Time for Plan B

D&D for the boys and I always has the potential to become a rather uneventful gathering. Aaron, our Dungeon Master, is a sparky and works some odd jobs, sometimes out at Gympie until late at night on a saturday, or maybe he'll be down at Melbourne.

So whilst awaiting our conductors arrival one night, trying to occupy ourselves by playing Xbox, or DS, or Laptop, we came to a decision for a Contingency Plan, something to play if he calls in late. We threw a few impotent ideas around until I suggested a Board game.

We didn't really know many board games, so I threw out the Starcraft or Warcraft board games since I had the two games on the brain. But a few weeks later, Scott and I were at Fastbreak and thought now was a good time to pick a board game to play, something that could accept 3 players and take a fair while to actually play.

Talisman is one we knew about since Scotty and I played that when we attended Cancon a few years ago. Disco and some of his friends we were staying with had Talisman and so we played into the wee hours of the morning having Death chase us all around the board. Sadly, we saw Talisman there, but it was only an expansion which doesn't double as a stand-alone.

After I suggesting a few other choices, such at Settlers and Robo-rally, Paul suggested Castle Ravenloft and gave us a Demo of it. To put it simply, it's a Random Dungeon Generator where your heros (there's up to 5 heros) are sent through to complete a quest, such as retrieve an item from an Alter or defeat certain monsters.

It's cool. It's playing D&D when we can't Play D&D! To boot, they have an expansion coming out next year, so we won't get bored with this very quickly. And we can swap between 5 heros as well: Dragonborn Fighter, Eladrin Wizard, Human Ranger, Dwarf Cleric and Tiefling Rogue (I think I actually have this wrong).

Now all I have to do is find/make a Barbarian and I'm set...

Neon and Spandex – You know what I'm talkin 'bout

Now it may be strange that I'm showing a picture of a guy about to fly kick you in the head... or his conveniently inconspicuous crotch bulge, whatever takes your curiosity more... but this is Rinzler, an awesome character (Even if he is a bad guy) for Tron Legacy.

Kel and I saw it last night to still get a bit of nerd on, and it was awesome! The Neon, the Spandex, the Hot babes (Olivia Wilde played the most adorable character) and the Fight Scenes! Even the music! (Apparently the entire score was done by Daft Punk - Who also made a cameo - which made me larf) It's almost good enough for you to make your own costume!



Or Maybe not.

The only real problem I have with the movie is that while they had to CG YOUNG Jeff Bridge's Head for a few scenes, it was still a little off. You know how in comedy shows they replace original clips with someone elses head, and it just doesn't seem right with the body? That's what happened on a small scale. Oh, and I swear his eyebrows never moved.

It wasn't enough to put me off though. I watched the movie, enjoying sights like the Solar Sailor, the new Light Cycles and other Light Vehicles, oh and the Recognisers look very cool with updated graphics.

There's only one thing I have to say to conclude this.

Shut up and go see Tron: Legacy.

Avatars of War

Site Link

Don't really know how I came across this site but the models in here are pretty sweet. My problem is that there's a little too much emphasis on dual weilding. But they're still awesome looking. Though there's mention of game rules, but I can't find them fort he life of me. *Shrug* Google searches later.

http://www.avatars-of-war.com/eng/web/images/minis/aow24/aow24_blister.jpg

12 Months

I'm reading a book at the moment called Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett. It's a wonderful book that plays on the subject of chronology, AKA: Time. The story explains that humans affect time much more than they actually think, quite clumsily at that, but humans make time, lose time, waste time, etc, without even thinking about it until they question it a little later.

Just quickly, I thought I'd better put this quote: Ah, yes. A pune, or a play on words. I see.

I don't know if I've been wasting my time, or just losing it, because the past twelve months have gone so quickly it's like one of my paper aeroplanes which have the flying capabilities of a dodo. This is me being flippant, of course. Truly I make useless planes.

The last 12 months have been wonderful, though they've passed so quickly. I have met many people, made an arse of myself several times, and cruised along happily head over heels with a very special someone. Things could be better, yes, but that's only because we haven't gotten that one way plane ticket yet.

At the time of this writing, about 2 weeks beforehand, I plan to have this schedule to post in the evening of our anniversary in the USA, which will be the morning after on AUS time. By that time, she should have received a bouquet of Roses at her workplace.

I love you Jennicki.

I keep on Wondering. See what I did there?

So with more thinking about the player characters and their encounters, I was thinking of having an Anti-party which the players would come up against every so often. And because the campaign is themed around killing Dragons, when I came across this I figured it to be an awesome figure for the anti-party leader.

It's a pretty sweet model, I reckon. I may change the shield, but the sword is awesome!

But there's also NPC's that are part of the story. The Players get to run around with a Paladin. So after a little bit of searching for a Sword and Shield Warrior, i found this one: http://www.reapermini.com/OnlineStore/paladin/sku-down/14508

Game on!

Plan de Scion En détail

So the thoughts of a Physical World map made of Hexagon pieces has just flowed through my mind with awesome and I got descripts after descripts. So far it's down to either 13 pieces with detachables, or 18 pieces to alternate other pieces.

Lets start with the Lake, where the players start and attend quite a few times. Its story is that over the lake itself is a cloud that never goes away. It just rains and rains and just doesn't stop. Secretly on top, there's a castle where hides a dragon and a small village. And secretly the castle and cloud are a veil to cover the actual castle and the village, which are on an island in the middle of the lake.

So I could have 3 alternate pieces: Lake with Cloud; Lake with Castle on Cloud; Castle on lake. Or I can have detachable pieces on top of the base: Raining Cloud; The castle on the cloud; the Real castle on the island.

Then there's the main city and the tunnel. They could have two pieces each, or I can have the city itself and the tunnel be replacable on the base. There's the castle as well which the players visit at least twice, which I can keep a wide fortress on the base itself, and get an extension to make it taller for the next time the players attend it.

Otherwise pieces are a one time thing. The labyrinth, the pagoda, the pirate ship, the seafaring town, the Desert (How can one change the desert short of destroying a freakin pyramid?), the mountains, the caves, and the island. Oh and the Swamp, can't forget the swamp. That'll be an awesome level.

Hey Look!

I found the original map for "Wonder Boy in Monsterland".

I can say now, I'm not going to use that as a reference.

It's that time.

Is it that time of the year again? Why yes, yes it is. It's time to play “lets pick on Playstation!”

I had a laugh the other day as I was going through Kotaku.com.au. They had an article about an old Playstation 3 Console that had a letter to the next purchaser of the second hand model. The note wrote how the console was a massive waste of time and that the current purchaser should by an Xbox360.

It's times like these that I larf to myself. The Playstation 3 isn't all bad though. It's more buck for your bang, that's true. But I am always finding uses for it. Like playing movies and tv shows from my laptop to it. A network setup and some shared media and BAM! We have TV on the PS3.

It's easy to do and there are few reasons it won't work. You can even download a free program to your computer that will allow you to play, what would be normally, unrecognised file formats.

You can even access the internet on the PS3 because it has its own Web Browser! You can check your favourite Youtube videos; check your facebook or twitter; Heck, if I plugged a mouse and keyboard in I could type up this blog from it.

My only problem? Well, the visual display format. You see, I have poor eyesight. I suffer from Myopia (Short Sight for those at home) and so from the distance of more than about half a metre from my face things get to be a bit blurry. But that's not the problem.

It's the TV. The TV I have access to is a CRT from about four or 5 year ago. I can't complain about it because 1: It's not my TV; 2: It's better than my TV; 3: I tossed out my TV because it was killing my eyes.

So having a nice crisp picture would be nice to have. So why not use my monitor?

To Summarise: “Nup”. I tried a few different methods. HDMI to DVI, being the first. It's supposed to work, but no. Then there wasHDMI to VGA. Apparently that was a Scam. Then I tried Composite to VGA. That was a scam too. I only lost about $15 out of it, so I have a strangling cord now and something to use as tentacles for something. Next attempt is going to be a Component to VGA. After some research, it should work. SHOULD.

Why am I going through this instead of simply getting the “PS3/Wii VGA” cord, like I did my Xbox with it's “360 VGA Cord”? Well I want to hook my PSP and PS2 as well. Mostly the PSP, because I have games on it I want to play but my neck doesn't like looking down at my lap for too long and I get headaches. I still have to upgrade my PSP, but that isn't too much of a hassle.

I also want to play my PS2 games as well, because I miss them so much. I want to play Ratchet and Clank again. I want to try and finish GT4 and FFXII. I want to play Sonic 3 and Knuckles again. And I can't do this with my PS3 because the ponces haven't done anything about it except this:



Click here for more info

Seriously. I'd love this. But FUCK knows when it'll come around. I still have my really old PS2 sitting next to my computer waiting to be used, to be enjoyed like the old days.

But time will tell whether Playstation will do it. I have hope, but it's about knee high to my nephew.

Globe of Conflict Design – Disaster

You know? If you put that into Acronym, you get GoCD. Go Card. I see a pattern emerging.

Yes, I am back into WoW. It's been a good... two years?... since I majorly got into WoW. Last time was around Xmas time again, and for a whole week I just went ahead and played my little heart out and got myself to 79. Since then, it hasn't been too... appealing.

But secretly, I have been waiting for Cataclysm to happen. The world gets a change and it's all for the better. The game before was wide spread, and it would take such a long time just to get to level 20. You were proud to get to 20! But now after a few nights, I got to level 25 and the quests just haven't stopped. Half the game is played FOR you by travelling to destinations for you, especially if they're across the map.

This is a good idea. And to top of it off, you get your first mount at level 20. This is awesome. That's old hat, I know, but this is still awesome because it gets those quests done a little quicker. Not to mention, if you're levelling through dungeons, then you've got a quick way of getting to the dungeons. Especially for higher levels since you can just fly around now!

The worst, and what I believe to be the stupidest, thing I've had happen in WoW was quite a while ago when I was running up a new character and I was about level 35 and going through Scarlet Monastary, going off to take on the bigger bosses to get some gear. We killed off the pair of them, as hard as it was, and it came to picking up the special gear they had dropped.

Now for those who don't know, there's a Need/Greed system that the game opts for rare items. You click on Need if you do actually Need it, and Greed if you don't need it. Then when everyone's done, the computer does an automatic % roll to see who gets it, highest number wins. If there's anyone who Needs it, they roll off and the Greed people don't get a chance. It's a group effort as well to say if you need the item or not.

Now this is usually aimed at small dungeon crawls, when there's about 5 people in the party. It'll end up being a easy discussion and you can always run the dungeon again almost straight afterwards and try again. And if you don't get it? Well you were only going to keep that weapon for 5 or 10 levels before you found something better.

At raid level, the Raid Leader can set the system to only give an item to a particular person at his/her discretion. Before it was integrated into the game, the system was that everyone cancelled the Need/Greed and just discuss it. There was no control and some people would just nick it anyway. So now that the Raid Leader has control, it's a new ball game.

This wasn't the case. We weren't in a raid. And the Party Leader didn't turn on the Leader's discretion system (It has a name, fucked if I remember what it is). So out of habit, I rolled Greed. I figured the priest would roll Need and get priority, and he'd need it more than me because it was somewhat designed for him.

But everyone opted out. They wanted to discuss who got the item, and when I won the roll (Because I was the only one rolling), they kicked up a huge stink about how I was being inappropriate and how they were going to spread word about how I was rude to other players. I tried explaining to them that they should've just rolled Need, but nooo, they couldn't do that. That'd just be silly. So they buggered off, /ignored me and I turned off my computer. It was late anyway.

Otherwise it's been fun. And now in this reformed world, I'm doing the Protection Warrior again and enjoying every moment of it. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Azshara has been remade into an awesome early-levellng zone and includes a Goblin Rocket Road!

Oh my little Orc with a Weapon and Shield. How much fun we shall have.

It's a Wonder

So i caught myself thinking about a Dnd campaign which i'm basing off of Wonder boy "in monster land" and "the dragons trap", and ghouls and ghosts. I've got it all basically figured out, where the characters have to progress and how the world interacts with them. I even figured out how to solve the transformation connundrum i had going for a while.

But i had a bit of trouble figuring out the map. I drew it in different ways but only one form was i actually happy with, and it evolved/devolved into something like a grid. I even had it figured out in Excel, where i just had names and arrows to where they were.

Recently Humph has been making his brother a birthday present. His brothers favourite game is Settlers of Catan and the game is played on a large set of Hexagons.

That got me to thinking. What if i asked humph to show me how he made his pieces and i'll make some up based on my dnd campaign? I know he used some casting resin, but it's what he cast them from that's important.

I also want to get a whiteboard for Dnd. And i don't mean a pissy little thing for putting on the table. I mean one of the roller whiteboards you see at school. So i get some magnets in the bottom of the pieces and i have a map that won't need to be remade every week because it'll be stuck to the whiteboard.

Now we generally use grids for our maps so i sent an enquiry to the local whiteboard people asking if they could bake lines into the boards, and if they could make modifications or not. Yes and no respectively. So when i one day make myself this board, not to mention have room for it, i'll have some awesome plans.

At least i reckon they'd be awesome.

I should buy a cape. And Spandex.

"Lab camilla and stav are at shops ... go and get on radio !"
"I'm on my way"

You'd think nobody would be that excited about getting me anywhere near a public venue, but that's Tim for you. She got excited when i was in the newspaper, twice no less in the "Ask the public" boxes near the front of the newspaper, and i'm pretty sure i told her about how i was on a kids game show when i was 11.

I remember that being hard fought, since one of the other girls thought she was chosen to go on the show. We even had a competition, the teacher (because i can't remember her name for the life of me) had us all answering trivia questions and me, daniel and Cassandra (i think) won the entire thing. Then came game day and Sarah was arguing that she was captain of the team, but i argued with her and eventually won (i think it was another competition) and because sarah was so upset the tv staff gave her a shirt to make up for it.

Then I looked at the prizes and it was either a bunch of CDs or a pair of Sketchers, so i opted to get sketchers. I needed new shoes, and these were better than the dunlop brand mum got all the time. Sadly they were stolen from me when i left them outside the door of the after school care centre for a few minutes one day. Still pissed about that.

The Newspaper however was intimidating to say the least. If it wasn't bad enough that i got caught in a corner, i was caught by a hottie (sorry jen) and her cameraman (who looked a little like Wes Carr). They asked me "what do i do different for winter" and they laughed with me as i attempted a funny joke and had my photo taken.

About 2-4 weeks later, the big boss emails the office a quote about staying at home for lack of confidence issues, and asking who it was. Totally misquoted, but who's going to argue with a brick shithouse?

I can hardly remember the second time i was in the paper but it was the same deal, different rag, worse picture.

Now's my chance to be on radio. But do i want to be on B105?

Lan Oh Lan

It's been a while since i went to a LAN. For those who aren't in the know, a LAN is a set up of a number of computers so that they can play against each other. And there are places in the city that do it too, a place I used to attend on occasion called the Bunker. It's still there too, running strong, with quite a few people playing WoW, or some other game with someone across in another building.

I loved it, and when I did go it wasn't for a piddly hour or something. My mates and I would go and play for 24 hours, give or take half an hour for eating and catching the sunrise. And we would play games all night, and morning until we caught the train or taxi home, only to crash on whatever we landed on. It was exhausting, but it was fun.

One day I may do it again soon. Maybe next year? I'll gather as many people as possible to meet up at the bunker, and game on until the next morning. We'd start at 6pm and end at 6pm over a weekend. We may even jump off for a little while to have a drink or two at the ManaBar.

Actually, that'd be kinda fun. start off at midday, stop around 9 to check out the Manabar and have a few drinks, probably Jagerbombs or B52's (I really want to have another one), and then come back and play some more into the next morning and head home at 12. Or go back to the Manabar, because I think it opens around that time.

I think I may be obsessed with the Manabar. It's a cool digs! It'd be cool if they could expand the size of the actual bar! (If they haven't already that is).

But yes, maybe that'll be my plan for next year.

My First Space Marine

So I was going to have a little photo joke about "my Firsts", you know those things little kids have for when they go potty training or hold their own bottle. No, couldn't find it so I've decided to dive right into it.

Well playing Deathwatch has given me the right... No, the DUTY... to paint a space marine character for myself. Blood Angel tactical marine. Fair enough. Now my friends are artistic, so the model doesn't go in the bare essentials. No, he has pockets, a holster with pistol, a mark of honour, backpack and his pair of bolters.

why two bolters? Cos I said so.

On top of that, he doesn't get the standard base that WH40k offer to put your models on. He gets a resin designer base, one tailored to 40k.

And after painting it up with what paints I have, i came up with this.



I think it was a pretty good job, considering I only have a few paints (With way too many greys than I'd like to discuss) and not a very good eye for taste.

Now as for the model itself... well being a blood angel I have to paint him red. I have had way too much experience with Red. So i think I did a good job with it. Although I haven't done his belt. I just have no idea what colour to paint it.



I reckon he'll go down well with the crowd.

Containment Breach

Sometimes you think of something a little ridiculous. Something that you would never do because A: You can't afford it; B: it's just not a viable list; or C: it's not worth it in the long run.

But that doesn't mean it's not a cool list. And this is such a list.

Points: 100
Model Count: 130
Tier: 2
Chieftain Madrak Ironhide
^ Troll Axer
^ Troll Bouncer
^ Troll Impaler
Kriel Stone Bearers (Max)
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper (Free)
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper
Kriel Warriors (max)
^ Caber Thrower (3)
^ Standard Bearer and Piper

It's so ridiculous that it could work out to be awesome.

So what next?

Well after thinking about writing articles every week or so, like I originally planned with this blog, I have given up on that and have thought to keep going with sporatic updates of whatever model I have worked on recently. Frankly, the Warmachine posts I've made so far are so bloody long winded and I'm starting to lose traction with them.

Recently with a friend we've started playing a Deathwatch Campaign, a WH40k RPG, and to go with the flow I'm going to be painting up a character. Our friend Humphrey is making up a model for me of a Tactical Marine with 2 Bolters in hand. Because we're not playing very seriously we all have funny accents, and because the easiest description of a Blood Angel is a Vampire, I've gone with Count Von Count (From Sesame Street, Ah Ah Ahhh).

I'll laugh if Humph moulds Count von Counts head onto the model.

I also want to paint up some other models to match up with him, like Vehicles, and a Dreadnaught, a War bike... Stuff like that, ya know?

Otherwise, other 40k model projects pretty much come down to Bupkiss as I'm going to be painting the Deathwatch Model and the Squiggoth. Ideas however expand on the Squiggoth Howdah by adding a platform to add a Helipad for a Deffkopta. Or a Chinork. Heck, take off the two balconies on the side, extend them down and have a pair of side trays to hold War bikes or Deff koptas.

I best stop this before I start spending money I don't have. On an upside, if I want an Ork Warboss on a Warbike, I can just go out and get a Halo Brute Chopper and convert that up. Apparently they're not too bad to scale. Though it would need a bigger rear engine. And it's cheap and easy to get!

Anyway. I should start painting up my other figures, like my Winterguard. I've wanted to paint them for ages, and I mean paint them properly. I don't have a properly painted unit of Winterguard, they're all in a shambles really. And they require a Kommander, so I should paint up Sorscha as well. I have a plastic battlebox model so even more reason.

Easier still are the two Destroyers I want to paint up. I discovered the other week a photo of a guy who painted a greyscale Wroughthammer Rockram. I want to use that as a reference to paint up a Destroyer in the same style (though certainly nowhere near as good).

There's also the Diorama I want to do based on Gudrun the Wanderer. I don't have any of the bits or pieces of terrain, but the idea basically Gudrun goes out to challenge what/whoever to kill him. Because... well that's his fluff. There's a good series of challenges too.

The first of which should be Gudrun scaring a little girl (The little girl from the Nightmare Model). That one would be a focus on Gudrun himself, really. I want to paint him up much like the Andrea Uderzo illustration in his first appearance (I think it was Evolution?). And then any further dioramas will use the same model (I'll magnetise his feet) but have different 'challenges'.

There's some good Warjack and Warbeast ones that I want to chuck him up against, like scrapping several Warjacks in an Arena, or facing up against 3 Titans in the middle of a desert (This one would include my Gladiator Extreme, a normal Gladiator and a Bronzeback – I reckon that'd be an epic diorama).

We'll see how I go getting that off the ground.

One way ticket

So the concept of going to Mars is an interesting one. You fly to Mars and you try and colonise it. Never mind the alien culture that hides underground surviving off the lush resources of water and fungus that grow in their caverns that are heated by air conditioners designed to cover square Kilometres of tunnels with heat.

It's okay though. It'll be over hyped within their culture when an alien space ship lands on the surface, spotted by Astrologists and conspiracy theorists who are renting a heated rock on the surface.

Then the Humans will do one of two things: They'll play it smart and make peaceful negotiations with Societies most Prestigious (Those closest to the heating device) or they'll use whatever weapons they have to shoot the Martians down, the same Martians who made Fungal Brownies and covered them in Glad wrap.

The Aliens will be confused and will simply try and shoot them down while the humans try and figure out a way to save humanity by destroying the heating core and having the Martians suffer in the cold... Or move out to a different region, since that's the backup plan for their species.

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves

http://www.news.com.au/technology/sci-tech/nasa-mars-mission-a-one-way-trip/story-fn5fsgyc-1225945124330

Order 7:17 for Roma Street

"G'day ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Think Tank-"

"Uh, sir? I believe the ladies don't quite like the name of Think Tank."

"What are you talking about, son?" the Manager groans.

"Well, sir, the ladies may find it a bit Aggressive, provoking anger into the group."

The oval of staffers that occupy the meeting room all stared at him blankly before returning to the Manager, who stared at the Quiet fellow with a strain in his eyes that could herd cattle, send them to the abattoirs, be sent to a four star restaurant, only to be eaten by the same person who will claim that the meat is too tangy.

"And what would be your suggestion," he said as he argued with the waiter.

"Well, I believe Thought Bubble would be more appropriate," he said a little triumphantly.

Now the Quiet fellow was a happy little chap and likes to do things for the whole, such as find a more efficient tap for the staff kitchen, or maybe reorganise someones desk for them. But after working for long enough within the same position, he has found less for himself with little to do aside from keeping the staff kitchen clean and sending emails asking if there's anything they would like him to help with. Unfortunately, the Manager happened to ask once for help lifting up a desk so he could get his favourite pen out from underneath, and now everyone has placed bets on when the manager will snap under pressure.

The second half of November seems to get high praise, and the kitty has gotten to $131.16 and a half franc.

"Right," the Manager says to keep some semblance of motion going. "To keep our female members of staff happy, this meeting will begin.

"Last meeting we thought of ways to keep some of our customers happy by introducing the Quiet Carriage,"he says as he flips through the folder in front of him. "This is successful enough, with a few complaints saying that nobody has really followed the courtesy, and a handful complaining about the drivers being too loud on overheads and disrupting customers anyway, some at inappropriate times, and one complaint about the stupidity of having an open transition between carriages because it doesn't actually stop the bother that the Quiet Carriage is meant to prevent."

"Well they have a point," agrees the ex-bikie. "Those open doorways are pretty silly."

"But they provide a much nice walk between carriages!" says the Quiet fellow. "They're better than those grimy doors that's usually there that kids are always smoking pot in."

"Yes, well," the manager interrupts. "The quiet carriage is staying for a little while longer, but that's not what we're here for today. We're here to brainstorm some new ways to entice people to take trains more often."

"Well, the colour scheme isn't exactly the most appealing," mumbled a geriatric at the back of the room.

"That isn't going to change,"the ex-bikie responds. "We only just got a new style with that bloody red stripe and range of trains."

"Exactly, we should do something more attractive than that," exclaims Mr Quiet.

"Well we're not going to follow any guidelines from that bloody zoology course you did," the ex-bikie laughs. "I'm not sure anyone would ride something that looks like butterfly shat out a rainbow."

"Now, fellas," the manager says, rubbing the bridge of his nose as his eyes squint like they've sucked on lemons. "They're sticking with the new paint job since they've already invested in it, so no train is going to look like they've had a run in with a flock of lorikeets." Giggles were shared around while the Quiet fellow sunk into his wool vest a little to match his sudden desire to be fairly quiet. His confidence was on such a roll too.

"So what else have we got?"

"Well, we could play soothing music in the other carriages?" suggested the only female member of the staff meeting.

"Most passengers take their own anyway, let alone those who share their music with everyone else," the bikie retorts nicely.

"So what we do is we appeal to the oncoming generation," says the youngest, and probably the most arrogant, voice of the room. "What is it that kids these days like to have?"

"Well they like to talk a lot and listen to music," says the Quiet Fellow.

"Yes, we've established that," the instigator says pulling out his Chinese medicine balls, twirling them in his hands like David Bowie in a Jim Hensen film, the bells ringing quietly but just enough to carry out across the room and bring a gentle and hypnotic silence to the party of mismatched staff members.

"But what else is there? What is it that kids do these days? This music, this talking. They're of the same generation, and it's called Generation iY. They walk around with their Apple gear with the air and confidence that they can do anything they want, because it's the palm in their hands.

"But," his hands clamp and the soothing sounds stop suddenly. "That isn't always the case. Their devices can only be used in confined areas, they are restricted to using them to their full potential.

"So what do we do to entice Generation iY?" he inquires to the world as the toll of his stainless steel spheres begin again. "We empower them. We expand the borders of their restrictions. We are a public service, and we give to the public what they need. Why not give them what they want?"

The instigator leans back, nods forward and his hypnotic allure disappears.

"So..." the manager begins. "What you're saying is... We'll appeal to the kids by 'empowering' their gadgets?"

"How do we empower peoples gadgets?" the Quiet fellow inquires to the world in a desperate and confused plea.

"Well, I don't think he means empower them," the ex-bikie explains. "I think he means giving all the bloody functions to those iPhones and whatever."

"So what function is missing?" the Quiet fellow, a little behind on the times with his Nokia from '99.

"Well," the lady leans forward with her iPhone. "I can connect to wifi and download apps and it won't cost me anything. And my brother likes to keep himself updated with his games and news stuff, which he gets from accessing internet from his iPad."

The room sat in silence for a moment. Slowly, in unison, the group turned their head to the manager. Except for the instigator, who continued to lean against the wall with his arms crossed and his head nodded forward.

The manager, staring at the device that has been placed gently on the table, debated with himself. What kind of a suggestion is this? To get Wifi on the trains? I mean, it wouldn't be hard to get that going because the lines would just go through the power lines, and they'd connect there. And there's plenty of options for people, like the said iDoohickeys, and maybe even peoples laptops.

Though the consequences can be pretty extensive. Kids could get on the net, spend the day on the train and just download as much as they possibly can. Heck, even porn entrepreneurs would have a field day. Everyone accessing it all at the same time while they commute their way across town. It's just asking for trouble.

"What are we? A Fucking Mcdonalds?"


Next thing you know, I'll have a Mega-Mac with fries.

What was in the box

A good six year ago, and I was learning to play table top games, particularly Warhammer 40k. Now I'm not a big fan of 40k, because frankly I'm lazy and making an army seems like a butt-tonne of work. I mean even a Necron army seems like lots of work, with having about 21-41 models in 600pts (I can't remember if Warriors can come in units of 10 or 20). Yes, I am quite lazy.

There was one army that I really enjoyed because they were just goofy: Orks. I was tempted to join the ranks of Orks players, and wanted to start off with a bang. So I bought a £200 Gargantuan Squiggoth (it was 200 quid at the time).

It was big, and it was fun. But I just didn't get off my arse and get it assembled or anything. So six years down the track, moving house and dusting off the box, and thinking to myself “Hell, it's about time”. So over last weekend, I worked my way to assembling the awesome model, Howda and all.

It was a struggle at first, because I couldn't get the cap off my glue. Somehow I'd knocked it over and it slowly seeped out and stuck itself from the inside. Luckily I didn't lose too much glue. I even ended up pouring it out of the bottle itself, but that was a bad idea. Way too much glue going everywhere. So much glue even, that when it had all dried up there was this dangly bit hanging from underneath its neck, made from dried glue.

If the head falls off, because I believe there's a large gaping space between the head and the neck, I'll have to get green stuff if the head falls off.

The tail was the most annoying. Trying to keep it there for about two hours without it gluing and holding of it's own accord and having the sharp pointy bits dig into my hands was really not very comfortable. So after giving up, I realised I could just keep it in place by using parts of the Howda.

The Howda wasn't too much of a hassle. It came in 6 pieces: The main carriage, 3 side balconies and 2 front seats. It's plenty of room for the 20 or so Orks that it usually carries.

Now to get some weapons on it. I'm thinking of using the Gun Boars Cannon as a Lobba or a Kannon.

Merc Minis part 2 – rules and alternative game options

Now I'm looking over the rules for Mercs. It's interestingly complicated while keeping things to a minimum. You have to get a D10 for each figure, and I'd recommend D4s for tracking health, a few counters and you get a card. The card is used for everything, from movement to firing range, to attack templates, which is very different to the usual Tape Measuring that I've experienced in the past.

I'm quite liking the game and I'm starting to wonder what sort of alternative scenarios one could do. I mean, given a few undead or zombie figures and design a table of a shopping centre and you can make a zombie scenario with a few special rules.

Players start on one end, and a target starts on the other (A civilian they've been hired to save). In the middle of the right and left sides are zombie spawning locations.

Zombies have 1 Blood (HP for those playing at home), one or two move points, and a low melee attack that increases as more are in attack range of a player. Zombies can't Snap.

Weapons don't fire through shelves, and grenades that normally don't do damage (like an ice grenade) simply deal 1 Blood (Damage) to zombies.

Well that's an easy scenario to think of because zombies, like cheese, goes with everything. And because I play Warmachine I can grab some Mechanithralls or Alexia's Risen models to play because they're all 30mm bases too.

If they had rules for 40mm bases, that'd be cool, because then I could get some Brute Thralls and use them for special hard-to-kill targets. Iiinteresting.

The Big Move – Not synonymous with bowel process

Seriously, a trip that isn't even 5 minutes down the road shouldn't feel like a big move, but the shenanigans were ridiculous.

We'll rewind a little bit to Saturday. Saturday I spent the better part of the day talking head over heels with Jenny, happily making her giggle like a school girl, blush like a tomato, and smile like the top of her head was going to fall off.

Thankfully, it didn't fall off. It would've made things a little awkward having half a head to kiss when she gets here.

Sadly, I had to leave a little early. I still had things to pack and it's hard to do two things at once. (Shaddup, I’m a male). Bits and bobs were thrown into boxes at quick haste while my clothes were washed and dried for the last time until Dee gets a dryer.

The evening came and I was running late for Girl Clumsy's birthday. I knew that because I got to the station, looked at my pocket watch to check the time (cos i'm classy like that) and found it was 7pm. I suspected I wouldn't get to her party on time, but I didn't suspect that I would be so late as to get there at 9.

Sidenote: The walk from South Bank station to the Gabba is longer than one would think.

So I arrived at 9, was informed the party was upstairs and enjoyed the remainder of the best dressed competition. Everyone was looking snazzy in their suits and their costumes. The person that really stood out was the Roger Moore space suit, who coincidentally won the Best Dressed competition.

This was also where I saw Trish. It'd been a while since I last saw her, and I think it was before she had discovered that she was sick. So with all the kemo, she has gone wig shopping. And at first I didn't recognise her, just this nice blonde lady trying to attract my attention.

Then the competition dispersed and I made my way to see Girl Clumsy before realising that I forgot to ask Trish something.

“Hey Trish, is there a bar tab going on at all?”
“You just missed it”

Blast. I felt a little nervous and awkward there mostly because I hardly knew anyone, aside from one or two names that had cropped up. Dan Beeston was one of these names. I'd heard it several times in the past, and when he approached me near the end of the night as I texted Jenny, he was a little surprised to find that I knew of him. I should've said “I'm a private investigator” but instead used “I'm telepathetic... Oh and I saw you at the best dressed comp.”

After finding out about how I missed the bar tab, I approached Girl Clumsy who was happy to see me and gave her a present from myself and Jenny. I had a pack of Bond Cards which were battered up (I've had them for a while) and Jenny gave me a large bag of Hersheys Chocolates for her. She was ecstatic as she turned over the bag to find out what it was.

Apologies to Girl Clumsy if the chocolates are a little/a lot melted/shattered/deformed. They've been hiding in a pocket in my bag since I got back from the US.

It was a good night. I spent my time as the gaming room around the Poker Players, the hardly touched Roulette set, and the Wii Mario Cart. A fellow named Anthony and his (What I assume) girlfriend sat down across from me and we played our own version of Roulette, and most of the game was spent trying to bet the right colour between red and black, along with being confused by the words on the cloth mat that acted courageously as our French Roulette Table.

Eventually another fellow (Who's name I've completely forgotten but I know his face because it's very unique with long hair) came along and we all gave up on Roulette and played cards, and he ran us through a variety of different card games. There was only one that we didn't play, and that was because the entire thing involved betting your right to be nude, and he told us a story about one of his mates who would always get naked so it was hard to bluff him.

The table players changed eventually and we ran through a few games of poker, with a few interesting characters whom I didn't get the name of, not even the fellow who introduced himself to me.

The night went on, various tunes to the theme of James Bond playing in the background, along with film of Jurassic Park on one of the tellies, and eventually after catching up a little with Arian we drifted off home.


Now that night, I had a few drinks. Just Strongbows original (they didn't have anything better) and for some reason I did actually get a little pished. Not anything serious, but just enough to give that woozy feeling as I went to bed, a rather long and heavy slumber, and that parched taste when I woke up. It was only about 4 or 5 drinks (I found had $30-something laying about in shrapnel and notes!) and I had to drink to get rid of the nerves that really kicked me in the pants last night.

But after not having drunk for so long, I guess I get a little vulnerable to the sauce for now. All well, cheap drunk means I'll be under the table with Jenny.

But this was the day for the big move. I had most everything packed, a few bits and bobs still floating about, and still the plates and bowls to pack (Which are being done tonight). Just a matter of getting the ute... and someone to drive with me.

Now I have my learners, which is somewhat embarrassing at the age of 24, but I don't really care. I can't afford lessons, and there's nobody available to really drive with. So I have good excuses. But that doesn't mean I can't drive.

There was a simple plan. Dee would join me and help with the heavy lifting and I'll drive with her in the passenger seat. No worries. But I give her a call and she says that she was expecting later in the afternoon, and so had made a date with her partner. Fair enough. I call up mum and see if she trusts me to drive and have her in the passengers seat. Nup. But she would let my brother-in-law, who can't do any heavy lifting because his back has been shot to shit, sit in the car with me while she follows.

*Sigh* righto. We'll run with that. Then I get a message from Dee saying that she can do it but later in the arvo. Fair enough, call mum back and ask her to cancel the plan. I'll be coming over to hang out until Dee is done with her date.

Come 4pm, about the time that Dee's movie finishes, I get a text saying she's in Personal Drama Central. Right. Today won't all go to pot. I'll still grab the keys and give her the cash bond that I have for her as mum drives me back to my old place.

I get there, knock on the door and she's out the back with Cranny. Apparently the Drama is all done and she can help me now. *Sigh* Cool cool. Now for the fun part.

After a short tour of the townhouse, showing off bits and pieces like awesome sliding drawers and a nice fridge, a built in oven and stove top, and a hidde away dishwasher, we make our way back to mums to grab the ute, an '88 Toyota Hilux.

“It's a deathtrap!” exclaimed Dee as she simply stared at it.
“It works,” I retort as I climb into the car.
“I'm not pushing it.”

Now the problem with this car is that it hasn't been treated very well. It's a little rusty, the bench seat is slowly tearing apart and the foam is bringing up plumes of dust, and the gearbox is a little worn out. That is to say, trying to get into gear is no simple task. As far as I know, the linkages have gotten a bit too worn out and it's hard to get parts for it. So just some oiling and they're fine so long as you get some practice in.

Now I haven't had much practice with this car, but as the night went on, it got better and better. Just have to get used to the Roo-hopping, and get a bit more practice with reversing. Otherwise, I thought I was pretty good and so did Dee, which is nice because she didn't die from fear.

After finishing at about 9:30, I started assembling my bed and Dee toddled off to her own bed to crash herself. After some other fiddling about, I got enough done to go to sleep so I could actually sleep before work tomorrow.

Mercs Minis

Now for a little while, I've been wanting to play a table top game on a small scale. I don't mean something like Warmachine, which is small scale Army, but I mean Small Scale Squad.

Mercs Minis seems to be in the right Direction. It's small squads thrown against each other on a cluttered board. I haven't had a good look at the rules, but it may be suiting my tastes, which is that little bit of science fiction that I haven't had much to do with in regards to table top.

Conveniently enough, to buy the entire range of figures and game decks isn't too bad. Now to get the dosh.

This is a box.

It's a sentimental old box. I've had it for nigh on six years. I got it ordered in through a friend one day on the first pay day I had from the job I had.

Mind you, I didn't order specifically the Box, but what was inside it.

There's a silent credo amongst gamers that says that they shall have at least one project unfinished. It could be for any reason: don't want to; have higher priorities, such as something shinier; just plain old got distracted.

I don't know why I haven't finished this particular project, so I suspect that it's the latter reason. But this box is filled with such wonder and magic that I just can't behold it.

But soon. Soon I will face this troublesome devil and conquer it.

Soon.

Dosh

If there's one thing I hate, it's money. It's a little bit of bullshit that ruins wallets and ruins lives.

It's implemented to create a balance to greed. Back in the day if someone was greedy, they would simply steal whatever it was they wanted. Food, machinery, even homes.

Money is a pleasant distraction from the temptation of simply taking things away. There's at least a balanced trade, where you can sell food for money to buy another machine that you apply to your home. A simple chain of events.

Greed is centred on the one aspect, rather than just “having it all”, and to earn it you work for it. You earn more and you spend less, mostly to save some sort of money so you can use it for potential emergencies.

That's what I hate about money though. It's trying to manhandle the crap that comes with the responsibility of having money.

Just recently I had to move, and after saving money every week to actually guarantee that I'm going to live in the new residence, I have all but drained myself of money. I'm lucky to have my credit card to get me by without getting charged an arse-tonne of overdrawn fees and whatever other bullshit the bank can pull out.

Although my new landlady is very loose and uncaring of how the situation pans out (i.e. Pay it when you can so long as you do pay it) I hate having to owe money. I still owe money to my mates for getting some stuff back in the country for me, and while I know they won't be disappearing any time soon and that I can get the money to them, I still feel guilty for not having paid them back yet after 2 months.

Then there's the car rego. I have a car that I can't drive because I don't have my Open license yet. I don't even have my provisionals because either I don't know anyone who has the spare time to let me drive them around for an hour or two for 100 days (Sporadically or not), I don't have any money to get lessons from a driving instructor, or I'm just lazy.

But I paid the 6 months rego so that my brother-in-law, who is caring for and using the '88 Toyota Hilux, can drive it without getting pulled over and the both of us copping a fine, and possibly me losing my learners without trying.

Otherwise I have my phone bill which I botched up royally. Instead of going out and buying a $50 phone from the local Telstra Shop, I figured it wouldn't be any harm to simply call them up and have them send a new one. No worries, I thought. I get a new phone without any problems.

About a month later, I receive a letter in my mailbox that was 2 weeks late, informing me that my bill was 4 digits long, and 57 cents. Separation fees account the remaining amount on the current plan along with a handful of other fees, and while I was in the US I made a few overseas calls to the US. So I get doubly charged by calling from the US to AUS and back to the US.

Gladly the only amount actually overdue was the calls, to which I roused up some money and threw it at them with a few harsh words in tow. So now the only amount I owe is the separation fee which remains until the original contract ends late next year. That should slowly be whittled away now, especially since I don't send many texts and make many calls these days.


After having a conversation with my landlady we discovered that we got a little lost in translation. She requested a week in advance. “Week in advance” to me meant that I needed another weeks rent to pay her for emergencies. But no, that's just a weeks worth of rent that I don't have to deal with and can put into other things. Like Groceries.

Food is an annoying thing to deal with because you always fucking need it. It's not an issue of “Oh he's a boy, he won't know what to get for himself to cook, cos he doesn't do that sort of thing”. That's not true. I can do a pretty greasy spaghetti bog, if I do say so myself. And Stuffed potatoes? I'll probably need to get a steamer for the microwave, but that's about it. Butter, Sour Cream, Coleslaw, Fried mince, diced tomatoes, shallots, some grated cheese and voila. A pile of food you can make vicious dinner to.

But the other problem is that I go to Harrys Diner every day. I have a Tab there and so I pay him whatever I've racked up at the end of the week. Now my diet usually consists of one, maybe two cans of V a day. Yes, this is very unhealthy (I like to think I balance that out with water and no caffeinated drinks over weekends (Short of Jager Bombs)). Then I have whatever takes my fancy at Harrys, which can be anything from a Bacon and egg sandwich, to a Harrys Hotdog, to a Harrys Breakfast. One time I asked for baked beans and toast, and it was good. But it all adds up and over the past couple of weeks my tab has been a little too high. I need to get off the caffeine and lower myself to 2 meals a day, breakfast and lunch, with no snacks in between. It's hard because those paddy cakes with the Pink icing and half covered in Hundred and Thousands taunt me with their deliciousness. They're so fluffy I could die with every bite!

Luckily this week, I'd either done really well or James had forgotten to put things on the Tab, so my tally was a reasonable number under the usual. So that extra cash is going towards groceries.

And all through this, I'm still saving because my ING account direct debits my savings account every week. So while it may slim down my weekly budget, it's being put in the right place. Otherwise, I would have to dip into the cash I have left over from the US.

Tell you what, I'm pissed off at the Exchange Rate these days. I wanted to come back and get a profit from what I have left from my visit to Jenny. I wanted to get at LEAST an extra half of extra money. But nooo, apparently some ponce decided to see how bad the dollar can get, and now we're almost at equal dollar value.

I tried explaining exchange rates to Jenny, but I pretty much just confused her. I thought about it the other day another way to explain it and I figured Apples and Oranges may be the way to go.

Say US Dollars are Apples.
Say AU Dollars are Oranges.
You can exchange Apples for Oranges, but you wouldn't necessarily get the same number of apples or oranges.

When I went to the US, I would get 80 percent of an Apple for each Orange I traded in. I was hoping to get the same when I got back, or if the exchange rate had changed, I would end up with more Oranges than I originally traded in.

So I went there with 100 Oranges. I traded in and got 80 Apples. If the exchange rate had changed from 80 apples per 100 oranges to 70 Apples per 100 oranges, I would have 80 Apples to change back to Oranges, which works out to be 114 Oranges.

However, my hopes were dashed when the exchange rate continued to balance. At the moment, we're getting ~99 Apples per orange. So with those 80 Apples I have, I will get back 80 Oranges (And a lemon peel). So with the exchange, I've lost 20 Oranges.

Fingers crossed that makes some sort of sense to her? Fact of the matter is, I want to get this dosh out of my friggin house and into my savings account so that I have a reasonable amount of emergency money. Call me greedy, but it's nice to have a contingency stash. Not to mention, I can use it to spend on Jenny when she gets here.

*Sigh* I hate money. Can't live with it, can't live without it.


Damnit! I can't resist a big block of crunchie.

In the month of October

Just over two months ago I met the most wonderful woman. She was nervous, and excitable, but had a charming smile and a small skip in her step that was happy to have proven the dark side of herself wrong. She walked over to me in what seemed like slow motion. I took her all in, her smile, her hair, her body. She was wonderful.

I thought back to the day we first spoke, at the Burger gathering, how cute she sounded and how funny she was. I wanted to know more about her, to find out what make her who she is.

Almost eight months later, we finally met and she was exactly what I had grown to know and Love. Things were a little nervous on the way home, and I tried my best to break off as much ice as I could. It was easy to crack, to make her giggle and laugh, which I still love to hear. She told me about all the things she wanted to do while I was there, of all the people that I'd get to meet. I marvelled at some of the things that her home had different to ours back home, and she taught me so much that I didn't know.

Halfway through the two weeks I had with her, we had our 8 month anniversary. We were still boggled at how we lasted so long, how strong our relationship had become. We were even proud of ourselves, having found each other by chance and doing what so few have been able to do before. We marvelled at the fact, and smiled as we held hands across the dinner table.

I'm still stuck on the day after, the morning after she picked me up from Detroit, finding myself reaching over and looking for her before realising that she's actually still in Kalamazoo. Before I get sad, I reach over to my phone every morning to remind her that I love her, just as she walks out of the doors of her work.

It's harder and harder each day to face a day without her, but I appreciate that I can still message her of a morning and of a night. She brightens my day, just knowing that she still loves me.

At the time of this posting it has been exactly 10 months since Jenny and I first met, since we first began this amazing ride together. In two months, we will be at an entire year. This really has been a wonderful year, an exciting year with new challenges and wonderful adventures throughout. And I'm glad it has been Jenny that has been there with me.

Happy 10 month baby

Sonic 4

Anyone who knows me well enough, or has seen me in the street, knows that I'm a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog. He's been my favourite character since I was a kid playing the 8-bit games on the Sega Master System (The first console I can remember having – Apparently we had an Atari?).

I remember the most frustrating level of Sonic the Hedgehog was the Jungle Zone, where you had to climb up the waterfall and if you fell, you had to start again. It was frustrating as a little kid going too far over a platform and plumetting to your death even though you knew that there was a platform that went from both sides of the screen that had JUST left view.

There was also the time playing Sonic 2, still on the SMS, and being so proud that I'd collected all six of the emeralds. Even the two really annoying ones, where you had to use a hang glider to grab the one in the sky and do something in particular (I think it was press left) to get in through a particular vent so that I could get it because I couldn't go back for it at all!

Actually you couldn't go back for any if you failed the first time, it was impossible unless you started the level again after dying, and it's difficult to justify that when extra lives are very few and far between. I think there's about 2 on every level, and 1 if you get 100 rings.

Anyway, I kept going and going, and became ridiculously good at finishing Sonic 3 and Knuckles on the Mega Drive. After that, came Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast. That's pretty much where I stopped, mostly because of being unable to pick up a Dreamcast. So the era of Sonic ended. The next Sonic game I picked up was a compilation disc with all of the Mega Drive Sonics and a handful of the game gear ones (Apparently someone was a douche and forgot that they HAD a higher resolution)

After that, it was quite a few years before I invested in another Sonic game and that ended up being "Sonic the Hedgehog" on the Xbox. That was where I found myself disappointed. I loved the 2D side scroller platformer that was Sonic. then they had this series of free roaming games that only the die-hard fans really followed.

I'm sorry, but the controls of that game were just too out of whack for me. One Nudge to the left and you have him running straight into a wall, or off into oblivion. Things were pretty and all, but just too ridiculously crazy for me to handle.

And so it's 2010, and another Sonic game is coming out. BUT it's gone back to the old Roots, where it was side scroller platformer. They bumped it up to 2.5D, where it's still on a 2D playing field but is made of 3D graphics, but that's okay. It looks like the Sonic I know and Love. It comes out wednesday, so that night before I talk to jenny will be involving the downloading and playing of Sonic 4.

Game on.

Life and times

*yawn* It has been a very very long week. The amount of sleep I want, and have even gotten, has been through the roof. I spent all last weekend snoozing through the warm sunlight that we had, and that was having a 3 day weekend thanks to asking for a 'personal day'. I was meant to be preparing for the move I have to perform in less than a week, but I haven't really done much in that respect. I cleaned up a little, washed my clothes, put some DVD's in a box, put some figures into another box, and that was it. I was lost otherwise, and spent most of my time pacing around the room thinking "I know I should be doing something, but I don't know what to do".

My room isn't a horrid mess or anything, but there's lots of iddy biddy things all over the place. The place I'm moving into looks good, and because Dee has bought the place, she has put up a reasonable digit for rent which isn't too far from what I'm paying now. She's looking for a third person to move in, so instead of having me pay half the rent, she has lowered it to something more reasonable until we get the third person in. In which case, the overall goes up and my share goes down.

What's going to be great about this place, aside from being a townhouse that has one neighbour because the other sides are a Tennis Court and a School Footy field and that the different train station I have to go to is the same distance as where i am now to my current station, is that I'll have a wardrobe to use. A wardrobe man! At the moment, I've got this shitty Ikea thing that is only good for hanging my wallet and keys from, and doubling as a long bedside table!

It's the simple things in life...

I AM going to have to get myself that Desk I always wanted and bookshelf. My collection is slowly growing and I really just want to have them easily accessable rather than having them hide in the TV unit that Richard and Mel gave me. Same thing with my games, I want to put them into a fucking shelf, rather than have them piled up next to the respective consoles.

My eyesight is starting to worry me. I think it's the low light that i'm regularly subjected to at work and at home. Work's lightbulbs, those long cylindrical ones that I've forgotten the name of, and the light here at home are both rather dull. I can hardly see the floor when the light at home is on, and it doesn't help that I've got visual snow too. Seriously, can't look at black and see just black. It's like TV on bad reception. It could just be the sleep though, because my eyes are starting to ache a little every so often. Could be I need a new prescription on glasses too, I dunno. I've only had them for... 2 years I think? I'm not sure. I know it's at least a year.

Today I was meant to go out with mum and see a movie. I'm pretty sure we were meant to, but I think mum forgot? Or I told her not to? I don't know. I just know she's not here, and that's a little inconvenient because I wanted to grab some boxes from the local self storage place so I can do some packing over the week. Then come saturday, i get my bro-in-law with my Ute, that i'm legally not allowed to drive becuase I'm still on my L's, and we just do a few trips and Bam. Just like last time and the time before.

The only thing we really have to worry about is the rain. Which came almost torrentially on thursday night/friday morning. Well, maybe not Torrentially, but there were torrents involved. There was a lot of it, okay?

Then there's Nats party that I'm going to that night. I have my clothes pretty much picked out, and I must remember Jennys present to Nat. Jenny got a block of chocolate, and now Nat gets her return present sooner than later.

Jenny and I are doing really well. I'm actually going to leave the ambiguity of that line open, because it's all true.

Video games are video games. I've been playing Borderlands incessantly trying to work my way up to max level. It's really hard getting up to level 61. Level "Hurr Hurr" 69 is going to be nuts when the download comes to allow everyone to that level.

But that's my life at the moment. Nothing else has been happening except being that little bit more exhausted than usual and money pouring out of my pockets like piss through a seive.

Mum always called me the blue screen of her life.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you poison us, do we not die?
NO! Because we're better than all you stinking fleshbags!
Viva La Robolution!
- Quote from a Claptrap Propaganda Tower

If I haven't said it before, I'll say it again. I love Borderlands. It's a game that takes itself as far from seriously as reasonably possible, then throws in a few extra feet for good measure. The gameplay is fun, where you run around and shoot as many bullets as possible at something to kill it. At least that's my experience as Roland, who has ammo regeneration. That's probably cheating.

But I've had a lot of fun playing the game, and especially their expansions. Some of the bosses aren't that fantastic. The Destroyer is quite a let down, Dr Ned kinda needs a new tactic, and Generall Knoxx should probably consider getting out of the robot suit.

The fourth expansion takes on a new boss, as you'd expect from something that isn't designed to be an arena *cough*Underdone*cough*. This is Claptraps New Robot Revolution. He has let loose the clap traps from their bonds of slavery and brought forth havoc among the populace of Pandora.

As far as I've found, Claptraps have got about three different classes themselves. Master Samaurai, which are a variant of 3 different figures (A boxer with punching gloves; a random dude with a pair of wooden mallets; and Mr Tee with a pair of knives); Freedom Fighters, firing off a shotgun or a combat rifle; and suicide bots. They also tend to come out in hordes, filing out of a spawn point one after another for much longer than one would hope.

Then he has assimilated older enemies into Claptraps. Psycho-traps; Lance-traps; Skagg-traps; Rakk-traps. Pretty much every enemy has been turned into a variation of a Claptrap, with skin that has been tarnished with mechanical blight, and a giant fuse bulb Vacuum tube stuck into their heads (it's as big as their head again).

The best part is that Claptrap revives old bosses, who are extremely surprised to have been revived.

“Hehe, I'm baaack. Wait, I'm back?!”
General Knoxx -trap

I love this game. I can't wait to finish it. To boot, it's got an additional Eight levels to earn!

Ausnats 2010 Results

http://www.wargamerau.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=103567

Hey all,

My final task before turning in after a long weekend: reporting the results!

First off a few Thank You's.

To all of our sponsors: Ace Comics, Privateer Press, The Tin Soldier, Phoenix Forge, Irresistible Force, Back2Base-IX, Infinity Games, Mana Bar and Stewart's Trophies. They all provided excellent support and the event would not have run at all without them.

To my helpers: Skarburn, Discombobulate, Meatshield, Tilaurin, Norton, Richard & all of the Oz and NZ Press Gang (local and overseas...).

To my family: my ever patient wife, my son, Aunt Mavis and my parents.

To the players: without you all there IS no event and you were a fantastic and patient group. Easily the best group of players I have ever run an event for.

Now for what you all came here for - results!

2010 Warmachine & Hordes Australian Nationals

1 James Kerr-Reeve Protectorate of Menoth Champion, Best of Faction
2 Allen Love Cryx 2nd Place, Best of Faction
3 David Harris Cryx 3rd Place
4 David Lancaster Trollbloods 4th Place, Best of Faction
5 Damien Hutchins Protectorate of Menoth
6 Kieran Moore Cryx
7 Nathan Burns Legion of Everblight Best of Faction
8 Neil Pohlman Mercenaries Best of Faction, Best Dressed (Painted Army)
9 James Rothwell Khador Best of Faction
10 Aaron Davies Trollbloods
11 Kerry Clarkson Minions Best of Faction
12 Leigh Callahan Cygnar Best of Faction
13 Ben Hayes Protectorate of Menoth
14 Ben French Protectorate of Menoth Best Sportsman
15 Daniela Kuckhahn Circle Orboros Best of Faction
16 Rob Blacklock Cygnar
17 Tobias Ford Retribution of Scyrah Best of Faction
18 Rory Cartwright Khador
19 Dave Trueman Cryx
20 Prasant Moorthy Khador
21 Terry Masson Cryx
22 Rolf Heissleitner Cygnar
23 Joshua Claridge Protectorate of Menoth
24 Jonathan Van Vugt Cryx
25 Glenn Blair Protectorate of Menoth
26 Jamie Shirlaw Khador
27 Adrian Roberts Khador
28 Thom Weston Cryx
29 Alex White Cryx
30 Scott Shaw Legion of Everblight
31 Jason Cooper Cygnar
32 The Medway Khador
33 Grahame Roberts Khador
34 Aharon Claridge Cryx Wooden Spoon

Prizes:
First Place: Jackhammer Trophy, Signed copy of Hordes Primal Mk2, $250 Ace Comics Voucher
Second Place: 2nd Place Trophy, $150 Ace Comics Voucher
Third Place: 3rd Place Trophy, $100 Ace Comics Voucher
Fourth Place: 4th Place Trophy, $50 Ace Comics Voucher
Best Dressed: Privateer Press Art Print of Choice, Warmachine Cuff Links
Best Of Faction: Framed Certificate
Best Sportsman: Engraved Tankard, $50 Mana Bar Bar Tab
Wooden Spoon: Wooden Spoon, Hordes T-Shirt.2010 Slam-a-palooza Results

1 Tobias Ford Skorne First Place, Most Warjacks Destroyed (6), Most Successful Power Attacks (12)
2 Scott Shaw Legion of Everblight Second Place, Most Assassinations (3)
3 Kerry Clarkson Minions Third Place
4 Ben French Protectorate of Menoth Most Beasts Killed (4)
5 Rob Blacklock Cygnar
6 Alex White Cryx
7 Dave Trueman Cryx Most Infantry Killed in 1 Turn (13)
8 Nathan Burns Legion of Everblight
9 Jamie Shirlaw Khador
10 Neil Pohlman Mercenaries
11 Daniela Kuckhahn Circle Orboros
12 Rolf Hiessleitner Cygnar
13 Terry Masson Trollbloods
14 Jonathan Van Vugt Cryx Fastest Win (19mins)
15 Glenn Blair Protectorate of Menoth
16 The Medway Minions
17 Aaron Davies Trollbloods
18 Thom Weston Cryx

Prizes:
First Place: Oz Discordia Trophy, $150 Ace Comics Voucher
Second Place: 2nd Place Plaque, $100 Ace Comics Voucher
Third Place: 3rd Place Plaque, $50 Ace Comics Voucher
Other Awards: Plaque, $10 Phoenix Forge Voucher

Painting Competition:
Best Warcaster/Warlock/Solo: Patrick O'Connell (macmusic22) - Major Markus "Siege" Brisbane
Best Warbeast/Warjack: Daniela Kuckhahn (nailyon) - Feral Warpwolf

Prizes:
Framed Certificate, $50 Irresisitible Force Voucher

Thanks again everyone!

Australian Warmachine Nationals Weekend - Day 2

Huh? W hat's the time? I don't have my phone here. Look for the laptop. Nope, it's on the floor. With my phone. Cool. What's the time? 6:24. Right. Isn't that late? No no, surely we should be up at 6:30. Fuck it, I'll got back to sleep.

*ding ding ding ding*

Kelvins phone tinkled in the background from across the hall and made me groan in my mind. Nobody should be awake at 6:30 in the morning. It's an affront to the Powers that Be, who gave us the blessed Sunday to spend sleeping into the wee hours of the afternoon.

No no no, we're playing games today. We're going to enjoy playing games too. Well I am, while Kel runs himself that little more ragged running the event. Today was the SLAM-A-PALOOZA, a stuff around day of gaming for all with fun tables to play on, with their own little themes and features.

The favourite of the day though was “GIT OFFIN MA' LAWN!” where straight in the middle was a small shanty house that house an old man that runs about shooting someone with his... well a good description would be an Elephant Gun.

“Fetch me ma' killin pants!”

But it wasn't entirely fun for all, as we had the finalists from yesterday set up on a table in the corner. The tp four players were facing each other off with larger armies and the determination to go home with the Jackhammer trophy. All four of them would go home with trophies, made up by Humph and Kel themselves, along with other prizes, one of which was picked up by myself at Gencon Indy (A book of Hordes Primal signed by the staff themselves).

I had a fantastic time, even looking after the “Sausages inna bun” stall that was served at lunch. One less thing for Kel to worry about, really, and he was running around like a chook with its head cut off that day. I had myself 3 sausages inna bun, two for the usual and another for my efforts. It went down well with breakfast...

Yes, breakfast: 2 Servo Pies (a normal 'meat' pie, and an Angus Beef pie) mixed with 2 Red Bulls. Everyone could see what was going to happen, and they were standing at least a good metre away from me when they could.

And fuckin jesus they were right. I kept myself moving, just to make sure it doesn't concentrate into a biohazard in that area and that if anyone caught a whiff, they would only catch a small scent of it if anything at all. Kel was the only person who caught it, and that was while we were packing the terrain and stuff into his Man-cave. “Oh Medway that's wrong. Wrong wrong, it's all full of wrongibility.”

Back to the game, and away from the chemical warfare in my bowels, it was a day full of interesting fights with my pig army. Oh man, the Baconation list wasn't going well for me, as first game I lost within the first few turns; the second game was a buy (I don't get why it's supposed to be called a bye); the third game was on “GIT OFFIN MA LAWN” where I almost annihilated the old man in the house on first turn (Looking at my army it looked like everyone was revolting against the farmer) and I lost because Rob was playing a dude who shoots someone so many times that if they're not dead then they're pretty much bullshit; and the fourth game was on a temple table and I lost because I just couldn't roll well enough. And when I roll 5 dice, and have to take away the two best, and I still don't get above 9, it was pretty obvious where the game was headed.

All in all, it was extremely fun. And I know that Kel won't be organising another event for a long time, if at all. It was also a tiring game, so I'm going to go to sleep now. G'night.

Australian Warmachine Nationals Weekend - Day 1

It was a dark and stormy night. A Friday actually, and it wasn't really that dark but it was definitely gloomy and it wanted to storm so bad that it jumped up and down trying to wet itself with anticipation. And it was still only evening.

I'd gotten home to Dee in the kitchen talking with Mel about shenanigans as I packed up my gear to go to Kelvins for the night. Stop to take a call from Scotty to make sure where I was; my two privateer press related shirts; my laptop in case he wants two people to check lists; a network cable in case he didn't get one; stop to take a call from Scotty to ask Kel about whether he could stay the night; pack both my Warmachine: Prime and Hordes: Primal; make sure my wallet is in the bag; pack a pair of pantaloons to sleep in; take another call from Scotty to ask if I'd asked Kel the questions or not, to which his disappointment lay with how I hadn't gotten to Kels yet because I was still packing up my shit.

It was at this point that I was starting to remember why I don't like organising things with Scotty, because he will call you to make sure you're going to do that thing that you were going to do right then and there. It's almost as if he doesn't trust in people. I could understand with Aaron, because Aaron is quite unreliable and will either leave things to the last minute on principle or he will just not turn up at all without notice.

After bumming a lift from Dee to also discuss things like numbers for the house she's buying and I'm renting out of, I finally got to Kel's place, asked the questions Scotty wanted me to ask, and got a call from Scotty to ask if the questions had been asked.

This was the last night though, the night before the Australian Warmachine-Hordes Nationals. I was helping Kel organise the finishing touches with the event, such as event bags and checking army lists that people had sent in. To help pass the time with having background noise, Kel put on Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton one. Yeah, didn't really like it. Looked too sensible. And the girl looked like her innards were about to burst out like a waterballoon.

But after that, he really brought on the good stuff by playing Flash Gordon. I'd never seen it before, and neither had Scotty, but sweet jesus titty cinnamon. My favourite character is Dr Zarkov, because he's so ridiculous. "The Sun is not out? CHECK THE ANGLOVECTOR OF THE MOON!"

Also, Scotty and I were sad to discover that Hot Hail is quite lame. With such a fiendish machine that can create a variety of natural disasters, earthquakes, typhoons, hurricanes, why would you even bother putting Hot Hail on there?

Long into the night we prepared, organising prizes, table top terrain, etc etc etc. Midnight we eventually go to bed.


At 5:30 we rose to victory, which smells like reheated hawaiian pizza. Much like the delivered pizza I had last night...

We drove off to the venue, Comic Warriors in Annerley, and we got into the venue thanks to Glen the Owner and we set up the tables with the assistance of Disco, Allan and Olaf. I have no idea who Olaf is, I assume he was here either for "Magic the Gathering" or because he worked there. He was very keen on the game though, and we let him have a browse through the general rulebook to see if there was anything in particular he was keen on.

The day was divided up into 5 rounds between the 34 players that had registered and turned up. Four had to pike at the last minute for various reasons that I'm unaware of and will remain unaware of, so I will just say that they're off saving the galaxy from the moon being drilled by a gigantic laser and eventually causing it to land and making us explode.

The day for me was divided up into 7 parts, and behind the scenes I was messaging Jenny as much as possible to keep her updated with what was happening.

The first part was the first round of the tournament. We got right into it and I was faced up with the only Girl at the event. Righto, I'll take my Heavy Infantry List full of dudes in Steam Powered Armour.

Yeah, she ignored them and took out my Kommander with Teleporting Boulders. Oh sorry, Baulder. My bad. He's the big hippy guy who looks like Brian Blessed? Yeah, he disappears in a group of trees and teleports into a different set of trees near him.

She was nice though. Dani is dating Terry from Adelaide, who is a really nice and funny guy. I faced him at the end of the day at part 6. We found ourselves at the table closest to Kel and, because of the particular list he was fielding which is a REALLY nasty mob of skeletons with massive fuck-off axes, I said he was wearing a Dick Hat to compensate for using said list. Oh how we laughed. A few of the guys next to us were just wanting to get a tape recorder and place it on the table to listen to us yell at each other until we were stupid.

Second game was against Rob, with him using a Themed list as well full of the heavy infantry of his faction, and me using Karchev the Terrible who only lives up to his name when he gets assassinated by a zooming dude with hair spiked up with enough gel to straighten the tower of pisa, waving a big sword and thinking he's oh so scary because he remembered his dick hat this morning and the only reason he wasn't wearing it is because it got crushed in the luggage.

Third game was after lunch, to which we reach the third part. Lunchtime was simply a sausage sizzle out the back. Kel had gotten his aunt over to cook, and boy was she a bloody good sausage cooker (See, I haven't had a decent sausage in months because my roommates always leave them juicy and just that little bit undercooked rather than grilled), and I helped out by guarding the table from fiends who were very keen on the sausage sizzle, not that you can blame anyone. For about an hour (at least it felt it) i was guarding the table and saying the following lines.

"Okay, do you have your white card? When you want your drink, go to the counter, hand it over and grab you drink from the fridge."
"You don't have a card? Go up to the counter, they'll ask for some money and you get a raffle ticket. Bring that to me and I'll take it off your hands."
"You may have two sausages in a bun."
"Yes, that's two... of a sausage in a bun."

Everyone was really good about it, so I was happy with that. I had an extra half sausage for my efforts. Can't go wrong with a cold half sausage that has been cooked properly.

Third game, now, was against a fairly new player with one of the more difficult to face armies. One of those armies that has big buttons all over saying "This is good, and this is good too". Playing the Karchev list again, because he was really fun the other times I played him so why not play him again, I got the moral victory for making him kill EVERY single piece of my army. I think we sat there for a good... 6 turns before he finally whittled me down to nothing.

I was a little disappointed that I didn't have much more of an effect, because I had some bad rolls. Particularly a half dozen Snake Eyes (which are an auto fail on attacks) which would've been wonderful for them to hit. I would've also done better if that fkn elf who turns your warcasters impotent every turn she gets a chance, wasn't there.

Fourth game was my first, and only victory where he had made the fault by spreading himself a little TOO thin across the field and inevitably just ruined his chances for any sort of success. So I threw everything I had with, yes, the Karchev List. I felt a little bad because he knew he had spread himself thin, but *Shrug*.

Skipping the fifth game because we already know about Terry, we move onto the aftermath. Kel, Scotty and I were wasted. We wanted to get some food, and go home. So Terry and Dani joined us for dinner at the Pub across from Comic Warriors, got ourselves a dinner of steaks, lamb cutlets and pies (not in one serving, all different orders of course), before we made the trek back to Kels place to get the last bits and pieces for the event tomorrow and get what shuteye we could.

Speaking of which, goodnight. Talk to you latre. I mean later.

'Jacking in Prime

If there's one thing a Steampunk game must have, it's Giant Robots. Warjacks are that equivalent in Warmachine and fill a particular role of being pillars of Strength and Utility. With high health, armour and damage, they bring a worried face to many of the forces of the Iron Kingdoms.

Khador has a particular playstyle which, personally, can be described in three words: Axe To Face. Three of the Warjacks featured in Prime are a starling example of this. To start, they all have the same stats. Low Speed, Defence and Ranged Accuracy, Average Melee accurasy and High Armour and Strength. While they all match in stats they do come in a variety of flavours and armaments, from melee monsters to the handful of ranged killers.

So what do we have? There's always more than one way to skin an Argus, and the Juggernaut is first to give it a go with his Ice Axe and open fist. He throws himself at the opponent and whales down with such vigour that it leave a massive dent in whoever he's whaling upon, if not destroying them. The Juggernaut is well known for the utility of having an open fist and a very high strength Ice Axe, so strong that only four figures in the game have the same base Power and Strength.

But that's not the only thing that the Ice Axe offers. It's not made of Ice, which is a roaring positive since during summer it would be a little impractical, but it does turn opponent into ice. Critical Freeze is an ability that is few and far between, and even rarer is the immunity to it, and if caught under the effect of it then a figure is in a bit of strife. Melee attacks Automatically hit, and Ranged attacks have to hit a DEF that can only be missed on a roll of Snake Eyes.

But there's a small problem with having a Juggernaut with Critical Freeze. It's not the shake off rule, that's a problem for a lot of figures that can cause Stationary or even Knockdown. And it's not the immunity to it, because you can count the number of figures immune to cold damage on one hand. But it's the fact that the critical freeze is on a very high power attack, which means that even if you freeze a target they probably won't be around for the next attack. Though if they do survive, then you have another attack that doesn't need any boosting to hit, and ranged attacks you can throw in for good measure.

On the other side is a towel draped over the forearm, and holding an engraved silver platter serving what is colloquially known as the Knuckle Sandwich. The Open Fist gives the wonderful option of more Power Attacks, something that can change the game phenomenally... or not at all. You can Throw someone into another figure or you can stop someone from attacking by grabbing onto their weapon, or even their head!

But it's not necessary to have an open Fist to make Power Attacks. You can always perform a Headbutt Power Attack, where you knock them down so you can lay into them a little. While facing small based infantry, Trample has always been a wonderful option as you run over and destroy them by stepping on their heads.

The last option, and wonderful as part of an opening or final move, is Slam. Slam is great for throwing your target into his friends and knocking them down. If a Warcaster is behind a Warjack, for example, the Warjack is thrown a long distance and is knocked down, while the Warcaster is knocked down, along with damage taken everywhere!

There's only one Warjack in Khador that can do a better job of Slamming: The Marauder. Originally a mining jack, Khador figured that if it can do such damage to stone then imagine what it could do to a Warjack! Armed with a pair of Ramming Pistons the Marauder can pound a target into a murky paste, or he can Slam them far away with one single King hit by combining the Power of both of the Pistons.

However, a single high powered attack is not the be-all and end-all of some targets. Occasionally there's the necessity to follow up with something else, such as more hits from a Juggernaut (which will certainly destroy someone) or maybe a ranged attack even. This is where the Destroyer comes in follow his namesake and... well destroy targets.

The Destroyer is a simple jack with an Axe in one hand and a long range cannon in the other. The Axe is reasonably powerful for a Warjack of it's design and, given the opportunity from a critical hit, can cripple both hands of a Warjack in a single stroke. The Cannon is a bit more special, with the Arcing fire ability to help target the poor hapless saps that have been knocked down by the Marauder by ignoring the intervening models.

These are the basic tools of Khador. The only differences between these three warjacks are the weapons they are equipped with. They all have low defence, high armour and are all a bit slow off the mark. Combined with the right Warcaster or 'Jack marshall, they can either make up for the lack of Speed or the accuracy of their attacks.

Marshalls of Khador, however, will be discussed in a later post.

Australian Warmachine Nationals Weekend

I'm excited for this weekend. This weekend is the Australian Nationals for Warmachine-Hordes. I've even gotten my Press Ganger shirt, complete with lanyard holding a small collection of Privateer Press related Badges, and my Whitemoon Dreams shirt folded up in a corner with my gear waiting to be worn over the weekend. My figures are all laid out in the rather large, and now very heavy, gaming case filled with other nicks and nacks like Reference Cards, Dice, and AOE and Spray templates. There's also gum in there from when I was in the US, because fresh breath is good for the community.

As per tradition when I mention that I'm going to play a game, Jubs pipes up and asks “Are you gonna win?” as he has often forgotten my usual reply of “No.”

“Why not?”
“Because I'm not very good and I don't go to win.”

Which is true. I'm not a bad player, but I'm definitely not going to win the nationals or anything. I'm playing a trio of themed armies. The first is full of guys in what can be easily described as Power Armour, called “Man o' War” (http://enjoymedway.blogspot.com/p/warmachine-goal.html), and all it really does is play a mind game with the enemy who; The second is full of Robots going around and causing havoc where possible and led by a dude in his own Robot Suit; and the last is a farms worth of Pig people with rifles and a tendency to yell out SOUIE! They aren't what you'd call competitive, and that's how I like to play.

What's mostly exciting is the event itself. For one, players from all over Aus are turning up, young and old players, and they're all good to play against. Smack talk will be thrown across the table everywhere, a tradition of our local community, and some of the interstate players who have attended before will join in with us.

For another, this is going to be a massive event and very awesome compared to the others. I've been working up Behind the Scenes with Kel. He's shown me the the scenery to be placed everywhere; the prizes and goodies he has made up; the shenanigans he wants to put up on day two. He's done a fantastic job and I couldn't imagine anyone better to do the job of making it the best Nationals held in Brisbane. (there's my bit of brown nosing for the day)

Sidenote: I just realised I've still got superglue on my pinky-nail. I haven't put a figure together for about a week and a half...

Lastly, there's more Hordes books that are coming out on that weekend that I can browse through in my spare time! The Trollbloods book is coming out and I've always had a soft spot for them in my gamers heart. They're big, they're tough, and they're the comedic relief of Warmachine-Hordes. Yes, I realise that's a big thing to state after saying that I have an army of Pig Men that yell out SOUIE! but it's true!

When Hordes first came out, my friends and I each took our factions and conveniently we were all different. I was with Skorne then, but since then I have lost a large portion of interest. Since then, I have sold most of my stuff (or organised the selling of stuff) and now I'm down to a few things that I want to keep, such as Morghoul, Cyclops Warbeasts, a few Titans and whatever I really want to keep.

I have a small collection of Trollbloods, including the battlebox, a limited edition figure of the Dire Troll Mauler, and a Mercenary unit of Boomhowler and Co. (Who I want to bring back the Stink Bombs). Not much, but just enough to have a good game.



This weekend is going to be pretty sweet. Now to see what the downlow is for Auscon next year... Apparently instead of the Logan Entertainment Centre, they've moved to the RNA showgrounds!