31 December 2009

Stop the fucking Alliteration

And 2010 has begun.
Plans for this season of debacles? Well lets see.

In late Jan I get to see the fantastic Erin for her 21st birthday (a birthday which I was proud of myself to actually remember the date of) which doubles as her Graduation party as well! I'm very proud of her and can't wait to see her again. It's been too long.
She's going to kill me for complimenting her again, though. So I'm going to tell her to stop being a fucking bitch so that our balance is made.

In February, Shawday has her Birthday. I dunno what's happening with that, but I want to join her for it.

March/April (I'm pretty sure it's April): Go to the Medway Family Reunion. We're going to Coffs Harbour and staying in a Caravan Park for a few days (maybe up to a week, depending on time).

In April, the Penang Beauty that is Michelle wants to organise another May Weekend but Jason won't be attending because of a case of a "Out of Town". Yes, it won't be called a May weekend, but it'll probably have the same deal: Everyone meet at a pub, catch a play, maybe see a movie.
So here's hoping that those two plans don't conflict.
In August, make up to Jason by seeing him in his place in Toronto (Correct me if I'm wrong, please) Ottowa and while getting over the Jetlag I'll have a squizz at the local area. From what I've seen from Jason's photos the place looks magnificent.
Go to Gencon Indy. Oh Gencon Indianapolis. Jason is going to go because it's only a few hours drive from him. Kel is planning to go, short of major emergencies (touch wood). Scotty wants to go too and he would be pretty much set for it. I have to organise a loan for it since the money I save usually disappears with bills that haven't been paid properly suddenly crop up.
On the way back, see the amazing and lovely Jen in Chicago or Kalamazoo (yes it's a real place), depending on how she's feeling. We stop in for a little bit, take in the scenery and just enjoy some company.

September has Gencon Oz. I'll be fielding Khador again, but this time I'll actually paint my Khador army. I have my Extreme Juggernaut and Destroyer which I plan on painting when I'm not fucking about with Vagrant Story, and I'll get myself a few new figures that will be coming out at the same time. I may just paint my Epic Sorscha properly and field a Winter Guard army.

Around the Xmas season, the splendiferous (Wow, I spelt that correctly the first time) Jen and I have been talking about her coming to Brisneyland. She has wanted to come to Australia for years, so if she does come (fingers crossed) a lot of her mates from here in Bris will have to organise another Xmas party. She couldn't physically attend last years and was stuck on the other end of a Skype program, peering into the world that was the 'burgers at the Lock and Loaded and enjoying every moment of it.

Otherwise, there isn't really much else planned to the year. Write more, keep my job, don't get annoyed and stop being a fat slob.

19 December 2009

They Gotta Catch em All

Today was meant to be a secret to the general populace in the fact that everyone thought it was just a barbeque for the sake of having a barbeque.

The above picture affirms this to be a lie, however for the sake of entertainment please make believe that you didn't know for the duration of the blog.
Thank you.

So after a shower and a good chat on the net, I decided I would finally head off to Aarons BBQ. Considering the distance by bus and the amount of walking I would have to do, I decided to catch a taxi over.
I'm on holidays, I don't want to bother walking long distances in this summer heat.
Upon arrival I become curious as to where everyone is. With a glimpse of pink shirt, I begin walking up the driveway to the back of the house.
"OH! There's someone here!" calls out a voice from inside the window I pass.
"Hello?"
Caryls Sister, Bridgette, discovered me as I was searching for life in the area that is Aaron and Caryls back yard.

Walking through the back door, I find more of Caryls friends were already there, particularly Ingrid, a friend from school. Boy has she changed. Ingrid was a big girl at school and now there's practically nothing of her!

Their hijinks before the lunch was preparing food.
Which encompassed about $400 worth of lollies from the Confectionary Warehouse. You name it, they had at least one parfeit glass or tupperware tub or mixing bowl filled to the brim with it and slowly melting away in the summers heat.
Luckily, the parentals all brought stuff for an actual Barbeque lunch, such as Rolls and sausages, and some steaks. Oh, and the Barbeque.

But before everyone could chow down, Aaron, a giant man who is as boistrous as he is large, came out in a white suit that everyone noticed and was rather confused about.
So he gathered people into one half of the back yard and began giving thanks to just about each person and trying to be inconspicuous as he kept glancing down his driveway.
He began to struggle as he was running out of people to congratulate.
Suddenly he tried to feign surprise by going "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!"
Caryl walked out in her Wedding dress, bawling her eyes out at this actually happening, with her father holding her arm.
"Okay guys, for those who don't know, this is actually a sham of a lunch. We're actually getting married today."

They looked great. If I had a picture I would show you, but you'll have to make do with the cake that I told you to ignore. Yes, he had a monacle on him. He couldn't wear it because he isn't distinguished enough to be able to wear one.
The best part was when they asked Caryls sister Penny to do the reading:
I wanna be the very best
Like noone ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause
For those who haven't figured it out from this small snippet, she read a very emotional reading of the Pokemon theme song.

The day drove on and after socialising for a little bit, Scott and I retired to the couch to watch some Shrek with Aarons Neice, Taleah, where we also watched Aaron and Caryl cut the cake.



Apologies to those who may be a little confused: This event was actually saturday the 19th of December. I just post up a little late.

17 December 2009

This is Australia

Australia is Top Shit, okay? I've lived here for the past 23 years and have hardly moved from Brisneyland in all that time. Shit, I'm sitting in the house I grew up in while my mother is away in Townsville (It is not where the Power Puff Girls live, so when monsters come attack nobody will care about the decimation unless family are living in Townsville. In which case, my condolences.)
Now, the problem with that statement (The Top Shit, not the Powerpuffs) is that it's all that I know, short of what is in film and where I HAVE travelled to.

During my childhood, my dad would occasionally take me or my sister out with him on his trips. Being a Truckie taking cars to the middle of woop woop, its safe to say that there wasn't much to see short of a lot of open plains and the occasional Tourist Attraction. The Big Prawn in Ballina is one of them. I remember seeing it with my sister in the truck.

Way back when, Dad drove me out to Cunnamulla. We were driving along this open stretch of road, nothing to be seen on the horizon except maybe a few cattle sheds and tall grass, and Dad pointed out to what I think was a small rise in the cement piping that followed the road. It was hardly twenty metres long, but on the side was a few paintings, from what I would assume would be a local school or a group of hippies, and a large indent in it.
"You know what that is?" Dad asked, somewhat excited at making conversation.
"No, what is it?" I answered, curiously. It was the first thing to be seen for quite a few clicks.
"It's a footprint from a Kangaroo," he said. "Massive Kangaroo that hopped along here years ago. People were chasing it for days and as it passed by this road, it landed on that and left its footprint."

That was a pretty good one. Otherwise, I remember dusty roads rolling through one street towns. And sleeping. The truck would always lull me to sleep.

I do remember seeing my Uncle Scott in Dalby in the middle of the night with my sister. Couldn't have been more than 4*C and my sister stole the blanket to wrap around herself while I was stuck in my jumper and trackie dacks.
My Uncle Scott, however, was in a blue singlet and a pair of stubbies and thongs. He was a large fellow, probably a good 130kg, and he could feel nothing in regards to the weather. He loved it.
As for the scenery, well we couldn't see much for a few hundred metres since it was about one in the morning.

Moving back to the subject, I move south. Quite a few years ago, probably about eight now, my family went down to my Aunty Carols 50th to Newcastle. All I can remember is seeing the opposite shoreline of some small expanse of water, no idea if it was a river or just a quay, but I thought it looked pretty nice.

Another truck trip with Dad had the whole family going. We were going up a mountain range, and it was continually climbing. Because of my fear of heights I was getting rather anxious, but the view was still not half bad.

I know I've been to Charleville, but I can't remember a thing about it. We have proof that I've been to Grandpa's farm (My Dads side) and played there. Still don't remember anything about it.

Come up to a time more recent. Last year. I had plenty of friends. Some odd, some annoying, but overall good. Many of them are gaming buddies, which brings us to my next venture: Melbourne.
Arcanacon was on and a few guys from here were going, Kel and Alan. They invited me along and because I was very keen on Warmachine at the time, and had plenty of money to fool around with, I said I would love to come along not only for the gaming, but for the social aspect as well. I like alot of the guys on the forums and there's no harm in shaking their hands over a good game.

We arrived in Melbourne and Kel loaded up his GPS and made for the planned route to the event. I still remember looking out of the window at Melbourne and saying "Holy crap it is so Flat."
From the road heading from the airport, you could see the skyscrapers of the CBD (or so I believe them to be).
As we drove through the streets, I looked at the various houses and how they were built. Think the stereotype of England, where each building stood shoulder to shoulder, and drop them down to one storey houses; Small picket fences, or lace fences segregating Property from the 2-3 feet wide footpath; various overhanging decoration for the patios would compliment the aging building itself.
It's something I'll remember whenever I watch an Australian film set in Melbourne. Like the movie I saw today: Malcolm.

Moving on to this year I went to Canberra for Cancon, another gaming convention, with Rob and a few of his mates. I wasn't expecting much of Canberra except maybe a scant view of the Parliment house and meeting Waggles, which was inevitable since he was running the event I was attending. There wasn't much in the way of sight seeing while I was there. We mostly travelled between the convention centre and the Lodge we were staying at.
One night after a very solid day of gaming, we went into town for some drinks and to meet a few of Robs friends. I dressed up a little too much, wearing a good shirt and my straw hat that I adore so, and we travelled to a pub that I can't remember the name of. But what I do remember was 2 things: The second was one of the girls was a friggin stunner. I felt bad in the end because I couldn't tear my eyes away from her.
The First was the way there. Now people have made mention about Canberra being weird because the entire city was planned out and built as such. I slowly began to notice it as we drove through. Alot was much the same and I swear I got myself lost. I wasn't even driving!
But it was still nice. It was an experience.

Now we compare this to Brisbane.
Brisbane has a new horizon every 100 metres because of the hills. The old queenslanders that line the beach, or sit about in the middle of the older suburbs that aren't designed as part of the housing commission, are gorgeous houses in my opinion.
The most amazing culdesac I have ever been in was around the Ashgrove area. It was in the middle of an extremely tiny valley with a few of the older houses around and almost completely covered in trees. One of them was probably a Jacaranda. I almost told Kyle to pull over and stop the car while I absorbed the area.

Now, having mostly lost the point of what I was talking about, aside from the few sights I have seen and enjoyed, I remembered one thing. This isn't a thing to say "I want travel advice". I already have travel advice. Kel has given me good advice by saying "Travel everywhere else before you travel Australia. You'll appreciate Australia more in the end".
Other things have contributed to a faint desire to travel. The only downside I see about travel is that if I joined an arranged tour, I would be sent to see the sights that I could probably see in a book.
No, if I were to travel, I would want to see the nooks and crannys of their homes; the dingy little swillholes that people would frequent; meet the characters that contribute to so many lives, like the local grocers.
I would want to actually LIVE there.

That sort of thing is hard, considering I would have to sacrifice alot to do that sort of thing, but hey: A man can dream.

15 December 2009

The Burgers are better at Birmos

Monday is an odd day. It really does make you ponder the necessities of life as you gather on your shoes and hope that they're not only on the right feet, but you also don't have your partners socks on.
In my case, it was a sleep in. Why? Oh, that's because I'm on 5 weeks holidays.
So waking up at 6am, I realise that I forgot to turn off the alarm on my phone. Silly me. So I turn it off and go back to sleep only to wake up at about 11.
Not a bad start, I reckon.
There are only a few things that I needed to do today: Get some new jeans since the other pair are more holey than a jihad, and grab a couple of books for a friend.
Easy enough.

So that was my day in a nutshell.

The night, now that was interesting.

Set in the Lock n' Load, I was on an adventure into a land completely unknown to me: West End. Never before have I been to West End, but the word on the street is that it's a very down to earth area with plenty of restaurants.
Fair enough. Getting off at South Brisbane Station, I follow the map I traced out on Google. "Turn left at the lights, and follow along until Boundary Street. Turn left again and keep following until you see the pub".
Easy enough. I get to the corner for Boundary Street and turn left... Into Browning Street without realising. I get back onto the right track after figuring "Maybe I've taken a wrong turn" and suddenly find myself at the Lock n' load.

It's a rather dark sort of pub set in the middle of the street across from the FArt Gallery.
I went up to the bar and ordered up my usual and wonder if there will be anyone I can recognise. Standing out from the crowd was a fellow with a funny moustache and goatee.
"Damian? Maybe... Lets see if there's anyone else I might recognise..."
I sat there for a good 10 minutes before I saw another fellow at the bar ordering a drink.
"He looks familiar. Maybe that's Birmo?"
He toddled back into the crowd in the corner.
"Maybe it is. Alright. Time to balls up."
Sitting down next to the fellow with the fresh beer, a few faces turn to me.
"Birmos group?" I ask to a few of the guys who nodded and offered handshakes.
Huzzah! I had found the congregation!
Introductions were made and quite a few names ran straight over my head (Lermantov I'm pretty sure is a good example). I blame that on my practically broken ears. Next year you'll probably find me with an earhorn.
Anyway. Drinks continued and I watched, and attempted to listen, to conversations that everyone was having. More turned up and the optimism of reaching the reserved 23 was becoming prominant! Girl Clumsy, Mayhem and Timmo turned up, also with "He who shall now be named" The Lurker turned up with a couple of his friends, whom I name Andrew and the Polish Martini. I say the Polish Martini because 1: It's classy; 2: I know it rhymes with Martin; 3: I know it's not Martin. Andrew is the only name I'm actually sure about. Huon? Hewinn? I'm so sorry, Lurker. At least I'm not ending it with T this time.
Our guest from the US even turned up on Skype (Thanks to Damians supply of Technology) at WTF O'clock and I had a good chat with her as well.

The night slowly wound down to an end and while I did plan to stay out a little longer, I talked with mayhem for a little bit and lost track of Albion who was going to be my guide since everyone had buggered off.
It was a good time and entertaining to meet everyone. Can't wait until the next one.

13 December 2009

The Xmas Party '09

The day started off with rolling out of bed in the usual slumberous haze of "Where am I? who am I? what am I doing in a pair of Inline Bovine Boxer shorts?"
As the morning answers are slowly rolled out onto the conveyer belt to be viewed by the three questionnaires, the monitor of the whole event reminds everyone of todays travels.
11am: ____
11:30am: Jubs picks me up to go to (See below)
12pm: Xmas party at Grange Bowls Club.
1pm: _____
That was all the days plans. Have a few games of Lawn Bowls, have some drinks, and generally have a good time. Couldn't be easier than a joke about beetroots.

Ten O'clock rolled around and *beep* my phone begins ringing.
"Hello?"
"You useless bustard."
"What?"
"You're meant to tell me when to pick you up from the station."
"Eleven Thirty"
"Right. See you then."
The call was faster than metaphore for bad sex.

Train station was uneventful. It was a train station. What's to say about the train station? It's a station for trains! They aren't stationary. They don't train. They aren't trains stationed at the foreign legion.
They're train stations.

Making it to Windsor, I sat down to await Jubs' call. Moments later, Jaybo walks up to me.
"How are you getting to the Bowls Club?"
"Kyle is taking me."
"Oh, okay."
"There he is now."
So Kyle, Jaybo and I drove off. I text Jubs to not bother picking me up and inform him that he will meet us at the Crushers Leagues Club. Kyle had a hankering for Pool and I haven't played Pool in donkeys years.

As I racked up the balls, I noticed a pattern. With Pub Pool balls, they don't have the traditional 1-15 numbered balls. They have 7 Yellow, 7 Red, and a Black Ball (In this case, an 8-ball). But the colours made a very perfect V pattern like so:


Turns out there was a 21st birthday the other day and they lost a ball. Their only spare one was the yellow ball.
Fair enough. So he pulled out a whiteboard marker and marked the yellow ball I brought over, which we declared as being a red ball to even it out.

The game went swimmingly. Kyle, the pool shark, was hardly making his shots and I was downing the balls without a hassal. Kyle got worried he would have to do the Run-around because I was doing so well.
Then I had to deal with the 8-ball.
Now the 8-ball is tricky, don't get me wrong. The remaining balls aren't yours (at the beginning, there was 4) and you don't want to encourage two shots for them, naturally. But I said to him "Dude, you're about to get your arse whooped by someone who hasn't played in a good 3 years!"
From then on in I couldn't sink the fucking ball. Kyle ended up catching up to me but I got lucky and finally sunk the fucker. *Shakes fist* Take that to your 8-ball!

Round 2. Most of the back room of work had turned up to join us, and we began again. I looked at the balls... And there was no 8-ball, but an extra yellow ball that had been marked. We found the missing Red ball. It was hiding in the machine the whole time.
Since we had the marked yellow ball, we ran with that as our 8-ball and continued to remind everyone that it was the 8-ball. Teams were as such:
Me, Timony and Jubs
vs
Dan, Kyle and Jaybo.
I think it was a little uneven since I'm pretty sure Dan knows how to play.

The balls were against me. A ball would be set up in a pocket, teasing me with it's Victorious wiles.
Four balls later, I give up on pocketing them and ruining chances. Then I tested out a theory: "What if I don't aim so far out?"
Bam. Bam. Bam Bam.
Four unlikely balls later, we were caught up. I was totally playing it up! *Cough* I totally kept my sharking skills hidden for THEIR benefit *cough hack cough*.

Moving on, we packed up and drove to the bowls club. Grange bowls club is alright. It's a classic. With wooden speakers hanging from the building supports, a small collection of pokies to a corner, and all employees are over the age of 50 and have a story to each of them.
Whippy was one of the nicer fellows. One of his eyes was extremely bloodshot and I didn't think to ask about it, but eventually he told me his story. Through the past year, he had a Major surgery, a minor surgery and a Mediocre surgery on his eye.

Back to the group. Everyone was in on the drinks. It's on a Tab? Who wouldn't? We hung around, chatting about whatever when...
You know that somewhat sickly sound of soft flesh landing on a cement floor? Followed by the slow, whining cry of someone who didn't know what the fuck just happened?
Yeah, a small kid fell out of a window. Only about 3 foot, but the kid was hardly 2 foot tall himself. All of us congregated outside weren't trying to laugh. It was so hard.

Lunch was good. Steaks, sausages, rissoles, buns, onion, lettuce, tomato, beetroot and potato salad, all BBQ cooked. Except maybe the beetroot. It was a good Xmas lunch.

As the day wound down, with the games of bowls finishing up, everyone was simply mingling. Some more drunk than others, namely Peter. He was really trashed.
"Right boys, lets get to town. All expenses paid."
At that comment, and the glint in his eye, I was slightly afraid that I would wake up in a hotel room, naked with a bruised arse and a couple of used condoms strewn across the bed.
Later on, he was talking to Dan about how he would go into the valley to Harcourt road, pick up one of the girls because he couldn't get his missus hard, while Dan stood there shaking his head.
I think my fears may have been a little justified.

So with having a slightly upset stomach, I hadn't been drinking too much, but that's alright since the hijinks weren't overly excitable. Scandals weren't present. I discovered that Reuben can actually speak up (when he's drunk, but hey). And Lawn Bowls isn't as bad as previously thought, unless you're being invited to Harcourt Road in the valley with a guy.
Good thing I dodged that bullet.

10 December 2009

Tits, Tweezers and Too much alliteration

So here's the irregular rant about wimmen.

We'll start off with the easy one. I don't mean that in a "She's a dumb slut" way.
Girl 1 has finished uni, and I'm very proud of her. Unfortunately for her, she failed a subject by 1 percent, but I'm still very proud that she has gotten this far anyway.
With the turn of the seasons and the beginning of her 3 months school holidays, her work shifts have started picking up to about 38-40 hours on her favourite time shift: Midnights!
She was excited. I was happy she was excited. First week passed and I rather missed her. Usually I would receive a message or two from her, ones that would make me laugh, or would make me want to cheer her up by saying something malicious, or help her stop feeling embarrassed because she would be continually laughing for no reason in the middle of the food court, or would worry me because she would do something like burst into tears for no reason while she's on the bus to Uni.
I told her I missed her random texts, and she somewhat amended that the next week by sending me a message at like 12:30 at night, or later, with something random. 9 tenths of the time I wake up, but that's fine.

A couple of nights I've been worried, though. One night she came home in tears. She missed her own life. All she did now was sleep and work and occasionally watch the sun come up at WTF O'clock.
The last time she got me worried, she sent me this:
Loneliness just crashed through my iron gates, engulfed me in miserableness and is watching me fall apart. Bastard.
Poetic, to her credit. The annoying part was that because I was already awake, I figured it wouldn't harm me if I called her. I was worried and she didn't reply to my messages! But she didn't pick up. Which subsequently left me with worry that kept me awake for another couple hours.

Girl 2 hasn't got anything to whinge about. Well, except for canceling dinner on Wednesday, but that's something I can live with. We've been talking alot about lots of stuff. Some of it scandalous too.
She has been stuffed around by guys in the past. Since we've been really talking, she has had about 3 guys lead her on then dump her like a used... I'll stop the analogy there.
Anyway, the last one has thrown her for a loop. He had been a good friend for ages and made it clear that he was keen for her. She was keen too, so things happened. Too bad it was the same thing that happened.
Eventually she became somewhat recluse, and we lost contact for a few months. I was sad about it, but I moved on. Out of sight, out of mind.
Not long ago, we started talking again and we've been messaging quite solidly since, which makes me happy.

Other girls? Lets see. There's a new bakery girl. She has worked there before and was pretty quiet, but recently she has spoken up a little more. No idea what her name is though. Her name tag is never actually hers. Tomorrow will be the last time I see her for 5 weeks (Unless I either see her in town or come back to Windsor).


If anyone was wondering about the Alliteration thing? It's because looking over this months Blogs, they all began with T. Completely unintentional. Except this one.

09 December 2009

T-Minus Too Much

104 and a half hours to go until my holidays and the work week has just begun.
But enough about work. Work is boring and is secretly asking me to slit my throat with a ream of paper.

96 hours to go and I'm on my way to Mums place. The easiest way to get to mums is by bus. I had to make a small debate with myself. Take the bus all the way, or take the train before jumping on a bus for a much shorter distance with more legroom.
Train and Bus it was. I had to finish the book I was reading anyway (Myst: The Book of Ti'Ana). I picked up another Terry Pratchett novel over the weekend (Witches Abroad) and it has been a while since I read Terry. I'm starting to get Withdrawals.

I turned up at Mums place, prepared to have a nice roast dinner that Mum had organised for the day. Dinner with her Son and Daughter deserves a good dinner.
So I knock on the door and wait for Mum to climb off the couch and open the front door, as she usually does when I come to visit.
I knock again. She probably didn't hear me the first time, being asleep on her recliner.
I knock a third time. Okay, so if she's not on the couch then she's in bed having a snooze. I may as well go around the back and let myself in.
The house is empty. Mum leaves the TV on all the time, so I'm not surprised about that. So I give her a call.
"Allo."
"Hello mother."
"How can I help you."
"Well I'm at your place."
"... Oh shit... Sorry Matt."
Mums excuse was that she had been running around all day and forgot about the plans with her son and daughter, plans affirmed the day beforehand, and now she was up at my Niece and Nephews Kindy Xmas Party. The Niece is 4 and the Nephew is 1. The Niece was in her xmas gear, a little red dress and bells for earrings. You could hear her moving her head from the other side of the room.
Santa was handing out presents to all the kids, calling out their names, saying thank you and getting a quick Happy Snappy for the parents.
The Nephew was called out and on the approach he started to bawl his eyes out at Santa before running away for his Mummy.

To make up for the lack of Roast, Mum said she would shout me some takeaway and just hang out at her place to watch a movie.
As usual with Foxtel, there is hardly anything good to watch on the 400+ channels available. Luckily for us, there was a movie we were both keen to watch: Max Payne.
...
I don't recommend this film, honestly. It is very slow and there is hardly anything to the story itself. Some of the aspects were pretty interesting, but otherwise it was extremely lackluster.
*Shrug* We gave it a chance and were disappointed.


Tuesday.
Skip work time and we are on 72 hours remaining.
A Monpoc tourney was organised. 5 people turned up (*Sad Face*) but it was good fun otherwise.
Shez, Pekin and Jarr were off to see Greenday. Not long after the tournament had started, I recieved a message from Pekin.
hey dude that chick from king of Leon is here and she was like "hey u replaced ur guy friend what a shame aye"
Immediately I called him and told him to give her my number. I know he didn't, but he should've.
I still remember Kings of Leon. She was keen on me, I could tell, but Shez kept telling me that she thought I was a retard.
I admit that I was a little trashy that night... I already had a stein or two before the concert and had a few more at the Entertainment Centre, and a few more afterwards... But I was cool. Totally suave in a slightly obnoxious way.
Pekin had his orders, and I bet he didn't go through with them. All well.


Wednesday.
Not very interesting day. Dinner with a friend was cancelled, a little to my disappointment, and I ended up downloading Bloodbowl and starting the next Terry Pratchett novel (Witches Abroad, as mentioned above).
48 hours to go.


Thursday. Today even.
The most exciting thing so far is the Secret Santa give outs. I had been forgetting the Xmas Presents I bought for Reuben all week and still hadn't wrapped them. So I asked Tim if she had any wrapping paper and VOILA! Poorly wrapped Superman Freezer Mug and Superman Stubbie Holder in under 5 minutes.
I scored pretty well out of my stuff though. There was this weird Ben 10 thing, where it's the soft rubber and can turn inside out to be an Alien or Ben. Then there were two random fantasy books: "Tales of Mithgar" and "Beneath an Opal Moon". The last item, and the best part in my opinion, is the Box of Lego Pirates! A Buccaneer with a Cannon, a Pedestal with a Golden item on top, and a Pirate with a Tresure Map and Cutlass! I assembled it as soon as I got it! The cannon can fire lego pieces and shoot down the Pedestal! It makes me want to get the $170 lego truck that I saw ages ago at Kmart.

It is now 12:30 and I have... 28 Hours to go until my 5 weeks of holidays.

06 December 2009

The Wild Things are brats

Lessee. The Week at work was as stressful as usual, running around like a chook with its head cut off. But luckily I got my extended holidays approved. 4 weeks, champs. And already a week of it is planned to look after Mums place. Mum is headed to Cairns for about 10 days, and I volunteered ages ago to look after the house.
I'd completely forgotten about it until Mum mentioned it the other day. Whoopee

The weekend was alright.
Friday night D&D got two encounters than the usual one encounter and a couple hours of blathering on about whatever happened during the week. This weeks primary topic is Hordes MK2. Aarons Opinion is that the Hero Sucks. Everything else? Great. Not a problem in the world. He was unsure about the change for Champions, but after a few games with them he is more than happy.
Scotty has his problem with the "Role Confused" Seraph, who recieved a bonuses to his stat line for melee abilities, such as an Increased MAT and P+S for his melee weapon, and became a Heavy Warbeast.
I'm sorry, but what's the problem? Yes, it's still expensive. That's fair enough. It was a very influential figure in MK1, and may stay the same in MK2. But it's still in field test mode and your feedback may actually change something.
With the change to Wings/Flight, if you're tied down by a warjack of some sort then you don't have to worry about not being able to fight back. It's P+S 14 with critical poison for those Living Warbeasts you will probably fight. It may stop you from shooting your Strafe attack for a turn, but you know what? It will really cost them what they sacrifice, lest they string off a few unit figures at you and you don't decide to take a free strike so you can shoot the lot of them with Strafe.
*Shrug* that's just my opinion.

So Skarburn, the Ex-Male Orc, Ex-Elf, Now-Female Goblin, Bisexual, Halberd-wielding Barbarian with Multiple Accent Syndrome (Usually something European, or occasionally Jamaican), is still a Goblin and is on the way to returning to be an Orc. I have to get 10 criticals during the next couple of encounters (For those who don't know, it's rolling a 20 on a 20-sided dice). I'm down to 8 now.

Saturday was Alex's birthday, Alex being Kel and Tash's Youngin. He's turned 1 and had an exciting time seeing lots of people around.
I'd like to point out that the Rissoles that were cooked up were delicious.
Most of Kel's mates were there, most of whom I recognised from previous events, such as Greg and Miranda, Owen and I can't remember if I'd met Jason before.
When I started talking to Greg he began with something simple.
"Hey Medway, do you play Bloodbowl?"
"No, sorry."
"Well you do now."
So I'll probably find a way to pick up Bloodbowl somewhere along the line. Humph has a Vent Server and Facebook is good for organising a good night with everyone (Which is apparently Sunday or Monday around 8pm).
It sounds fun.

Sunday confused me for a while. For starters, I went with my Mum and Sister to go see "Where the Wild Things Are". Fair enough, Mum's a kid at heart, and it seemed like an interesting movie.
But it doesn't really seem like it's for kids. I suspect that they won't understand it. It's lots of yelling about things that are very childish, such as not liking someone because you think the person you like likes them more.
Kids would leave without understanding what happened.

Looking up on Wikipedia (I'm lazy, everyone cites alot of information from Wiki) turns out it wasn't a movie FOR kids, but ABOUT kids. Explains my bewilderment.

The other confusing thing was that my body randomly tensed up for the rest of the day. I even went home early because I couldn't relax and kept stretching to try and feel better, but that didn't work. So I slept through the better part of Sunday.

Now it's Monday. Tonight is roast dinner with Mum and Sister. Tomorrow night is a Monpoc Tourney for Mega Incinerus. I'm having dinner with a friend sometime this week. I'm starting my holidays at the end of this week.
I went to the shops today and saw Kristy, one of the girls from Zone Fresh. She's a little more tanned since I last saw her, and she asked my name. It has bugged her for a little bit, and now she knows. Apparently she doesn't know many Matthews, so she is one of the few people that calls me Matthew. Or Matt. Whatever.

Tattoos

"So do you have any Tattoos?"

"I do have one across my back," he replies with a coy smile. "I'd have to show you another time."

"That's okay," she replies, curling her burgundy hair behind her ear. "What's it of?"

"A Dragon and a Tiger circling each other to fight."

"And why did you get that?"

"Family Zodiac. I'm born the year of the Tiger, my sister the year of the dragon, and we're both Cancerans."

"You believe in the Zodiac?" her curiosity piqued.

"It's amazing how accurate it is," he affirms, placing his hands on the mat between them. "Dragons are voracious when it comes to attention, getting as much as it as possible. Because of being a Canceran, she reacts to it according. Positive attention gives positive reaction. It's like Gold.

"The Tiger is not quite the same. They don't tend to approach people, but they're very approachable in a very relaxed, and laid back way. Being Canceran, they react with people in much the same way, but only requires a catalyst of some sort."

"Ah, okay," she replies, drinking in every word. "So you're in need of a catalyst?"

"That I am," he answered. "Something that will improve my life."

"So why are they about to fight?"

"Well, the circling is to represent the symbol for Cancer, the numbers six and nine tilted to the side. Yin and Yang, even. The fight is because both the Tiger and the Dragon are fierce when around each other, because they are age old opponents. Chinese history has always had the Tiger fighting the Dragon. We did the same thing. We fought as kids almost every other day, and usually about the most pathetic of things."

"But she's still your sister?"

"Of course. And we're much better now that we don't see each other every day," he laughs.

"So why are you looking for a catalyst?" she inquires.

"Well quite frankly, I'm boring. I want someone who can spark some energy within me and make things exciting," he explains. "And being a Tiger, I don't feel right approaching people so that makes things difficult."

02 December 2009

Twatter Twetter Tw*tter Twotter Twutter

is disgusted that his Girlfriends-Without-Benefits have forced him into this derivative of Facebook.
8:43 PM Oct 19th from web

What's up with the random followers, yo? I have like 5 and 3 are all advertisements!
9:04 PM Oct 19th from web

A Bath? With Wimmen? And have them Ogglin me Trumpet and Skittles? I call that Shameless, sir!
11:04 PM Oct 19th from web

Ecstacy = Musical Choreographer? It makes so much sense...
10:08 AM Oct 20th from mobile web

V Energy Shots smell like Fruit Roll Ups.
2:16 PM Oct 20th from mobile web

is totally off his Tweet...er...
2:38 PM Oct 20th from mobile web

Tumble Dryer Friendly Children, miracle of the future.
9:27 PM Oct 20th from mobile web

"Myagagag" - Popeye's Evil Twin
8:35 AM Oct 21st from mobile web

My face now smells like Potpourri
2:10 PM Oct 21st from mobile web

Not only am i getting back into my Sonic Groove, but i figured out how to turn on a pocket watch.
7:33 PM Oct 21st from mobile web

Wants a Roast and Gravy Roll.
11:17 AM Oct 22nd from mobile web

Pepsi Burps taste like Pizza
12:34 PM Oct 22nd from mobile web

Robot DJing for the future of mankind.
3:21 PM Oct 22nd from mobile web

Is downloading Starcraft 2 Battle Reports. However, my PS3 won't play the Sound...
8:42 PM Oct 22nd from web

Dear Work. Let me go home to the peace and quiet that awaits me
12:08 PM Oct 23rd from mobile web

It's 10:30 and I'm eating Cookies 'n' Cream Tim Tams and Coke Zero...
10:37 AM Oct 24th from web

Just got satisfied by a Kebab
5:55 PM Oct 24th from mobile web

hates getting worried about someone and can't do anything about it.
6:48 PM Oct 24th from mobile web

had a really good night
11:08 AM Oct 25th from mobile web

Makes his Mistakes on Epic Scales.
12:03 PM Oct 26th from mobile web

has stress headache and stomach cramps
2:45 PM Oct 26th from mobile web

My gum tastes like Sultana's?
3:25 PM Oct 26th from mobile web

With all this doom and gloom, it's making me want to get a drink.
10:55 AM Oct 27th from mobile web

doesn't have much to do tonight. Looks like Sonic and Jim tonight.
2:08 PM Oct 28th from mobile web

Jim and Sonic is better than Gin and Tonic
3:13 PM Oct 28th from mobile web

Jim has gone... One and a half bottles in a night... I did that like two weeks ago... Three even!
5:52 PM Oct 28th from web

Day one. Jeremy leaves me with his work today until the monday after next.
7:17 AM Oct 29th from mobile web

my morning breath tastes like Red Cordial...
7:56 AM Oct 29th from mobile web

found the worst thing to call someone: Cum Dumpster
12:00 PM Oct 29th from mobile web

So over it that i can't wait to go home to an empty house
3:18 PM Oct 29th from mobile web

"what are you waiting for? A certain shade of green"
7:48 AM Oct 30th from mobile web

Stresses way too much than should be legally allowed.
2:14 PM Oct 30th from mobile web

is getting Borderlands in about a half hour. And AA batteries.
1:34 PM Oct 31st from mobile web

stupid aaa batteries.
2:15 PM Oct 31st from mobile web

score, free bus ride home
2:19 PM Oct 31st from mobile web

"Wow, that's more banged up than my mom's girly parts!"
2:38 PM Oct 31st from mobile web

is starting to wonder whether it's all worth it.
10:57 PM Oct 31st from mobile web

Borderlands: the scared love child of Fallout 3 and Quake 3.
1:18 PM Nov 1st from mobile web

Borderlands: the sacred love child of Fallout 3 and Quake 3
1:19 PM Nov 1st from mobile web

Hehe, 69 Tweets.
11:07 PM Nov 1st from web

sometimes you just walk into a room and the first thing that comes to mind is smoked turd.
10:34 AM Nov 2nd from mobile web

Holy fuck knuckles, I'm writing something.
6:15 PM Nov 2nd from web

fml
7:44 AM Nov 3rd from mobile web

Yawn.
9:28 AM Nov 4th from mobile web

her big breakfast and chocolate shake in front of her, i'm pretty sure i've fallen in lust
9:42 AM Nov 4th from mobile web

Liquorland reciept smells like Hazelnuts?
10:36 AM Nov 4th from mobile web

yeah. Pretty flippin hot, hey.
4:39 PM Nov 4th from mobile web

burning desire to have another shower
7:31 AM Nov 5th from mobile web

it's all going downhill from here
12:03 PM Nov 5th from mobile web

and i caught myself in the snap back.
4:21 PM Nov 5th from mobile web

Raw Toothbrush tastes like Cupcakes
11:39 PM Nov 5th from mobile web

morning breath tastes like ass when you brushed the night before with cupcakes
7:22 AM Nov 6th from mobile web

One person has texted me. Why am i Worried...
1:33 PM Nov 6th from mobile web

I have discovered the secret of Love, and in of all places: The Train
6:49 PM Nov 6th from web

My phone is a brick.
6:47 PM Nov 7th from mobile web

My phone is a Brick. And it keeps Flashing at me? Not the good flash either.
6:49 PM Nov 7th from mobile web

"Oh hi, little girl. I hope your vagoo is enjoying the taste of your shorts."
2:35 PM Nov 8th from mobile web

Solved the case of the Mysterious flashing message symbol.
3:28 PM Nov 9th from mobile web

Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked; Money don't grow on trees
2:48 PM Nov 10th from mobile web

Sleep! Huh! Good Gawd ya'll! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR!
11:49 PM Nov 10th from mobile web

"There is no gravity. Earth just sucks." - Graffito
3:04 PM Nov 11th from mobile web

"Now I know that you're tired of this COS YOU'RE A ROBOT! THEY DESIGNED YOUR LIFE!"
5:12 PM Nov 11th from mobile web

Nuh.
9:51 AM Nov 12th from mobile web

"While all the Vultures Feed"
7:47 AM Nov 13th from mobile web

Where is my short stack with Bacon
10:09 AM Nov 13th from mobile web

Is playing too much Borderlands and picking up the accent too easily.
4:29 PM Nov 14th from mobile web

Remember: Don't pull The Face in the middle of conversation. People know what it means.
8:19 PM Nov 15th from web

"Okay, his name is Hemoboy and he spits blood, but he's a Haemophilliac-" "Stop"
2:51 PM Nov 16th from mobile web

Seriously. Enough with the Relationship updates, Facebook. I've had enough.
10:56 PM Nov 16th from mobile web

Now my Radio is mocking me. Fuck you, Chad Kroger. Your stupid love ballads can go now.
11:06 AM Nov 17th from mobile web

11,11? I'll let you guess my wish. I'm looking at you Chad.
11:12 AM Nov 17th from mobile web

The world Mocks me further by filling it with beautiful women. *shakes fist*
7:54 AM Nov 18th from mobile web

"I know that you're tired of this COS YOU'RE A WROBOT! THEY DESIGNED YOUR LIFE!"
4:50 PM Nov 18th from mobile web

says Hi to Del when she gets back from Work.
10:39 PM Nov 18th from mobile web

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please put the alarm on code brown because I need to change my pants."
7:51 AM Nov 19th from mobile web

VA-VA-VOOM! A bottle and a Half Litre Can of V for Breakfast? I'll be dead by lunch!
11:22 AM Nov 19th from mobile web

If I were the head of a conspiracy, what would be my ultimate goal?
9:21 PM Nov 19th from mobile web

"HOLY BANANA PAJAMAS, BATMAN!"
7:49 AM Nov 20th from mobile web

never realised that "Pink Doughnut" was a euphemism for vagoo.
1:45 PM Nov 20th from mobile web

Me: "Whats with the drugs?" D: "Bad Headacheeeeee" Me: "Headcheese?"
7:14 PM Nov 21st from web

6am for a birthday party? Well i never...
6:07 AM Nov 22nd from mobile web

is watching Mary Poppins.
5:04 PM Nov 22nd from mobile web

"Right, don't be good and be careful. I don't want to have to buy a pram." "Mum, who do you think you're talking to?"
7:33 PM Nov 22nd from mobile web

what can you do when your phone has replaced the word Can with Bam?
7:23 AM Nov 23rd from mobile web

is too silly for his own Good.
10:33 PM Nov 23rd from mobile web

is fearing for his life. First a dead raven in the bush, then a possum on the footpath!
12:26 PM Nov 24th from mobile web

"A lack of information; i'm punch drunk and i need to find a way back home, it'd be a miracle if you'd oblige"
5:00 PM Nov 24th from mobile web

is far too restless. Enough of this nonsense i say!
11:15 PM Nov 24th from mobile web

*insert big swear word*-ed
7:28 AM Nov 25th from mobile web

"7am. The garbage truck beeps as it backs up and i start my day thinking about what i've thrown away."
4:54 PM Nov 25th from mobile web

"Welcome to the l4yer cake, son."
8:32 PM Nov 25th from mobile web

"Ah fucking 'ate Pikeys"
8:30 PM Nov 26th from mobile web

You know what I could go for? Baked Beans and a few slices of buttered bread. Lifes simple pleasures, mate.
10:01 PM Nov 26th from web

of all things to forget, it had to be my book and keys...
7:24 AM Nov 27th from mobile web

Zombie Island of Dr Ned? Short but sweet.
10:46 AM Nov 28th from mobile web

2.00 pm. The PS3 beeps as it loads up and I start my day wondering why I stink this way... (JK, I don't stink)
2:01 PM Nov 28th from web

Killing Zombies is hours of fun! My hours are up, but hey!
5:06 PM Nov 28th from mobile web

Ugh.
9:40 AM Nov 29th from mobile web

"Don't go falling in love with me stranger. I've been hurt too many times... By Zombies."
9:50 AM Nov 29th from mobile web

750m and i'm already sweating like i'm at Bricktops Pig Farm
11:32 AM Nov 29th from mobile web

Why the FUCK do i have a massive headache?
7:08 PM Nov 29th from web

is probably becoming too partial to Solitare...
8:47 PM Nov 29th from web

time for bed and to get rid of this headache.
10:32 PM Nov 29th from mobile web

Not. Cool.
11:54 PM Nov 29th from mobile web

"hey hey, right where you're standing? I pooped there." - Claptrap
8:56 AM Nov 30th from mobile web

Sunshower
2:08 PM Nov 30th from mobile web

time to go home and pass out for an hour
4:48 PM Nov 30th from mobile web

is staring out over the eleventh ocean
6:36 PM Nov 30th from mobile web

"Tess is with Benedict now? She's too tall for him."
7:44 PM Nov 30th from mobile web

"I earnt my PHD in DANCE!"
8:40 AM Dec 1st from mobile web

so much for my "as little caffeine as possible this week" plan.
1:56 PM Dec 1st from mobile web

Game On
5:09 PM Dec 1st from mobile web

"They don't know my thoughts, they don't know the least. If they listened to the words they'd find the message that's beneath"
about 21 hours ago from mobile web

"If i go crazy then will you still call me superman? If i'm alive and unwell will you be there holding my hand"
about 12 hours ago from mobile web

"Two guys walk into a bar..."
about 5 hours ago from mobile web

27 November 2009

He's totally not Dr Zed from the last story! Look at his Moustache!

Zombie Island of Dr Ned is the Downloadable Expansion for the very entertaining Borderlands. Previously, I finished Borderlands with much enthusiasm running through. I was disappointed to find that the ending wasn't as entertaining as I thought, having defeated the final boss in about a minute (literally) and then getting confused on what I should be doing while standing about after "OH LAWD! THERE AIN'T NO HEAVAN!" droaning on over the credits. Not a bad song, mind you. Maybe just a little random.
But finishing up the game and finding myself having 1 mission to finish off in Western Rust Commons, I decided to put down the game.

Rewinding time for a little bit, about a week after Borderlands was released they announced an upcoming downloadable content. They even gave everyone some Trophies and Achievements (PS3 and Xbox 360 respectively) to collect for the upcoming pseudo-expansion.

Fast Forward to the night of the 27 Nov. A long two weeks has it been since I last played Borderlands. A friend of mine reminded me that last tuesday "Zombie Island of Dr Ned" had been released to download on the PSNetwork. An hour later, after figuring out that the PS3 won't background-download while a DVD is playing to pass the time, I began my journey to Jakobs Cove in search of Brain-mongering Zombies and strange mutants while accompanied by a BBQ Chicken pizza and a Green can of Lemon-Lime Solo.
Side note: The Reheated Pizza and new can have decided to turn against me by burning my mouth and not opening properly when I demand comfort.

Three to four hours later, I retire with but one question on my mind: What is with the Zombie Brains. Every third or fourth Zombie that I down doesn't, I repeat: Doesn't, drop a Zombie Brain. It frustrated me to no end! I messaged Scooty in an inadvertant way of informing him of the downloadable content by saying "WHY AM I STILL COLLECTING ZOMBIE BRAINS! THEY DO NOTHING!"
Still I plodded along, testing my ability to ignore items that can be retrieved, and failing 3/5 times.

The Humour continues, as is tradition with Borderlands by following every single Cliche they could work into it as possible, from bodies littered around of poor dorks that tried to solve the Zombie Apocalypse, to the ECHO recordings of a Shaggy Spoof, to the Badass Tankenstein who, you guessed it, throws explosive tanks at you.

For a ~1gb download, it was worth the 5-6 hours of entertainment. I heard rumours of better guns and gear, but I didn't really come across any of that. *Shrug* All well. You can always look for Zombie TK Baha and watch him throw up Zombie Brains and a nifty random item.

23 November 2009

The Collectivity

I would like to point out that I made up this word without realising that it actually is a word.

Last Friday, I looked to my bed to see a small brown box awaiting me. I looked at the Tag and, much to my surprise, it said "Privateer Press".
I tore open the box with a butchers knife, because I couldn't find anything else, and revealed to myself something I have been waiting for since about July.

Mega Yasheth.

Now, my Lords of Cthul Collection is complete. I have all Monsters and their corresponding Megas; I have at least one of every unit, grunt, elite and promotional alike; I have five Towers of Corruption. I want to find more Music Producer Buildings, and that will complete me (Two more to go I believe).

Heh, a silly game you say?
Mogroth, Mega
Yasheth, Mega

Meat Slave x5
Taskmaster x5 (Possibly with Shadow versions)
Cthulubite x5

Tower of Corruption x5
Music Producer Building x5
Imperial State Building
Insurance HQ
Hehe, silly.

But enough of that. Now that my collection is complete, now I must make my way to get Mega Drillcon and Mega Grindix!

19 November 2009

I'm the Boss and I have no idea what to do with myself

If you were at the head of an international conspiracy of a world reformed from a global catastrophe that wasn't so much catastrophic than... Well basically a shock to the system... what would be the ultimate Goal of your conspiracy?
World dominance is not an option because any sane person would not go to all that hassal to be able to boss a few people around from an island in the middle of the pacific that popped up from awkward tectonic shifts.

16 November 2009

"It also works as a Tennis Raquette!"

Grindix-Birvikaan, AKA: Slugbutt. Now, this guy is considered one of the more competitive of the pair, with plenty of brawling potential and bonuses, and overall a good list of abilities.
To start from the bottom, he has what I consider the more confusing abilities on him: Super Stomp. Now, questioning because of his figure, how does someone with a Rear end that drives along on a series of smaller drillbits somewhat like a centipede, STOMP?
No matter. It makes for good power dice generation. Set up a few cheap structures in a corner, like Office Buildings, make a stomp and have plenty of power dice for an impending double activation.

Next ability up the ladder is Red Distract. I can understand why he has distract. Anyone close enough to him will be wondering the same thing (I.E. "Slugbutt does what now?") and that's bound to throw them off their attack ever so slightly. I like distract. It goes great on a Unit, especially one that really tears up the town. Like the Cthulubite. I won't say that it's as good on a monster, but that's because they could never live up to the Cthulubite. Nothing can live up to be a Cthulubite.

Third up is the staple ability of the mole people: Burrow. What a surprise.

Now we're onto the Offensive Triggers.
Slugbutt is a brawler, and you can tell by the giant buzzsaw as one hand/arm/limb, and I have no idea what his other is. I know it's not a blast attack, because he doesn't have one.
He has three triggers. Two are old reliables, Power Drain and Lightning Attack, and his new ability is thus:
Synchronized Move—Choose 1 allied unit within 2 spaces of this figure and advance that unit up to its SPD, even if it has already advanced this turn.
Power Drain is self explanatory - Hit a monster and he loses a Power Die. Synchronised Move is interesting in that you can move units to block an attack alley and force your opponent into a particular type of attack. Or move a unit adjacent to you for their Red Ability, or aura ability (like weaken) on your Second Lightning Attack.
Lightning Attack is a debatably better form of 2 damage compared to Super Damage:
Lightning Attack—Once each turn, this monster can roll a second attack of the same type with dice in play against the same target monster.
It is difficult to negate. It is also another attack, all other triggers are triggered again.
Power Drain takes away another Power Die, Synchronised Move denies another avenue of attack. And yet there are more Brawl Triggers that can be added to Slugbutt.
The Sports Arena has "Energy Drain - If target monster is hit, move one 1 A-die to the unit pool."
The Elite Corruptor has "Overload - If target monster has more than 5 P-die in it's pool, this attack deals Super Damage."
Thats right. Two A-die, Two P-Die, up to two moved units and Four damage later, you have finished your turn. And because it's Lightning Attack, the dice provided in the attack would be a Surplus of Power Die that you can gain back easily with the A-die you kept in your pool for a double activation.
"Wow, that IS powerful!" exclaimed every other player who hasn't figured this out.
"Yes, yes it is!" says the official announcer, proud of this seemingly overpowered combination.
"What's the catch?" pipes up the one suspicious fellow who always hides up the back of the crowd to hear his own thoughts.
Well, obviously it's having to secure the Sports Arena and having an Elite Corruptor within two spaces of Slugbutt.
Difficult? Only a little.

So we move onto Ultra Slugbutt... Boy am I liking this name... who changes his Brawl Triggers while keeping the same play.
Replacing his Power Drain is Energy Sap. This is much the same as Energy Drain, where it moves an A-die to the opposite pool, however it also applies to units. If you were to brawl an enemy unit, you can choose to move an A-die to their monster pool. It can deny a unit spawn or a Unit move. Or you can stick with hitting a monster and draining an Action die from it. With Energy Drain from the Sports Arena, Two Action Die are torn away from their grasp.

"Why would I go into this form if I can do more in my alpha?"
Because there is one other trigger available to you in the Ultra form:
Grind—Move 2 A-Dice from the dice in play to your inactive pool. Then move 2 B-Dice and 2 P-Dice from the dice in play to your dice well. If the dice in play include at least 1 remaining A-Die, roll another attack of the same type against the same target monster with the remaining dice in play.
With a Brawl stat of 8*4, this offers up to 4 attacks. Four Action-die shifted back to the Unit pool, Eight if your sports arena is secured.
Four potential damage, Eight if you have an Elite Corruptor adjacent.
Denying a Whole turn and Form is, however, not bloody likely. To have above a 50% chance on all the attacks, your oppoent needs to be Defence 5. Granted, this isn't hard. Spawn a Cthulubite and an Elite Corruptor and your opponent is already lowered by 2, and you have Overload available.
To get to 8 Action dice denied, however, your opponent needs 7 health or more, which leaves us with the following figures: Gorghadra, Ultra Xaxor, Mucustos.

"Should I really go through with something so major?"
In my experience, No. Attempting double activations seems difficult, but is possible. The difficulty lies in keeping a power base that hasn't been ravaged by your opponent, and conserving dice. Because the attack decays after each other, one must compensate for the said attacks. Played as if it were Lightning attack, with a few more power die than usual of course, Slugbutt runs around bugging the crap out of whoever he wants, and taking 4 Action Die with him each turn, denying your opponent his own double activations.

In conclusion, I find personally that Grindix-Birvikaan is better off in his alpha form with his Lightning Attack/Synchronised Move/P-die denial set rather than his Ultra form with the Grind/A-die denial abilities. In a Two Monster Game, while Drillnose runs around tearing up the opponents power base and gaining power dice, Slugbutt runs around on the offensive going willy nilly on the opponent.

Pronunciation Fail

Grindix-Birvikaan and Drillcon-Vorionnik, or as I want to call them: Slug Butt and Drill Nose. These monsters not only confound the enemy with a series of diphthongs, but also with a playstyle that certainly makes one thing twice about their actions.
They both play similarly by being primarily brawlers, but still able to make a good power attack when it's needed.

Drillnose... I mean Drillcon-Vorionnik... runs around with a pair of Laser Drills (True story) that not only take out what's in front of him, but also take out two units in the mean time. A great source of Power Dice is taking out a Mount Terra and two Carnidons, who are always victims to my examples forevermore, for a total of 7 Power Dice! When not tearing up the town, he hunts down his targets by taking advantage of his Burrow Ability, dodging anything and everything in his way. Except Mt Terra, Arcia Outposts, Privateer Press HQ's and Sun Drones.
Can Someone explain how a Sundrone, a hovering computer array that connects to a building to take power and relay it to a sattellite array and empower the ninjas below, stops a 60-something thousand tonne monster from burrowing underneath it?
In his spare time, Drillnose supports his army and himself with the abilities Riled and Global (Blue) Dig In.
Riled—If this figure is hit, gain +1 P-Die.
Dig In—If this figure is holding a power zone or negative zone, it gains cover.
Dig In may not seem very special. Cover? +1 Defence from Blast attacks to my units if I'm standing on the right spot? Not fantastic at all. But if you think for a moment... Mollok Brutes run fast and have a high base Defence. They don't quite have the range of a spitter, but it's not their fault. But with a High Defence, becoming even higher when being shot at, it makes for a tough target to remove before they make you "Kiss the Popes Hand". As an added benefit, they can get you power dice when it comes to your monster turn.

Riled? Well, if your opponent goes on the offensive, you gain a power die. Or effectively negate any power die draining abilities your opponent has.

So Alpha Drillnose is an impressive Power Die Generator. Ultra Drillnose becomes a little more offensive. Ultra Drillnose keeps all of his abilities except for Riled. To replace it is Weapon Master on his Brawl Attacks and a new Ability made Global:
Fortified—If you are securing this building, allied units within 2 spaces of it gain +1 brawl B-Die.
Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen. This can affect 2 different buildings: The Tower of Corruption, a building that can only be fielded in a two monster game with a Lords of Cthul Monster; and the rumoured "Black Out Factory", the Subterran Uprising Installation. The only problems? Nobody secures the Tower of Corruption, and the Black Out Factory isn't available for another... 8 Months? So there is very minimal effect in the game so far. A better one would be it's predecessor...
Fortify—If this figure is holding an objective space, AGN figures within 2 spaces of it gain +1 brawl B-Die.
... and would also match quite nicely with Dig In, like the perfect punching gloves to go with everyone's face plates... It's difficult to make a modified metaphor of "Shoes to go with the Dress".

With so few changes to Drillnose, his Hyper Stat of 3 is justified. He can spend the 3 Power die to run up and punch someone before flexing back down. It's just a matter of punching him.

Later: Slugbutt in all his Glory.

15 November 2009

One shell, Two shell; Red Shell, Blue Shell.

So far, the Subterran Uprising have proven to be a force that will pimp slap you harder than a brick to the face, and that's because they can't hold bricks and have to compensate for that.
With every army, there has to be a balance. You can have an army full of "I'ma cut you" units, or a force that walks up with a little flag and says "It would be quite nice if you stood over there while we shoot you. No, back a little further please. Thank you".
It's always an option for each faction and the Subterrans are no exception.
I introduce: The Mollok Mortar.
This cute little guy is absolutely stylin with its very own turtle shell, complete with rifle attachment. While his speed is not the best, the cheeky blastard makes up for it by burrowing across the world and making himself inconvenient to other opponents.
But where he excells in movement, he improves in shooting capability. His Blast stat is slightly better than a Spitter: 2*1, Short Range. An additional action die to an attack can always be useful. But the Mortar gets better with a Blast Trigger!
Power Drain: Target monster's controller loses one power die.
Nifty Huh? Now to get into range... Wait a minute. We only have short range.
So these Grunts are better than your standard Spitter Grunt, right? But you never field a Spitter Grunt on it's own, you always have an Elite available. With a new faction and playstyle comes a new unit layout. Lords of Cthul had a reputation to have Elites that grant Abilities to adjacent figures. Squix "Force Field", Corruptor "Overload", Spitter "Radar".
The Mollok Mortar Elite doesn't grant that. He promotes capability with Officer, and is stuck with short range as well.
So why not field an Elite Spitter with them and give off the Red Radar?
Cost efficiency. If it were possible to think ahead in a game and prepare for it, feel free, but a slow and unmaneuverable unit that doesn't benefit the Mollok Mortars attack aside from offering Radar isn't quite worth it. You're better off fielding Spitter Squads and having a Mollok Mortar Grunt available for the Trigger. Or you can field a Radar Array in your forces.
The Mollok Mortar also doesn't ruin the Subterran's Reputation to backhand it's opponents. With a 2*0 for it's brawl attack, while it may be mathematically worse than a Mollok Brute, a Berserker can kickstart that in a pinch.

So while the Mollok Mortars aren't as self sufficient as the Spitters, they can still put a nice dent into the enemy and their motives. Later, I may update this with the Glass Mollok Mortars Details.

11 November 2009

A Kiss to Send Us Off

"Meet me here. On November 11th, come alone."
Incubus creeps me out sometimes. I was pleasantly listening to this while building a ship for a Battleships Forever tournament and BAM, I get invited to a secret meeting with the lead singer of Incubus. Unfortunately, he didn't specify a place and the message got to me on Remembrance day itself.
Rudely, a day that I forgot existed until I started hearing the last post on the radio. Whoops!

Recently, I've been listening to a band called "Cage the Elephant", whom I found through a game called Borderlands. I've already made my comments about Borderlands.
The band isn't phenominal, but I really like them and reckon they have potential to be pretty awesome.
But I'm not a musician, so I could be wrong.

That's about my contributions to life these days. Twatter, as Waggles has become so fond of calling it, is keeping my status updates on facebook interesting.
Such as the other day: "Oh Hello little girl. I hope your vagoo is enjoying the taste of your shorts"
A tribute to all the 30kg young teens, and even tweens, who have hoisted their shorts up so high that it's not simply a camel toe, but a moose knuckle. You wouldn't think it's possible but I've seen it, much to my disgust.
Fair enough, the weather is warming up. You're bound to wear something according to the weather. Just don't force feed your vagoo.

Speaking of Waggles, I may have peaked interest of my character from Dirk. I mentioned the name and his reply was interesting.
"... Waggles? You know, Comrade Medway, I don't know your secret identity, but the people who know the name Waggles are few." (Thats not an exact quote)
I told him the truth, that I met him through Kel who has always called him Waggles, and through the gaming community.

Of Waggles other mates, I started following Birmo's Blog ages ago. I heard of Birmo when Waggles came up to Brisvegas to say goodbye to all his mates in April an saw the play adaptation of "He died with a Felafel in his Hand" (I still laugh at it). Recently, he has been posting Writing Tips which I have been keeping a track of. With a positive dream to write a book one day and maybe get it published, I am going to keep an eye on his posts.

And I'd like to give a shout out to Jennicki, a random who probably picked me out from Birmo. Another shout out to Rager... Whoever the heck he is. I saw him ages ago and reacted with a "Who?"
And a shout out to Erin because I'm obsessed with her beauty and beguiling attitude.

06 November 2009

The Secret to Love

That's right, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have found the secret to Love.
Some believe that it's Good looks.
Some think that it's Confidence.
BUT it is actually labeled by a word that sounds like a Parrot having an Aneurism.
Awkward
It is so Simple.
It is absolutely Profound.
It is the secret to True Happiness™!

What?
This is what I am being told lately. One girl says that if her and her boyfriend were to break up, she would date me because I'm more awkward than him. Another girl says that it's what she loves about her boyfriend, a loud, boistrous man who could clinically be ADHD. I look at my roommates and realise "Yes, The Dick is almost extremely awkward..."

This I discover during train conversation with Girl 2 who stands up near the door opposite me around-about Nundah Station area. Evidently, we came across a topic that I am loathe to discuss.
"So, Medway. Got a girlfriend yet?"
"No, I have not attained such a goal yet."
"I just don't understand why!"
"Because I'm not awkward enough, apparently."
"That is true, you are very comfortable with yourself."

This is awkward in itself.

Awkward?
Awkward is entering a conversation and breaking it into a flat jelly by making your contribution.
Awkward is shuffling your feet and not making eye contact with the person you're talking to, and keeping your eyes away from things that you shouldn't be looking at. Like Boobs.
Awkward is wearing suspenders with pants that go up past your naval, and Leather Slippers and walking up to the most beautiful girl you've ever known and offering her flowers so you can "see a movie sometime".
Awkward is like this. (Don't forget to read the mouse-over message)

Which brings me back to Girl 1: I'm more Awkward than her boyfriend?
"Yes, you are, because you're a nerd and you tell people that. It's very awkward."

But the secret is revealed!
Ladies, find your dorky little awkward boy who holds those flowers with nervous and sweaty palms.
Boys, learn to shuffle your feet and twist into the ground when you talk to girls.

Me? I'll just keep cruisin, since saying the word a few billionty times has made me lose meaning of the word.

03 November 2009

Liquorland Reciepts smell like Hazelnuts?

Work day 5
The days are long and it already feels like friday. The work is large and arduous and I take a few moments away to log my thoughts.
Yesterday was Melbourne Cup day. 2pm rolled around and, at the companies expense, a carton of beer and ten pizzas of varying flavours littered the dusty BBQ that we cleaned off. Wiping your hand on it makes it turn black, which means quite a lot of dust remains on what is believed to be a clean surface.
The office had a Sweep as well. One horse was scratched off and of all people, it had to be mine. My money was returned, but not my pride. ChangingOfTheGuard could've won, I could feel it in my bones. Apparently he had no chance, but I beg to differ.
The shock came when Shocking tore up the cluster of horses and bolted for the finish line. Justin, the organiser of the sweep, jumped up in excitement as his horse-out-of-a-hat more than tripled the money he put in.

Historical fancies
In the past I have made mention of my enjoyment of Sonic the Hedgehog. Recently during a lazy Google search, I came across another Sonic Cover group. http://www.projectchaos.info
The people at this site made a Sonic 3 and Knuckles Cover Album a few years ago, and I will say that it is much better than the Nails-on-the-blackboard recordings that "Mega Driver" came out with.
Another thing is "Project Needlemouse". Apparently the Sonic Team have heard the cries of too many people complaining about the various Sonic the Hedgehog games that have been made, noting that things are becoming much too crazy.
Have you ever tried to play "Sonic the Hedgehog" on the Xbox or PS3? The only real fault is the controls, which are touchier than a girl on her periods worrying about her hair.
So they are going back to school. Old School. 2D is making it's comeback and rumour has it that it will be in HD TV. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Needlemouse

Drawing and designs
I'm thinking of Fiddling around with the blog a little bit. Put up an interesting cornerpiece while keeping the ( * ) symbol going. Must download Paint Shop Pro again and start fiddling around.

01 November 2009

"Moms Girl Parts"

Yes, that's right. I picked up Borderlands. It's a hilarious sci-fi game set in a wasteland where people have gone crazy over hunting for a possible hidden treasure of ancient alien items on the planet of Pandora.

The residents are either bandits who have given up on finding the treasure and have simply accumulated power by beating the everloving crap out of people, or are residents who are content on living where they are. Then there's the treasure hunters, fools who wander about trying to find the secret of Pandora and die because they came across the wrong people in latex masks holding makeshift machettes, I.E. The Bandits.
The residents are friendly and honest. Like Scooter.
"Whooweee. That's more busted up than my moms girl parts! Thanks for having a poke at 'er. Uhh, the machine, not my mom. Hotdog down a skag den, if you know my sayin, hehe."
Very honest. It gets funnier.
"I really appreciate you goin out to save Lucky. He's a real close friend of the family. I.E. He's the asshole that busted up my moms girl parts. So if you could keep him alive long enough so that I can kill him myself, that'd be great."
Pure gold sincerity.

The game pays tribute to some legendary heros. Mad Mel and Bruce McClane are two examples that we, the boys and I, have come across.

The developers have not taken this game entirely seriously. Every major boss has a quick introduction screen,with them pulling off a pose while the background flashes their name and a quick note down the bottom. Such as:


As with every other game, there's always the cute character. Todays example is the c1ap-tp, aka: The Clap Trap. They're funny little square robots that look like Square bins at first, but they're very sentient and prone to outbursts of dancing to "UNST UNST UNST". They feature through the game with little quotes such as "I'm leaking! I'm leaking everywhere!" or "I can't breathe! It's only a recording of breathing! Breathing is not real!"
They even imitate heartbeat when they've fallen over with a storage deck beating out of it's chest.
And, of course, small icons of Clap Trap Caricatures are riddled everywhere in the menu. Highlight a medical item and the icon has a Clap Trap in a wig and nurses outfit. Highlight a Sniper Rifle, and he stands there with the rifle to his hip and a beret to one side. Celebration has a party hat and a party whistle being blown from his front vent.

I'm loving this game. It's frustrating at the moment because I'm needing a new Assault Rifle soon, but I've been finding everything BUT Assault Rifles. The item set through the game is mostly random, so finding a gun you want is a mission in itself.



Update: Another Tribute has been found!
Jaynis Kobb in Jaynistown!

23 October 2009

I want a Banana Pillow

A month has passed and everything has gone a little hectic. Relatives have expanded; Parties have been had; Contacts have been reestablished; Environments have changed; Friendships have become deeper; Social networks have been registered.
I'll start at the beginning, shall I?

Man I'm Spiffy


A week after Gencon, the sweet stink of social gaming still invading my senses, I decided to have another shower and hope that it might clear up for my cousins Wedding!
Luckily it did. I walked out as spiffy as a spring's morning and as suave as an English Spy. It was going to be a good night. My sister Rocked up and we Rolled. The Wedding was beautifully set in a little church on Latrobe Terrace. During the Ceremony, the priest made everyone take a pledge. It was a very respectful pledge.
"I will solemnly promise to eat and drink merrily, and be sociable to everyone I see, and have as much fun as possibe, on this amazing and beautiful day."
I made the promise and I had to keep it, else I ruined my cousins wedding! My hand was forced.
The photos were rather funny, actually. The plan was to have the family stand outside the church and a group family photo for each side of the family. Slowly everyone filtered out of the church and the photographer kept preparing herself to take the photo, but was interrupted by being informed that there were more still coming.
"Is that everyone?" the Cameralady asked in shock.
"Yes, I think it is," Nicole answered proudly.
"Wow..." She was impressed at the 30-ish people standing in front of her.
Afterwards my end of the family, who amounted to about 8 people including myself, took a drive into the city for a few drinks to pass the time until the reception.
With not being able to hear properly, because I become very near deaf around loud noises like pub speakers, I tried my best to play jokes with my uncle and aunties while downing the Sweet Strongbows so I can remove any apprehensions for later.
Time for the Reception came and we walked the distance to the Roma Street Parklands, where people were already socializing and enjoying the open ambiance of the Melange Restaurant.
The downside? Dust Storm. It wasn't a bad storm, but it was bad enough to eliminate sight to about 100m in the dark when you peered out into the night past the glass doors of the now closed off Restaurant.
Drinks were sloshed and the music pumped, the Medways danced up the front and disowned me as I pulled out the Running Man and some other move that crosses legs over and over... I was classy, and looks Spiffy while I was at it.
Following through with the pledge at the Ceremony, I spoke with some of Nicoles adopted family, people that she has met and placed as what could only be described as Family. I have long since forgotten their names (I have a memory for names like water through a sieve) but they were lovely people and I understand why Nicole has them around.
Seeing Nicole briefly brought a revelation that I would never have contemplated.
"This... is my aunty wendy... Did you know... That she's like... Like your second aunty now?"
Favourite quote of the night.
The party wound down and I departed with my sister home, only to see her the next night at Trents place for a very relaxing, and satisfying, Medway Family dinner.
Good times all round.

The next week was uneventful. I think I played Killzone 2 all day Saturday. Sunday was the Ritual of seeing Mum. We made the trek to the movies and found there was nothing available for us to actually go see. Very disappointing. Wandering around, mother put a watch on layby because she finally found one that she could read without having to put on her glasses.
There wasn't more to it than that. We went back to Mums place and watched movies and downloaded things onto my PS3.

Week 3 peered around and it was nearly time for my roommate Mccarthy, who is also named Matt, to move to Toowoomba. I was sick, and had spent the better part of the week in bed with a Cold and serial dehydration. At least, that is my opinion of what happened.
So we went down to the Little Tokyo Restaurant to celebrate his leaving. A little over a dozen people arrived and ordered, only to have half of them leave after waiting 45 minutes for dinner. The dinner was different and very satisfying.
Afterwards, we toddled off into down to start drinking, crossing the valley to get to a bar that I've forgotten the name on the other side to see Chelsea and Badger.
Badger isn't his real name. It's Matt.
On a side note, there are enough Matthews in the world that someone could declare genocide.
Mccarthy burst into laughter upon seeing Chelsea. This woman came to the valley in a floral dress made from someone's curtains, high leg stockings that stopped at the bottom of the dress skirt, hair that seemed to explode like dull red sparklers, and to top it off: A Paper Mache Budgie sitting in a hat which apparently cost $150, preventing her from coming to dinner.
It was the funniest thing Mccarthy had ever seen.
I ended up leaving a little early due to feeling a little more sick and took the train home. Along the way, I was texting Dee and made a mistake. I was preparing a fresh text and put in the wrong name. Panicking, I pushed the wrong button and it sent off to Danika. I didn't bother to apologise since she wasn't talking to me at the time.
Lo and behold, we texted for a little bit before I nodded off to sleep for the mornings festivities of Monsterpocalypse.

The Tuesday Mccarthy left, The Dick and Mel moved into Mccarthys room faster than a man after a Hot Curry. I was surprised. So the wednesday after, i spent my time moving my stuff into The Dick and Mel's old room. Now I like to say "I can spread out both arms and not touch the walls".
It's nice to have a new room. For about 2 weeks it was sorted into nice stacks of books, DVD's, gadgets and a mountain of random clothing. The PS3 and TV were mounted at the end of my bed and the computer was left alone until the room was eventually reorganised the other night.
Now everything is set up and I await the power boards to the computer, ps2, ps3, tv, logitec speakers, phone charger and psp charger to both explode.
I'm quite proud at how organised my room is. The only mess are the dirty clothes strewn across the floor.

The next party occurred at my house. As mentioned, I had been talking alot to Dee and she wanted to come round for a piss up. I said sure and we set it for Saturday night. I told Mel that Dee was coming over and she became excited and invited a few more people over, who were ultimately Euro Kim and Alex. I call her Euro Kim because she gets called American too much for even my liking. She has an odd accent.
Halfway through the week, I recieve a message: "Hey hun i can't make it this saturday because of a family thing, sorry."
I was devastated. I hadn't seen Dee in yonks and a piss up with her was going to be awesome! But nooo, family is more important apparently.
The day rolled around and Mel kept the plans to have the party anyway with just the Dick, Euro Kim and Alex and I having a bbq and drinking.
About 3 in the arvo, I get another SMS. I'm a textaholic, by the way.
"Hey what are you doing tonight?"
"Well your piss up is still on"
"Right. I'm coming over."
The night was entertaining. It segregated itself a little bit, going between the girls and the boys. The Dick and Alex were playing Need for Speed: Shift on my PS3 that I threw into the lounge room so they could have a game or two; the girls stayed downstairs around the table and barbeque to rabble on about whatever floated their boats at the time.
Side note: I learnt that saying ages ago, and I was appalled that when I was playing WoW one day and said it, someone felt the necessity to point out that it was an analogy about getting pussy juiced up. I didn't appreciate that and still don't. "Sex Fucks Things Up."

The night rounded off drunkenly and rolled into the hungover morning. The Ritual with Mum was on again! The movie of choice: Mao's Last Dancer.
It's hard to choose a word appropriate for it, but "Moving" is a good choice in my opinion.
I cried at the end. I admit it. I have no shame. Watch it and you'll probably understand, unless you're a heartless bastard who hasn't been paying attention because it's a "chick flick".
Mother and I revelled in the humble contemplation that the film left us in.
Dropping by the jewellery store, mother went to pay and pick up her watch and dropped off the shears that she has been meaning to get sharpened. Whenever I get my hair cleared off, the word "ow" is becoming more and more repeated, so it was about time that after 10 or so years she had them sharpened.
Recently I'd been of the desire to attain a pocket watch. Something cool to fiddle with, because I have a habit to fiddle with things. The only thing better than a pocket watch would be a ring that I would like to wear. I found both of these things at Chermside. The pocket watch at the jewellers, a plain silver pocket watch with a clean case and simple face. The ring in the aisle store not far from Target. Several rings there were to my preference, actually.
However, size was a problem. I have what my mother likes to call "Piano Fingers", long and slender fingers. Out of all the rings that I was keen on, none were of size P or Q (I have forgotten the exact size that I preferred. The only way to get a ring of my preference from there was to have it sent through with custom sizing.
With the ring exempted as an immediate choice, we toddled back to the Jewellery store and had a look at the pocket watch again. A 2-for-1 deal was available. Mother chooses two items from the same brand, and the cheaper of the two is free. After about fifteen minutes of picking out watches and my legs aching with hangover exhaustion, mother came out with a new watch and a pocket watch for myself.
However, the visit was short lived. I was very exhausted and Mum knew I wanted to sleep. The couch which I usually have a Nap on is far from comfortable, so I opted to go home and pass out. She agreed and I thanked her very much for the gift before shambling into the house and passing out on my bed.

We're up to the last week, where still nothing exciting happened except for: Last night.
I met Dee about this time last year. Actually, it was about a year and 3 weeks ago. I even said happy anniversary the other week (Awww).
We started talking and then things happened and we all but forgot about each other for a while until I invited her over to a party months ago.
We cracked it off again and have been texting on and off since, with my very random updates on life such as "My train smells like Mint Sauce" (True story).
She turns up last night at about 6:30 to present Mels new hair to me. Amazing work, I say. Dee is a great hairdresser. She had to go quickly because another client was waiting at the shop for her, which was fair enough. I sent her a message teasing that I didn't recieve any love (A cuddle, in my terms) and didn't think much more on it later.
I get a call at 8:30:
"Oh harro"
"OH harro"
"OH harRO"
"Oh HARRO!"
"Haha. I was coming back to the shop to pick something up, and I remembered that you whinged about not being loved. So I thought I'd stop by."
I wasn't going to stop her. I like vistors. It's residents I can't stand.
Turns out she's in a very awkward situation. Three guys are hopelessly in love with her! AND she has a boyfriend that she is hopelessly in love with! And none of those three guys are me!
Boy 1: She met him last year and hooked up while she was single. They had a thing going for a while, but she broke it off when she went back to Alex, the beau. Boy1 had his own girlfriend, who he is apparently still obsessed with. The thing he wants from Dee is pretty much 'Free access to the party'.
Boy 2: She met him last year and made out with him. He fancied her at the time and brought it up to her, but she knocked him back. Since then, they have been really good friends. At the party last week, he tried to make a move, but Dee said "No, I'm with Alex and I'm not going to do that." Since then he has apparently been Mopey about it.
Boy 3: She met him through Boy2 and didn't find any attraction in him. They were good mates since. Saturday night, she made mention about hanging out with some of her girl friends and he took it the wrong way, sending her lewd text messages about "joining in on the fun". Repeatedly mentioning that it's becoming inappropriate isn't doing anything.
In the end, because of the piss up at my place, all this bullshit has put her in an awkward situation because they're all good mates to her but they're giving her all the wrong attention. The Attention she wants is from the Beau, and he doesn't seem to give a damn.
"Boys are stupid!" she declared as she curled up with my sad excuse for a pillow.
"Girls are stupid too!"
"No we're not!"
"Yes they are when they hang around with a stupid hope that some bastard will come back to her."
"... Oh yeah, I did that once..."
So that has been my five weeks of absence, in 2,446 words.

08 October 2009

Earthworm Jim might be in Trouble



Mollok Berserker
Spd 5
Def 2
Brawl 2*1
Rage
Riled
Berserk (Red)
Jump
Groundbreaker
Spd 6
Def 2
Brawl 2
Pathfinder (Red)
Flank
Burrow


These are two units mentioned in the latest Monsterinsider Blog. It seems that Monsterpocalypse NOW! is going for a All-in-brawl theme for the Uprising. Cool, I say. First thing is first: Use my Oil Refinery. These guys have pretty good Speed stats, so why not kick it up a notch and get them to run faster and reach my nefarious opponents quicker. Maybe even get some taskmasters in on the action. They may not be as maneuverable as the rest of the faction, but Motivator and a good Brawl stat with Fling aren't something to be shunned entirely.

So lets have a look at the Mollok Berserker. First thing that comes to mind is "Power Producer". He gets hit, you gain a Power Die. He hits, you gain two Power Die. He's also a great support for Mollok Squads with his Red Berserk ability. His Brawl stat gives him a good chance of hitting Def 3. Another Berserker in a combined attack increases chances to hitting Def 5 fairly soundly. And the same time, you gain a Power Dice.
The downside? A poor Defence stat. So the Berserker won't be inclined to secure buildings in the middle of the field unless they stand for sacrificial reasons. If a group of Berserkers were lined across the middle of blockwars, it's a win-win situation. If they stay, you're securing buildings and have brawlers available for an assault where you gain Power Dice. If they are destroyed you gain Power Dice for each of them.

So that's a simple run down of the Mollok Berserker. Lets move on to the Groundbreaker.
This Massive Mole has nothing to do with short denim skirts, dodgy pink boob tubes, and a voice that can rot plants with the amount of cussing that appears in each sentence, or even for the darkening lump that turns up on the end of witches noses, but actually has more to do with the adorable little animals that dig underground with their massive and sharp claws to chow down on invertibrates, like worms.
At least, that's what the figure looks like. The fellow shows some rather average stats. A good speed with Burrow gives him the manueverability that Mole People should have, although it doesn't entirely make sense to poke his nose out of the water and say he's fine when he's obviously not wearing any Floaties.
That's unsafe, you know.
But with his maneuverability comes an Action:
Pathfinder—Roll the A-Die used to pay for this action. If you roll 1 or more strikes, crush 1 enemy unit within 2 spaces of this figure. Do not gain a P-Die for crushing it. If you crush a unit with this ability, advance this figure up to 2 spaces even if it has advanced this turn.
The Smarmy bugger dives under the poor sod and sinks him before popping up somewhere else! It's an entertaining thought.
But here's a twist: It is Red. It can be applied to your Fiendish Monster. So a monster steps over at the aggrivating little Carnidon (it's always a Carnidon) and crushes him underfoot before moving on.
Granted, crushing a Carnidon doesn't serve much aside from making a mess on the underside your feet, but it's the notion that the monster is crushing something that is important.
Returning back to the subject at hand, this gives the Groundbreaker more maneuverabilty for when he makes his brawl attack, an attack that isn't particularly exceptional. When paired up, they can take advantage of Flank on their individual attacks, but still lack a little bit of UMPH when fielded with a Berserker and a Groundbreaker Elite (if there is one, I haven't seen any mention yet and I won't be sure until tonight).
So in conclusion, the Groundbreaker is a maneuverable support unit, giving a lowered Defence for all Brawlers. But I'm thinking I prefer a Cthulubite...

06 October 2009

Ménage à huit

Robin: Holy positional multitude, Batman! Eight people on a gigantic plastic mat?
Batman: Sounds like a recipe for Innuendo, if you ask me!
Robin: Sounds like a good time to me!
The Gencon Indy Monster Mash presented an 8 player field. The photos of it look awesome!
I counted about 34 spaces wide, but I lost count of the length at about 40 spaces.
The field was littered with what wouldn't surprise me to be over 150 buildings over 200 buildings.
Overall the design of the map was made to impersonate New York, the city of the Statue of Liberty, which naturally had that structure placed in the very centre of the field in the midst of a river.

But enough of things that are far from my own availability
This weekend coming is the weekend of "ALL YOU CAN EAT!".
I'm quite excited in case you couldn't tell.
Everyone will be running around throughout the day with their forces, trading forces and monsters here and there, and possibly bringing in some fresh faces.
It'll be very good.

Last night, Scotty and I met a new player. His name is Kevin. He's a nice fellow and keen to play, asking lots of questions about the game and the locals and what monsters are being used. I was honest and told him that our gaming group is fairly even with hardly any 'power-gamers', which is true. We all play what we like, or whatever has come out at the time in my case, and we're very lenient on everyone's style of play.
We had a game and he pulled out his Martians, with Phobos-7 leading the fray, and I pulled out Mogroth (I wanted to go really easy on the fellow) to give him a explanation of the rules and how the game goes. The poor fellow was having some bad dice rolls, however. Three of four turns, he was unable to get a successful Power-up roll,

On the same night, I found out that Monpoc NOW! will be coming out this Friday (9th) and our local store has the Mega King Kondo's available! The deal is that you buy a case of each and you get a Mega King Kondo!
Huzzah!
So soon there will be unit and monster reviews-slash-mockups here for the Subterran Uprising.
In related news, we figured out what the Morpher is for the "Empire of the Apes" in series 6.
Four Monkeys, brought together by a strong truce with the empire, they bring fear and disruption to the world.

They are... a Barrel of Monkeys.