The Secret to Love

That's right, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have found the secret to Love.
Some believe that it's Good looks.
Some think that it's Confidence.
BUT it is actually labeled by a word that sounds like a Parrot having an Aneurism.

Awkward

It is so Simple.
It is absolutely Profound.
It is the secret to True Happiness™!

What?
This is what I am being told lately. One girl says that if her and her boyfriend were to break up, she would date me because I'm more awkward than him. Another girl says that it's what she loves about her boyfriend, a loud, boistrous man who could clinically be ADHD. I look at my roommates and realise "Yes, The Dick is almost extremely awkward..."

This I discover during train conversation with Girl 2 who stands up near the door opposite me around-about Nundah Station area. Evidently, we came across a topic that I am loathe to discuss.

"So, Medway. Got a girlfriend yet?"
"No, I have not attained such a goal yet."
"I just don't understand why!"
"Because I'm not awkward enough, apparently."
"That is true, you are very comfortable with yourself."

This is awkward in itself.

Awkward?
Awkward is entering a conversation and breaking it into a flat jelly by making your contribution.
Awkward is shuffling your feet and not making eye contact with the person you're talking to, and keeping your eyes away from things that you shouldn't be looking at. Like Boobs.
Awkward is wearing suspenders with pants that go up past your naval, and Leather Slippers and walking up to the most beautiful girl you've ever known and offering her flowers so you can "see a movie sometime".
Awkward is like this. (Don't forget to read the mouse-over message)

Which brings me back to Girl 1: I'm more Awkward than her boyfriend?
"Yes, you are, because you're a nerd and you tell people that. It's very awkward."

But the secret is revealed!
Ladies, find your dorky little awkward boy who holds those flowers with nervous and sweaty palms.
Boys, learn to shuffle your feet and twist into the ground when you talk to girls.

Me? I'll just keep cruisin, since saying the word a few billionty times has made me lose meaning of the word.