Natural High July

It has recently been brought to my attention that there is this charity challenge going round called "Dry July", a month where people would stop drinking entirely to raise awareness for alcoholism and cancer (That's my understanding, I had a quick browse through).

Then Jennicki and Girl Clumsy both decided to match up with their own challenge called "Thigh July", and they're to take up the challenge of No Chocolate. Yes, a very difficult task for ladies such as these (Don't kill me).

But tonight as I sat in my bed and looked at my Southern Comfort and Coke, which I mixed a little too strongly and now I'm off put from the drink for now, I froze to death at 14*C and it came to me in a moment of thought. with no provocation to the thought.

Caffeine. I have waaay too much Caffeine. It's been giving me a bit of strife with the occasional heartburn I have of a morning and going to Harrys Diner and grabbing a Can of V from the little fridge is a daily ritual of mine. It's taboo to have caffeine on weekends, something I settled myself into looong ago. The only reason I drink it is due to being out in the Valley and having Jager bombs, or going to a 24 hour LAN party.

Sidenote: I want to say BAD JUJU and shake a stick with a skull and feathers on it, like a real witch doctor!

So all through July, I won't have caffeinated drinks. No Coke. No V. No Mother. No Rockstars. No Samedi. Nada. I'll have water because I need to rehydrate. I'll also start sleeping better. Go to bed at a reasonable time. Work will appreciate that, I'm sure.

But now I must sleep. Onwards to tomorrow... AND BEYOND!


No more morning V's from Harrys...


... No more sculling down half litres...


... and no mixing it up on the odd occasion.

Dustbunnies Beware!

For years they have tumbled across our carpets, pretending they exist in a good Cowboy Showdown film. They hide underneath your couch, confer within your cupboard, and flee to the corners of your living room. They were chased, searched for and interrogated by every house cleaner known to man.

But now... they're being Hunted.Wait, that doesn't look right. Is that... a Hoover? Or a Godfreys? I think we'll try this again.

But now... They're being Hunted.Much better. These are the Oppressors, cleaning carpets everywhere with the greatest efficiency and with their own two hands. But this is no Share House Apartment in the middle of Brisbane Suburbia. This is War. And everything is as dirty as a Lords of Cthul Joke.

What we know for certain so far is that they have 2 abilities.

Burrow: (Skill): This figure can move through figures and treats all terrain as open terrain. It is immune to hazards while advancing.
Abduct (Action): If this figure and another FAC figure with Abduct are adjacent to the same enemy unit, crush that unit. Do not gain a P-Die for crushing it.

If you don't know what Burrow is, then you've been playing the wrong faction. It's on par with Jump, in that it can stand on water but can't attack Flying Figures. Well fair enough, but Abduct doesn't restrict on whether a figure is flying or not. It needs two Oppressors adjacent to a unit and “POP” goes the Carnidon.

The images in my head of this change between figures and factions. The first appearance was from the Martian Menace, running from the classic “Flying Saucer Abducting Cattle” method where a bright shining light suddenly levitates the poor bovine into the confines of the saucer.

The other faction I can think of that has this ability is within Terrasaurs, specifically Pteradax. One of his Hyper forms has Blue Abduct. Now, it's not so much Abduct as tearing someone part as part of a feeding frenzy. Carnidons can do something! Now if they could only get adjacent to an enemy unit...

But now we have the Oppressors, fat people with hardware designer masks and suction fists. The image in my head isn't pretty. Its like a “Hoovers & Godfreys Tug-o-War Match!” using real people-slash--slash-machines-slash-animals-slash-alien vehicles-slash-spam-slash-alien beings-slash-tentacle demons-slash-fish-slash-spam-slash-etcetera. Winner has the largest intact piece.

I'm shuddering right now. Imagine hosing out the compartment...


Now that I've finished shuddering for the last couple of days and gotten my hands on the actual figure, I can now tell you about his last ability and his stats. Yes, the fella has a final ability which is actually really useful.

Tow: Choose 1 unit within 5 spaces of this figure and place that unit in a space it could legally occupy adjacent to this figure.

Ah, Tow. This is an awesome ability. Place a unit right next to you for a combined attack? This goes well for his 2*1 Brawl. And with such a long range, the figure can be on the opposite side of the board and so long as he gets close he can get suckered into doing something! (hehe, I made a Pun).

Using this, you can boost their Brawl Attacks even more! They start with a Brawl of 3*1 and if you get the trio, including 1 Elite, you get 9*6 to your attack. Tow in a Mollok Berserker to add in Berserk and you have a 9*9 attack. Most likely there will only be 3 Action Die in the attack, but that's Maths for you. I prefer my other option involving the boosting the towing and boosting of a HazMat Truck.

So there you have it. They Sucker punch whoever is in their way andnothing is going to stop them.

Next Week: Spray and Pray

Year of the Cancerous Puddy Tat

It began with waking up at 8 or 9 in the morning so I could chat with my Jenny. We talked about lots of things, like how she was surprised at how Australia's new Prime Minister (AKA: The Ranga Overlord) didn't make any news over in the US, Whereas Obama gets 2 page spreads in our local rag most days; how different Australia's houses are as I took her on a tour with my new laptop; and having our usual loving conversation while I woke and geared up for my day.

Humphs friends and I received a gift last Thursday. He had just finished a tour through Europe with his wife, taking lots of photos of anything and everything for people back home. I sat through some of it, particularly the tour through the Vatican where I was as blasphemous as possible (Me: “Look at em! They all have small willies! Oh Look, she's got like 50 tits!” Humph: “That's the deity of Fertility. And they're not boobs, they're bull testicles” Me: “Jeez, if you ever call your wife a ball breaker, just remember her!”).

The gift of blasphemy at some remarkably beautiful and amazing artwork wasn't quite intended. No, his actual gift was a nice little bottle of rum from Austria. Now we were all interested as this was something new to whet the whistle on and being a drink that was only made available outside of Austria within the past year or two, we were very interested and we had a good laugh at the content: 160 Proof. Yes, 80% alcohol. Kel mentioned that it was stronger than the disinfectant that the used at work. I was slightly afraid the hairs on my chest would go grey and fall off after I sniffed the bottle.

The Taste of Austria
I shared some on Friday night with Dee and Mel as a birthday drink because Dee was going away for the weekend and she's as good a guinea pig as anyone else. We mixed it with Coke as we would a regular rum, and it was absolutely delicious. We slowly drank it (Well I sculled it, I was on my way out the door to D&D) and enjoyed every part of it. I polished off the bottle the next morning as I chatted with Jenny, and it was still delicious.

So I geared up for my day. I got on my jeans, my Sonic and Knuckles shirt, and my Sonic and Tails Hoodie and headed to the Mana bar. It was closing in on 2pm, I had a shave and a shower, and I was actually rather tired and had a short nap that I really didn't want to climb out of, but I stirred myself out of that and trundled down to the train station.

Playing Raskulls with Scotty and Jarryd
Throughout the day people trickled through the Manabar that day, playing a game or two with me and before having to head for various reasons. It was great, though. Some of my friends I haven't seen in ages, like Erin and Jarryd, Ryan, and Sam from the Gold Coast, and some that I see regularly, like Scotty, Greg, Danika, Jarryd and Jo, Doc (Not Yobbo), and Greg.

(Me, Sam, Random)
Many different games were had, probably the most successful was Super Smash Bros Brawl (Guess who I played?) and possibly Halo. Halo was very fun because we were all green except for player 1, who was “The Pink Terror”. Yes, a Bright Pink Spartan versus three Camo Green Spartans. The funniest part was grabbing the Spartan Laser and getting it off more times than should normally occur in a killing spree. I still lost but it was good fun, even though Jo did kill me (Seriously, she got two kills in the entire match and they were probably both me). I had fun with Ryan playing Arcade Altered Beast. I think that's the only time I've ever finished that game. Ever. Last I remember, I had trouble getting through the second stage playing it on my Mega Drive. Oh and you should've seen me on Guitar Hero. I was going Spastic on the drums!


Told you I was going Spastic!
(Jo, Me, Danika, Ryan/Autrach)
Thanks everyone for coming, and I can't wait for next year. I probably won't do Mana Bar for my Bday again (don't want to be a Repetitive Ronald) but I hope just as many people turn up next year, and thanks to everyone who offered me well wishes Via Facebook and text. I do apologised if I haven't gotten around to you.


The Sunday morning, I began my morning at about 11ish (As one does on a Sunday) and immediately began texting Jenny and loaded up Skype to chat with her. She was excited for my birthday and had already sent me a physical present of whoever knows what, and on Sunday made several different attempts at sending me a very adorable Mix Tape. Well, MP3 Mix. 25 songs with their own reasons and thoughts attached. I'll probably load it up tonight to listen again.

For the rest of Sunday after talking with Jenny, I spent it watching 30 Rock and lazing in bed. Oh, and washing my clothes. I thought that was a good idea.

My milkshakes bring all the Spawn to the yard

Welcome to Part 2 of the Mecha/Cthugrosh debate, where we delve into the discussion of "Is Newer Better?" and our particular victims of argument are the Lords of Cthul and Ubercorp International, and their Fluorescent Monsterpieces.Now if there is one thing I've learnt, it's that only a 10,000 year old Demon lord slumming in the depths of the ocean, or a Pimp, can get away with wearing a Pink Suit and get away with it. And when you're both, you make that suit full-body-spandex and leave a bit for eyes.

The downside to being a 10,000 year old Demon is that the saying "Old Dogs can't learn new tricks" is actually rather apt. Sadly, the old Gerry can get a bit Senile as well and he forgets things along the way. Sacrifice, Telekinesis, Power Gorge (Brawl) and Fling (Blast) all remain the same, but Summon is completely missing.

Where did Summon go? What did get get in place of Summon? How will I get get a Meat Slave placed in front of me to prevent Power Attacks?

Well I don't know. He just stopped procreating for no reason. Oh, that's what the problem is: Menopause.

Now that I've gotten myself into trouble, we'll see what else has changed and what he has gained. Which applies to his last two abilities.

Jump: You really want me to type this out?
Terrify: Enemy units cannot advance adjacent to this figure. (Not an exact quote)

So Jump is a step down from Flight. Figures with flight can't be targeted by Brawl attacks unless they have Flight, Jump or Reach. As a penalty, figures with 'Anti-Air' have a bonus to hit against them. Jump however is exactly the same as flight but can be targeted with any kind of Brawl Attack but nobody has a bonus to hit. So Cthugrosh can still run about willy nilly ignoring figures so he can pimp slap from wherever he wants. The downside? A Carnidon can try and hit him.

But wait, what was that? He has Terrify? Meaning units, such as the Carnidon, can't advance to Brawl him? HA! No peon can go up to Cthugrosh and ask the going rate. He only deals with big clients who know no price.

And a good client is one that can understand, see from a business mans point of view, though has a different point of view because not everyone is the same.

Mechathugrosh understands Cthugrosh on his own level. But the question remaining is whether a new Generation of Neon Orange Coats can beat the Old Dogs in their Pink Suits.

The Men in White Coats, the UCI Scientists of Biological Emulation, thought to keep with their trends and rolled a few abilities over to Ultra Mechathugrosh. Tow, Transport and Motivator all remain as things that can not really be changed. He can always roll out a Mecha Task master whenever he wants, and give them a chance to reach something faster. if not, he pulls them towards him and lets whatever minions are already there deal with it.

The best part of using Tow?

Halt: Enemy units that begin their advancement adjacent to this figure can advance only 1 space.

So any figure that gets Towed adjacent to Mechathugrosh gets thrown into a Weakened Tractor. Ever heard the saying "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?"

Which leaves the poor Carnidon more impotent than he originally was. That's all nice and dandy. But how about some Smackdown? We'll start on the approach.

Now in the last post with Mechathugrosh, I mentioned that he can Pimp Slap a unit 7 spaces across the field. Particularly, I mentioned that he has to align with a unit to Power Attack Swat. This was Incorrect. You don't need to align with it, it just needs to be adjacent. For that I apologise. Now Ultra Mechathugrosh makes up for it by changing the way he pimp slaps.

Burrow: This figure can move through figures and treats all terrain as open terrain. It is immune to hazards while advancing.
Weapon Master: This monster’s attack does super damage.

So the image in my mind has Mechathugrosh Brawling someone as he jumps out of the ground. And this happy snappy is in a Motivational Poster with the lines:

SURPRISE PIMP SLAP!
Did you order a side of...

Ah Internet Pop Culture, how you amuse me.

I think the white coats of UCI are a little... well oblivious on the methods of the conventional pimp. A Conventional Pimp doesn't believe in "If you want the job done right, do it yourself". It's pretty much a level of blasphemy if you're a big time Pimp.

But if you're just starting out, only learning how to move your business around, you have to make an example. Instead of letting your lackeys take on the trash, you have to bring them in and say "What do you say to a man who owns a pig farm?"

Mechathugrosh does have to take matters into his own hand. And with that, his Pimp Slap has to make an impression. And to make an impression, it has to be a massive amount of damage as part of a sudden event. Popping out of the ground and slapping someone as hard as possible is a probably one of the best ways of putting someone in their place.

Now the debate remains of which is better? Well that depends on your perspective.

So each party takes a different style of play. Ultra Cthugrosh is much the same as his alpha, where he heals and throws everyone about from a distance. His Blast attack thriving at an effective 10 space range gives him little protection as he sits back amongst his units that he sacrifices to heal himself.

The downside? He has an average health of 5. The lowest and most common health there is in the game. With the commonality of Buildings with Hazards dealing extra damage, having the Sacrifice action isn't exactly going to save him from Power Attack Throws. His Defence 7 will make it difficult, but his survival still stands at 2 turns including a Ritual Sacrifice, three if a meat slave is used in between. If the scenario has no hazards you can take damage from as you collide with it, then he can last for about 4 turns, more with Meat Slaves.

Ultra Mechathugrosh is not the same. Their stats are exactly the same except Mechathugrosh's defence of 6, and his regeneration is nothing in comparison. Which is where he makes up for it in Super Damage.

So which is better? Full-Bodied Pink Spandex? or Neon Orange?

Next Friday: A Carnidon Walks into a Bar...

Big In Tokyo

Today is the day that Fastbreak gives my group and I our Big In Tokyo set. We'll tear open the boxes like kiddilywinks at Cthulmas. It's very exciting. We grab a case each and divide the winnings amongst ourselves, getting both of our Monsters for the series and a handful of units for everyone to play with.

I'm quite excited as from my bag of goodies, I finally get to see the Grinder Tank and the Oppressors. AKA: Cousins of Cranky, and the Bagless Vacuum Cleaners. Through spoilers released by Privateer Press, we know that they have some nifty rules.

Grinder Tank
Marker (Advantage): If this figure participated in an attack that missed, reroll the attack roll with dice in play.

Oppressors
Burrow (Skill): If you don't know it, you're in the wrong faction.
Abduct (Action): If this figure and another FAC figure with Abduct are adjacent to the same enemy unit, crush that unit. Do not gain a P-Die for crushing it.

That's all we know. No stats, no other abilities (though it's assumed the Grinder Tank has Burrow as well) and I have to wait until tonight when I open up the stuff and examine the gear. I may even talk about the new buildings in Big In Tokyo! instead of Jibber Jabbering about copycats.

So Next Tuesday: Dustbunnies Beware!

Voltron: Defender of the Universe

A little while ago I wrote about Lo-tron, a nemesis to Voltron who lives with a rather lame name, and I delved into the previews of their 5 piece morpher. Three figures and their Ultra have been previewed insofar, along with the two Maps featured in the Voltron Set.

So since Lo-tron has been previewed, lets move onto Voltron, the real star of the show. Only three lions have been previewed, just as Lo-tron was: Blue Lion, Green Lion and to form the head: Black Lion.. And as with Lo-trons Morphers, each figure is unique in it's own way by taking different roles.We begin with Blue Lion, disappearing into the sky with his wonderous colour, he takes on a support role with his abilities that aren't flight.

Power Gorge (Blast): You gain +1 P-Die.
Motivator: AGN figures that begin their advance adjacent to this figure gain +1 SPD.

While his blast attack isn't particularly special at 3*1, Power Gorge gives a great benefit. attacking a unit yields 2 Power Die. Considering the low defence of units, this is a good idea for attack alternatives.

Motivator is a nifty addition to the Morphers. With Green Lions Speed of 6 spaces, it can slingshot him into a scrum of units so he can support them.Green Lion is an interesting Morpher. He's not proficient in anything but moving. His Brawl is 3*1, which is only slightly weaker than the others at 4*1, but it's good enough to set off his Brawl Trigger.

Synchronized Move (Brawl): Choose 1 allied unit within 2 spaces of this figure and advance that unit up to its SPD, even if it has already advanced this turn.

Now on a normal Monster, I could see the benefits. You attack and you can shunt a unit in the way to prevent Power Attacks. In a scenario play, it can definitely be good. But Scenario play will be a topic for another blogpost. So there's plenty of movement. And to boot, he does it for free.

Quick: If this figure is the same FAC as your monster, this figure can advance without spending an A-Die.

So the movement of 6 spaces, 7 with Motivator, can mean you're thrown across the 13x13 square field without even thinking twice about it. And when he does realise he's on the other side of the field, he can decide if he wants to step and spend some action die.Players that I've encountered have been more keen on offensive power, though, and ability to disrupt as such. That's where we form The Head! Black Lion stands to offend with this two triggers.

Toss (Brawl): Place target monster in a new location up to 4 spaces away from its current location in a straight line in a direction chosen by the attacker. You can place the target only into unoccupied spaces or spaces occupied by buildings and/or units.
Crunch: If this monster’s attack rolled 1 or more super strikes, it does super damage.

Yes, he's more than a few harsh words. With his average attack stats of 4*1 each, all he really needs is to combine his attacks. Toss has always been a very annoying ability but that's because I like playing Ulgoth who can't be Power Attack Thrown normally.

That is our merry band of Morphers for Voltron: Defender of the universe. And as per tradition in Pop Culture, one must make a drinking game. Whenever someone Hypers up to Voltron, they have to say "And I'll form.. The Head" or they take a shot. And when they make a Brawl Attack with voltron, they have to say "Form Blazing Sword!" or they take a shot. And whenever Lo-Tron is destroyed, they have to say... dangit, I forgot the line. I'll take a shot.

We couldn't think of more at the time, but I'll be sure to post them all up when we've figured them out. Suggestions are welcome!But now we move onto the Robot Himself: Voltron. In all his Multi-Coloured Glory and Blazing sword formed, he stands proud amongst the field of battle to smite his enemies into oblivion. And because it's Blazing-freakin-Sword, he has to be good with it.

Weapon Master (Brawl): This attack deals Super Damage.
Reach: This figure can make brawl attacks against and participate in combined brawl attacks against target figures within 2 spaces and can attack figures that have Flight .

That's right. He can attack figures that have Flight. Why? Well frankly it's because he's big. And swinging about his Blazing Sword at 8*4, he's bound to hit something sooner or later. So why not do it in a very large area of attack space?

Now Voltron isn't just going to use his Blazing Sword. That just gets predictable. If someone's waving their sword around in your face, you don't just let it, do you? No. you grab a hold of it and surprise them with a different manoeuvre.

So why not try a Power Attack?

Synchronised Move (Power): Cannot be squixed re-typing it.
Super Smash: This monster’s smash power attacks do super damage.

I mentioned before the Sync-Move (Yes, I am getting Lazy) is good for normal monsters. It can line up a unit to prevent Power Attacks against the monster in the following turn. Unless they have something to get them out of the way, like Telekinesis or Tow.

With Blazing Sword Formed and a small need to barrel into people as hard as possible, Voltron makes for a simple but good monster. He won't exactly take over the Universe, but that's because he's too busy defending it from others, like Lo-Tron and the Lords of Cthul.

It'll be interesting if they release the vehicle Voltron. Who wants to play a 15 figure Morpher?

Next Friday: "My Milkshakes bring all the Spawn the Yard"

Hiatus

Alright Lads and Lassies. I'm on Hiatus. After some words poorly chosen just recently that were torn down by what little sense I have left, I've decided to go on Hiatus from the world of Blogeranians. I'll still read the handful that I follow, but I won't be posting anything up for a little while until I get my head wrapped around where the fuck my good words have gone.

Worst case, I won't post anything until I go to the US, which is 5-6 weeks away. I start posting from the plane what the hip-haps are as I touch down and drive into whatever locale I end up in on the first night. I'll see if there's an open connection and Bam. First post for USA.

Must find an Adaptor bit for the laptop cord, first. One thing I found interesting about the Netbook I grabbed last Thurs was the power cord didn't have a set Region port for it. You could change the male parts to suit what country you're in. Pretty sweet, I reckon.

So that's the only thing that'll be stopping me from Bloginating during my 3 weeks in Indy/K-Zoo. Until then, I may work on my writing. I mentioned monday that I picked up two books that talk about method of writing. And while sometimes Skinning a Cat comes down to intuition, I haven't been able to write anything more than the funny overviews on my Monpoc Blog. Jenny gets a good laugh, and the few other followers admit to giggling to themselves as well. But it's not a story.

I'm thinking of returning to my Claine story. I enjoyed the story I had so far. A group of "Assassin Hunters" in a "It was almost an apocalypse" future. It was...

Okay, Dee just took me on a Macca's run. Oh sweet and disgusting quarter pounder with medium chips and a hot chocolate sundae.

Where was I. Ah, the Claine story. It was inspired by a piece a semi-webcomic artist did - linky. He's a simple minded sort of guy who doesn't get messed up with the semantics on what he uses. He's a "Point and Pull the Trigger" kind of guy, who does some risky adrenaline work.

Okay, so I'm distracted again. I'm watching 30 Rock and I'm loving it. It's been recommended by everyone and their mothers. I swear, if I put up an address for people to send me postcards and say "Tell me why I would like 30 Rock", I'd have to bind them into a booklet and send them to Tina Fey with a little love note from Jenny saying "I only date guys who drink Snapple".

So Claine is an idea. Sci-fi, post "not quite as apocalyptic as a night spent in a house with nerds" future, with my own play on character.

BUT FIRST! Must finish reading the book about writing.

Oh and sleep. It's late and my beauty is fading.