A Carnidon walks into a bar...

...and the Bartender says "You're the worst Bruce Campbell Impersonator I've ever met."

The Carnidon is a poor victim of punishment. He gets the short straw every time there's an example he could be involved in, whether it's being crushed, flung, run over or abducted, he's always there to lend a helping hand because there's nothing else he can really do.

But why? What's wrong with the Carnidon? Why does such a prestigious blog like "I Hate Mogroth" (I'm snickering as I write this) like to pick on the Carnidon?

Well frankly, it's because he's useless anywhere else. Lets have a look at his stats.

• Speed 4
• Defence 3
• Brawl 2*1

So he's a bit slow, ironic for a stat called 'Speed'. He has an average unit Defence, and his Brawl is pretty good too, they can really dig into a good brawl if they want. No blast stat, which makes sense since he's no Godzilla. So he's a Brawler. Now lets look at his abilities and see what he has to offer.

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Okay then. So he has no manoeuvrability, which makes getting him across the board that much harder. He doesn't have anything special when he attacks, so he has to rely on brute force. And he doesn't really disrupt anything, except maybe cluttering up the field.

There are other alternatives, like the Raptix.

• Speed 6
• Defence 2
• Brawl 2*0
• Jump
• Anti-air
• Flank

The Raptix was introduced the same time as the Carnidon. And frankly, he was a preferable option over the Carnidon. Jump to manoeuvre and attack flying units; anti-air to take advantage of flying units; Flank to support friendly units and help with their own attack.

Nobody really fielded a Carnidon unless they had to. And the only reason you'd field a Carnidon is to secure buildings. They have a reasonable defence, and with the added bonus of cover, it's not a bad option. And if anyone attacks, they can hustle and because they have a decent brawl, all they have to worry about is whether or not the target is flying.

But we here at I Hate Mogroth believe that everyone has at least 1 second job. Unfortunately it's regularly ridicule. But the Carnidon is better than Ridicule. It doesn't get its feelings hurt by someone saying "Oh that unit is crap". No, he gets physically hurt for the sake of example! He's the plastic army man in the little kids sandpit who goes on wonderful adventures where he dies over and over again. The Carnidon is happy to take the job. Recognition in a way nobody else can get? That sounds fantastic!

We don't hate the Carnidon. He's our favourite and he can only get better. And if there are more interesting situations that we can subject him to, then I can't wait.

Next Week: Hit me Mogroth One More Time