doing in the middle of a Firefight?
   I just killed two wannabe gangters who would have killed hundreds of lives themselves! It still isn't your property!
3. Standing in the same water as a Civilian is bad Karma. Electricity flows through water, right? The developers remembered this. So every time you step into a pool of water, the water starts making electrical arcs dance across the surface. Harmless to you, of course.
   However, if a Civilian who might be passing by and happens to put a foot in it, they will instantly be fried and you gain bad Karma for killing an innocent Civilian.
   Shame on you.

As 1am rolled around, I decided to finish up so that I may work.

Today, after 3 red bulls in under an hour, my fingers are shaking a little bit. But I'm awake!

Would I get royalties now?

Man, i had one of the stupidest dreams. I was taken in by a family and they had bucketloads of firewood outside, but none inside. The family was blind grandparents, a poorly grandmother, and their kids who were married, all sitting in the darkness where the only light shining through is from the moonlight. It had been snowing and because they were all very poorly, they were afraid of leaving the house in case they got lost in the snow. Eventually, I got sick of the cold and said i would brave the iced rain for some wood.
While i was getting the wood, it came to me: indoor plumbing. So i went to ancient Egypt to patent it. I dunno his name but i call him Sillysophicles.
So i get his attention and try to put my idea across but these two pricks keep interrupting me! One of them was a mates partner.
Then i woke up.

I'm suppose I should be happy it's not a dream about my teeth falling out.