Dustbunnies Beware!

For years they have tumbled across our carpets, pretending they exist in a good Cowboy Showdown film. They hide underneath your couch, confer within your cupboard, and flee to the corners of your living room. They were chased, searched for and interrogated by every house cleaner known to man.

But now... they're being Hunted.Wait, that doesn't look right. Is that... a Hoover? Or a Godfreys? I think we'll try this again.

But now... They're being Hunted.Much better. These are the Oppressors, cleaning carpets everywhere with the greatest efficiency and with their own two hands. But this is no Share House Apartment in the middle of Brisbane Suburbia. This is War. And everything is as dirty as a Lords of Cthul Joke.

What we know for certain so far is that they have 2 abilities.

Burrow: (Skill): This figure can move through figures and treats all terrain as open terrain. It is immune to hazards while advancing.
Abduct (Action): If this figure and another FAC figure with Abduct are adjacent to the same enemy unit, crush that unit. Do not gain a P-Die for crushing it.

If you don't know what Burrow is, then you've been playing the wrong faction. It's on par with Jump, in that it can stand on water but can't attack Flying Figures. Well fair enough, but Abduct doesn't restrict on whether a figure is flying or not. It needs two Oppressors adjacent to a unit and “POP” goes the Carnidon.

The images in my head of this change between figures and factions. The first appearance was from the Martian Menace, running from the classic “Flying Saucer Abducting Cattle” method where a bright shining light suddenly levitates the poor bovine into the confines of the saucer.

The other faction I can think of that has this ability is within Terrasaurs, specifically Pteradax. One of his Hyper forms has Blue Abduct. Now, it's not so much Abduct as tearing someone part as part of a feeding frenzy. Carnidons can do something! Now if they could only get adjacent to an enemy unit...

But now we have the Oppressors, fat people with hardware designer masks and suction fists. The image in my head isn't pretty. Its like a “Hoovers & Godfreys Tug-o-War Match!” using real people-slash--slash-machines-slash-animals-slash-alien vehicles-slash-spam-slash-alien beings-slash-tentacle demons-slash-fish-slash-spam-slash-etcetera. Winner has the largest intact piece.

I'm shuddering right now. Imagine hosing out the compartment...


Now that I've finished shuddering for the last couple of days and gotten my hands on the actual figure, I can now tell you about his last ability and his stats. Yes, the fella has a final ability which is actually really useful.

Tow: Choose 1 unit within 5 spaces of this figure and place that unit in a space it could legally occupy adjacent to this figure.

Ah, Tow. This is an awesome ability. Place a unit right next to you for a combined attack? This goes well for his 2*1 Brawl. And with such a long range, the figure can be on the opposite side of the board and so long as he gets close he can get suckered into doing something! (hehe, I made a Pun).

Using this, you can boost their Brawl Attacks even more! They start with a Brawl of 3*1 and if you get the trio, including 1 Elite, you get 9*6 to your attack. Tow in a Mollok Berserker to add in Berserk and you have a 9*9 attack. Most likely there will only be 3 Action Die in the attack, but that's Maths for you. I prefer my other option involving the boosting the towing and boosting of a HazMat Truck.

So there you have it. They Sucker punch whoever is in their way andnothing is going to stop them.

Next Week: Spray and Pray