Sometimes... just sometimes...

Many many moons ago, at the start of a Dungeons and Dragons session, I began a silly joke. The specific details are lost to the holding sieve of memory, but one thing was certain.

I was outraged over Mentos.

Mentos: the Freshmaker, A chewable mint lolly that always improves a situation. At least, that's what the Advertisements tell us. However, that isn't always the case.

For Dungeons and Dragons, as a nice little treat, Scotty would always bring a few bags of lollies. He works a Bargain City and with his staff discount he gets them for a dollar per bag, usually picking up a bag of Musk Sticks, some Choc Cherry Bites (think fat bite-size Cherry Ripes), maybe a bag of jelly snakes, and a bag of Mentos.

The Choc Cherry bites were quite popular, usually being the first packet devoured under the sweet tooth of Richard and Aarons Voracious appetite. In turn, Scotty bought a box of Cherry bites, for our D&D sessions to slowly whittle away over the coming weeks. His boss caught wind of this and went to the newsagents to pick up a skin magazine and wrap each bag with a page or two of nude ladies, or raunchy articles.

Where do you like a guys load?
I love it all over my tits and lower back, it just makes me so hot
- Home Girl winner #15

That was a fun little thing to turn up to D&D for. It countered the playful outrage that I had for Mentos, the condom lolly (They're individually wrapped and always a bastard to open - HAHA! I'm hilarious).

Over the coming year, he would continue to bring out a bag of Mentos to stir me up. I'd play along, scowling at the blue packaging and threatening it's life, reflexively tossing it into the corner of a room in a fit of rage when it was dropped in front of me, breathing heavily to 'calm myself'.

More and more bags each week, whether it was one bag or two. Eventually Scotty came into Fastbreak with some bags and I played along with it, naturally. He started to bring two bags for shock factor at the beginning and just because it got shared about willy nilly.

Just to note, he wasn't really losing out on money for this. The bags cost about 50c a pop to him, so he wasn't losing out very much on this.

But here's a kicker.

One day, he realised that the Mentos were losing their flavour, so to speak. I was getting a little tired of the joke, having Mentos thrown at me or into my way during a game. It was beginning to grind on my nerves.

So he took it up a notch. One night, he put down a packet of Mint Mentos. A little while later, another packet of Mint Mentos. While we were playing a happy game of Monsterpocalypse, a packet of Fruit Mentos. As we finished the game, another packet of Fruit Mentos came crashing down. Nearing the end of the game of Gin next to us, another Mint packet slid across the stage on it's knees.

A few weeks later, he gave me a warning. He warned of a shock factor that he was going to induce onto me and some of the others at Fastbreak.

Boy did he bring in some shock and awe. He strode in, proud and grinning as he does when he's doing something silly, and carrying a Bargain city bag filled with a large cardboard box.

A case of Mentos, filled to the brim with a total of about Forty bags of Mint Mentos. He was happy, grinning like a fool at the almost the entire store laughing at Scottys outrageous manoeuvre (How the fuck do you spell that?).

The next week he became a little creative. A little ritual I have for Fastbreak Tuesdays is to go to the fish and chip shop for dinner. Two or three dim sims and a large chips. It takes about 10 minutes to cook up and they're usually pretty good. Occasionally they're a little dodgy, warmed and soaked with oil but not crispy, but 9 times of 10 they're just crunchy enough for my liking.

During this time, Scotty pulled out his secret weapon. I walked into the shop, down to the tables in the back and stopped dead. Scotty, beaming with pride, sat slightly uncomfortably with a necklace made of full Mentos Packets.

But that's not all!

The weeks passed and the grinding was starting again, agitating me and I began to ignore the onslaught of Individually wrapped Mentos. So Scotty resolved again that next week I would have to prepare, prepare to be outraged to a whole new level.

And boy did he bring it to a whole new level.


There are more to come, ladies and gentlemen.